2. 8
“You didn’t get in.”
“No, I did.”
“What? When did you find out?”
“The beginning of the month.”
“Will! Why didn’t you tell me?” He continued silent. “Did you get the scholarship?”
He nodded.
“Full ride?”
Again, he nodded, and she kissed him in congratulations.
“But you don’t seem happy about it.”
He still wouldn’t answer her. She asked again, “Why didn’t you tell me when you found out?”
“I don’t know if I’ll take it or not.”
“Of course you will. Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, for one thing, I have no idea what I’ll study.”
“I told you – photography. See? I have your future all mapped out for you. Aren’t I helpful?”
“They don’t have a photography program.”
“You’re not a one-trick pony, like me. You could do any number of things. You have a couple of years to decide.”
“I can do a lot of things, but none of them very well.”
“You do all of them very well. You take amazing photos of me.”
“You’re beautiful. No one could take a bad photo of you.”
She frowned. “Is this low self-esteem, or just false modesty?”
The hand stroking her hair froze. “What?”
“Your bias is sweet and flattering, but I know for a fact that not everyone makes me look beautiful in photos like you do. You are brilliant at just about everything you try. There’s a difference between healthy pride and arrogance.”
He gathered her against his chest and held her there. “I wish I had applied to Santa Barbara instead.”
She spent a while holding him. Imprinting the long, lean lines of his body on her memory .
“How would you like to go with me to prom?” he asked after a while.
She gave a short laugh. “That’s kind of random. Are you sure a prom is really your thing?”
“I want to claim you before anyone else does.”
“Like I’d go with anyone else.”
He smiled warmly at her. “I can’t afford a limo.”
“I don’t need a limo. In fact, I don’t need a prom. Screw prom.”
“Are you sure?”
“You know you have to dance at a prom.” She tried to picture it, and laughed out loud. “No, you have no business at a prom, and I definitely don’t have my heart set on it. Let’s do something else that day. Something better.”
“Like what?”
“I think it’s high time you broke the fifty-mile barrier.”
He raised an eyebrow. “The fifty-mile barrier?”
“On your motorcycle.”
He laughed. “Where will we go?” After a moment’s consideration, he said, “Point Reyes.”
“No. That was my uncle’s thing. I want to do our own thing. If you’ve never seen Big Sur, then you haven’t lived yet. And bring your camera. You’re going to get the best shots of your life.”
He touched her face. “You’re too good to be true.”
She pinched herself. “Yep, I’m still real.”
“Will you come home with me now?”
Her heart gave a lurch, and she went back inside the restaurant to retrieve her things.
On the last day of April, William brought Julia on his motorcycle to A?o Nuevo State Reserve, near the fifty-mile mark. He took a photo of them there, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, holding the camera in front of him and shooting blindly.
“Save your film,” she advised as he snapped away at the elephant seals. “It doesn’t get really good until after we get past Carmel. ”
So they plowed ahead, past Santa Cruz, past Monterey, and into Carmel. Still, she pushed him onward, saying, “Trust me on this.”
Soon enough, he saw for himself what she meant as the road cut its tortuous path along the coastline, skimming cliffs that sliced into the intense blue water. He pulled off the road at every opportunity to snap photos, until she said, “We’d better keep moving if we ever want to get there.”
“Where am I going?”
“Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park.”
“What’s there?”
“You’ll see.”
After parking and following her down the trail, he saw the eighty foot waterfall plunging onto the sandy beach and said, “The only thing that would improve this view is you in front of it.”
“That’s very flattering. But it’s your turn now.”
She reached for his camera, but he resisted. “Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes.”
“I told you, I make it a point to never be on the other side of the camera.”
“Why?”
“I’m not photogenic.”
“That’s a load of bull. You’re just shy.” She touched his face, leaned into him. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. The world deserves a photo of you. I deserve a photo of you.”
It was just the trick; he handed her the camera.
“I won’t smile,” he said.
“Yes you will.”
She peered through the viewfinder and snapped one photo of him not smiling, just looking at her shyly.
She lowered the camera. “Do you want to hear a really bad joke?”
“Okay.”
“I’m warning you, it’s really bad.”
“Bring it on.”
“A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender asks, ‘What’ll it be?’ The baby seal says, ‘Anything but Canadian club on the rocks.’ ”
He only laughed because it was so outrageous coming from her, of all people. But it served its purpose; she snapped the picture.
“Oh, no fair!” he protested, putting his hands in front of his face. “You’re a con artist.”
“Takes one to know one.”
He laughed some more, and gave up trying to hide himself from her. She snapped as many pictures as she could get before he regained his composure.
“There. I know exactly how many photos I just took. Six. So don’t try to hide any of them from me.”
“Okay,” he said, taking the camera back. “Now it really is your turn.”
She submitted to a couple of photos, until he lowered his camera again and just gazed at her.
“Hungry?” she guessed.
He came forward and touched her on the arm. “I had a feeling this road trip might give me a good opportunity.”
“What?”
He glanced around to make sure they were really alone, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a diamond ring.
“Oh my God,” said Julia.
“I’ve been saving all winter and spring for this.”
Julia stared in disbelief at it. “Is this really happening?”
He slipped the ring onto her left hand. “I’m coming with you to Santa Barbara. I’m not going to USF. And I’d like you to marry me.”
He held her hand in both of his, and she spent a while looking at the diamond sparkling on her finger, still in shock. The diamond was modest, and it was clearly a new ring. She looked up at him and brushed back the bit of hair falling over his forehead.
“I’ll wear your ring, and I’ll marry you someday. But I won’t let you give up your scholarship.”
“I won’t change my mind. I’m going with you.”
“No,” she said gently. “I told you, I won’t forget about you.”
“I know you won’t, because I’ll be there with you.”
She touched his face, made him look her in the eye. “I love you. We’ll have a good life together. But you need to get your degree. ”
“I can be a cook.”
“I know that’s not what you really want.”
With a note of desperation, he said, “Why won’t you believe me when I tell you I don’t know what I want to do with my life, except to love you until the day I die? I’m not going to give up a sure thing for an unsure thing.”
His words moved her deeply. She took his hands in hers. “You’re right, this is a sure thing. We’ll see each other once a month, at least. At holidays, during breaks. I’ll call you every single week, maybe every day. Write you letters. And, you’ll figure out what you want to do and get your degree.”
She watched his face, watched him look out on the vista. Touched his forehead to smooth the worried furrows from his brow. Held up her hand for him to see.
“I’m wearing your ring. I’m never taking it off. You’ll never get rid of me now.”
He smiled halfheartedly.
“Listen to me.” She made him wrap his arms around her waist. “I’ll never forget this day as long as I live.”
His expression softened. “Me neither.”
One afternoon in the summer, Julia’s father appeared on the pier where Julia and William were taking their break.
“William, can I speak with you in my office when you have a minute?”
William stiffened. “Is there a problem?”
“Problem? No, not at all. Sorry if I alarmed you. Actually, I hope you’ll like what I have to say. Julia may as well come, too.”
With that, Julia’s father turned and headed back toward the restaurant. Julia and William exchanged baffled looks, but followed her father back inside.
Julia’s father closed the door behind them and said, “I know you’re going to USF, William. Julia tells me you’re majoring in Hospitality Management? ”
“Yes, I’ve thought about it. I was thinking I could use it in the restaurant industry somehow.”
Julia’s father took a seat at his desk and folded his arms across his chest. “If you major in Hospitality Management, you can complete the required work hours here, as a line cook. The hours would be flexible with your school schedule, of course. I’ll give you a raise, as well. How does that sound?”
Slowly, William nodded.
“What do you want?”
“Sorry?”
Julia’s father waved his hand impatiently. “Wage.”
William swallowed. “I don’t think I could do it for less than thirteen dollars per hour.”
“That’s more than what my top line cooks make, William.”
“There are a lot of expenses my scholarship doesn’t cover, and I was wondering how I was going to cover them while still working here.”
Julia’s father leaned back in his chair, and a trace of a smile played at his lips. “Nine.”
“Ten.”
Julia’s father held out his hand. Slowly, William took it, and they shook.
“I’ll have my wife draw up the paperwork.”
William nodded. Julia’s father turned away from them, clearly finished with the conversation. William rose, and Julia followed him back to his station.
William gripped the counter for a moment, paralyzed. “What the hell was that all about?”
“I think you just got a promotion.”
“Yeah, but why did you have to be there at the same time?”
“I think he wanted me to know he was taking care of you. I think that was his stamp of approval.” When William still leaned against the counter for support, Julia prompted, “What’s the matter?”
William turned a somber look on her. “I have a strange feeling, like I just signed my life away.”
“Where are you calling from?” William asked after Julia’s first week of classes.
“My dorm room. I used one of the calling cards my parents gave me. My roommate’s not here, so we can talk as dirty as we want.”
“How’s your roommate?”
“She’s about what you’d expect from a girl named Tiffany. Bleach blonde, surgically enhanced, and fake-baked.”
“What did you expect? It’s SoCal.”
“I guess I expected a university full of people who had to get straight A’s in order to get in. I didn’t expect to suffer social death if I didn’t join a sorority.”
“You mean you’re not joining one?”
Julia scoffed. “Seriously?”
“Well, if nothing else, it might give you some connections. Internships, or job opportunities after college.”
“The only thing a sorority will connect me with is a keg stand at a frat house. Oh! Speak of the devil. Did I ever tell you how I practically taught that marine biology summer camp that I went to when you first met me?”
“No.”
“Yeah, the guy who was teaching us how to set up saltwater aquariums didn’t know the first thing about them.”
“I bet you were his favorite person after that.”
“Actually, I kind of was. On the last day of camp, Kevin told me to look him up if I ever got into UCSB. He said he’d try to hook me up with an internship.”
“Okay. So how is all that speaking of the devil?”
“Because Kevin is now the T.A. for my marine ecology class. I might actually get an internship this year, after all. It’s not usually something freshmen are chosen for. But I AP-tested out of all my introductory science courses, so I’m a bit ahead of the game. And with a connection like Kevin, I might pull it off.”
“So you might not have to rely so much on your sorority sisters, after all.”
Julia laughed. “Tiffany’s off the hook.”
When Julia sought out Kevin during his office hours a couple of weeks later, he turned from his computer screen and gave a start to see her.
“Julia.”
“Hi Kevin,” she said, sweeping into the room and drawing up an empty chair. “Sorry if I startled you.”
“No, not at all,” he said, his eyes wide, swiveling around in his own chair to face her. “What brings you here?”
“I have a question about the mock exam you gave us.”
“Oh yeah,” he said after a missed beat, as if he had forgotten that she was his student. “The funny thing is, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question, too. I’m having a problem with the aquarium at my apartment.”
Julia smiled. “So you’re still doing the aquarium thing.”
“Well, yeah. I’ve been keeping aquariums since I was a kid. But my question can wait. How can I help you?”
Julia opened her backpack and pulled the mock exam out of her binder. “It’s this question right here. ‘What factor most determines the upper limit of species boundaries in the rocky intertidal zone?’”
“Right.”
“The other people in my study group think the most important factor is interactions between species, like competition. But I think it’s physiological tolerances.”
“Okay. And why do you think that?”
His question made her doubt herself, but she plunged ahead anyway. “Because few species can tolerate the conditions higher in the intertidal zone.”
“Conditions? What conditions?”
“Well… like heat, and dessication. Marine organisms aren’t well-adapted to those conditions, so they’re not likely to be abundant enough to compete with each other, anyway.”
He leaned back in his chair and smiled. “I think you’ve answered your own question.”
“Great,” she said, filing the mock exam back in her binder. “My study group already thinks I’m a dork and a misfit. Now they can add know-it-all to the list.”
“It seems we’re both a bit out of place here,” he observed.
“Sorry?”
“NorCal types having an out-of-body experience in SoCal.”
Of course. Now that he mentioned it, nothing could be more obvious – he was as much an alien in this land as she was. He was one of her kind.
“Where in NorCal are you from?” she asked.
“The Bay Area.”
She held up a hand in solidarity. “San Francisco.”
“Where in the city?”
“The Sunset.”
He smiled, and it was an easy, genuine smile. She found herself returning it more readily than she meant to. He said, “What are you hoping to do with your degree?”
“I’m hoping to go to grad school and get my doctorate.”
“Is there a particular area of marine biology you’re most interested in?”
“I’ve always wanted to focus on marine mammals.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Really? I would have pegged you as more of a fish kind of girl.”
“Well, fish are great, too. I enjoy looking at them in an aquarium; I just don’t want to study them. On the other hand, I want to study whales, but it’d be kind of hard to keep one in an aquarium, even if I wanted to.” She zipped her backpack and added, “Speaking of aquariums, how can I help with yours?”
“My fish are looking peaked, and I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. It’s almost like the skin around their eyes and the pores of the lateral line is eroding away.”
“Sounds like lateral line disease.”
“Lateral line disease?” Kevin seized the notepad and pen on his desktop. “What causes that?”
“It could be any number of things. If you’re maintaining your tank properly and giving it adequate light, it could be a problem with their diet. Are you feeding them food with stabilized vitamin C? ”
“I think so.” He scribbeled furiously on his pad.
“You might try adding some vitamin B and E. Also, some people think that stray voltage causes it by stressing them out.
He peered over the rim of his glasses at her. “Stray voltage?”
Julia nodded. “Even a small amount of it can wreak havoc on your aquarium.”
He set his pen down and cleared his throat. She realized that he had no idea what she was talking about.
“When appliances around your tank fail – like your pumps, or your lights, or whatever – they can leak stray voltage,” she explained.
“And that can cause lateral line disease?”
“Among other problems. Make sure you’re using a grounding probe in your aquarium.”
“It sounds like science fiction,” he laughed, scrawling on his pad again. “I should have you come over to my apartment and take a look at my tank.”
Julia’s face burned. She felt ashamed, wondering if she had unintentionally led him on. And then she was angry at herself for feeling ashamed. She hadn’t led him on. She had only come to him with a question about an assignment. Couldn’t he see the ring on her finger?
She decided that the best way to sidestep his invitation was to teach him how to do things for himself. “Just get a voltage meter from the hardware store. If there’s any needle movement when you put the probe in the water, you’ve got stray voltage.”
“Okay, so then what?”
“Well, you’ll have to unplug each appliance associated with your aquarium one at a time and retest until you figure out which one is causing the problem. And from now on, check for stray voltage as part of your routine maintenance.”
As she watched him take notes, she wondered if she had been presumptuous before. He might have been as much as ten years older than her. She was struck again by how strongly he resembled Tim in that old photo, before Tim had grown fat and bald. Taken separately, none of the fleshy features of his moon-like face was very handsome at all. His pasty skin contrasted starkly against his black hair and beard.
Yet somehow the sum was greater than its parts. His heavy round shoulders tapered down to a narrower waist. Now that she sat so close to him, the light caught patches of red in his beard. She found the way his dark curls defied structure to be vaguely appealing. He wore black Ray-Ban eyeglasses and a plaid button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows.
He looked like a beatnik, thirty-five years too late.
Finally he tossed the notepad aside, flipped the lid of an oversized travel mug, and took a giant swig of coffee. He leaned back, crossed his ankle over his knee. Held her gaze a moment, then smiled. And though his beard and his pronounced canine teeth gave him the appearance of a yeti, his smile was open and contagious. She once again found herself returning it more encouragingly than she meant to.
He said, “I envy you. You already know exactly what you want to do.” He lifted his travel mug, as if toasting her. “Stay the course.”
“What about you?” she prompted. “Have you always stayed the course?”
“Not always. My first degree was in Finance, which was my dad’s idea. After that, I took two years off to work for the Peace Corps in Brazil, among the Ticuna Indians. It had me re-evaluating everything. I knew I didn’t need to be working in finance, for one thing.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “Money for its own sake isn’t something that interests me. It’s what you do with it that matters.”
“What would you do with it, then?”
“Well… something like the organization my fiancée works for. They do grantmaking for ecological restoration, among lots of other things.”
His fiancée. Julia felt chastened. Now she knew for sure that Kevin hadn’t been hitting on her earlier. “Really? What organization does she work for?”
“The DeSmet Family Foundation. Have you heard of it?”
“You mean the one that does all that underwriting for NPR?”
“That’s the one. They’re providing a huge grant for our internship program this year on the Channel Islands.”
Julia felt her pulse quicken. “I’d like to apply for that. When does the application period begin?”
“In January. But I have to tell you, the last time a freshman got in was seven years ago.” He peered at her a moment, then added, “Put your application in anyway. I think you stand as good a chance as anyone, or better. And since I got them the hook-up on that grant, I’m hoping they’ll let me coordinate the internship program this year. Otherwise, I might have to fall back on what my dad wanted me to do for a living.”
Julia laughed. “Well, at least you can fall back on what your dad wanted you to do. Unfortunately I’m a terrible cook, so I don’t think that plan will work for me.”
“Your dad wanted you to be a cook?”
“He’s a chef.”
“Really? Where?”
“Do you know Dunphy’s Restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf?”
He looked surprised. “Your dad is the Dunphy of Dunphy’s?”
“I’m afraid so. Have you ever been there?”
“No, I don’t think so, but my parents have.”
“Sounds about right. Nobody our age goes there anymore. And since there are no young Dunphys to take up the chef’s mantle, I’m afraid Dunphy’s will pass from this life along with my father.” Julia rose then from her seat and slung her backpack over her shoulders. “Well, thank you for your help.”
“Thanks for yours.” Gathering papers into his own bag, he added, “Where are you headed after this?”
“Back to Anacapa. Lots of studying to catch up on.”
“I’ll walk with you. I’m headed that way, anyway.”
As they spilled out of the Life Sciences Building into the bright sunshine, Kevin remarked, “I still can’t believe your dad owns Dunphy’s.”
“What about yours? Why did he want you to go into finance?”
Kevin cast her a sharp look, and for a moment she worried she had said something to offend him. But then he smiled at her as if he thought she were quaint. “My dad is from New York. His family are all in the banking industry.”
As they crossed the street, Julia spotted Tiffany waving at her from the front entrance of Anacapa Hall. When they all converged, Tiffany cast a significant look at Julia.
“Hey!” she chirped, before aiming a megawatt smile at Kevin .
Kevin, suddenly awkward, turned pointedly away from Tiffany. To Julia he said, “Listen, you can probably tell that I need as much help as I can get with my aquarium. If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you when I have questions about it. You probably know more than the goons at the fish store I’ve been going to. I promise, I’ll keep the pestering to a minimum.”
“Of course,” Julia said.
“Great. See you in class tomorrow,” he said, and nodded briefly at Tiffany before turning to go. When he was out of earshot, Tiffany pounced on Julia.
“Oh my God. What did he say to you?”
Julia raised an eyebrow at her. “Lots of things. Why are you freaking out?”
Tiffany gaped incredulously. “Julia, do you know who that was?”
“Yeah. Kevin. The T.A. for my marine ecology class.”
“Julia. That’s Kevin Beale. As in, Beale Partners. His dad is John Beale.”
“Okay. Who the hell is John Beale?”
Tiffany looked nearly apoplectic at Julia’s stupidity. “Beale Partners. The Silicon Valley venture capital firm. He has forty million dollars, or something like that.”
Julia looked in the direction that Kevin had gone. “Okay, so his dad is loaded. I’ve never heard of him before.”
“No, Julia,” said Tiffany. “ Kevin has forty million dollars. In trust. Just waiting for him.”
In truth, Tiffany had stunned Julia to silence. But as soon as she recovered, she said casually, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“Julia! Out of this whole university of women shamelessly throwing themselves at him, he’s walking around with you .”
“You’re right, that is shameless. He’s engaged.”
“So what? His fiancée is in New York.”
“So you knew he was engaged?”
“Of course I did. Everybody knows that.”
“Well I’m engaged too, you know.”
“And your fiancé is in San Francisco. Meanwhile, you’re here. Kevin’s here. And you do seem like his type. ”
Julia laughed. “What type is that?”
“You know… the brainy type.”
Julia sensed that Tiffany did not consider “brainy” to be a compliment. “Tiffany, he wasn’t ‘walking around with me.’ I was only asking him a question during his office hours. And I’m not into wrecking another woman’s life.”
“Oh, don’t worry; he’s not going to dump her for you. I’m just talking about having a little fun.”
In spite of herself, Julia felt offended. Was it really so impossible that Kevin might seriously consider her?
Tiffany must have read the look on Julia’s face, because she said, “You do know who his fiancée is, don’t you?”
Julia shrugged. “I know she works for the DeSmet Family Foundation in New York.”
Once again, Tiffany looked at her cross-eyed. “Babe, she doesn’t work for the DeSmet Family Foundation. She is the DeSmet Family Foundation.” When Julia still drew a blank, she prompted, “Nicole DeSmet? Banking heiress? Trustee of the whole freaking thing?”
“Well, I guess that settles it, then. He’s not ditching the heiress for some trash from the Sunset. And if it turns out he’s not in love with her, he can just drown his sorrows in all that money.”
At first, everything went according to plan. William exhausted the phone cards Julia gave him, and she sent him letters each week. She came up for her birthday and the holidays, since William couldn’t get away from work, and they spent as much of that time together as they could.
After the holidays were over, their parents balked at the credit card bills, and they had to call each other less frequently. The demands of their coursework intensified. Her letters became more sporadic. Sometimes she forgot when it was her turn to call him. And when he called, she let it ring if she was studying or asleep.
On the rare occasions that they did connect, her talk was full of the work she was doing and the people she was meeting down there. She found herself telling him more and more frequently about Kevin .
“I’m going to help him introduce an anemone into his tank,” she told William one afternoon in February.
There was a long pause. “At his apartment?”
“No, in the men’s restroom of the Life Sciences building.”
Julia’s laughter caught in her throat when William didn’t laugh along with her. He said, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“What?”
“Going to his apartment.”
“You’re not jealous, are you?”
“No,” he said slowly, “but how well do you know this guy?”
“Good God, I’m not as stupid as I look. I wouldn’t go there if I didn’t know him really well by now. Besides, I’ve been there before.”
Another two-beat rest. “You’ve been to his apartment before?”
“Yeah, many times. At first it was because his fish were sick, and none of the suggestions I made were helping. So I went to check it out for myself, and it turned out it was the activated carbon he was using.” When William still said nothing, she added, “Look, maybe if I help this guy with his fish, he’ll help me get into that internship I’ve been wanting. It turns out he’s going to be the coordinator this year. Besides, he’s really very nice. He’s pretty much the only friend I have down here.”
William said nothing more, so she decided to change the subject. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
These days it felt like pulling teeth, trying to get him to tell her anything about himself. “How’s school? How’s the restaurant?”
“Fine.”
She considered prompting him for more information, but by now she knew that if he had anything to tell, he would. Going to school for Hospitality Management just wasn’t his passion. Working at the restaurant wasn’t, either. He was perfectly content to be good enough at something, and to be with Julia. He didn’t seem to want anything more out of life.
Julia came home for spring break. After a hike to the top of the hill where he had given her the mermaid necklace, William stood behind her, his arms clasped around her waist, looking out over the city.
“I have to tell you something,” she began. Steeling her nerves, she turned to face him and clasped his hands. “Kevin came through for me. I got an internship off the Channel Islands this summer. It’s so competitive that I really didn’t think I was going to get it. It’s almost unheard of for an underclassman.”
“That’s great news,” he murmured. “But how many weeks will you be there?”
Her expression changed. “The whole summer.”
He dropped her hands, turned and strode away from her a few feet, his hands in his pockets.
She waited, butterflies in her stomach, then said gently, “Will.”
He turned to face her now. “I should have listened to my gut. I’m coming down there this summer.”
She shook her head. “I’ll be staying on the islands.”
He gave a little huff of frustration, and frowned off into the distance.
She moved toward him, touched his arm. “It’s three months out of our whole lives. Please don’t ask me not to do it.”
His expression softened. “I would never do that.” He picked up her hand, touched the ring on her finger. “I don’t care how long I have to wait.”
She left him expecting to see her in mid-June before she started her internship. Then she called one afternoon after her finals were over.
The first question out of his mouth was, “When will you be in town?”
Her stomach tied itself in knots. “Will, there’s something I have to tell you. I’m afraid you’re not going to like it.”
“Okay?”
“Kevin wants me to stay and help with the preparations for the internship on the Channel Islands.”
A long pause. “You’re not coming home.”
“I would be an idiot to say no.”
With forced composure, he said, “Do you know what this means? By the time the middle of September rolls around, it will have been six months since we’ve seen each other.”
“Did you really mean it when you said you didn’t care how long you would have to wait? Because this opportunity won’t wait.”
He said nothing for a while, and she wondered if he had really been honest with her. Finally, he said, “I did mean that. But I thought we would at least see each other from time to time. That’s what you said when you told me not to come with you to Santa Barbara.” He hesitated, then added, “I miss you.”
“It’s not like this is any easier for me.”
“You’ll have something to occupy your mind,” he said bitterly.
“Yes, I will. Am I supposed to apologize for that? I know you don’t know what you want to do with your life and you don’t love working in the restaurant. But please don’t take your frustration out on me!”
Her sharp tone stunned him to silence. With a pang of guilt, she tried to calm the storm rising in herself and added, “I’m sorry. But I don’t like feeling like I have to choose between you and my lifelong dreams.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“It sure feels like you are. And I won’t do it.”
They sat in silence for a while, widening the gulf between their opposite ends of the phone line.
Finally, he said, “I’ll come down for a few days before you start your internship. I just want to see you once between now and September.”
She sighed. “Even if you come down, I’ll be working all day. We’d only have a couple of hours per day to spend together.”
“That’s fine with me.”
She hesitated. “Okay.”