Chapter thirteen Parker
Chapter thirteen
Parker
“Someone’s here early today.”
I look up from my desk to find Beth standing in the doorway of my office. I did come in about an hour ahead of schedule because I needed space from Cashlynn before I said or did something I couldn’t take back. That’s the last fucking thing I need right now.
“I couldn’t sleep, and I had some paperwork to get caught up on, so…” I shrug, averting my eyes back down to the file in front of me.
“You know, showing up early isn’t going to sway his decision.”
That catches my attention. I sit back, crossing my arms. “That’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh, I just assumed.”
“I mean, I can’t deny that I’m trying to prove myself, Beth. But honestly, I didn’t sleep well, like I said, and I needed to get out of my house.”
Her eyebrows raise from that remark. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. I’m just having a hard time adjusting to living with a woman,” I say with a laugh, which thankfully Beth takes as the joke I intended it to be.
“Ah, yes. There are always a few speed bumps when you start living with someone new, but you’ll adjust.”
Yeah, not so sure about that, especially when my new roommate wants me to have a permanent case of blue balls unless I do something about our growing sexual tension.
“We are, but it’s just been a lot of change recently, and I don’t handle change very well.”
Beth scoffs. “No man does, Parker. Especially Dr. O’Neil.”
Her mention of Robert makes my mind flash to the conversation I overheard a few weeks ago, so I seize the opportunity to ask about it. “Is everything okay with Robert?”
I can visibly see her swallow. “Yes, of course.”
“You sure? There’s not something going on health related that is making him consider retirement?”
“No, Parker. He’s fine, at least as far as I know. Why do you ask?”
“I just…” Do I tell her I heard their conversation? “I’m just concerned is all.”
Beth flashes me a smile that seems a little forced. “I’m sure if there were something going on, Cashlynn would be the one to ask, wouldn’t she?”
“Perhaps. But you know Robert. He’s stubborn. I could see him hiding a diagnosis from Cashlynn just so he didn’t have to argue with her about what he should do.”
She nods. “That sounds like him, but as far as I know, he’s in perfectly good health. In fact, his doctor said he’s looking great after his fall. ”
“Well, that’s good to hear.”
She smiles again before she starts to retreat. “Okay, dear. Well, I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Thanks, Beth. Let’s have a smooth day, shall we?”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s always the goal, Parker, but you and I both know how crazy this place can get.”
I nod, chuckling. “That’s true.”
“Honestly, once Robert retires, we may need to look into hiring another doctor, so neither you nor Seth have to be here all the time. That’s no way to have a life.”
I scoff. “This job is my life, Beth.”
“No, it was. Now you have Cashlynn, and your life together needs to be your new priority.” She arches a brow at me before leaving my office and putting me right back into the tailspin I was in last night as I was trying to find sleep.
Hearing Cashlynn on the phone with Hazel was eye-opening, and not just because it confirmed she wants more from me, but because it forced me to ask myself if I can be the man she deserves if I decide to pursue something more.
I’ve only been in two serious relationships in my life—one in high school and then Sasha.
But when I claim a woman as mine, I’m all in, and the thought of doing that again, putting myself out there like that and opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt again makes my stomach turn and my jaw hurt from clenching it.
Growing up, my father preached about being dedicated to a woman and led by example in the way he loved my mom.
When he returned from the Marines before I was born, I know he struggled mentally.
He’d seen and done things that no human should ever have to live with.
But my mom has always said that me being born is what saved him and their marriage.
And I never took that truth for granted.
I guess in some way, I felt a responsibility to live up to the example they set, to prove that I was grateful to them for working through their issues and being an example of what love really is—choosing to love someone through every good and bad thing in your life, dedicating yourself to growing and changing with another human right alongside of you.
But with Sasha, I failed.
I failed to make things work, and that disappointment has buried itself deep in my bones. I’ve walked around with it for years.
But can I let it go? Am I willing to try again? Can I learn from that and make better decisions moving forward?
Is Cashlynn the woman to take that risk with?
I don’t know—and it scares the ever-loving shit out of me.
I go back to my paperwork, still conflicted over how to approach this situation with Cashlynn, but by the time the practice opens, my focus is firmly on work. Today is surgery day, so I lead several spaying and neutering procedures, as well as dental cleanings and lump removals.
Around mid-afternoon, I walk back to my office to finish up some paperwork. Seth corners me inside, standing in my doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Can I help you, Dr. Brown?” I ask, not bothering to look up from my desk.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what exactly?”
“Lie and have no remorse about it.”
My head pops up to find him smugly smiling in my direction. “Excuse me?”
“People should be able to trust the doctors taking care of their pets.”
“Ha. That’s rich coming from you,” I reply, folding my arms over my chest and leaning back in my chair. “What are you implying, Seth?”
“That I wouldn’t trust a liar with my animals.”
My pulse spikes as I internally debate what he knows, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions or rat myself out in the process, so I opt for nonchalance. “And what exactly would I be lying about?”
He shrugs innocently. “Why don’t you tell Dr. O’Neil what his daughter is really doing here?”
My stomach drops, but I keep my expression neutral. “You already know the answer to that, Seth. We’re engaged.”
“Yeah, I’m not buying it, Parker.” He steps further into the room and closes the door behind him.
“I do have to admit your acting skills aren’t half bad, but something just doesn’t add up.
The timing of this was all very convenient, considering you knew Dr. O’Neil was going to retire soon.
I think you just wanted to give yourself an edge. ”
Slowly, I stand from my desk, resting my palms on the surface and leaning forward to look Seth dead in the eye.
“I don’t need an edge to beat you, Seth.
” His jaw clenches tighter. “Have you forgotten who’s been here longer?
Who has a higher success rate with surgeries?
Who gets better outcomes for our patients with cancer? ”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” he snaps.
“Dr. O’Neil doesn’t see it that way. And here’s the thing—you can have the practice, you can have the title, hell, you can have the damn corner office.
But you’ll never be the better doctor. Not because of the reasons I’ve already listed, and not because I’m smarter, which I am.
But because I fucking care about people and their pets. All you care about are dollar signs.”
He grinds his teeth together as he steps back. “I’m going to figure out what’s going on, Parker.”
“Have fun. Meanwhile, I’ll be focusing on what truly matters—my patients.”
Without another word, Seth stalks out of my office. As soon as I know he’s out of earshot I let out the breath I was holding.
I haven’t figured out what I want to say to Cashlynn about what I overheard yet, but this is something I absolutely have to talk to her about—because Seth could ruin the chances of either of us getting what we want.
***
When I walk through the front door after a tumultuous shift, I’m disappointed yet again to see that Cashlynn isn’t in the living room or kitchen, so I head to her room, but she’s not there either.
Her car is in the driveway, so she has to be here somewhere.
My frustration simmers as I look around, trying to figure out where she could be. Then it hits me—the garage.
Sure enough, I find her walking on the treadmill, her earbuds in and her laptop balanced on the small desk attachment.
“Cashlynn?”
She holds up a hand without looking at me and speaks aloud. “Sure, I think that’ll work. I like the blue, but it’s a little one dimensional. It needs more color.”
Since she’s preoccupied with a call, I head back inside to change out of my work clothes. By the time I return in red gym shorts and a plain black T-shirt, my frustration has only deepened.
“Are you done with your call?” I ask as I step back into the garage.
“Yeah, sorry about that. It was the branding manager I’ve been working with.”
“Isn’t it a little late on a Friday for business calls?”
She furrows her brow. “She had a doctor’s appointment earlier today and asked to reschedule. I was being accommodating.”
“Well, I need to talk to you.”
She glances back down at her computer. “I’m almost done with everything I need to do here. Can it wait?”
“No, it can’t.” My patience with this woman and our situation is razor-thin, and if I don’t get the Seth issue off my chest, I’m going to explode.
Cashlynn looks at me again, visibly irritated. “It’ll only take fifteen, twenty minutes tops, Parker. Can’t we—”
“I need to talk to you right now, Cashlynn.” My voice reverberates through the garage, signaling the urgency of the matter. It’s enough to make her pause, studying me for a beat before letting out a sigh.
“Fine,” she mutters, pressing stop on the treadmill. Once it slows down, she hops off and walks over to me wearing another sinful workout outfit. “This better be important.”
“It is,” I say sharply.
Her head rears back and her eyes narrow. “Why are you being an asshole right now?”