Chapter eighteen Scottie
Chapter eighteen
Scottie
“How was your trip?” Astrid asks as we walk through the baby boutique on the boardwalk that frames Carrington Cove.
The reflection of the sunset off the water is breathtaking as I admire the view from inside the store.
It’s Wednesday night and Chase is at Grady’s working on the Nova, so I figured it was the best time to meet up with Astrid and knock an item off my to-do list—registering for my baby shower.
Plus, I feel like I need someone to talk to about how I’m feeling, and Astrid is the first person that came to mind.
“Hello? Earth to Scottie.” She waves her hand in front of my face, breaking through my stare.
“Sorry.”
Her grin is assuming. “That good, huh?”
“If you’re implying what I think you are, that makes this conversation even more awkward.”
Astrid laughs. “Look. I know my brother has sex, all right? I mean, you are pregnant with his child.” She nudges my shoulder jokingly. “Grady has only told me that things went well, and I’m dying to know if that means you took anything that we talked about to heart.”
Sighing, I pick up a beautiful gray and teal blanket from the shelf, smoothing over the soft fabric with my hand while avoiding her eyes. “I did, and I’m…” I turn to look at her now. “I asked him to do something for me that only he can, and he delivered…multiple times.”
Astrid folds her lips in, trying to stifle her squeals. “Oh. My. God…”
I set the blanket back down and begin to walk away from her. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
She scurries after me to keep up. “Um, yes it is. This is huge. And, selfishly, I’m so happy that you’re trying to move forward, Scottie.”
Spinning to face her now, I say, “I’m terrified, but I can’t deny what’s there, Astrid. Your brother is the type of man you don’t let go of, and…” I glance around the shop, making sure there’s no one to overhear us. “I’m so horny.”
She chuckles. “Oh, yeah. I remember those days during the second trimester. Brandon was on deployment during my second pregnancy, so my vibrator became my best friend.”
“Well, I think mine is about to break.” We share a laugh.
“But of course, it’s more than just about sex,” I say, sighing wistfully, thinking back to how this man has cared for me since he found out he was going to be a father, and how dedicated he has been to building a relationship with my son as well.
Tears form in my eyes before I know it, and then Astrid’s smile falls.
“Oh no. What’s wrong?”
I wave my hands in front of my face. “I can’t even tell you what’s wrong.
I have no control over my emotions right now, and I hate it.
” Pulling a tissue from my purse, I dab under my eyes.
“My feelings are all over the place, my body hurts every day as this little girl grows, and I’m feeling overwhelmed just being in this store right now.
” My eyes move all over the shelves full of baby products, many of which I’m completely unfamiliar with because it’s been so long since I’ve needed any of this stuff.
Astrid rubs my shoulders and pulls me into her side. “Everything is going to work out, Scottie. There’s no reason to stress. You have a support system this time. Your family is here, Grady is fully committed, and I’m here for anything you need.”
I hand her the scanner for the baby registry, which is the whole point of this visit anyway. “Can you just start scanning things, please?”
Keeping her arm around me, she guides me down the aisles as I gather myself. “Of course. You gonna be okay?”
Stuttering through a shaky breath, I reply, “Yeah.”
The beep of the scanner is the only sound for a few minutes until Astrid breaks our silence, releasing me from her embrace. “I don’t want to upset you again, but I have to ask you one more thing.”
“All right.”
“Did you tell my brother about Andrew? Like…all of it?”
I nod. “Yes. He knows everything now.”
“And how did he react?”
I think about that night at the pizza parlor, how Grady actively listened as I told him my story, and the words he said to me once I revealed the whole reason and circumstances surrounding my return to Carrington Cove.
“You’re exactly the mother Chase needs, and I couldn’t ask for a better mother of my child. You’re fucking amazing.”
“He told me I am strong and brave. That I am a good mom….”
Astrid beams with pride for her brother. “Sounds like he’s a smarter man than I thought.”
I take a few steps before something I’ve been thinking about comes out.
“How come as women and mothers we constantly feel inadequate? Like our life choices have stronger consequences because we have others that rely on us so much? That one wrong move can scar our kids, our partners, or ourselves for life?”
Astrid hums. “I often wonder that myself. But I also know what a blessing it is to be given the responsibility of being a mother.” She scans the store before turning to face me.
“The fact that you care so much is a testament not just to the woman and mother you are, Scottie, but to the one you’re continually growing into.
No one is perfect, but part of life is learning and growing from our imperfections. It took me a long time to accept that.”
“I feel like I should have things figured out by now. Like, I’m old enough to know better, and do better. You know?”
She reaches forward and places her hand on my shoulder.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last year, it’s that everybody grows differently, and I think our environment has a lot to do with that.
Carrington Cove might just be the climate you needed to break through the ground you’ve been buried under, the shield you’ve been using to protect yourself.
This baby girl is already so loved, so wanted.
And Grady clearly wants you too. I’d say, that’s already a promising start to a new journey this time around. ”
Smiling, I blink away my tears. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. Take this one day at a time, okay? Let the people here love you, protect you, and help you through this new, exciting phase of your life. And remember, sometimes you have to fall to learn how to pick yourself back up and do things differently. You just might find it’s even better the second time around. ”
***
“God, right there.” The water cascades down my back as Grady keeps fucking me from behind in the shower.
Chase spent the night at Jeremy’s house, one of the boys on the team, so naturally, Grady and I decided to take advantage of not having him here. Although, before my son left, I told him that if I got a call from the cops tonight, I’d take him to juvenile hall myself.
“I wish you could see yourself right now, Scottie,” Grady growls in my ear, thrusting harder as he wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to his chest. “So fucking beautiful, so perfect, taking my cock like it was made for you, sucking me in and milking me.”
My moans echo off the shower walls as Grady’s other hand travels over my stomach and down to my clit, rubbing soft circles around the bundle of nerves, helping me get to the finish line faster.
“You have no idea what you do to me, how hard you fucking make me,” he says, lining his lips up to my ear before biting down on the skin of my neck as my heart twists in my chest at those words.
“Grady…”
“Come on my cock, Scottie. Shatter for me.” And that’s all he needs to say before I splinter, shaking as I fight to keep standing. Grady keeps thrusting, letting me fall forward as I brace myself on the shower wall and he fucks me hard and deep, chasing his own release.
“Jesus fuck,” he groans before he stills and lets out a heavy sigh.
“So good,” I mumble as he spins me around and pulls me close to his chest—well, as close as I can get due to the growing belly between us.
Our daughter kicks me hard in the ribs, making me wince.
“You okay?” he asks, brushing my wet hair from my face as the water continues to fall down against his back.
“Yeah. The baby just kicked me. I don’t think she liked being rattled around.”
Grady plants a chaste kiss on my lips. “Well, let’s finish getting cleaned up then so you can relax. Lord knows it’s been a long week, and this next week will be even busier.”
“Are you ready for the season to end?” I ask him as he slathers my body with soap and runs his hands all over my skin. I just came, but the feel of his hands on me is making me want to fuck him again.
God, I’m a heathen. I think I’m starting to understand how people become sex addicts.
“Yes and no. It’s definitely been exhausting since I’m not used to having that type of schedule. But I’ve really loved every fucking minute of it, Scottie. Our last game is this week and it feels bittersweet.” He cups the side of my face. “Thank you for making me see what I didn’t want to.”
“I’m glad you found a piece of baseball to keep in your life. You seem happier.”
With a stoic look on his face, he says, “It’s not just baseball that’s made me happier, Scottie.”
I brush off his words as I twist around to face the wall and gather myself before my heart explodes. With each passing day, I’m falling for him and imagining our life together, but neither of us has initiated that conversation, and it sure as hell isn’t going to come from me.
I barely feel like I’m finally starting to get the hang of this new normal where this man caters to me and fucks me anytime I ask, which is uncharacteristically often given my changing body and mood swings.
But part of me can’t help but wonder if sex is the only thing we have going for us right now.
Grady hasn’t brought up the baby’s room again since I squashed that conversation a few weeks ago, and honestly, I don’t know if he will after the way I acted.