Chapter eight #2
But do I really want more than that from him? And can that happen without jeopardizing everything else?
***
By the time I got back to the inventory sheets, I decided to wait to speak to Penn about his secret until he came by tonight to install the new floors.
That way, I had plenty of time to decide on how I wanted to broach the topic with him.
But the more I thought about it, the more it sank in that he kept something that significant from me, and the more hurt I felt.
And here’s the thing—we’re not in a relationship. Hell, I can’t even tell you the last time the man went on a date. I technically have no right to be upset that he chose not to share his new venture with me.
But I am.
And he’s going to hear how I feel about it before the night is over.
Maybe it’s the stress of this week. Maybe I’m about to start my period.
Or maybe I’m so sexually and mentally frustrated by the man that I’m about to explode, but when he knocks on the back door to the bakery just after six, I swing the door open and glare at him while simultaneously fighting tears back.
“Uh. Is everything okay?” he asks, staring down at me timidly.
“No, Penn. Everything is not okay.” I let the door go, not bothering to hold it open for him as I walk away, striding back to the kitchen where I still have an order of a few dozen cupcakes I need to put frosting on for a birthday party tomorrow.
The door slams shut and then I hear his tool bag hit the floor behind me, but I don’t look back as I reach for the bag of frosting to start piping it onto cupcakes again.
My chest feels like it’s cracking into pieces, my jaw is clenched tight, and my hands are shaking from the adrenaline racing through me.
“Care to tell me what the hell is wrong then? Because if I’m reading the room correctly, it seems like you’re pissed off at me.”
Spinning around, I stare at him. “Maybe you’re not a complete dumbass after all, then.”
Penn’s brows pinch together. “A dumbass?”
“Yeah, a dumbass. A big, tall, muscular dumbass.”
One of his brows lifts and he eyes me cautiously. “Okay…”
“I can’t believe you!” My voice cracks as I toss the bag full of frosting onto the metal counter and throw both of my hands in the air.
“What the fuck did I do, Astrid?” he asks, his voice uncertain.
“I mean, shit. I just got here and you’re already fucking pissed at me.
Am I late?” He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and then shakes his head.
“By three minutes? Is that the problem? I’m fucking three minutes late? ”
“No!” My hands cover the center of my chest. “The problem is you never told me!”
“Told you what?”
“About the house!”
“What house?”
“The one you bought to turn into a rental!” Realization dawns on his face as his features drop and his spine straightens.
Both of our chests are rising and falling with labored breaths as we stare at one another, the tension rising in the room.
After a few moments, he says in a low growl, “How did you find out about that?”
“Do you think I’m stupid? That I wouldn’t find out? In this town?”
“Not at all.” And then it hits him. “Bentley told you, huh?”
“No. It was Pam. Bentley didn’t even know where you took him last night, Penn.
I asked him and he said you never said anything about the house.
But Pam came into the bakery today and mentioned it casually because she assumed you would have told me.
Since we’re so close.” Shaking my head, I point a finger to my chest. “Me! The person you tell everything to!” Tears fill my eyes now. “But I guess you don’t…”
Penn tilts his head at me, confused. “I was going to, Astrid. I was just waiting for the right time.” He runs his hand through his hair in frustration and huffs out, “But it’s never the right fucking time.”
“The right time? Why? Why not just tell me when you bought it? Why wouldn’t you let me celebrate that with you?”
He swallows roughly. “I…”
“I just can’t believe you didn’t trust me with this. What you’re doing for yourself…it’s huge, Penn. It’s amazing and brave and…”
“Why are you so mad that I didn’t tell you?” he asks, cutting me off.
His question catches me off guard. “What?”
He moves a step closer. “Why are you so hurt? I know for a fact there are things you keep close to the vest, so why am I the bad guy?”
I stare up at him, watching his eyes bounce between mine. He smells fresh from the shower, which doesn’t make sense because I know he’s about to get dirty tearing up the floors of my bakery. But his scent—it’s intoxicating—masculine, rugged, and drugging me, pulling me closer to him on instinct.
“I asked you a question, Astrid.”
“I…I thought we were better friends than that, Penn,” I manage to say through the emotion and arousal coursing through me simultaneously.
Penn huffs out a laugh. “Friends? That’s why you’re pissed?
Because I’m your friend who didn’t tell you that I bought a house to fix up and try to rent out?
That I’ve had a business plan for rental properties and my own contracting business for years and have been too chicken shit to pull the trigger on it?
” My mouth falls open slightly. “Or is it really because I’m your friend, but you and I both know there’s something more between us that we’re both too afraid to fucking do anything about? ”
My heart and stomach plummet at the same time. “What are you talking about?” I whisper.
Penn stands so close to me now that I can feel his breath on my lips. He’s so much taller than me, but he’s leaning down so close to my face that I can see every eyelash framing his dark, hypnotizing eyes. “Tell me why you didn’t go out with Dick last night.”
His question stuns me for a moment. “Because Bentley needed me.”
“No, that’s an excuse. Tell me why you never wanted to go out with Dick in the first place.”
“I…”
“Tell me that you’ve never wanted him because it’s me you’ve wanted all this time.”
The floor feels like it’s falling out from underneath me. My brain is malfunctioning, tripping over itself because I’m having trouble processing that Penn is saying these words to me right now.
What the hell is happening?
“I’ll tell you what you and I both know, Astrid.
” He swallows roughly and then bends his knees so our eyes are at the same level.
“That kiss three years ago wasn’t just a drunken mistake.
It wasn’t just a fluke.” He shakes his head as his eyes dip down to my lips for a beat and then back up.
“And I’m tired of pretending that it was. ”
“Penn…”
He inhales deeply, looks down at my lips again, and then mutters, “Fuck it.”
And then his lips are on mine.
It’s dizzying how intense the kiss is, especially since it’s just our lips touching. But it’s not just our mouths that are tripping my balance. It’s Penn’s calloused hands moving under my shirt and up my back as he pulls me into his chest. It’s the way his arms feel wrapped around me.
And it’s the way when our tongues do collide, every nerve ending in my body comes alive, a euphoric pleasure coursing through me that is unparalleled.
Penn lifts me up and sits me on the metal counter, shoving cupcakes and utensils to the side. Luckily nothing falls, but at this point, I wouldn’t fucking care.
“Tell me that you want this,” he growls against my lips. “Tell me that you’ve thought about this as much as I have.”
“Yes,” I reply instantly because the filter is gone. It left long before we ever got to this point and I’m tired of feeling like I’m wearing a muzzle.
My mind is telling me this is moving too fast, but then Penn lifts the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head, revealing my chest to him. His fingers trace the edges of my bra, and I instantly wish I had on something sexier.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting this…and my body…”
He presses a finger to my lips. “Don’t you fucking dare.
” He licks his lips and then traces his fingers over every inch of my arms, chest, and even the soft flesh of my stomach that’s covered in stretch marks while his eyes follow the path of his fingers.
Then he buries his fingers in the hair at my neck, and he’s pulling my head back, exposing my neck to him so he can lick, kiss, and tease the sensitive flesh there.
It never crossed my mind that Penn would be seeing me like this, even though I fantasized about it so many times. But now that it’s happening for real, I’m suddenly very aware there’s only one other man that’s seen me naked.
But I don’t want to think about that right now.
“You are so goddamn perfect, Astrid.” He takes my hand and places it over the rock-hard erection in his jeans, shocking me but lighting my need for him on fire.
“Do you feel this? This is what I’ve been fighting for years.
I want you so fucking badly that I can barely think straight.
But right now, the last thing we need to be doing is fucking thinking.
I’m tired of it.” He cups the side of my face.
“And I’m tired of waiting for the right time. Tonight I’m going to take what I want.”
My mind says we’re crazy, but my body—she is so fucking ready to feel everything Penn has to offer.
“And I’m not going to stop unless you tell me to.”
“Penn…”
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, jutting his cock into my hands and drawing his fingers down the side of my neck simultaneously.
“No,” I answer without hesitation because if he stops, I just might die.
The deep gravel of his voice vibrates down my spine as he says, “Thank fuck,” and then he presses his lips to mine again, leaning over me as I wrap my legs around his waist and lie back against the cold metal table.
I shiver as I run my fingernails under his shirt, the chill of the metal biting into my skin. Penn breaks our lips apart and kisses a trail down my neck, along my collarbone, and over the swell of my breasts. “God, you always smell like fucking sugar.”
“Perks of the job.”