Chapter 40
‘Of course you won’t find foxgloves under ‘F’, they’re under D, for Digitalis.’ Jenni’s mother rolled her eyes before disappearing between two rows of fruit trees.
Jenni sighed. A trip to the garden centre with her mother was always a triggering experience.
The rotting smell of fresh compost, the unbearable heat of the greenhouses and the endless rows of plants that her mum moved slowly through, examining what felt like every single leaf.
It reminded her of childhood weekends, being reluctantly dragged through the perennial section with only the vague promise of a slice of cake in the café afterwards to look forward to.
Sulkily, she headed off to find the right section, eventually locating the foxgloves. She texted her mother and her phone beeped immediately with a reply.
I’ll come and find you when I’ve finished with the peonies. Find Pam’s choice. It’s an unusual variety and I want to get one for the bed at the back of the garden.
Jenni gave another sigh. She was going to have to look at the label stuck in every pot to find ‘Pam’s Choice’.
Rolling up her sleeves – and feeling very strongly that this had better be followed by a trip to The Potting Shed for a coffee and chocolate brownie – she leant forward and started working her way through the rows of black plastic containers.
The foxgloves were stunning but, she noted, poisonous for cats so not a plant for her garden.
Thinking about Oscar reminded her that she hadn’t heard back from 66 yet – she’d told them about not hearing back from Ben after their ‘not a date’ and hoped she hadn’t scared them off with too much information.
Distracted, she didn’t at first register the couple on the opposite side of the table, obscured by a sign dividing the digitalis from the euphorbias. It was only when the woman’s voice rose in volume and became slightly agitated that Jenni started to pay attention.
‘Of course we can’t have those ones! Look, the sign says they’re toxic. Do you want to poison the baby?’
‘Don’t be silly, of course I don’t. I’m just saying that we can’t worry about every little thing. And, besides, the baby won’t be crawling for ages, it’s not even been born yet,’ the man said, reasonably, with a note of humour in his voice.
Jenni froze. She recognised that voice.
Surely not? It couldn’t be, could it? Here of all places?
She slowly looked up to peer through the foliage, and her worst fears were confirmed: it was Alex.
With a very pretty woman – a very pretty and very pregnant woman – standing next to him. A pretty pregnant woman with a wedding band on her finger.
Pushing her hair out of her face with a soil-covered hand, Jenni stood up, hastily brushed herself down and plastered a smile on her face.
Damn it, she’d hoped in the intervening years since they’d broken up he’d let himself go, but – and she hated to admit it – he looked great. Better, in fact, than when they were together.
‘Alex! Hello. Hi!’
‘Jenni! What on earth are you doing here?’
Jenni wasn’t quite sure how to answer. It was a garden centre – what did he think she was doing?
‘Um, I’m here with Mum. She’s got a shady border that needs filling’ – why, why was she speaking like Miranda Hart all of a sudden? – ‘I, um, promised I’d help while I’m down for the weekend.’
‘Your mum always did like her garden,’ Alex said with a smile. ‘We’re visiting my mum and dad for the weekend too.’ He paused, suddenly awkward. ‘Sorry, I, um… This is Jelly.’ Alex put an arm around the woman standing next to him, who smiled and stretched out her hand.
‘Hi. Angelina – Jelly is just a nickname – nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.’
The last remark was said kindly, but made Jenni instantly want to run screaming to the hills. No one wanted their ex’s girlfriend – wife, Jenni amended, noting the gold band again as Angelina tucked a strand of long auburn hair behind her ear – to say they’d ‘heard lots about you’.
Jenni smiled back and shook Angelina’s hand.
‘Nice to meet you too. I haven’t heard anything about you, but then again, why would I?’ She attempted a laugh.
God, this was awkward. ‘Er, anyway, congratulations on the baby,’ she said, flicking her eyes down towards Angelina’s stomach, and having a sudden, heart-stopping moment of doubt – perhaps she’d misheard and had now committed the greatest faux pas known to womanhood.
But both Alex and Angelina glowed and looked at each other with gentle smiles. Jenni would have found it nauseating if she wasn’t experiencing massive relief over the fact she hadn’t just implied that Angelina was looking a bit chubby.
‘Thank you, we’re so excited. We’re due in December – just in time for Christmas. A new baby in our new home, we can’t wait!’ Angelina said.
‘New home?’ Jenni looked at Alex.
‘Yes, we decided we didn’t want to bring up the baby in the city, so we’ve moving down here to be by the sea and near Mum and Dad. We’re completing in a couple of weeks’ time.’
Jenni’s stomach flipped. She thought she detected a slightly sheepish look in his expression.
It had always been their dream to move back nearer to where they grew up; be near the sea, deep in the rolling green hills that had been the backdrop to their childhoods.
And now he’d taken the vision of the future they’d imagined together and given it to this woman smiling next to him.
There was a house they’d always loved – brick and flint, with wisteria growing around the door – that they’d decided was where they’d want to bring up their children.
He’d played along, saying it was perfect and that, when the time came, they’d move.
And she just knew, with a horrible feeling, that this was now the house that belonged to Alex and Angelina, and it would be their family playing in that beautiful garden, not hers.
Jenni couldn’t speak, and the silence seemed to stretch, becoming harder to fill.
To Jenni’s relief, her mother suddenly reappeared, dragging a flatbed trolley full of plants behind her.
‘Ah, there you are. How are you getting on? Did you find ‘Pam’s Choice’? What’s happened?’ Taking in the stricken look on her daughter’s face, she turned to see Alex and Angelina.
‘Alex!’
‘Hi, Annie, lovely to see you again.’ Alex gave her his most charming smile. ‘I’m afraid we’ve got to go, but nice to bump into you again, Jenni.’
‘And good luck with that shady border!’ Angelina added, before threading her fingers through her husband’s and slowly walking away.
Jenni watched them leave, blinking fiercely, refusing to give in to the tears she felt burning her eyes.
‘Oh, Jenni, love.’ Her mum put an arm around her shoulders. ‘Are you okay?’
Jenni nodded. Then shook her head. ‘No, I don’t think I am, actually. Did you know he’d got married?’
‘No, I didn’t. But I can understand you being so upset, love. You were together for a long time, it must be hard to see him with someone else.’
Jenni shook her head again. ‘It’s not that, I don’t care about that.
Well, I do, but I’m not upset. I’m mad that he’s been able to just move on, find someone else and walk into the future that we’d imagined together, while I’m stuck.
I can’t go through all that again, knowing it might fall apart; that I might fall in love and be left again.
I’m furious that… that he’s moved into my house with a woman called Jelly!
’ Jenni broke off, and bit the inside of her cheek. She was absolutely not going to cry.
Annie wrapped her arms tighter around her daughter, not entirely understanding what she was going on about, and gave her a long hug.
‘You’re going to be fine. Your dream is still waiting for you, you know.’
Jenni gave a tight smile and squeezed her mum back. They stood there for a moment more until her mum said, ‘Come on, I think it’s time for a cup of tea, and you can tell me why on earth he calls his wife Jelly.’
But before Jenni could explain, Annie yelped, ‘Oooh, there’s “Pam’s Choice”! Quick, grab a couple before that woman takes them all!’
Jenni did as instructed, grateful for the distraction as she relived the shock of hearing Alex’s voice; of seeing him again after all this time.
Loading the plants onto the trolley, she followed her mum towards the café. Why did she suddenly feel so very alone?