Chapter fifteen Grady #2
“I’m ready for that.” Clearing my throat, I take my hand back and continue asking her questions. “Do you plan on nursing?”
“Yes. I didn’t do it for very long with Chase, but I would like to try this time. If we use formula, I’m okay with that too.”
“Selfishly, I want to be able to feed the baby as well, so whatever you decide I’ll go along with.”
“This is your kid too, Grady.”
“I want my kid to be fed, Scottie. I don’t care what that looks like, honestly.”
“Okay. What else?”
“How do you feel about co-sleeping?”
“Jesus, you really did read all of those books, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Scottie. Now answer the question.”
“How about you tell me what you think about it?” she counters, putting the pressure on me.
“Honestly, I’m a little afraid of rolling over and squishing my kid. I know it can make things easier in the beginning, especially for nursing in the middle of the night, but a bassinet on the side of the bed might be easier and safer.”
“You make it sound like we’ll be sleeping in the same bed, Grady.”
“Do you think I’m going to leave you alone in the beginning, Scottie?” I say, refraining from just telling her that this will happen, she just doesn’t realize it yet. Sadly, I think this woman has forgotten how dedicated I can be to something that’s important to me—and now that’s her.
“I mean…”
“We need to figure out our living situation still,” I say, not letting her finish. “I don’t want to miss out on stuff, and if we were in the same house, it would be much easier for me to be involved.”
“That’s a big decision, Grady,” she replies, her voice shaky.
“I know, but it’s important to me. If there is one thing I want, Scottie, it’s that.”
There. Now I can use her insistence that I have a say to my advantage.
“We don’t have to decide anything now, but I obviously have more room at my place—for you, Chase, and the baby.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she whispers.
Casting a glance at her briefly, I say, “Why? Afraid it would be too hard to resist me then?”
She blinks and then hits me with a reply that tells me tonight could change everything. “Yeah, I think it would.”
***
“Twelve diapers in a day?” I pop a piece of pizza crust in my mouth, trying to rein in my shock.
“Yup.” Scottie points her own crust at me from across the table. “Especially in the beginning. And don’t be surprised if you’re peed and pooped on by your kid. It’s going to happen.”
“How many times can I expect to be woken up in the middle of the night?”
Scottie grins. “You sure you want me to answer that question?”
I wince. “How bad can it get?”
“Well, there was a three-night stretch where Chase screamed from eleven at night to four in the morning for no reason. I swear, I tried everything to get him to calm down, but nothing worked. I felt like the worst mother on the planet because I couldn’t calm my baby, but it’s very normal for babies in the beginning to cry like that. ”
“Where was your ex?”
Scottie scoffs. “Andrew was in our room complaining about how loud the baby was, but never once offered to help soothe him.”
Fury races through my chest. “Don’t take this wrong, but every time you talk about your ex, it makes me want to throat punch him.”
She grins, so at least I know she still doesn’t harbor feelings for the guy. “Believe me, I want to too.”
I feel like the moment to push is here, but at the same time, I don’t want to ruin our night.
We pulled in to St. Paul less than an hour ago, and the only options for food around our hotel were barbecue and pizza.
Scottie chose pizza, so here we are, sitting in a booth in a mom-and-pop restaurant, talking about parenthood like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
But I want to know more. I need to know why this woman is so hell-bent on keeping me at arm’s length. So, risking turning this evening sour, I decide that now is the opportunity to get her to open up.
“Why did you marry him, Scottie?”
My question catches her off guard. “Excuse me?”
Leaning forward in my seat, I clasp my hands in front of me and look her square in the eye. “From what you’ve told me, the guy was a piece of shit. He didn’t care about you or Chase, so I want to know. Why did you marry him?”
Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine for so long, I think she might run out of the restaurant to avoid answering the question. But then she takes a deep breath, blows it out, and starts talking.
“Andrew and I got married a few months before Chase was born. I did what I thought I was supposed to do—marry the man I was having a kid with and give us a shot at being a family. We were in love, or so I thought, and the last thing I wanted to believe was that my life would amount to nothing because it didn’t go according to my plan.
Softball wasn’t an option anymore, so I decided to give all my time and energy to my family.
I always wanted kids, I just didn’t think it would happen that soon.
” I nod, urging her to continue. “But very soon after our wedding, I realized the man I thought I knew wasn’t him at all.
Andrew never was a doting father. He didn’t help or spend a ton of time with Chase.
As Chase got older and could play sports, I thought maybe that would change.
And it did for a while, but then Andrew started missing practices and games.
He would come home late, and many nights I would soothe my crying child to sleep because he missed his dad, wanted his dad there, but he never was. ”
She stares down at her lap for a beat until she pops her head up, straightens her spine, and the fierceness I’ve always known her to possess comes back into her eyes.
“I was feeling sorry for myself, accepted my fate, until one day, I thought about the example I was setting for my son. I was showing him it was okay to accept less than what he and I both deserved, and that’s when I knew we had to get out.
I was teaching but knew I could make more money as an administrator so I pursued that, and while I did, I made plans to leave him. ”
My throat grows tighter as I wait for her to continue.
“Andrew controlled our finances, but he didn’t share anything with me, so I started putting my own money aside, and waited until I knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold financial security over my head.
He works for a very wealthy law firm down in Georgia and was working on being named the next District Attorney in our county.
A divorce would look bad for him, but I didn’t care, especially after the strip club incident.
We divorced two years ago, but he continued to hurt Chase. So, we left.”
“How did he react?”
Her gaze drops to the table. “I don’t know.”
My pulse spikes at her response. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
As if on cue, her phone starts vibrating across the table, Andrew’s name flashing on the screen.
She lets it go until the call ends and looks back up at me.
“Andrew doesn’t know that Chase and I left.
At least, he didn’t at first… But I’ve been getting more phone calls from him lately, so I think he may have figured it out. ”
“Fuck, Scottie.” I grind my teeth together, feeling as if things make much more sense now, but also that there is even more to figure out. “You took his kid to another state without telling him?”
She tilts her head, and her voice is firm as she says, “The last time Chase saw his father was almost a year ago, Grady. The last time they even spoke was two months before we moved. My son doesn’t deserve that.
He deserves someone who values him and is invested in his life.
” Sighing, she continues, “If Andrew’s been by the old house, he knows we’re gone, but I refuse to live in fear of what he might do.
I’ve spent too long basing my decisions on that man, and I owe Chase a better life than that. ”
“Legally though, he still has rights.”
She stiffens, narrowing her eyes. “I’m aware of that, but if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll relinquish them. Chase is old enough to have a say in court, and I have proof of Andrew’s extracurricular activities at the strip clubs that can always come out if need be.”
“Why didn’t you bring that up when you two divorced? Terminating his rights?”
“Because I wanted to believe he would value what little time he’d get with his son, but I should have known better than to think that even a divorce would change him.”
I take a long sip from my beer, processing all this new information. “Do you think that’s enough to keep him away? Or make him agree to give up his rights?”
“I don’t know, but I was willing to take the risk when we left.”
“Do you think he could be looking for you in Carrington Cove?”
“Maybe, but that would mean leaving his life down in Georgia, and that man cares about no one but himself.”
I brush a hand through my hair, eyes fixed on the woman across from me. “God, Scottie.” My mind is racing with so many thoughts, but the one that prevails is the one I choose to voice. “You’re so fucking strong—do you know that?”
Her brows draw together. “Not sure strong is the word I’d use, Grady. I put up with too much shit for too many years…”
I reach across the table for her hands, clasping them in mine and intertwining our fingers.
“But you left. You planned, made sacrifices, and took risks for your son.” Shaking my head, I continue, “You’re exactly the mother Chase needs, and I couldn’t ask for a better mother of my child. You’re fucking amazing.”
Tears form in her eyes. “I don’t feel amazing.”
“How do you feel?” I say, lowering my voice so only she can hear it.
“Scared, Grady. So scared of repeating my mistakes.”
“The only way that happens is if you trust the wrong people.” I take her hand and place it over my heart. “Do you feel like you can trust me?”
She swallows hard, her voice a whisper. “I want to.”
“I can work with that, Scottie. That means we’re already halfway where we need to be.”
***