Chapter 27
Roles Review
T he stone streets of Junya were lined primarily with cherry trees, already budding with the progression of spring, though the plum trees sprinkled about were much closer to opening their flowers. The curved, peaked tile roofs were coated in a metallic paint that burned bronze under the sun and brightened the entire world. Whitewashed walls with thick wooden beams made up most of the homes Tam and his traveling companions could see from their carriage—though as they passed some of the more luxurious shops and homes, they noticed rounded, painted pillars of bright reds, greens, and blues. As musical chimes tinkled against the breezes, low stone garden walls revealed front yards where neighbors talked, shared tea, or sampled fermented foods and homemade liquors or wine.
It felt like a fantastical world out of a dream!
Luca watched the scenery with his jaw agape, his eyes round as he observed women dressed similarly to Eli with their beautiful and colorful silk skirts passing by.
“Do you notice the people wearing orange?” Jeong asked while smiling fondly at Luca’s reaction to one of the largest cities in Zinfera.
Luca blinked himself back to reality, then swept his eyes through the throng of people that flowed along the sides of the road.
“Yes?”
“Those people are important servants of lords. It gives them priority in shops so that they can conduct their business more quickly. If anyone is discovered wearing orange that is not employed with a noble house? They will be fined. And if they are doing it with the intent of preferential treatment—in other words, fraud—they could even be charged and jailed.”
Luca looked back at Jeong fearfully.
Tam leaned forward, arms crossed. He had slid to the middle of the bench in order to give Luca the better seat by the window. “Just don’t wear orange. You’ll be fine.”
Luca gulped.
“If you see any women wearing white like our lovely Eli here? That means they are either incredibly wealthy, or nobility. So be especially careful around them,” Jeong warned.
Luca looked even more stressed, so Tam interjected, “Most noblewomen will be traveling in carriages, so it won’t come up often.”
Jeong tilted his head from side to side. “Better to know these things early on.”
Tam sighed. Jeong wasn’t wrong, but he had been enjoying seeing his son’s excitement…
Bong jumped into the conversation, smiling at Luca. “In a month, there will be a blossom festival here in Junya. The streets fill with lanterns, performers, and vendors, there is dancing, and games… It’ll be wonderful fun.”
The boy nodded, but his face remained wary.
At least Jeong didn’t bring up any other warnings that would make Luca worry even more. They made a right turn around a particularly large ginkgo tree and ascended a quiet street. The beautiful homes here were not as ostentatious or massive as others they’d seen on their journey through the city. Here, the trees shaded the street and the yards were tidy. Best of all, there were only a couple of people milling about the road.
The carriage stopped, and Tam and Eli peered out with mutual curiosity. On either side of the narrow road were two lovely, traditional Zinferan-styled homes.
“That is where we will be staying.” Bong smiled and gestured with his chin out the window to his left. The steadfast driver who’d taken them through the desert without a word of complaint popped up to open the carriage door.
Luca sprang out immediately, followed by the rest of the carriage occupants, though they exited with more decorum—particularly Eli, who was handed down from the carriage by Tam. Another new normality in their lives that she had eventually stopped blushing over.
The house was a single floor, with a higher surrounding wall than most other homes on the street. Two large wooden doors to the courtyard had been propped open by two terra-cotta pots with fresh green sprouts pushing through their soil. There was a beautiful plum tree in the middle of the yard, and the house itself boasted a red roof and trusses, wooden walls, and sliding doors; a planked porch wrapped around the three sides of the home facing the courtyard. The charming, inviting house was framed by manicured gardens at the ends of the porch, with rain barrels and covered pots lined up efficiently along the side walls.
The travelers all stood together peering happily at their destination. Tam looked down at Luca. “What do you think?”
“It’s a strange-looking house, but… it’s where we get to live together, right… Dad?”
Tam felt his world stop and all the air squeezed from his lungs. “Yes. We will live here together.” Tam grasped Luca’s shoulder, and the boy wrapped his arms around Tam’s waist to hug him tightly.
Tam swallowed and felt a firm lump form in his throat. He felt happy beyond words.
Was that normal?
His own father had always said that being a parent was one of his greatest joys in life… but Tam had thought maybe the sentiment was only so potent thanks to Finlay Ashowan being a house witch.
A sniffle sounded beside Luca, where Jeong stood.
Everyone turned to see the man pulling a handkerchief from his pocket to dab teary eyes. “The pollen this time of year is quite… something.”
“As is the beautiful moment between Tam and his son,” Bong contributed helpfully.
Jeong’s shoulders began to quiver as he covered his mouth with his hankie to theoretically stop any blubbering sound he might start making.
Not wanting to make Luca feel awkward, the future duke turned to Eli. “Any thoughts on your end?”
However, when his gaze rested on his assistant, Tam found her staring toward the neighboring wall where two older women stood watching them. Realizing they’d been spotted, the women quickly huddled and continued to whisper to each other animatedly.
“We’ll have to be careful. This looks like a street filled with well-meaning, curious neighbors,” Eli informed her employer quietly.
Tam nodded. “We can use it to our advantage to establish ourselves… Anyway. Shall we go inside to unpack before finding some dinner? Perhaps we’ll even purchase some fresh tea for you.”
Eli perked up and hopefulness filled her eyes, making Tam smile.
Until Jeong blew his nose with a loud, prolonged honk.
“Right, in we go, everyone.” Tam herded Luca through the doors of their temporary home with his hands resting on his son’s shoulders.
Though Tam would soon have to handle the rather delicate matter of how and where he and Eli would be sleeping.
◆◆◆
As it turned out, the house was managed by a quiet older woman by the name of Haewon. She supervised one maid and a cook, whom Bong had hired for the duration of their stay.
Haewon had a kind, round face with a small chin and an age spot on her left cheek, but the manner with which she carried herself was elegantly beautiful. She wore her hair in a low bun with not a wisp out of place, but the prim hairstyle didn’t make her appear severe.
After Haewon showed Luca to his room and Bong and Jeong to theirs, she stopped at the final door, pulling it open to reveal a bed built low to the floor. “Your room, Mr. and Mrs. Voll.”
Tam didn’t know it was physically possible to instantaneously sweat as much as he did in that moment. Eli stood just in front of him, frozen. Haewon bowed her head, then excused herself.
“Godsdammit. I knew this would happen… I’ll sleep on the floor. There is a screen there we can put between—”
“If she comes into the room at night, or the maid does to light the candles, they’ll see. Just sleep in the bed.” Remarkably, Eli sounded perfectly calm.
She proceeded into the room. Their driver could be heard coming down the hall to deliver their luggage. Tam was left wondering if he was experiencing a second puberty, given how flustered he felt.
As the rest of their belongings were brought in, he managed to step inside to investigate with pointed interest a painting on the wall featuring a pond and pergola.
Once that task was finished, and the door with its paper covering slid shut, he turned back to his assistant, feeling as though all the blood in his body was rushing either to his face or southward. In their previous bedtime situation, Luca had been there in the tent, so things hadn’t felt so… intimate.
However, Eli apparently wanted to give her employer a heart attack, since when Tam laid eyes on her again, he found she was removing her shirt.
“Woah, wha—What? Pardon me—ah, sorry, what are you doing?” Tam shielded his eyes and looked away.
Eli blinked at him, the corners of her lips twitching. “My lord, pardon me saying this, but it’s hard to believe you have a child, when you act so… coy.”
Tam didn’t comment on the subtle slight. “What are you doing?” he repeated instead.
“I’m wearing a white tunic underneath. We need to finish writing your thesis on the constellation Gatral Dragon to show the record keeper of Junya, and I’m not getting ink on silk.” She squared herself to him. “My lord, we will need to adapt to behaving as a couple. I understand it is unpleasant for you, but I am a professional, and I promise you don’t need to worry about treating me as—”
“It isn’t unpleasant.” Tam almost cringed at his outburst, but his tongue continued working regardless. “And I’m going to treat you with the respect you deserve.”
“I am not deserving of the respect of nobility. Forget what I told you about my past. In Daxaria, all I am is a lowly assistant. With no title. So, please, my lord. You are making me feel… uncomfortable.”
Tam slowly faced Eli, his bashfulness fading as he studied her expression.
He noticed how she shifted under his gaze; how she couldn’t help but fidget a little with the powder-blue shirt in her hand. “You feel like if you are seen and held up on a pedestal there is a greater chance you will be hurt.”
Eli reared back as though he had slapped her, but he continued nonetheless.
“You’re trying to convince me you aren’t worth anything, because you think if I see you as someone worthwhile, I’ll use you, or people will come and tear you down. Or both.”
“I am powerless, my lord. I am worthless.”
“Not as a human you aren’t. It doesn’t matter if you lack power, wealth, or support. You’re a thinking, feeling being. I will treat you with respect. When have I ever said you can’t say no? When have I said your comfort and boundaries should be ignored? If I have crossed them at any point and you want to leave my employ right now, go ahead. I will pay you a handsome severance. I’m almost certain I’ve said this before.” Tam moved closer to Eli, and he could see her wide-eyed hesitation as he neared.
“My lord, I just mean if… if you keep treating me like a woman rather than simply an assistant, there could be a misunderstanding, or it could be unnecessarily stressful for you. This is a unique situation, and if we have to keep boundaries in mind at all times, it could make things more difficult or inefficient.”
“Common decency is not something that should be trumped by efficiency.”
Eli opened her mouth to argue again, but Tam was inches away from her, and her breath caught in her throat as he pressed on.
“And what kind of misunderstanding are you worried will happen between us?”
Tam knew he shouldn’t have asked that question. Why was he risking making things even more tense? How the hell would he respond if she said what she was implying more directly? He was going to be crossing boundaries he had just been preaching about!
I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, Godsdammit I’m a massive idiot…
Eli gripped the shirt in her hand even more tightly, then slowly lowered it to her side.
“My lord, please… stop.”
Tam blinked and leaned back.
“I haven’t lived as a woman in more than a decade. I don’t feel like myself when you keep treating me as one both in public and behind closed doors. It is bad enough that I even have to pretend to be a mother in public—I don’t know what a good mother should look like. So please, when we are alone, treat me as a man.”
The heated well of pure unreasonable instinct disappeared, and Tam could feel disgust flood his insides.
Now I’m an arse and an idiot… Where’s Kat hitting me when I really need it?
“My apologies, Eli.” Tam dropped his gaze. “I will do my best to respect your wishes. Though I will still look away when you are undressing in any capacity—please accept this shortcoming of mine, but I can’t help but feel conscious of it. Again, I apologize.”
Tam gave a bow of his head—but he was still standing near enough that the bow brought him even closer to her. He caught a faint scent—a perfume that smelled of citrus and something else he couldn’t identify.
He righted himself and left the room as quickly as possible.
◆◆◆
Eli sank shakily down onto the bed. She was grateful Tam hadn’t seemed to notice how deeply she was blushing, or the fact that her knees had buckled a little when he had been close enough for her to feel the heat from his face near her own. As much as she had claimed she wanted him to ignore the fact that she was a woman, she had to admit that she had said such things to convince herself just as much as Tam. It would be ridiculous to feel anything like lust, or Gods forbid, romantic interest between them.
Tamlin Ashowan would never be interested in me. He’s just trying to do what’s right. That’s it. There is nothing more. And just like he shouldn’t feel tense around me, I shouldn’t feel such foolish emotions, either.