25. Chapter 25 #2
I studied him, remembering how fiercely he’d defended the woman Ciro had called merchandise. Her name was Lacey, if I remembered correctly.
Lachlan’s expression remained hard. “I’m sorry the bastard hurt you. I’m not sorry Rafael killed him. If a man did that to my daughter, I’d make damn sure death came after he understood exactly why it was happening.”
There was no pity in his voice, only anger for what had been done to me.
I was grateful for that.
His reaction made it easier to continue, because there was something else I needed him to understand.
“I don’t want you thinking that was the only experience I’d ever had with a man, though.”
“I don’t.”
“There was someone else later.”
Lachlan’s gaze slid toward me again.
This time, I recognized the edge of jealousy immediately.
I nearly smiled.
“Someone you wanted?”
“Yes.”
His mouth flattened.
“He worked at the finca too. After what Rafael had done to the first man, no one was foolish enough to make assumptions about what I might allow. This man took his time. He knew I wanted him before he touched me, and when we slept together, it was because I chose to.”
Lachlan looked straight ahead.
“It was nothing dramatic,” I continued. “We liked each other. We had a relationship for a while. Then Ciro sent him to the United States for one of his operations, and I never saw him again.”
“What operation?”
“I don’t know.”
“Could’ve been The Sacrifice.”
Something in his tone made me suspicious.
“Was that Ciro’s club that your men burned to the ground?”
Lachlan went quiet.
I glanced sideways at him. “Are you hoping he died when you burned it down?”
“No.”
I waited.
His jaw shifted.
“Trying not to.”
I laughed despite myself.
“He was kind to me.”
“That doesn’t help.”
“Why?”
“Would be easier if he were an asshole.”
The ridiculous jealousy dissolved the last of my anger.
“You don’t even know his name.”
“Don’t need to.”
I shook my head and kept walking.
For another minute, neither of us said anything.
Then I stopped.
Lachlan took another step before realizing I was no longer beside him and turned back.
This was the part I needed him to understand.
“The reason I told you any of that is because I know the difference between something being taken from me and something I choose to give.”
His brows drew together, his attention sharpening on me.
“I was choosing you.”
Lachlan went still. For several seconds, he said nothing. His gaze held mine, then drifted back up the slope toward the boulder we could no longer see.
When he looked at me again, his shoulders had lowered, and the hard line of his mouth was gone.
“I understand that now.” He came a little closer. “I was so determined not to use your situation against you that I did the other thing men have been doing to you your whole life. I decided I knew what was best and made the choice for you.”
“Yes.”
“I fucked up.”
“Yes, you did.”
One corner of his mouth moved. “I appreciate how graciously you’re accepting my apology.”
“I thought I was being remarkably restrained.”
A quiet huff of laughter escaped him, but the humor disappeared quickly.
“It won’t happen again.”
I believed him.
Then his eyes dropped to my mouth.
The remorse disappeared, and the man who had kissed me senseless against that boulder was suddenly back.
“But understand something, Mouse.”
My pulse quickened.
“Next time I kiss you, I’m not stopping because I’ve suddenly decided to be noble.
” His gaze stayed on mine. “I’m going to kiss you until you’re holding on to me to stay upright, put my hands everywhere I’ve been thinking about putting them since that dungeon, and find out how many of those pretty little sounds I can drag out of you before you’re begging me for more. ”
Heat shot straight between my legs.
Next time.
Sweet Jesus.
I’d wanted him to stop second-guessing whether I knew what I wanted. I hadn’t considered what would happen once he did.
Lachlan watched my face, and the slow satisfaction in his eyes told me he knew exactly what he had done.
I cleared my throat.
“You are awfully confident.”
“I’ve heard you moan, Isabella.”
“Twice.”
“Okay, okay.”
My face warmed.
“That crisis of conscience certainly disappeared quickly.”
“You just made it very clear you knew exactly what you were choosing.”
“And you immediately became insufferable again.”
His mouth curved. “Good. Would’ve hated to lose one of my better qualities.”
I tried to pass him.
His hand closed around mine.
I stopped and glanced down at our joined fingers before looking back up.
“One thing hasn’t changed, Mouse. Protecting you from men with guns, cliffs, Marcela, or anyone else trying to hurt you? Not negotiable. I’ll put myself between you and them every fucking time.”
“That wasn’t the part I objected to.”
“I know.” His thumb moved slowly over my knuckles. “Your life is yours. Where you go, what you do, who you touch, who you fuck—those decisions belong to you.”
“Even if you hate the choice?”
His expression darkened. “I reserve the right to hate it.”
A laugh escaped me.
He released my hand, and we started downhill again.
After several steps, Lachlan adjusted the front of his trousers with a grimace.
“We should probably stop talking about sex.”
I glanced over.
“Why?”
He gave me a flat look.
My eyes dropped.
Oh.
I laughed.
“Glad you’re enjoying yourself.”
“You survived Ciro Delgado’s dungeon. Surely you can survive a hard-on.”
“That remains to be seen.”
I smiled as we continued down the mountain.
My ankle still hurt. Papá was still dead. Marcela’s men were somewhere behind us, and we had no idea how long it would take to reach Lachlan’s people.
None of that had changed.
But something between Lachlan and me had.
Even though he was protective, bossy, and determined to put himself between me and anything he considered dangerous, he understood that protecting me did not include protecting me from being a woman.
That part belonged to me.