Untitled Part 14
It was obvious she felt embarrassed saying any of it, like it didn't fit the tough little front she always tried to put on.
But my attention snagged completely on the first thing she'd said.
"You heard wrong."
They must have meant the dessert I bought, and she'd mistaken it for me buying it for her specifically.
"How could I knowingly buy you peanut pudding when I know you're allergic?"
She turned to look at me.
"You still remember I'm allergic to peanuts?"
"I thought you bought it because you forgot."
The surprise on her face left me baffled.
Why was something so ordinary worth being shocked over?
"Of course I remember," I said.
She looked like she was a little happy, though she fought hard not to smile.
She only scooted a little closer to me in the seat.
After we got out of the cab, we still had a bit of walking to do.
I was so anxious to get her to the hospital that I picked up my pace without thinking.
It wasn't until we stopped at the crosswalk and waited for the light that I noticed she was breathing hard.
She'd been struggling to keep up with me.
I held out my hand to her.
"Want me to carry you?"
"No."
She took a small step back, then glanced worriedly at my stomach.
"You just got out of the hospital. You're not well."
The light was about to change, so I bent down and lifted her into my arms anyway.
Only then did I explain,
"I've been fine for a while now. Don't worry."
That was when she finally wrapped her arms carefully around my neck.
"I... I'm kind of heavy..."
"Don't be scared," I told her softly.
"I can carry you."
After the doctor prescribed medication and treated Daisy's rash, she stopped looking quite so miserable.
Outside the hospital, the two of us sat on a bench.
I already thought I knew the answer, but I still needed to hear it from her.
"Daisy, why did you want the baby in my stomach to disappear?"
She lowered her head and stared at the tips of her shoes.
I didn't rush her.
After a long while, her lips finally moved.
"Lexi said her mom stopped loving her after she had another baby."
Lexi was a new friend she'd made.
"And that new baby kept hurting you."
Her voice was soft and syrupy, the words clumsy in the way only a child's could be.
"It was like it was in your tummy, eating you up little by little."
"Your belly kept getting bigger, but Grandma June said you were getting skinnier and skinnier, and you looked really sick."
"That made me hate it even more."
She kept her head down the whole time.
Then—drip.
Two tears fell onto her lap, and she kept talking.
"I wanted it to go away, but I didn't want you to get hurt..."
"If you really, really liked it, I would've tried really hard—really hard—to like it too."
"That day... I really didn't mean to."
"You were bleeding so much. It must've hurt so bad. I'm sorry... it was all because of me..."
Her apology came out in broken pieces, mixed with tiny, shaky sobs.
I lifted her into my lap and used a tissue to wipe her tears.
"I'm not blaming you anymore, Daisy."