4. 7
¨Iˇve kept it all these years.〃 She set it on the bed and opened it. ¨I did a bang-up job of convincing myself that I didnˇt love you anymore. But here lies the evidence that I always did.〃
He reached in, pulled out the poems and the songs. Flipped through the photos. ¨I had forgotten about some of these.〃 Holding up the ones of her, he said, ¨Not these, of course. I kept copies of them for myself. I wish I could transport us to my apartment right now. Iˇd show you where I still have them.〃
She reached for his hand. ¨Iˇm sorry for everything back then. I was confused, and scared. But I could never get you out of my heart, no matter how hard I tried.〃
He put her hand to his lips. Then he reached down into the box again, and froze. Slowly, he opened the black velvet box and pulled out the diamond ring inside.
He picked up her hand, and slid the ring on her finger. ¨It still fits you perfectly.〃
¨Will,〃 she said.
¨Itˇs what I always wanted.〃
¨I swear to you, Iˇd wear the ring if it werenˇt for one thing Paige would ask about it.〃
He looked soberly at her. ¨I really think itˇs time for her to meet me.〃
She shook her head. ¨Iˇm not sure about that.〃
¨I am. You donˇt have to introduce me yet as what I am to you. You can just introduce me as William. But itˇs time for her to start getting used to me being around.〃
She peered at him a moment, considering. ¨When?〃
¨Let me take us all out to the Farallones Saturday on my Uncle Frankˇs boat.〃
Her eyebrows lifted. ¨Would he let you do that?〃
¨Iˇve been running Frankˇs boat since I was a teenager. I go out there with him once a week during crab and herring seasons, and as much as possible the rest of the year. I know what Iˇm doing, and he knows it. 〃
¨Wow,〃 said Julia.
At the look on her face, he laughed and said, ¨You donˇt believe me, do you?〃
¨Of course I do,〃 she said unconvincingly.
¨If you donˇt believe me, then how can you believe that I can run the boat of a whale-watching business?〃 She had no answer for him, so he said, ¨Iˇm calling Frank right now. Iˇll let him tell you himself.〃
¨What? No.〃 She tried to stop him, but he laughed and shrugged her off. He reached for the phone on the bedside table.
¨You canˇt call him this late at night,〃 she protested.
¨Heˇs an old insomniac. Besides, Italians keep late hours.〃
¨Heˇs Italian-American. Not the same thing.〃
¨Close enough.〃 He dialed the number, and after the initial greeting and explanation for the call, he said, ¨Tell her honestly what you think.〃
A moment later, he handed the phone to Julia. She accepted it, and awkwardly said, ¨Hello?〃
¨Will is the finest skipper this side of the United States Naval Academy, and Iˇll fight anyone to the death who wants to argue the point with me.〃
¨Jesus. Okay,〃 she said, and handed the phone back to William.
He took it. ¨What did you say to her?〃 After a moment, he laughed, and said, ¨Thanks.〃
He hung up again and turned to her with a grin. ¨Now do you believe me?〃
¨I think you two colluded on this beforehand.〃
He laughed, picked up her hand with the ring and kissed it. ¨Iˇm taking you and Paige Saturday morning. Weˇll make an early start of it, and itˇll be a very short trip because I have to go to work at three. But itˇs happening.〃
¨Aye aye, captain.〃
He looked down at the ring now. ¨Wear it tonight, at least. And promise me one thing.〃
¨Whatˇs that?〃
¨Marry me within the next year.〃
¨If itˇs whatˇs right for Paige too, then I will. 〃
¨Of course it will be. Sheˇll get to see what it looks like when a man really loves her mother. How can that not be whatˇs right for her?〃
She picked up his arm and turned it over. Ran her fingers over the mermaid tattoo, watching the ring pass back and forth over it. Her eyes flitted up to find him watching her with a significant smile.
By way of beginning the subject, she reached for the other arm with the compass tattoo. ¨How long have you had this?〃
¨I got it just before I left for Alaska.〃
¨What was happening in your life when you got this one?〃
His smile faded a bit. ¨To be honest with you, I had been leading a pretty debauched existence for a long time, and I was very burned out. I needed a little direction in life.〃
Her eyebrows lifted. ¨What do you mean, leading a debauched existence?〃
¨I was drinking a bit too much. Smoking a bit too much weed. And〃 He seemed to be struggling for the right words. ¨Having a few too many meaningless relationships.〃
He waited to see how she would react to this last bit of information. She touched the compass, allowing the full meaning of his revelation to sink in.
¨That explains the compass,〃 she said softly after a moment, picking up his other arm again. ¨What about the mermaid?〃
¨I got that when I came back from Alaska.〃 She saw the pain in his eyes, and he didnˇt seem to be able to speak of it anymore. She lifted his arm to her lips, and kissed it.
Frankˇs boat still docked at the same slip where Julia had last seen it eleven years ago. Though she could see the lights on in the cabin, there was no sign of William yet.
¨Mommy, whoˇs the captain?〃 Paige finally thought to ask.
¨Youˇll meet him in just a second.〃 Julia tried in vain to settle the butterflies in her stomach. She called out, ¨Hello? Anyone home?〃
A moment later, William appeared on the deck, waved, and climbed up the ladder to the pier .
¨Paige, this is William,〃 said Julia. ¨Heˇs the captain today.〃
Paige looked up at him, a bit awe-struck. William squatted down and shook her hand. ¨Nice to meet you,〃 he said.
¨You donˇt look like much of a captain to me,〃 said Paige.
¨I forgot my hook and my eye patch,〃 William replied, which earned smiles from both Paige and Julia. ¨I have something for you. Iˇll be right back.〃
He descended the ladder again and went back into the cabin. When he emerged, he carried a child-size life jacket. Paige groaned, and William explained, ¨In case I have to make you walk the plank.〃
¨Then wouldnˇt you want us not to wear them?〃 Paige pointed out.
Williamˇs eyes widened at Julia. ¨Sheˇs a precocious one, isnˇt she?〃
Nevertheless, the pirate theme was working well. Paige suffered the indignity of putting on her life jacket.
¨Now come on board. I have something else for you. Something better than a life jacket,〃 William said.
He descended the ladder first, then helped Paige. Once Julia joined them, he led them into the cabin, where he had a pan of something waiting on the stove. Paige realized what it was when he poured it into her mug and opened a bag of miniature marshmallows.
¨Hot chocolate!〃 she cried.
¨Have a seat,〃 William said. She sat on the bench, and he served her.
With Paige happily engrossed, William turned to Julia. ¨Coffee?〃
¨Nice,〃 Julia said with a grin. ¨Load her up with sugar and keep her in a confined space for several hours.〃
¨Itˇs pure bribery,〃 William confessed, handing her a mug of coffee.
After the hot chocolate, William set the course on the plotter, and then Paige wanted nothing more than to stand at his shoulder and ask him about every piece of equipment as William steered the boat out of the harbor.
¨Paige, he needs to concentrate on what heˇs doing.〃
¨No, itˇs okay,〃 said William.
Julia had another idea. ¨You know what? We should go out on the deck. Weˇre going to sail right underneath the bridge soon.〃
That got Paigeˇs attention, and Julia led her onto the bow to watch the bridge sail right over their heads, as she had all those years ago with William. It impressed Paige so much that she actually shouted, ¨Whoooaa!〃
¨Now come around to the stern,〃 said Julia.
¨I can see the cars on the bridge!〃 shouted Paige when they got there.
They saw porpoises during the journey out to the islands, and of course they saw sea lions and birds on the islands, once they anchored.
¨Where are the whales?〃 demanded Paige when they went inside for lunch.
¨I sent an invitation, but the postal service must run slow in the ocean,〃 replied William.
¨How did you become a boat captain?〃
¨Well, you donˇt really need a license or anything to run a small fishing boat like this. I learned how from my uncle, who owns it.〃
¨So youˇre a fisherman?〃
¨Only sometimes. Most of the time, Iˇm a cook.〃
Paige looked askance at him. ¨Are you sure you know how to run this thing?〃
William turned to Julia and feigned confusion. ¨Do I know how to run this thing?〃
¨According to your Uncle Frank, you do.〃 Julia looked at Paige. ¨He got us here safely, didnˇt he?〃
Paige looked unimpressed. ¨Well, just donˇt sink it on the way back.〃
¨Paige,〃 Julia said sharply.
Unfazed, William said to Paige, ¨I think Iˇm going to need your help getting this thing safely back to port. Are you up for the job? Will you be first mate?〃
Paige tried and failed to look disinterested. She glanced at Julia for permission.
¨Go ahead, if you dare,〃 said Julia.
After lunch, William let Paige help him crank the winch to raise the anchor, though in truth, he did most of the work. He let her steer the boat and help with every aspect of running the boat that he could.
A little distance away from the islands, Julia cried out, ¨Look!〃
A gray whale appeared fairly close to their boat. Paige ran to the port side of the boat to watch it dive a few times and send up its distinctive V-shaped spout. William came out with his camera and took a few photos of the whale, then said, ¨How about a family photo?〃
¨Hurry up, Paige, before the whale disappears.〃 Julia gathered her up against her side, and William took several photos of them with the whale in the background.
¨I donˇt know if the whale will come out in the photo, but youˇll at least have a souvenir of the trip,〃 said William.
After they went back underneath the bridge again, William let Paige come up to the top drive with him and steer the boat back into the harbor, and finally into the slip. As Paige descended to the deck, her only complaint was that the trip was over.
In fact, she clamored around him now, demanding to know when they could do it again.
¨Paige, give him room to breathe,〃 laughed Julia. ¨This is a very special thing William did for us, and itˇs not likely to happen again soon. But maybe we can do something else with him sometime soon.〃
¨We can go crabbing,〃 suggested William.
¨Crabbing?〃 echoed Paige.
William looked incredulously at Julia. ¨You mean to tell me youˇve never taken this kid crabbing?〃
¨No one ever took me crabbing,〃 replied Julia.
William shook his head. ¨That is criminal. Weˇre going to have to do something about that. Next Saturday, at the municipal pier, you and Paige are going to catch yourselves a crab dinner.〃
Paige looked skeptical. ¨I donˇt know if I like crab.〃
¨Well, youˇre going to love catching them, and then you can throw them back if you want,〃 replied William.
¨Paige,〃 Julia said, ¨Williamˇs got to finish up with the boat and then go to his other job. What do you say to him for the fun day?〃
¨Thank you,〃 she piped.
William helped them all back onto the pier and took the life jacket back from Paige. ¨See you two next Saturday,〃 he said.
Over Paigeˇs head, Julia caught his eye and exchanged a warm smile with him as she turned to go.
The following Wednesday night, after tucking Paige into bed, the doorbell rang. Cursing whoever it was, praying that it didnˇt wake Paige, she walked down the stairs and looked through the peep hole.
She did not recognize the male figure on the doorstep. ¨Who is it?〃
¨Julia.〃
Her heart stopped. She looked through the peep hole again. She recognized the voice, but the face did not match it.
¨Kevin?〃
¨Itˇs me.〃
Julia debated whether or not to even open the door. Finally she did, but only to step out onto the doorstep and close the door behind her.
It was him, all right, his face altered by drastic weight loss and too much sun, his eyes bloodshot, his bushy dark hair and beard overgrown and a bit disheveled.
She crossed her arms and glared at him. ¨How dare you come here?〃
He blinked. ¨Your mother told me where you live.〃
¨My mother ?〃
¨I called your parentsˇ house first, when I found strangers living in our house.〃 He peered somberly at her. ¨May I come in?〃
¨No, you may not.〃
¨Is Paige in there?〃
¨Sheˇs sleeping, so you can just go.〃
Kevin shifted his weight and stared down at the ground. Cleared his throat. ¨Julia 〃
¨Where the hell have you been?〃
¨Brazil.〃
¨I know that. They traced you there.〃
¨Who did?〃
Julia scowled at him. ¨Where in Brazil?〃
¨Very, very far in the interior.〃
¨And what have you been doing there for the past six months?〃
¨Staying with an old friend of mine from the Peace Corps whoˇs an ethnographer, studying a tribe in the Amazon. 〃
¨Seriously?〃
¨Julia, Iˇd really like to come in and just talk to you for a second.〃
¨Absolutely not.〃 She considered for a moment, then carefully said, ¨Where are you staying?〃
He shrugged. ¨I guess Iˇm staying at my parentsˇ house.〃
¨Go there, and stay there. Donˇt leave. Weˇll talk tomorrow as soon as Iˇm able.〃
With that, she went back inside and closed the door in his face.
The first thing she did when she got back upstairs was to dial Erinˇs cell phone.
¨He came to my front doorstep just now.〃
¨Who did?〃
¨Kevin.〃
¨What?〃
¨Out of the blue. He said heˇd been spending the past months in the Amazon rain forest.〃
¨Is he still there?〃
¨No. I have no idea what condition heˇs in, mentally or physically. But I got an assurance from him that heˇll be at his parentsˇ house in Atherton tomorrow. Can we serve the papers on him there tomorrow?〃
¨Yes. Let me get started on that right away. And donˇt try to talk to him yourself. Under any circumstances.〃
¨Donˇt worry, I wonˇt.〃
¨And Julia. Youˇd better tell William to lay low for a while. In fact, I wouldnˇt let him come around at all until further notice.〃
Julia contemplated this with a sinking feeling. ¨Why?〃
¨For one thing, if youˇre concerned about Kevinˇs mental state, then you should worry about what he would do if he found William hanging around, particularly with Paige in the house. And secondly, letˇs not give Kevin any more ammunition to use against us in court.〃
¨All right.〃 But privately Julia was not sure how long sheˇd be able to adhere to Erinˇs advice.
The first call Julia made after hanging up with Erin was to her mother.
¨You gave him my address?!〃 she yelled as soon as her mother picked up the phone .
Her motherˇs voice on the other end of the line was maddeningly calm. ¨Heˇs your husband. Heˇs entitled to give his account to you.〃
¨Really? A man leaves his family for no good reason, with no warning, casting serious doubt on his mental well-being; and then he comes back from the middle of the Amazon, looking sickly for all the world, carrying God knows what; and the first place you send him to is the house where his child lives?〃
The line was silent. After a moment, her mother said, ¨If youˇre that worried about your safety, your father can come stay at your house tonight.〃
¨No, I donˇt need any more interference from him or you. Youˇve done quite enough as it is. Stop talking to Kevin, and refrain from sharing your thoughts on my marriage from this point forward.〃
Julia jabbed the button on the phone, hanging up. She held it in her hand a moment, taking deep breaths to calm herself. Then she pushed the button again and dialed Williamˇs cell phone. But of course he was in the middle of dinner service, so she left him a voice mail with the details.
He called her back at the end of his shift.
¨Iˇm still coming over tonight.〃
¨Erin strongly advised against that, for Paigeˇs safety.〃
¨If you think he could hurt you and Paige, then thatˇs all the more reason for me to be there.〃
¨I donˇt really think heˇs capable of that. But I donˇt want him to see you and use that against me in the divorce.〃 Juliaˇs tone softened. ¨Are you worried that heˇs going to steal me away from you?〃
¨No,〃 he said a little too defensively. ¨Youˇd be crazy to take him back.〃
¨Thatˇs right. I swear, youˇre never going to lose me again. Please, letˇs follow the attorneyˇs advice on this point. If only for a little while. Then we can go right back to flipping her the bird and throwing all caution to the wind.〃
He considered for a long time. Finally, he said, ¨Make sure all your doors and windows are locked and the blinds are closed. And Iˇm calling you first thing in the morning.〃
¨Fine, but donˇt worry about us. Weˇll be safe.〃
The next day at work, Erin said, ¨The deed is done.〃
¨Marvelous,〃 replied Julia. ¨Now how do we start working with him to sell the house?〃
¨Iˇm sure weˇll be hearing from his attorney sometime very soon.〃
That night, as Julia walked into her parentsˇ house, Paige ran down the stairs and cried, ¨Mommy! Daddy came back!〃
Paige grabbed her hand and dragged her up the stairs into the living room. Sure enough, there on the living room sofa sat Kevin, beside her mother.
Juliaˇs jaw dropped, and she glared at her mother, who gazed back at her with maddening serenity.
Rage swelled in her chest. ¨How dare you come around here like this?〃 she shouted at Kevin. ¨This child has cried almost every night since you left, and you just come waltzing back, giving me no chance to prepare her?〃
¨Calm down,〃 her mother said, grabbing Paige and shielding her, which only infuriated Julia further. As if Julia was the one that Paige needed protecting from.
Paige looked up at Julia in shock. ¨Mommy, why are you yelling at Daddy? He came home!〃
¨Much better that youˇd kept on playing Indiana Jones in the jungle,〃 Julia sniped at Kevin in response.
To Juliaˇs horror, Paige whimpered and sniffled at her grandmotherˇs side. Shaking with adrenaline as the rage drained from her body, Julia gathered her up and went to sit with her on the love seat.
¨Julia,〃 Kevin said quietly after a moment. ¨There are a lot of things I need to explain to you. So many different things I have to say. Isnˇt there some way we could go back to your house and talk?〃
¨Paige can spend the night here,〃 Juliaˇs mother offered.
Julia scowled at them both, and said nothing. After a moment, Paige whimpered, ¨Mommy, please donˇt make Daddy leave again.〃
¨Perfect,〃 Julia seethed at Kevin. ¨Youˇve made me out to be the bad guy.〃
Kevin knelt in front of Paige and took her by the shoulders. ¨ Paige, sweetie, your mommy has done nothing wrong. Thereˇs a very good reason why sheˇs angry at me. Donˇt blame Mommy for any of this.〃
Paige looked as stunned by his confession as Julia felt, but she said nothing. Then Kevin turned to Julia, waiting for her answer.
¨You have thirty minutes,〃 Julia said through gritted teeth. To her mother, she added, ¨Iˇm picking her up after.〃
Julia and Kevin walked the entire way to Juliaˇs house in silence. She glowered at him as she passed him by, opened the door, and let him inside.
He glanced around himself as he went up the stairs and ascended into the living room. For a moment, she imagined he was passing judgment on the humble surroundings, until he said, ¨Youˇve done well for yourself.〃
¨No thanks to you.〃
Kevin turned to face her. ¨I deserve that.〃