Chapter 52
Jenni, who hadn’t been able to concentrate all day anyway, slipped out of work early and rushed home to grab a quick shower before heading to Ben’s.
She kept her head down as she walked back from the station so she could avoid seeing the posters of Oscar’s face, his pirate patch of black fur surrounding one eye, staring out at her from every lamppost she hurried past.
She was beginning to worry that she’d never even know what had happened to him, let alone see him again.
She shook her head to dislodge the thought, and instead tried to focus on how she felt about having dinner with Ben.
Talking to Tim had made her realise just how much she liked him, but she wasn’t sure how, or even when, she’d feel brave enough to approach the subject with him.
Reaching the corner of her street, she turned into Copestone Road, tutting as she stepped around yet another huge pile of sand that had been left outside the vacant house being renovated.
She’d nearly tripped over a cement mixer that had been set up by the builders on the side of the road the other night, and she hoped the work would be finished soon as she was fed up hearing the drilling that seemed to go on all day.
She showered quickly, threw on a pair of comfy jeans and a House of Oscar sweatshirt, and grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, before slamming the door behind her.
Standing by the front door at Ben’s flat, she felt suddenly nervous. Dinner at his house, even with his niece in attendance, felt different. More intimate this time, somehow, and as she pressed the buzzer and waited, she felt something like butterflies in her stomach.
The front door finally opened, and a small girl in school uniform, with her hair in pigtails and covered in glitter, grinned a toothy smile at her.
‘Hello. I’m Evie. And you’re Jenni,’ she said solemnly, before turning on her heels and heading back indoors.
‘Come,’ she commanded as Jenni shut the door behind them and followed Evie into Ben’s flat.
‘Jenni’s here,’ called Evie, leading her into the kitchen where Ben was sliding a baking tray full of fish fingers into the oven.
‘Hey,’ he said, slamming the over door shut. ‘Sorry, dinner’s a bit delayed, we got distracted drawing some pictures of Oscar. The new posters,’ he explained sheepishly.
‘That’s okay,’ Jenni said. ‘And thank you for inviting me over,’ she added. ‘It’s really kind of you.’
‘Why don’t you go and sit with Evie while I tidy up in here?’
‘You can borrow my gel pens if you like,’ offered Evie generously. ‘But you have to put the lids back on or they dry out.’
‘Right, okay, noted,’ said Jenni, joining her at Ben’s desk, which was covered in drawings of cats. ‘I like that one,’ she said, pointing at a particularly colourful picture. ‘Why’s he on an iceberg?’
‘It’s Elsa’s castle, silly.‘
‘Oh, of course it is, sorry,’ Jenni replied, chastened.
Sitting quietly with Evie while she drew, the smell of fish fingers cooking in the background made Jenni feel like a child again herself, when all she had to worry about was making sure she didn’t lose the lids so her gel pens didn’t dry out.
‘Dinner’s ready,’ called Ben, and Evie jumped up, rushing to the kitchen, all thoughts of pen etiquette forgotten.
‘Shall I get the squashy trays?’ she asked her uncle. ‘So we can have a sofa picnic?’
‘A sofa picnic?’ Jenni asked, confused.
‘Yes, it’s when we have dinner on our laps on the sofa and watch TV. Don’t you have them?’ Evie asked, her forehead creasing.
‘Ah,’ said Jenni. ‘Every night’s a sofa picnic for me. I’m so good at it, I don’t even need a special tray,’ she said with a smile.
They decided on a Pixar film to watch, and as they sat next to each other on the sofa, trays on laps, fish fingers bizarrely sticking out the top of a pile of spaghetti bolognese – an Evie special, apparently – Jenni felt herself relax for the first time in days.
She didn’t feel the need to make polite chitchat or be on her best behaviour, she could just sit back and watch the movie.
Or perhaps, more truthfully, watch Ben watching the movie, her stomach flipping when he glanced over at her and caught her looking, before giving her a smile that made her melt.
They had just finished eating another of Evie’s favourites – jelly and rice pudding – when the buzzer went, and Ben got up to answer the door to his sister.
Jenni helped Evie collect all her pens and put them back into her pencil case while Evie gathered up her drawings of Oscar, handing one to Jenni.
‘Here you go, this one’s for your poster. I really hope you find him soon.’
‘Thank you – this is a beautiful picture. I hope we find him soon too.’
Behind her, in the hallway, Jenni could just about hear Ben whispering, before his sister hissed back, ‘Of course I won’t embarrass you, I just want to see her for myself.’ And she braced herself as the door was flung open with force.
Five foot four, with long blonde hair, wearing a smartly tailored trouser suit, Penny stepped forward with a friendly smile.
‘Hello, I’m Ben’s sister. I’m really sorry to hear about your cat,’ she continued. ‘You must feel bloody awful, I’m so sorry.’
Jenni, disarmed by Penny’s kind directness, nodded. ‘Thank you. I just feel so helpless, but Ben’s been helping me try to find him, and Evie’s drawn me a lovely picture for a new poster.’
She was about to show Penny the drawing, but Ben turned to his sister.
‘Right, I think that’s everything. I’m sure you’re in a hurry and need to get home.’ He quickly ushered a protesting Penny and Evie towards the door.
‘Don’t think I don’t know you’re trying to get rid of me,’ Penny whispered loudly as Ben bundled her down the hallway. ‘But thank you for picking up Evie. I’ll ring you tomorrow.’
She hugged her brother briefly. ‘She seems nice,’ she said quietly.
‘She is nice,’ said Evie, hugging Ben goodbye. ‘I like her.’
Ben found Jenni in the kitchen, washing up.
He stood in the doorway for a moment, watching her, a curl of hair falling forward over her face as she bent over the sink, her sleeves rolled up to reveal slender wrists, the cut of her jeans accentuating the curve of her hips and slim waist.
He was seized with the sudden urge to wrap his arms round her, kiss the place where her jawline met her neck.
Shaking his head to get rid of such thoughts, he picked up a tea towel and cleared his throat as he began to dry.
‘You don’t need to do this, but thank you,’ he said. ‘And sorry about that.’
‘Don’t worry, it’s fine.’ Jenni smiled. ‘She’s just protective of you. I can understand that.’
Ben winced. ‘Yeah, she worries about me.’ He paused. ‘She was great after I split up with my ex and I don’t think I could have got through it without her, or Evie, come to that. Especially the way my dad reacted.’
He paused, remembering how awful he had felt, the trauma of that terrible fire and then finding out about the affair so closely linked in his mind.
‘It must be lovely to have a sibling. When my dad died, I only had my mum. We’re really close, but she had her own grief to deal with. I know I’m really lucky to have friends like Tim and Amy, but I’m not sure it’s quite the same as having a brother or sister.’
‘I’m really sorry to hear about your dad,’ Ben said, gently.
‘Sounds like you’ve had some tough times with your dad?’ Jenni asked, rinsing the last fork under the cold tap. ‘Sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you’d rather not.
‘It’s okay,’ Ben said, ‘It’s just not something I really talk about much.
Dad didn’t handle my breakdown very well, and our relationship suffered because of it.
I think because he’d been through one too, and it was something he felt ashamed about – different times and all that.
But, weirdly, it was Oscar who got us talking again.
Dad helped me build his cat house and it gave us a way to communicate again.
It’s made me understand him a bit more, and as a result I feel less angry with him. ’
‘That sounds like a really difficult time for you. How are you feeling now?’ Jenni asked.
Ben paused. How did he feel now? The breakdown was something in his past, but he still carried the fear that those feelings might come back one day.
‘I have more good days than bad days, and I know how to handle the bad days now. I had a bunch of therapy sessions, so I know that it was a combination of things, not just one event that caused it.’
He took a breath, wanting to be honest with Jenni. It felt important, like if he didn’t, then they might not have a chance. He needed to be brave, take a chance.
‘It wasn’t just splitting up with my girlfriend that was the problem. I discovered she was cheating on me on my way home from attending a fire, the worst I’ve ever seen.’
Standing by the sink, drying the final plate for much longer than needed, Ben told Jenni what had happened that day.
When he finished, Jenni turned towards him, she didn’t speak but her eyes were full of emotion and Ben appreciated that more than any empty platitude.
She reached for the tea towel he was holding to dry her hands, and as she did, she felt the world around them still.
He moved closer, and she tilted her face up to him.
His breath brushed her cheek as he slid his arms around her waist, pulling her against him.
The shrill sound of her phone caused her to jump back, knocking a bowl still draining by the sink and watching it crash to floor.
‘Oh my God.’
‘Bloody hell.’
The moment broken, Jenni hastily apologised and dashed to grab her phone from the table, glancing at the display.
‘It’s not a number I recognise,’ she said, frantically answering the call and stepping out into the hall.
Ben took a dustpan and brush from the cupboard under the sink and began sweeping up the broken bowl, trying not to listen.
‘Hello?’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh my God. Where?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay.’
‘Thank you. Thank you so much. I will. Thank you.’
It was only after Ben had dropped the broken shards wrapped in newspaper into the recycling bin that he realised that Jenni was still in the hall. He found her sitting in silence on floor. Her face was pale and she was still holding her phone to ear.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, crouching down to her.
She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out.
‘Jenni, tell me. What’s wrong? What’s happened?’ Ben took her phone from her and could feel her hands trembling.
‘They’ve found Oscar.’