Chapter 43
The Trick to Travel
T am landed in the void with so much force that his ankles jarred painfully, but he was still clasping Lord Kim’s wrists, and the Zinferan still held the knife.
“Wh—What did you do? Where am I?” The fear and panic in Lord Kim’s voice rang out into the blackness.
Underneath his touch, Tam could feel the man start to tremble. Sighing, he released Lord Kim and watched as the Zinferan collapsed onto his knees, the dagger falling to the ground. As soon as he collected himself, Lord Kim started murmuring prayers to the Goddess.
“Prayers don’t work. Trust me. I’ve tried.”
Tam turned around and took a few steps away from the nobleman. Then he thought better of turning his back on the Zinferan. In the void, he might not hear an attack from behind.
Unsurprisingly, Lord Kim’s fervent prayers continued.
“I’m a witch, not the devil,” Tam tried again, not bothering to disguise his growing exasperation. “And if you knock that off, I can try to figure out how I can get you and me out of here.”
Lord Kim only cracked an eye to quickly glance at Tam, then continued praying.
Great. Now I need to decide I don’t want to be here. But wait… If I appear back in the office with him, he’s going to have me arrested. Shit. My only shot at resolving this, is if I tell him more of the truth… Tam groaned inwardly. Revealing more of the truth was going to be problematic.
At the very least this problematic turn of events was distracting him from his anxiety about being back in the void.
“Lord Kim, I’m really not the devil. But it is true I lied about my identity.”
The nobleman finally stopped muttering and opened his eyes, already looking like he was preparing himself to attack Tam with his bare hands.
Tam sidled a little bit closer, mostly to make sure the Zinferan didn’t lunge for the knife that glinted on the ground between them.
“Well? Who are you going to claim to be this time, Satan?” Lord Kim snarled.
Tam sent a silent prayer of his own up to the Goddess, that he wasn’t making a massive mistake.
“My name is Lord Tamlin Ashowan. Son of Duke Finlay Ashowan. The house witch. From Daxaria. My mother, Duchess Annika Ashowan, was part Troivackian, hence my black hair and dark eyes.”
The words stunned Lord Kim into silence.
Tam held his gaze and straightened his shoulders. “I’m here to investigate the state of the Zinferan court from a distance. Eli, who is posing as my wife, came with me because she knows this kingdom. She’s currently working for my family while she tries to obtain Daxarian citizenship.”
Lord Kim sank back onto his haunches as his expression grew even more gobsmacked.
“Then we received information regarding Lord Guk and Lord Yangban’s work with human trafficking and how the concubine Soo Hebin is working to build her own power to place her son on the throne. We decided to tip the scales a little out of their favor.”
“You…” Lord Kim managed, his thoughts racing behind his eyes. “You made me approach you. You knew I was opposed to Her Highness Soo Hebin.”
“Yes.”
“You wanted to work with me, even though your family openly disapproves of those of the Acker religion,” the Zinferan continued.
“It’s a ridiculous religion, born to feed hatred that comes from some sort of personal pain. The Goddess does not hate any creation she makes, and if you think she isn’t aware of who they love…? Then you are insulting their divinity.” Tam could see the way his words once again incited rage in Lord Kim. “However, aside from your terrible beliefs pertaining to those who don’t have straightforward sexual preferences… You are not an evil person. There is bad in all of us, but it’s rare that that is all we are.”
Lord Kim glared at Tam. “I suppose you feel you can lecture me when you have the upper hand. Where are we?” he asked scathingly.
Tam released an agitated breath. “My ability makes me able to move to a place of everything, and nothing. It’s very difficult to find my way out, and I’ve never been able to bring anyone else in with me before.”
“You are death.”
“I’m not—” Tam paused.
Was that why the carriage driver had come? Was he like him…? Wasn’t the carriage driver Death?
“I don’t know. I’ve avoided wielding my magic because I don’t know how to use it, or the nuances of it.”
Tam wearily sat down cross-legged while continuing his explanation. “Eli—or Elisara, as you know her—didn’t want to come back to Zinfera. She only did it because the Daxarian king promised her citizenship in exchange for her help. She does not want anything to do with the Zinferan throne. All we are doing is investigating and trying to stop Soo Hebin from gaining supporters to name Junya the capital where more nobility are neutral in their loyalty, but would benefit in the increased value to their businesses, land worth, and investments when the palace would move. Those nobles would be in her pocket if she succeeds doing this and those nobles would offer their resources. We’re trying to make it so her only means of power is through human trafficking, which as everyone knows is an incredibly high-risk venture, and in no way secures the throne for her son. You just happened to try to stab me, and so my magic brought us here.”
Lord Kim arched an eyebrow, his expression softening fractionally. “What about the boy?”
Tam winced. He’d hoped this question wouldn’t come up. “He is my son.”
“Now I know you lie,” Lord Kim scoffed coldly. “If he is your son, then you are not Lord Tamlin Ashowan.”
“Aaah.” Tam reached up and rubbed his face. “No, no. He is. I found out I had an illegitimate son on my voyage here, after he stowed away on the boat in order to meet me. Prior to this journey, I had no idea he existed, and I’m doing my best to navigate this new complication.”
Lord Kim was once again so appalled that he was shocked into momentary quiet. “I doubt the great Ashowan household would ever have something as scandalous—”
“Wow. First time in my life I’ve been considered the scandalous one in my family.” Tam let out a dry laugh.
“If everything you’ve said is true… What now?”
Tam leaned back and rested his palms against a solid surface that felt like cool glass, but really just appeared as more darkness. “Well, I can start trying to get us back out of this place—which I’d like to. Last time this happened, I was stuck in here for three days.”
“That’s why you were gone for so long from the library!”
“Yes. And I’d like to get back sooner than that, but I need to know what you will do once we return.” Tam’s dark eyes rested somberly on the nobleman.
Lord Kim tilted his head, and Tam watched as his chubby index finger occasionally tapped his thigh as he navigated his thoughts. “What did you mean when you said this is a place of everything and nothing?” he finally asked, succeeding in catching Tam off guard.
The future duke opened his mouth, then closed it.
He had the sense it was a bad idea to mention his encounter with Death’s carriage driver.
“How I’m understanding it is—if I focus? I can feel, hear, and smell my surroundings. But there are spots in here where there is nothing.”
“Like the Grove of Sorrows?”
Tam could tell by his leading tone that the Zinferan nobleman was once again trying to argue that he was Death.
“Apparently the Grove of Sorrows is worse.”
Lord Kim frowned. “How do you know such a thing? Have you also met with the Gods? I thought it was only your father who briefly spoke to the Goddess—”
Tam looked toward where the sky theoretically should have been. “If you think everything about my family is flawlessly transparent and reported to everyone, you concern me.”
Lord Kim had to concede the point. “With your magic, can you possess people?”
“I don’t believe so.”
“Can you banish people to this place?”
“Not sure. You’re the first to come here, remember?”
“Peculiar… As someone who, lord or not, has a scholar’s mind, I’d expect you to have more of an investigative spirit for such a gift.”
Tam felt an old wound in his heart resurface. “You were scared when you first got here, right? Well, imagine being a child and being stuck in a void where you had no body. And there was no sense of time. You simply ceased to exist.”
Something remarkably similar to compassion welled up in Lord Kim’s eyes. “That sounds frightening.”
“It was. I didn’t want to learn more about it until recently, and to be quite honest, there hasn’t been a great deal of time to think about it.”
“Does time move slower here…?” Lord Kim peered around curiously.
“It feels that way. Or as if it’s a space that occasionally halts time.”
Lord Kim carefully lifted the right corner of his mouth. “Well… Lord Tamlin Ashowan. If that is the case, then the answer to your earlier question on what I will do once you free me from this place is this: Let us explore your magic in here as much as possible, and once we return to the land of the living, I will try to help you stop Lord Yangban from gaining any more power, and I will keep your secret. But … I want you to promise me you will not grant any favors to the Nam family. Not ever.”
“Elisara better be excluded from that detail,” Tam warned, his expression turning cold.
Lord Kim balked only for a moment at the shift in the future duke’s disposition, but then smiled genuinely. “Ah. So it wasn’t entirely a lie that you care deeply for Elisara.”
Tam said nothing for a moment. “I do not believe Chul Nam is like his father,” he finally replied, “but I will concede that I think his assistant is corrupt.”
“Like attracts like, Lord Tamlin. But if the scenario is as you evidently believe, where that boy is pushed around by a bully? You cannot be the one to reach out a hand to save him. Lord Chul must learn to save himself or you will get dragged under. Lord Chul already has a wealth of support, why should he need yours?”
“If he does start trying to free himself, will I be able to help without you considering it a nullification of this agreement?” Tam questioned instead of commenting on Lord Kim’s observation.
Lord Kim considered this proposal carefully before responding. “Possibly. He is well connected enough, Lord Tam. Do not give him any tie to you, and if you think you are doing it for Princess Elisara, you are mistaken. It was a blessing she was freed from that family. You keep her as far from them as possible.”
Tam wanted to object more, but Lord Kim held out a hand, letting him know this was the deal. And he had no choice but to take it.
The future duke recognized that he might be gaining an ally, but he was also gaining a very risky liability. Still, once they left Zinfera, it wouldn’t really matter.
He shook the man’s hand.
“Wonderful, now—” Lord Kim began.
“Before we get started, I do just want to confirm that you are aware that if Soo Hebin finds out about any interference on your end, you could find yourself charged with treason.”
“For what? Helping exterminate the vermin infestation of human traffickers we have?” Lord Kim wondered mildly. “If we cripple Lord Yangban, she will claim to know nothing about it.”
Tam chuckled. There wasn’t anything else he could say on the matter, he supposed.
“Alright, Lord Tamlin, can you transform into objects, or is this the middle ground to that end?”
“I doubt that.”
“What do you feel or smell right now?”
At first Tam was going to dismiss this question, but he had to admit it wasn’t a bad idea to learn more about his abilities.
So he closed his eyes and reached out with his senses.
At first there was nothing, but as he waited, a faint clamor started wafting closer, as though he were still in Lord Kim’s office with the bustling streets of Junya just outside… What did he smell?
Varnish? Fresh paper?
He repeated his findings to the Zinferan nobleman, who nodded excitedly. “We must be in a pocket of magic within my office still!”
Tam pondered this discovery. The last time he had been in the void, he had wandered around a lot; was that why he wound up somewhere else? Or… Could he choose where he reappeared?
A buzzing sensation sprang to life in Tam’s chest, and it started to spread.
“You know, if you ever do happen to find the devil, this would be a marvelous way of holding him hostage, unless of course he is more powerful than yo—”
“Why would you say that?” Tam demanded abruptly, his thoughts snapping to the present in alarm.
Lord Kim didn’t react to Tam’s disturbance. “The devil’s power is to extort fear from people. If he is trapped in a place without people, then really, it is the perfect prison. One that no one other than the Gods or yourself could’ve made.”
Tam felt a droplet of cold sweat run down his back as Luca’s smiling face flashed through his mind. Then he thought of the mysterious, magical red thread that had dragged him out of the void last time. At one point he had had a similar thought about his void being a prison, and it had struck a chord in him. Now it made him feel sick. Unless perhaps it was used on the first witch…
“I have another idea,” he said gruffly, not wanting to dwell on the dangerous possibilities of such a stressful future. “Stand.”
The Zinferan nobleman obeyed.
Tam reached out and grasped Lord Kim’s arm. He closed his eyes, but this time, instead of searching for what was around him and what he could feel, hear, or smell, he thought of his and Eli’s room back at the house.
He thought of the bed with the fluffed duvet, the warm color of the wooden floors, the papered sliding door, the dresser with Eli’s new bangles. He remembered the polish Haewon used when dusting the ledges and bed frame, which gave the room its lemon scent…
Then Tam allowed all his desire to return to that room flood his being. How, more than absolutely anything, he wanted to be back in the house with Eli and Luca…
It was just after lunchtime, and it was usually when Luca’s tutor had him meditating out in the plum tree, so the inside of the house was quiet. Maybe Eli was taking a nap.
Unlike when Tam’s magic leaked out in black shadows and silvery wisps, a different sensation bore down on him. It was the feeling of being weightless as he whipped through nothing and yet not nothing. He heard sounds blare, he could feel all kinds of things bump into him, he even thought he felt sunshine on his face at one point, but that driving flow of magic that he allowed to rush from himself pulled him forward as he clung to the image of the room until…
“Tam? W-what just… Who’s that?”
Tam’s eyes snapped open, and he found himself standing exactly where he had imagined he would, still holding Lord Kim’s arm.
He turned, dumbfounded, to see Eli sit up in bed with her eyes bulging out of her head.
Tam noted that there were fading, silvery wisps around him that eventually disappeared into the air…
He swallowed.
He’d done it.
His magic allowed him to travel to in-between places. To a nothing place. To an everything place… and to places in the land of the living.
Opening his mouth, his head spinning, Tam looked at Eli and said, “Your hair’s sticking up at the back of your head.”