Chapter 45
A Sweet Surrender
Y un kicked over the basket that held his crumpled correspondence. His hands tightened into fists as he glared at the mess in the flickering light of the candles in his quarters.
Everything had been perfect ! His father had had every detail plotted out ages ago…
Yun was supposed to swoop in with the useless Nam son and rescue Elisara after she’d spent years getting that stubbornness beaten out of her.
They’d paid that wretched Duke Icarus a hefty sum to seize her after they helped Soo Hebin abduct the princess from the palace, but the useless Troivackian noble had been caught by his king and she’d been out of Yun’s grasp again.
Until lo and behold, he heard whisperings from one of his connections at Ori harbor about a half-Zinferan woman called Eli traveling with some suspicious men.
Why the hell hadn’t Icarus mentioned that Elisara had had a child?
Then again… It was probably right around the time that the Troivackian duke had been captured that she’d fallen pregnant.
That ruddy scholar, Joe Voll, probably slipped in and got his hands on her while traveling in Troivack or something to that effect.
Yun gritted his teeth. His eyes cut to his desk, which he typically kept flawlessly neat, but he had bashed it out of his way in a fit of rage, and so its contents lay across it askew.
I thought if I could marry her and simply associate myself with the royal family at a distance like that concubine suggested, it’d be enough, but now I could rule over the entire Nam family. She is far too valuable to leave her to rot in a marriage to that man—who is most likely a witch…
Pausing his furious pacing, Yun’s emotions settled abruptly, as they often did.
“There are rumors about the devil… I doubt Soo Hebin is unaware that Elisara is here,” Yun muttered to himself. “All I’d need to do is say that I met with the princess, who is plotting to return and take over the throne. I’m sure Soo Hebin would then be willing to lend me some help. If I could have a powerful witch or two help me kill off her husband and son, I can tell Her Highness that Elisara will no longer be a threat. I’ll make it known that I only want to become the head of the Nam household and we’d be loyal to her son once he takes the throne… Yes. That should be enough to convince her.”
With this new plan, Yun sat down at his desk, a new spark of hope igniting.
I’ll fix this, and after I do? Everything will be even better than I had ever planned.
Father will be proud.
◆◆◆
Tam woke with a start, though his mind tried to hold him under the blanket of slumber. He rarely fell into a deep sleep. Once or twice growing up he had momentarily appeared in the void due to some horrible nightmare, and so he had managed to train himself to wake should a dream start to become stressful or should his environment change even slightly.
So he was more than a little shocked to see not only Eli in bed beside him, but also Luca.
He stared down at the two of them, utterly awestruck; his panic abated only a little as he processed the situation.
Eli’s eyes were red and swollen, and her cheeks were flushed. She’d been crying.
Tam wanted to wake her up right there and ask why she had been upset, but then he realized that Luca was holding his hand.
He stared dumbly at the small hand clutching his own, then noticed that Luca was also holding Eli’s hand. Tam felt emotions well up. He laughed, though he did his best to do so quietly.
I guess I understand why she might have been emotional—I could start weeping here myself. Though I might just be an obtuse arse in assuming that’s what it was…
Tam sighed, wondering how someone could ever cross a chasm of trauma as large as Eli’s, when he noticed the rosy evening sky just outside the window.
The future duke knew he needed to start getting ready to break into Lord Guk’s house.
Tam looked back at Luca’s hand, then at his son’s sleeping face, and motivating himself to the task suddenly seemed next to impossible.
Gods, is this what a normal life would be like? A life where I’m not trying to live up to a hero father and a spymaster mother? Not living in fear of my magic?
The idea was utterly intoxicating, and while he didn’t want to acknowledge it fully yet, a small seed that was planted at the idea of a quiet family life of his own had already sprouted roots.
Tam gave Luca’s hand a gentle squeeze before carefully sliding his fingers free and easing himself off the bed.
He idly sniffed under his arm. He could stand to bathe, but that would have to wait. It was a better idea to prioritize eating before leaving. Besides, he’d see about splashing some water there and that should be enough to—
A quick, whispering movement drew Tam’s eyes upward. Eli had leapt up from the bed, her left foot braced on the bed frame, her right hand lifted back as though she were about to cast a powerful magic.
Tam watched this speechlessly, but once he overcame his surprise, he waited for the sleepy confusion to drift from Eli’s eyes as her mind rejoined consciousness and understood there was no imminent danger.
When Tam felt certain he wasn’t about to be attacked, his mind started to whir into motion.
Eli’s power… He hadn’t really given it much thought, but if it was strong enough that she’d learned to brace for it? He was inclined to suspect she had wind magic.
Still, she wouldn’t be scared of simple wind magic, and furthermore, the Giong Coven would’ve helped train her. Especially if she was close in line to the throne.
Tam was pulled from his thoughts when Eli set both feet on the ground and glanced just past Tam at the sky outside.
Her eyes widened. She nodded to Tam— time to get ready —then padded her way over to the dresser and started quietly withdrawing a black shirt and pants.
Tam pulled his own shirt off and moved toward the wardrobe in the back left corner. Eli turned and started to take off her own shirt. When her sight landed on Tam, they both froze.
Momentarily stunned, self-consciousness flooded Tam, and he felt his face heat as Eli’s eyes roved over his bare torso. But his embarrassment ebbed when he saw a glint in her expression that told him…
She was having a reaction to seeing him without a shirt.
He squared himself to her and raised his eyebrows in question, he felt a cheeky smile draw itself on his face.
It was Eli’s turn to flush, but she returned the favor by mirroring Tam’s position and resumed sliding her shirt over her head.
Shock bolted through Tam and he found himself rooted in place.
Eli had been living openly as a woman, so she didn’t have her bindings on. She was standing half naked in front of him.
Tam felt his knees weaken.
What the hell is she doing?
Taking a shuddering breath that did little to help his control, he tried to force himself to turn around, but then he made the mistake of meeting Eli’s gaze.
The look in her eyes…
His heart thudded violently in his chest.
She looked shy and vulnerable, but when he again gave her a questioning look of alarm that let her know he hadn’t a clue why she was standing there, baring herself to him without a care in the world when she knew how he felt…
Gods help him.
She gave a nod.
Delirious panic, hope, excitement, and thought-stopping want drowned Tam’s senses.
He rubbed his face with one hand then let it rest over his mouth, his eyes never leaving Eli’s, save for a brief glance at Luca, who’d flopped onto his stomach as he slept.
Tam dropped his hand.
It took three steps for him to stand nearly toe-to-toe with Eli. She had to tilt her head back to keep looking at him.
His heart skipped a beat when he noticed her trembling and the quick, quiet breaths that accompanied the expression on her face. She had a look of tentative opening, of nervous trust… Tam’s head swam.
Lifting his right hand to gently grasp her neck, his thumb pressing lightly against her cheek, Tam twitched his chin down once in silent question as he lowered his face closer to hers. He stopped, mere inches from her mouth, and waited.
Was she certain?
Eli’s breath caught in her throat, and it nearly undid Tam right then and there as he held still.
She was shaking under his touch, but Tam knew by the way she leaned into his hand that it wasn’t because she didn’t want him there.
Wind chimes from outside gently tinkled in the quiet.
Eli looked at his mouth, and then back at Tam’s eyes, and again, she nodded.
Tam was done waiting.
He dropped his mouth to hers and kissed her, pure happiness pouring from even the darkest reaches of his being.
Especially when he felt her warm hands rest on his hips, and she kissed him back.
Tam pulled her into himself, needing her to feel the intensity simmering in him, needing her to understand what she was doing to him…
He broke away only when he had to breathe, his eyes opening in the haze of heady emotions to see that her own had darkened, and her dazed longing was edging toward urgent desire…
A muffled sleepy moan sounded from Luca.
Tam and Eli sprang apart. Eli threw her shirt over her head in the blink of an eye. Tam flew across the room and yanked a fresh black shirt over himself.
The pair then turned in unison to see that Luca was still sound asleep, and had only grabbed more of the comforter to hug. His back was to them.
Tam’s attention darted back to Eli, who had managed to fully change while Tam had been busy dressing himself.
Though the way her cheeks were still blushing… she looked beautiful.
Tam swallowed. Then straightened, knowingness steadying him.
He returned to stand before Eli, though this time he moved slower, and he watched as she fidgeted, uncertain what he was about to do.
Tam let out a breath, then got down on his knees.
Panic flooded Eli’s face. Tam managed to give her a half-reassuring smile as he gave his head a small shake to let her know he wasn’t proposing marriage—not quite yet.
Instead, he took her right hand, kissed her knuckles, and rested her palm against his chest so she could feel the thrumming weight of his heartbeat.
Her eyes widened, and Tam smiled up at her before covering her hand with both of his, then bowing his head so that his forehead rested against her middle.
Despite not a word having been spoken, Tam felt as though she understood exactly what he was trying to say…
Remember what I said. You can do and have everything.
Tam basked in the moment, hoping she wasn’t already regretting what they were in the middle of, but his worries were quieted as her left hand softly brushed through his hair, making him tilt his face back up to look at her.
Eli crouched down, her expression shifting toward wary concern, and Tam took it to mean…
Slowly. Please. Go slowly.
He smiled and bowed his head briefly in assent.
Whatever she wanted.
Eli smiled back. While she still looked unnerved, there was a spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Tam found himself thinking how the woman had absolutely no idea the lengths to which he’d go for her.
But perhaps, for the time being, that was for the best, because the truth was that there were no limits, and she would need to discover this on her own.
Eventually.
When she was ready to accept that he was planning on giving her absolutely anything she wanted that was within his power to give.