MERRITT
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Thankfully, Elliott talks Bennett’s head off the entire walk back home from trick-or-treating because I’m still trying to process the fact that I just kissed him. Again.
Still attempting to catch my breath and slow the frantic, traitorous beat of my heart.
The ugly, very-hard-for-me-to-admit truth is: I like kissing him.
So. Much.
Far, far too much.
Everything about it. The way my body feels pressed tightly against his, the way he tastes, the rough sounds he makes that show he’s enjoying it just as much as I am. The rough feel of his hands as they glide along my jaw, how firm and unyielding he is.
I know that I shouldn’t. Which is the reason that I keep telling myself I have to stop.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is not real.
Bennett had the chance once before to prove how much he actually did want me, and he ruined it.
But God, every time he kisses me, it’s like I forget everything. Literally, my brain just stops working.
I’m in serious, deep shit.
Because I want to do it again.
And again.
And again.
Only next time, I’d much rather be beneath him with nothing on and him putting his mouth somewhere else entirely.
I’m a woman with needs. Dire ones.
“Merritt… Earth to Merritt.”
I blink once and then again, pulling myself out of my thoughts. Elliott and Bennett are both standing there staring at me with confused expressions.
“What?”
Elliott glances at Bennett, then back at me with his eyes wide. “I said we’re home. Can you unlock the door?”
Oh.
Shit.
I didn’t even realize we’d made it home.
“Uh, yeah, sorry,” I mumble as I reach for the keys in the front pocket of my jeans. I don’t even need to look for confirmation; I can feel Bennett’s eyes on me as I do, and I’m sure he’s got that stupid, smug grin on his face.
I finally manage to get them out of my pocket and the door unlocked. I swing it open and step back so Elliott can go inside.
When I look at Bennett, he does, in fact, have that dumb grin, and I narrow my eyes, glaring at him.
“Shut up.”
He lifts his hands, palms up. “I didn’t say anything.”
Yeah, well, he doesn’t have to. He obviously has caught on to the fact that kissing him leaves me… dazed.
How silly is that?
“Bennett, you’re coming to the movie night, right? I can show you my setup,” Elliott says, pausing at the front door with his palm still curved around the knob. “Just wait until you see the new skins I just got in COD. Took me forever, but they’re so sick.”
My eyes widen. No way.
I shake my head, answering before Bennett can. “No, Ell, I think… he has plans tonight. It’ll just be you and I.”
“Movie night?” Bennett’s brows are bunched together.
“Yeah, it’s our tradition. We do it every Halloween. We see who can stay up the latest watching horror movies, and the loser has to cook breakfast. Spoiler alert, it’s never me,” Elliott says. “You have to come. You’re Merritt’s booooyfriend.”
“Elliott,” I warn, shooting him a look.
He shrugs. “What? He is.” His gaze slips from me back to Bennett. “It’ll be way more fun than your plans. C’mon, stay.”
My gaze connects with Bennett, who, of course, smiles and shrugs. “As long as your sister’s cool with it, I’m in.”
“Please, Mer. Pleaseeeee,” Elliott begs, his hands clasped together in front of him.
No.
Absolutely not.
I sigh. “Okay. But you have to take a shower because you smell like a gym sock.”
Elliott lifts his fist in the air in a pump.
“Yes!” But then he quickly lowers it and nods, feigning disinterest in that typical I’m super blasé, preteen boy kind of way when they feel they’re un-coolly excited about something.
“Sweet. I mean, kinda weird that I’m having to beg for your boyfriend to hang out, but whatever. ”
“Go shower,” I say in my firm I’m going to punch you in the next twelve seconds voice. “Before I change my mind.”
When he disappears through the front door, I turn back to look at Bennett leaning against the doorframe, his hands buried in the pockets of his gray sweatpants.
I swear he wore them just to annoy me.
And turn me on.
Both are happening at once.
“I don’t have to stay. If you want, I can leave,” he murmurs.
I’m torn between what I should do and what I want to do.
I drag in a shaky breath. “No, it’s okay, but I mean, I know you probably have things to do, so don’t feel obligated to stay. For Elliott, I mean.”
“Right. For Elliott.” Bennett’s lip curls into a smile that makes my pulse flutter. “Turns out I’m free, no plans at all, and I’m a big horror movie fan.”
“Okay, well, then, uh, just… come in,” I say as I step into the house and prop the door open.
I hold my breath as he brushes past me because I’m already desperately trying to forget the kiss that just happened, and he smells so fucking good. It’s intoxicating, and I’m already drunk on one of tonight’s bad decisions.
This is bad.
Bad. Bad. Bad.
I kick off my shoes in the foyer and then quickly shrug off my faux leather jacket, suddenly feeling sweat gathering at the base of my spine.
A startling contrast to how cold I was outside.
Bennett takes his shoes off beside mine, and it hits me how weird that is.
Seeing him wearing only the black socks on his feet.
Like intimate… somehow?
That seems so stupid to say after the man has had his tongue down my throat several times at this point, but it’s strange seeing him so casual.
I’m overthinking this, I know I am, but my brain is spinning, and I’m fixating on anything but the subject at hand, which is that Bennett is in my house.
Following me into the living room and sinking his thick body down onto my old brown leather couch like he’s been here a hundred times.
Like he’s comfortable here.
I settle in beside him, and Elliott sits to my left, sandwiching me in between the two of them.
Of course, Elliott doesn’t even make it through half of the first movie before passing out.
Which means we’ll be having half-cooked pancakes for breakfast that likely will still have raw batter in the middle.
The kid’s a genius with computers but hasn’t quite figured the stove out yet.
A door slams on the TV, and I feel Bennett jump beside me, his muscled body taut with tension.
I look over at him, laughing quietly. “Big fan of horror movies, huh?”
His gaze finds mine in the dimly lit room, and I watch a swallow move down his throat. “Yup.”
“Mhm. That’s why you’ve jumped like ten times.”
“Just caught me off guard… that’s all.”
Right. I chew the corner of my lip to stop the giggle that is bubbling in my chest.
Normally, I’d give him even more shit about the fact that he’s lying and enjoy that he’s having the shit scared out of him.
But it’s… kinda cute that he subjected himself to watching a horror movie because my little brother asked him to come tonight.
Sweet, even.
So he’s hot. Sweet. Funny. An unfortunately incredible kisser.
And now I’m starting to realize that I may be the asshole in how I judged him. There seems to be more to Bennett Legros.
“It’s okay, Legros. I won’t tell anyone that you’re actually a big…” I murmur, leaning my head against his shoulder and curling my arm around his, “fat scaredy-cat.”
I don’t let myself think about the fact that I’m cuddling up against him because then I’ll find a hundred reasons why I shouldn’t and talk myself out of it.
Instead, I just focus on how warm he is and how he gently lifts his arm and tucks it around me, pulling me into his side.
I focus on how heavy my eyes are and how comfortable I feel. On how my brain feels unusually quiet right now, listening to the sound of his breathing and the steady beat of his heart with Elliott snoring quietly on the other side of me.
Tomorrow, I can freak out about how utterly stupid it was to feel so safe with someone who’s been reckless with my emotions once before.
For right now, I’m giving myself a pass to let myself do something that just feels… good.
For once.