Chapter 33 #2
“Don’t worry, Archie’s going to be fine,” I assure them. “The worst that can happen is he’ll have a few broken bones—nothing that can’t be mended.”
“Are you sure?” asks Callum.
“Absolutely.”
He still looks unsettled.
“You know, your dad’s not going to be mad at you,” I go on. “I’m not saying he won’t tell you off for breaking the rules. But he loves you. Don’t forget that.”
They both smile. I try to do the same but can’t, so turn my back on the kids, switch the hose onto the jet function, and water the borders.
I can’t escape the thought that Theo won’t be mad at them, but he has good reason to be mad at me. And the more I consider it, the more I think he will be mad at me. As soon as he found out what had happened, he hardly even looked at me. He didn’t address me at all.
I feel a sickness in the pit of my stomach. Is this it, the moment I always suspected would come? The moment Theo’s feelings start to fade and our relationship falls apart?
And to think that last night we had a romantic meal in Lucca. To think that just a few hours ago he put his arms around my waist and asked if I had any idea how much he loved me.
My phone pings to tell me I have a message.
“Is that Dad?” asks Callum.
I transfer the hosepipe to my other hand and lift my phone out of my pocket. “Yeah.”
“What does he say?”
I’m not sure whether to read the message out loud, till I see it begins with the words Panic over.
“The x-rays showed it’s only a sprain,” I read. “They’ve given him some painkillers and strapped up his ankle. We’ll be back soon.”
My relief is instant, as if someone has flicked a switch.
“Thank fuck!” I want to say—then realize I have.
Mabel giggles. “Don’t worry, I’m the same.”
“And me,” says Callum.
Now I do manage a smile.
I retreat to the tap to switch off the water. “Just don’t tell your dad I swore!”
Theo carries Archie up to the top floor and gets him ready for bed. He’s already given a full report of what happened at the hospital and now wants to make sure Archie gets a good night’s sleep.
Theo props up his crutches against the wall and we all gather round the bed. It’s brill to see Archie looking so well. His glasses have been straightened and his face is animated by a grin.
“The doctor said I was really brave!” he chirps.
“I bet she did,” I say.
“Can you remember the word she used in Italian?” pipes Theo.
“Coraggioso!” warbles Archie.
Theo smiles. “Superb! Now, I’m pleased your brother and sister are sharing a room with you tonight: they can keep an eye on you. Isn’t that right, Cal? Mabel?”
Mabel nods, several times. “Yeah!”
Callum picks at his braces. “If you like.”
I can tell he’s still down on himself.
Theo turns back to Archie. “Now, do you want anything?”
Archie puts his finger on his chin and pretends to be thinking. “Can I have some chocolate buttons?”
Theo laughs. “Before you go to sleep?”
Archie nods. “With a glass of milk.”
Theo rolls his eyes and smiles.
“I’ll come with you,” I say.
We set off down the stairs. I’m desperate to apologize but there’s something else I have to say first.
“It might be an idea if you had a word with Callum and Mabel,” I begin, once we’re in the temporary kitchen. “I think they’re feeling guilty about what happened, especially Callum.”
Theo opens the fridge and pours a glass of milk. “Well, I do want to talk to them about following rules.”
“Yeah, and that’s fine, obviously—you’re their dad. Just do me a favor and make sure Callum knows you love him. He feels bad about letting you down.”
Theo closes the fridge door. “OK, understood. And thanks for the tip-off.” He puts the glass of milk down. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s up with you?”
“Theo, I’m so sorry!” I blurt out.
Theo wrinkles his forehead. “For what?”
“I know you’re pissed off with me. And you’ve every right to be.”
“Ads, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not pissed off with you in the slightest.”
“But if I’d been looking after the kids like I was supposed to, they wouldn’t have gone up to the castle.”
Theo shakes his head. “I ask the older kids to keep an eye on Archie all the time. These things happen. Honestly, it’s not an issue. And I think Archie quite enjoyed his adventure. He’s feeling like a brave soldier and can’t wait to show the builders his crutches.”
I draw in a long breath and let it out. I can feel my anxiety clearing. “OK, as long as you’re sure.”
“I am sure. And I love you.” Theo pushes himself off the table and comes closer to kiss me.
A grin splits my face.
“But that’ll have to do you for now,” Theo says, grabbing a bag of chocolate buttons. “Before Archie goes to sleep, we’ve got to call Kate.”
“It was bad enough when he gave Archie a haircut that made him look like a thug,” Kate barks over the speakerphone.
“I like that haircut!” I’m about to say.
But Theo intervenes. “Archie loves that haircut. And I’m the one who said he could have it.”
Kate scoffs. “Yes, of course. As usual, it’s got nothing to do with Adam.”
Theo and I are sitting on the patio, as Kate said she wanted to speak to us alone. It’s dark so we’ve switched on the new lights the builders have fitted onto the front of the house. The phone’s lying on the table between us.
“Anyway, this has gone far enough,” Kate steams on. “I won’t stand for it any longer.”
“Won’t stand for what?” asks Theo.
“Your boyfriend’s irresponsible approach to childcare!”
I reach down and scratch my mosquito bite. I tell myself not to get wound up, with a reminder of what Kate’s been through.
“I’m responsible for the kids,” Theo argues, calmly but firmly. “And I had to work today. Just like you’ve had to work all summer. That’s why you couldn’t look after them, remember?”
“Yes, well, I didn’t think you’d hand them over to someone who’d laze around and let them run riot!”
“Kate, Adam was working on the house.” Theo is keeping his voice down, presumably so the kids won’t hear. “We’re doing a renovation project, remember?”
“As if I could forget that slap in the face!” she blasts on. “Doing up that massive house he inherited from some rich relative, while I’m slaving away doing up someone else’s, trying to make ends meet!”
Theo gives a short sigh. “Kate, you’re not ‘trying to make ends meet.’ I gave you every penny you asked for in the divorce. And the calculations you made were based on you not working. Now you are, I’m happy to renegotiate.”
I’m surprised to hear Theo standing up to Kate about finances. In the past, he’s rolled over and taken whatever she’s thrown at him. I wonder if my message about going easier on himself has got through.
“Well, that’s just like you,” she hisses. “Or should I say the new you, since Adam got his claws into you?”
Why can’t she say my name in her normal voice, rather than pronouncing it as if it’s the name of some hideous flesh-eating disease?
Then I find myself wondering if Kate would hate me quite so much if she knew Theo had cheated on her with a man.
If she knew their marriage didn’t stand a chance—with or without me.
“But of course, now I’m trying to scrape together a little bit of money,” she thunders on, “you want to take it away from me.”
“I don’t want to take anything away from you,” Theo hits back. “I’m pleased you’re rebuilding your career.”
She gives a high-pitched huff. “Well, I might have to give up this job now. First Callum gets wasted, Mabel drives her bike into a car, all three of them get attacked by a snake, and now Adam’s supposed to be looking after Archie and lets him fall into a dungeon.
As a mother, quite honestly I’m terrified. ”
Theo runs his hand over his stubble. “Look, I get you’re frightened and I’m sorry about that, but I promise you there’s no need.”
Kate changes tack and addresses me directly. “Adam, I don’t expect you to understand this. Everything you do makes it blatantly obvious you’re not a parent.”
I become aware of a fluttering sound and look up to see two moths dancing around one of the night lights. I keep my eyes on them as I tell myself not to let her get to me.
Before I can respond, Theo cuts in. “Kate, don’t say that. Just because Adam hasn’t biologically produced a child doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of looking after them.”
Kate gasps. “Theo, what’s happened to you? Stop trying to pass off his negligence as some kind of stand for gay rights. It’s quite simple: you let your eight-year-old son be looked after by someone who isn’t capable.”
“No,” Theo says, “Adam and I let Archie be looked after by his older brother and sister. Just like you do when you’re busy. What’s the difference?”
“How many times do I have to say it? I’m their mother! Not some skank you picked up online!”
“Mum, don’t talk to Adam like that!”
I turn around to see Callum standing in the doorway, Mabel cowering behind him.
“Bloody hell.” Theo shoots up out of his seat. “Cal, Mabel, you’re supposed to be upstairs.”
But Mabel ignores him. “Mum, you’re lying!”
Kate sounds like she’s got something stuck in her throat. “Shouldn’t you be in bed, sweetheart?”
“Lying about what?” Theo says.
“She isn’t working!” Mabel shrieks.
“Mabel, sweetheart.” Kate’s tone has suddenly become much softer, more conciliatory.
But Mabel isn’t having any of it. “Mum, I’m not covering up for you anymore! You only said you had a job because you wanted to get rid of us!”
She bursts into tears.
“Mabel, that’s not true,” Kate insists. “I didn’t want to get rid of you at all.”
Theo scratches his cheek. “But what about the job, Kate? Does it exist or not?”
There’s a pause.
“It did,” Kate says, tartly. “But it fell through. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to gloat.”
Theo folds his arms. “And when exactly was this?”
But I don’t listen to her answer. Because I’m worried about Mabel, whose crying is becoming louder.
I stand up and go over to put my arms around her. And she crumples into me.