Chapter 7
Carrington Office
Searcy, Arkansas
"I hate to interrupt you, but are you saying that the first time you met Dr. Stone was not in Searcy but at a hospital? You were his patient?" Harvey Cox asked, shocked.
Taylor gave a long sigh and said, "Yes, but it is not what you think. I was only his patient that one time. Before you start asking too many questions, let me finish this part of the story. I promise it will all make sense."
Stone Cottage
Gulf Shores, Alabama
March 2012
The next day, Taylor did exactly as the doctor had ordered. She went for some low-stress walks on the beach and then spent time lounging in Edna's amazing beach chairs. As she did so, Taylor was forced to accept some pretty hard truths about herself.
She tried to take her marriage apart, piece by piece, and examine it for cracks.
The one area that she kept coming back to was sex.
Given her lack of experience and sex partners, she struggled to work out exactly where it all went wrong.
After spending an entire afternoon contemplating it, she decided to reach out to the one person she completely trusted and who had enough sexual experience for both of them, Joules.
Around 10:00, she rang her, hoping that by then, everyone would be out of the office and Joules could talk privately.
Taylor expected her friend to be working late on the campaign or out on a date. Though dating for Joules was almost a joke. She only dated men for cover and the occasional distraction.
The truth was Joules had been seeing a married man on and off for the last decade.
Taylor had no idea what Joules saw in the guy.
He was much older and had been one of her policy professors.
Taylor saw no future in the relationship but given her recent relationship issues, who was she to throw stones?
Joules answered on the second ring. "Hey, what are you doing up so late? I thought you turned into a pumpkin at 10:00," Joules quipped as she answered, having already seen the call was from Taylor.
"The better question is, what are you doing? I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Are you still at the office or, heaven forbid, on a date?"
Chuckling, Joules responded, "No, I am actually home in bed. I am just lying here looking over some recent polls. What's up?"
"You're in bed? It's only 10:00. Are you sick?
" Taylor was shocked. Joules was the original night owl.
She never seemed to need much sleep. If she was home and in bed, that probably meant she wasn't alone.
It suddenly occurred to Taylor that her friend might have someone there with her.
If so, she didn't want to interrupt them.
"No, I am not sick, and before your overactive imagination goes into overdrive, I am alone. Harrison is not here. He is out of town. So, what's up?"
Taylor could hear how defensive her friend got whenever Dennis Harrison's name came up.
Joules knew how Taylor felt about adultery.
Given the events of the last few days, her prejudices against it were at an all-time high.
However, she needed Joules to help her understand some things about her marriage, and if that meant talking about Harrison to do it, so be it.
"Um, well, I have been thinking and wanted to run some things by you. You know, to get your perspective on them."
Taylor was being vague. It was obvious that Joules didn't understand what she meant because she said, "Okay, what kind of things?"
Taylor paused for a moment and then said, "Sex things."
"Whoa!" her friend laughed out loud. "Let me get this right: you want to talk about sex things. Who are you and what have you done with my friend? You know Taylor Carrington, the girl who once told me it was not ladylike to talk about intimate details of sex."
"Point taken, I am being serious. I have been thinking about the first year Bennett and I were married."
"Yeah, and?" Joules replied, trying to figure out where Taylor was going.
"Well, I was wondering, is sex really that big of a deal? I mean, would bad sex have been enough to drive Bennett to cheat?"
"What? What do you mean by bad sex?" Joules could not keep the surprise out of her voice. Taylor could tell that Joules was not very comfortable having this conversation. "You know, bad sex. I don't know how else to describe it."
Joules seemed to consider the questions for a moment, and then she said, "Well, to be honest, I think sex is like pizza.
Good pizza, okay pizza, or bad pizza, I am pretty much always up for pizza, and while some pizza is definitely better than others, I never turn down pizza.
I think almost all men would agree with me when it comes to both sex and pizza. "
"Okay, how about I describe it another way. Sex, good or bad, as a chore. Would that be enough to drive a man to cheat?"
"You mean you think sex is a chore?"
"Well, not always, but yeah, sometimes. Don't you? Or maybe not," fibbed Taylor, starting to feel very self-conscious. Maybe she was the only person who ever saw sex as being more trouble than it was worth.
"No, I don't. Of course, given my choice of partners, I don't get to have sex as often as I would like. But no, it is never a chore. Is that how you have felt about sex with Bennett the last few months?"
Taylor could tell Joules was uncomfortable talking about sex and Bennett, and she could hardly blame her. After all, he was her boss! Clearing her throat, she answered honestly, "Well, no, not the last few months. We haven't had sex in a long time."
"How long is a long time? What are we talking? A month, two, six?"
"Since the last miscarriage." Taylor was speaking so quietly that Joules could barely hear her.
"That was eighteen months ago. Are you telling me you two haven't been together since then?" Joules's voice was rising and was full of shock.
"No, but—"
Whatever Taylor was going to say was cut off by Joules saying, "Well, listen up, sister, that's your problem right there. If you're not sleeping with your husband, someone else is." Joules wanted to draw the words back in as soon as they were out of her mouth.
"Um, obviously. That is what started all this mess!" Taylor snapped at her friend. She knew Joules wasn't trying to be mean, yet her words hurt. For a woman known for her political savvy, she was doing a spectacularly lousy job choosing her words.
"Look, I am sorry I said that. It was insensitive. I don't know what you want me to say."
"I don't want you to say anything. I am just trying to figure out if sex is really that important, and I guess it is. It just never has been to me. I suppose I am just not a very sexual person. But I am beginning to think that the bad sex is what destroyed my marriage."
"First of all, sex did not destroy your marriage.
Not talking to each other did that. And from where I am standing, you both are partly to blame.
As for the other, Taylor, you are a beautiful, sexy woman who is just as sexual as the next.
You have just never found the person that tripped your trigger.
When you do, sex will make sense. I promise. "
“Maybe I am just fated to be alone? I don't know if I even believe in fate. Do you?" asked Taylor.
"I believe we make our own fate. If you want to find the person who trips your trigger, you will have to look for him. Things don't just happen. If you put yourself out there, there is a good chance you will find someone,” replied Joules.
Listening and nodding, Taylor said, "Maybe. We'll see." Then she got very quiet once more and asked, "Do you think Poppy is that person for Bennett?"
Joules didn't answer right away, and when she did, she said with a sigh, "Yes. I do."
"And Harrison, he is that person for you?”
"Sometimes." Joules's one-word answer left a dead spot in the conversation. Taylor waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't.
Taylor could tell that Joules was uncomfortable talking about this, but she couldn't let the conversation drop before she had some answers. For the first time, she felt she was finally asking the right questions. She just had to keep searching.
After a moment, Taylor asked, "Have there been others who did that for you? Tripped your trigger, so to speak?"
Joules was quiet for a minute more, and then, in a very small voice, she said, "Yes, a long time ago. There was someone I loved very much, and just being in the same room with him made my heart race. He touched every part of me with just one look."
"Who? When? You never told me about him." Taylor was stunned. She had no idea who Joules was talking about.
"It was when you were in Scotland, student teaching."
"Well, where is he now? Why aren't you with him instead of Harrison?"
Sighing heavily, Joules said, "For lots of reasons.
None of which I am willing to get into at the moment.
That is a conversation for another time.
What Dennis and I have works for us. It's not for everybody, but he gives me what I need for now.
And he is a very good man. You would know that if you ever tried to get to know him.
"There is a lot about his marriage that you know nothing about.
He and his wife have an open marriage. I have told you this many times.
His wife was the one who pushed for an open relationship.
He was against it at first. It was only after she had been with several other men that he even considered going outside the marriage. "
"Well, given that he was your professor when you two first started seeing each other, combined with the fact that he was and is still married, means that I have no intention of ever getting to know him better.
Not ever." Taylor knew she sounded judgmental, but at the end of the day, adultery was wrong.
Joules had tried to justify her relationship with Harrison for years, but to Taylor, it was wrong. Period.
Sighing loudly, Joules decided to cut her losses and end this conversation before either one said something they would regret.
Taylor had been through a lot the last few days.
It was best to end the conversation on somewhat of a good note.
Fake yawning loudly, Joules said, "Listen, sweetie, I am sorry.
I don't know if I have helped you find any answers, but I am exhausted.
This has been a killer week. I have got to get off and snag some z's.
Do you mind if we talk more about this another time? "
Taylor was not fooled by her friend's fake yawn. She knew Joules never went to bed before midnight. The woman was half vampire. But Taylor could feel the friction that always popped up when Harrison's name came up.
Not wanting her friend to be upset with her, Taylor said, "Sure. Thanks for talking to me. Get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning. And, Joules, I love you."
Joules said, "I love you too. Now, get some rest and stop overthinking every little aspect of your life. Things will work out. They always do. I will talk to you tomorrow." With that, Joules rang off.
Once she hung up, Taylor realized she had even more questions. Who was the mystery man that broke her friend's heart in graduate school? Is that what drove Joules into the arms of a married man? If so, could she be more forgiving of that? Taylor didn't know.
After she and Joules hung up, Taylor crawled into bed and lay for hours thinking about everything Joules had said and trying to figure out who the mystery man in Joules's life had been.