Chapter 16
Carrington Office
Searcy, Arkansas
"So, after everything that happened, you just decided to skip town and go to Miami?" asked Harvey. "Wasn't that a bit over the top?"
Considering her response carefully, Taylor said, "I can see why you would think that.
But at that moment, I only wanted to hide under the bed and never come out.
I remembered what it was like to be very depressed after my parents and brother died.
I worked hard on myself in therapy and with self-help techniques to learn how to better deal with my life.
I did not want to end up like I did before.
“Also, Bennett had made it clear that he wanted a divorce. Truthfully, by then, I did too. It felt wrong to stay in his family home. Getting out of town and out of the spotlight was the best plan.
By this point, Bennett had dropped back from seeking a vice-presidential spot on the ticket to working hard for a cabinet appointment.
At that moment, it was very doable. He was going to be hitting the campaign trail hard for Anderson.
I did not want anyone from the campaign suggesting we go out stumping together.
He would have hated that as much as I would have.
So, Miami gave me the fresh start I needed. It got me far enough away from Arkansas that no one recognized me. Best of all, it put me on the path of my future, though I did not know it then.”
Miami, Florida
March 2012
By early evening, Taylor arrived in Miami, picked up her car, found her apartment, and unpacked. One of the first things Taylor did was take a short drive to the local market and stock up on several staples and a salad for dinner.
Once back home, she fixed herself a large glass of iced tea and allowed herself to relax and enjoy her dinner.
Afterward, she dressed for bed and then, once tucked in, picked up her cell phone and called Bennett.
She had avoided calling him all day. She supposed that the more things changed in her life, the more they stayed the same.
He answered on the second ring, "Hello, Taylor. How was your trip? Are you all settled?"
Taylor was struck by how normal Bennett sounded. It was the first time he had sounded like the old Bennett in a very long time. "The trip was fine. Thanks. I called because Joules said you wanted to talk."
"Yeah, I did. Umm…Joules said the two of you talked about leaving everything as it is for now and then quietly dissolving the marriage a few weeks after the election."
"Yes, that is fine. But aren't you worried that someone will find out?"
"No, not really. I have some close friends who owe me favors. I think I can keep it quiet on my end. I want to ensure that you are on board with this plan. If not, I will drop out of Anderson’s campaign now.
I have given that a tremendous amount of thought, but Poppy is completely against it.
So are Joules and Edna. What do you think? "
"You should not drop out unless you have to. There is no other person who is more qualified or more committed. It is your dream to serve at a higher level. If you can, you should stay and see what happens."
The phone was silent for a moment, and then Bennett said, "Why are you being so nice to me now?"
"Well, as the last week proved, a lot can happen quickly, and angry, bitter women say and do stupid things. So I am working hard at not being one."
"Wow. That's impressive considering last Friday, I thought you hated me."
Taylor let out a long sigh and said, "I don't hate you, Bennett.
Believe me, I tried, but I couldn't. You are right.
We are very old friends, and that was all we should have ever been.
Maybe if the accident hadn't happened, things would have worked out differently.
You know what I mean, you with Poppy and me with someone else.
I don't know with whom, but someone. But their deaths, or more specifically, Tatum's death, changed everything.
I realized that while I was at the beach.
We ended up together mainly because of a poor attempt to hang onto him. We clung to each other out of grief."
After a moment, Bennett said, "I think you are right.
I think that sums our marriage up perfectly.
I still miss him every day, but the pain has lessened and is not as gut-wrenching as it was.
There was a long time when I could not even think of him without wanting to hit something.
Now, when I think of him, I miss him, but it is not as bad.
I guess it's true that time heals old wounds. "
"I agree," said Taylor. "The pain became bearable, but it was too late by then.
We were stuck in a marriage more of friendship than anything else.
I think that is why we never could have children.
Nature knew it was wrong to put the burden of holding a marriage together on a baby's shoulders.
If we had a child, you would have never allowed yourself to love her again.
And you do love her, don't you?" asked Taylor.
There was no need to say who the “her” was.
They both knew she was talking about Poppy.
"Yes, I do, with my whole heart. I don't say that to hurt you, but it's true.
I think I always have. We had one magical summer together after I graduated from law school.
Things ended badly. I never told you about her because it was just too painful.
The last few months before she broke up with me were crazy.
Your family and Tatum had just passed. The long-distance thing did not work for us.
She was in New York. I was in Searcy. I was studying like mad, trying to pass the bar exam.
I had my first big case and was working like seventy hours a week.
There were times I literally thought I was losing my mind.
“I want you to know that I was never with her after you and I started dating.
She was already married by then. Not once during our marriage was I ever tempted to stray until I saw her again.
Finding out that she was a widow was a game-changer for me.
Instantly, I knew. I knew we were going to be together again.
The chemistry and history were too strong.
“We had no contact until February of this year when I went to see her at Edna Stone’s insistence.
I did not want to go. The hurt and pain of being rejected and dumped, coupled with the knowledge that she replaced me so quickly, was still too raw.
I had no idea about Ben. I would have handled things completely differently if I had known.
I honestly thought that Thompson was his father.
“I have to be honest with you about something. You know how people who cheat always say it just happened. Well, I am not going to do that. I am going to own up to my own selfishness. The minute I found out she was free, I knew we were going to be together. I don’t say that to hurt you.”
“You were right when you said I should have fought harder for her. I didn’t, and now I’ve hurt all of you. I hate that. I meant what I said the other day. I do love you, but more like a sister, not a wife.”
“Again, I am so, so sorry. I am so disgusted with myself. It has been a hell of a hard pill to swallow that I am not the person I thought I was. I wanted to be that good, faithful husband. I was for so long. But when it comes to her, I have no control. She is my everything, and if it destroys everything I have built to be with her, it will be worth it. She is that important to me. Her and Ben.”
“You may not believe this, but other than that day, we have not been together at all since Ben was conceived.
We just got carried away in the library.
We both feel horrible about how all of this is playing out.
I should have been upfront with you about my feelings the minute I realized I was still in love with her. "
Though she appreciated Bennett‘s willingness to be vulnerable and take responsibility for his part in this, the conversation was just too much. Taking a deep breath, she said calmly, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I have no desire to discuss your relationship with Poppy.”
"I respect that," said Bennett.
"I am trying to be glad that you have found someone to love.
Regarding bad choices, I've made a few of my own lately.
We all do, but we can't beat ourselves up too much.
The best any of us can do is to own up to our mistakes, figure out why we did what we did, and then work like everything to never do it again. "
For a second after Taylor stopped talking, Bennett didn't say a word.
When he did, he said, "You're right, and I appreciate you saying that.
I am not used to you being so deep and serious.
Want to tell me how you got to this point?
We don't have to go into all of it now, but when you are ready, I have much to share.
Now, about some of those choices you've been making?
Anything I could help with?" Bennett was back to being Bennett, the big brother who wanted to take over and fix everyone's problems.
Taylor hated that he knew her so well that he could hear her struggles in her voice.
Not wanting to go into the last few days' events, she said, "No, thanks. Anyway, back to the original reason I called. I plan to stay here until the election is over unless you need me for something before then. I had considered getting a teaching job in the fall, but I may stay here and help at the relief station. Can you cover up my being gone?”
"I can if you are sure that is how you want to do this."
"It is."
"Okay, fine, I will get Joules to start putting together a cover story for your absence. I'll call you later this week to check on you. If you need anything, call."
"Okay, sounds good. Take care, and I will talk to you soon."
After they hung up, Taylor lay back in bed, pretty pleased with herself. She was finally taking the first steps toward being an independent woman. She was starting a new life in a new city and had just laid the groundwork to help her untangle her marriage.
Of course, she had a lot of help, but at least she was doing this on her own.
She was proud of herself. Whether it was right or not, Taylor went to sleep that night thinking about Greer and wondering if he was thinking about her.
He said the ball was in her court. She was committed to not pursuing him in person until she was truly single, but that did not stop her from thinking about him all night.
Over the next couple of weeks, Taylor settled into her life.
She got up every morning and went for a run.
The complex she lived in had a fantastic gym and running track that she used almost daily.
She would come back, have a light lunch, and then drive across Miami to the children's aid relief station located north of the city near Lake Worth.
She would spend several hours each weekday tutoring students in reading and math. And she loved every minute of it.
Most nights, she and Joules would touch base and have a short visit.
While they talked, Taylor noticed that Joules was always careful not to say anything personal about Bennett.
Poppy and Ben were never discussed. That was fine by Taylor.
She had enough to worry about rebuilding her life in a new city.
For the most part, everything in Taylor's life was calming down.
She was working hard to develop a routine and a sense of normalcy.
However, one nagging little issue still plagued her that needed addressing.
She had promised Joules she would go and be tested after her night with Greer.
Almost every night, Joules would bring it up.
Taylor forced herself to find a clinic and get tested.
Once it was over and Taylor had been cleared, she vowed never to put herself in that position again.
With that little detail dealt with, Taylor was now free to begin her life anew.
On the weekends, she tried to rest. Taylor wasn't sure if it was the heat or the humidity, but many days, she found that she was so tired by the end of the day that she could barely keep her eyes open.
She would grab a salad from the fresh market on the way home each night because she was too exhausted to cook.
Most nights, she fell asleep watching television or reading by 9:00.
Her life was very simple, but she was enjoying it.
Joules flew down for a visit the fourth weekend she was there, a rare occurrence during a campaign. And one that Joules would have never allowed herself if Bennett had not insisted someone had to go to Miami to check on Taylor.
Joules noted several changes in her friend.
The first was that she was much more independent.
In the past, Taylor would have been up, fussing around, trying to wait on her and being the perfect hostess.
Now, Taylor was much more relaxed and comfortable in her own skin.
She had a new air of confidence that Joules had never seen.
They explored the city. They went to museums and fancy restaurants.
They even took in a show. It was quite good, but Taylor only saw half of it as she fell asleep about halfway through it.
Joules teased her about her need to sleep and joked that she was becoming narcoleptic.
Privately, Joules worried that Taylor was still doing too much.
She had never seen Taylor so lethargic. Whenever she had a chance, she would lie down and be out for a nap in two seconds flat.
When Joules asked Taylor about this, Taylor blamed it on the heat, and Joules could not deny it was blistering hot.
Joules left three days later feeling good about where Taylor was in her life.
Joules realized that Taylor's decision to come to Miami had been the right one.