Chapter seven #2
“Because she’s pregnant! That’s the reason!” She throws her hands up in the air. “You can’t be mad at a pregnant woman. It’s a rule. Her mind is not her own, and neither is her body. Hormones make you do crazy shit.”
“But…”
She holds up her palm to stop me. “No. I get it. She left and didn’t say anything, but I’m sure she had a reason. Hell, she lived in another state at the time. Adults can have sex and it mean nothing more.”
“But it meant something to me, Astrid,” I admit, my voice low. I think the part that’s getting to me the most is that there are feelings involved, at least on my end. I felt it that night and every day after she left me without a backward glance.
Her face instantly softens, and for a second, I think she’s back on my team. “I can tell, but that doesn’t sound like that’s what she wants.”
“I don’t know what the hell she wants,” I say, growing more irritated. I want to talk to her, but at the same time, I’m still pissed at her. “She ran off and… fuck.” I stand from the bed and start pacing. “I have so many fucking questions. My life is about to completely change.”
My sister smiles. “I know.”
“Why are you smiling? Are you enjoying watching me spin out of control here?”
She joins me on the other side of the room, gripping my arms so I stop moving.
“I’m smiling because my brother is about to be a dad, which means I’m going to be an aunt.
And you’re going to be an amazing dad, Grady.
” She cups my jaw. “You’re the best uncle, you’re great with kids, and when it’s your own child, I promise it’s even better. ”
“How do you know that? I haven’t even had a fucking long-term relationship, Astrid, and I’m almost thirty-six.” Sweat beads at my temples as my stomach churns. “I have no idea how this is supposed to work, and I...”
“You need to talk to Scottie.”
“I don’t even have her fucking phone number. She left before I could ask her for it, for the second time.”
“Then get it.” She taps the side of my head. “You’re not stupid. You should have some idea of how to find her.”
Blowing out a breath, I admit what I’m really feeling.
“I never imagined this would be how I had a kid, Astrid. I always envisioned that if I had a shot at being married and having a family, it would be mornings waking up next to my wife, waiting with her as she took a pregnancy test, being excited and knowing that starting a family was what we both wanted. And at this point, I was starting to accept that a life like that wasn’t in the cards for me. ”
She raises her eyebrows and walks away from me. “Yeah, well, life doesn’t always work out the way we think it will, Grady.”
My sister sure as hell knows what it’s like to have your world flipped upside down, but this? This is new territory for me. The last time my world spun out of control was when I could no longer play baseball for a living. But back then, the only person I had to worry about was myself.
Now, it’s not just me that’s affected by this. It’s Scottie and Chase. It’s both of our families.
And this woman—seeing her again made me realize how fucking lonely I’ve been. My sister has been pushing me to date for months, but I knew it was a lost cause. Single women in town hit on me all the time, but they all want me for the wrong reasons.
Scottie, though, she really knows me. She knew me before baseball became my job, before I became this grumpy mechanic who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing with his life.
She’s different. She always has been, and now she’s having my baby.
But I want more. I want her.
“I want a family, Astrid,” I say, breaking the silence.
Spinning around to face me, she clarifies, “What?”
“I want more than just weekend visits. I want what you and Penn have.” I gesture to the other side of the house where Penn is holding the party together while we talk.
Smirking, she crosses her arms over her chest. “Weren’t you just telling me a few months ago when I suggested you start dating that you were better off alone? That you didn’t think that life was meant for you?”
“Yeah, but…”
“So now because Scottie is pregnant, you want that? Are you sure, Grady?” Her face grows serious. “Because as a single mom, I’m going to tell you that the last thing that woman needs is some man who thinks he knows what he wants but is going to change his mind down the line.”
Shit. She’s right. I need to make sure I can be the man she needs, the father and partner that she deserves before I commit to this one hundred percent—because when I commit to something, I go all in, and Scottie can’t have any doubts about how I feel.
“Be really freaking sure that you are ready for everything having a family entails, Grady, because if not, at least you can both go in knowing where you stand.” And then she narrows her eyes at me. “If it was any other woman, would you feel the same way?”
“Like what?”
“Wanting a family, trying to be in a relationship with the mother of your child?”
I shake my head instantly. “No.” And I can say that with certainty.
“You care about her,” Astrid declares, and I nod. “I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice.”
“There was always something there, even back in high school, but I never let myself go there. I had baseball to focus on and Scottie was the same way about softball. But I liked her. I always did.”
“And now?”
“Now we’re having a baby, and that night wasn’t just a fluke. I wanted more, but she left before I could talk to her about it.” I brush a hand through my hair. “She fucking flipped my world upside down…”
Astrid folds her lips in as she smiles. “Oh my God, my brother is in love and he’s having a baby!”
Rolling my eyes, I watch as she jumps up and down with excitement.
“Relax. I have to talk to her first, remember. But fuck, Astrid…” Shaking my head, I continue, “If I don’t try to at least make this work, if I don’t take this as a sign that life has a way of pointing you in the right direction if you pay attention, then I’ll regret it.
I know there’s a ton of shit to work out, but I owe it to myself, and to this child, to try. ”
My sister pulls me into a hug. “You do. My big brother is all grown up,” she teases as we squeeze each other.
“I’m going to need you to get through this.” It’s at this moment that I realize my hands are shaking as Astrid holds me closer.
“I’ll always be here, Grady. I love you and I promise, you will get through this.”
“Love you too, sis.”
She pats me on the back and releases me before saying, “Now go figure out what your future looks like before this baby gets here. You might think you have all the time in the world, but believe me, it goes by faster than you think.”