Chapter 43 #2
“Nayana, the nameless god never witnesses anything. Let alone speaks. There hadn’t been definite proof of their existence for millennia. This could fundamentally change the way our modern beliefs are shaped.”
A buried recollection forced itself to the forefront of my mind, my lips parted, and I stared at Dion.
“Oh gods, Dion. I wonder—”
“What is it?”
“I remember something. Certainly, it’s unrelated, but what if—what if she hinted at the god?”
“Who is she? What do you mean? I don’t follow you.”
“Oh, sorry. There’s a memory I held on to for a long time. One I cherished because of its mystery and a promise of more than a cruel life in my hometown. Something from my teen winters.”
“Share the story with me, will you?”
“Mh. But it’s likely nothing.”
“Even if, then we’ll have spent a few more minutes longer away from Alaiann Palace.”
Nodding, I collected my thoughts. “There was an oracle coming to Credenta every summer solstice celebration.”
“An oracle? They are pure myths. Seers exist, yes. But someone with true oracular vision that they can conjure to their heart’s content?”
“Well, I didn’t claim she was genuine. But every winter, one of the revelry’s attractions had been an oracle. Everyone older than ten winters was invited to ask one question every five celebrations. I visited her three times.”
“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost? Let me guess, she told you that one day, a devastatingly handsome fae prince would whisk you away and fall irrevocably in love with you.”
My face had betrayed me almost on a daily basis during my life. But never before had I switched colors from pale to blood red as fast as I’d done at Dion’s casual use of the concept I didn’t believe in.
Gods, this was my life from now on, wasn’t it? After all, the prince was never holding back his opinions, even if he coated them in humor.
“Can’t you stay serious for once?” Deflection was a valuable tool in my arsenal, and I held on to my shield for dear life.
Chuckling, he tugged me closer and engulfed me in his gigantic frame, drowning me in his scent. “Go on. Why are you so shocked?”
“Because I can’t explain why I forgot all of this during the last winters. After all, her words have engraved themselves into my memory.”
“Then what did she say?”
Melancholy washed over me, and I allowed myself a quiet while of reminiscing.
“Promise me not to laugh. It’s rather silly.” What if my ten-winter-old self was somehow connected to the reason for all the trouble I was in?
“I bet you were an adorable girl.”
“Princeling—”
“Oh well, fine. I won’t laugh.”
“Good. I’ll smother you in your sleep if you do.”
“Violent tiny creature. I like it.”
Huffing, I glared at the insufferable bastard, but his teasing had at least taken the brunt of my embarrassment.
“When I was ten winters old, I was so excited to see the oracle. Rewi had been visiting her on the celebration the previous winter, as her birthday is on summer solstice, and mine is ten moons later. Gods, had I been jealous. Anyway, I was obsessed with fantasy tales about heroes and their deeds. So, uhm, I asked her how someone could become a hero. Don’t look at me like that, Dion. You promised not to laugh.”
“I’m not even smiling.”
“But you want to.”
“Yes, because you were a cute little girl.”
A very unladylike sound escaped my throat, but instead of arguing with him any longer, I continued my tale. “Her answer—I haven’t forgotten one word.”
“What did the oracle reply?”
Never had I trusted anyone with Madame Namtar’s lecture, the one who’d introduced me to anxiety more than my father’s educational methods, even though I couldn’t name a single good reason for my discomfort.
Dragging the memories back into a divine crypt where the air was still heavy with the afterglow of the gods’ presences felt twice as bad, but as I glanced at Dion and found only serious interest in his features, I gathered my courage and spoke, even imitating the oracle’s melodic rhythm from back then.
“There is nothing wrong, child, with being ignored by the greater fates. The moment when destiny comes face to face with you and acknowledges your existence is one to be truly terrified. Being seen by forces beyond your comprehension may be tempting and seem grand in theory, but living under the thumb of fate is a very, very bad thing because your life is not your own anymore. No one tells you that being a hero means that you swap the one glorious moment of greatness for a myriad occasions of pain, torture, and heartbreak. No, child, don’t aspire to be more than you are.
Plead for destiny to ignore you. I certainly pray for you. ”
“She’s accurate.”
“Painfully so.”
“There’s a reason I’d chosen the more villainous path. Altruism doesn’t suit me well.”
“You’re more heroic than you want to admit; only your means are very questionable.”
“Lately, I’ve become a big supporter of the sentiment that even a villain can get the female he desires.
And since the destruction of the worlds is counterproductive to my goal—spending my entire lifetime with you—I’ll drink the bitter potion and pretend to be a hero for a while.
But don’t get me wrong. The only people I give a fuck about are you and me.
Whoever else gains an advantage from my heroism can call themself a beneficiary of coincidence.
And safe to say—in the end, I will win your heart. ”
“Oh, Dion—”
“But let’s not have that discussion again. Have you memorized anything else? Maybe from the other two times?”
“Yes. Five winters later, I was still scared senseless by her warning. But I thought myself to be clever and asked her how I could determine that fate had cast an interest in me. My goal was to heed her advice and become invisible.”
“Didn’t work out so well, hm?”
“Shush. Honestly, I left the tent more unsettled than I’d entered the oracle’s den.
I’ll quote you some highlights.” I collected my thoughts for a second, then continued.
“Fate sneaks up on you, takes you, shapes you, and also breaks you apart. Rewards may be high for the successful, but trust me, it’s not worth it.
I see intelligence in your eyes, but also a longing for more written in them.
Oh, child—I beg you to take my words seriously.
Accept your lot in life, and don’t strive to be more than you are.
Otherwise, you will set yourself on a path of unnecessary pain. ”
Dion’s lip quivered. “Fifteen-winters-old Naya secretly hadn’t given up on being heroic, had she?”
“Shut up, princeling. You’ve been where I grew up, all naive and sheltered.
I wanted to avoid the eyes of fate, as I just told you.
And today, I see right as rain that true heroes don’t exist, and if they were real, they wouldn’t come in the form of a powerless village girl and a sentient god complex hosted in the body of a morally bankrupt fae prince. ”
“We are quite the power couple, hm?”
“Only in your dreams.”
“How do you know that you feature in every single one of my dreams?”
Was this how my situation would be from now on?
Would Dion turn everything into blatant attempts at flirting?
This was a side of the prince I needed to get used to—the overwhelming suitor, giving his all to make me cave to his efforts.
My cheeks were full of blush once more as I shook my head at the fae who held me captive in his gaze like a panther ready to pounce.
“Do you want to embarrass yourself further, or can I continue with the rest of the story?”
“One day, Nayana. One day—“
If he didn’t stop constantly chipping away at my sanity, I feared he would be right about that. “Are we done then?”
“No. What was your last question?”
“She didn’t let me ask one.”
“You didn’t visit the oracle?”
“Oh no, I’ve been to her and left a thief, I’m afraid.
Honestly, maybe this last consultation was the most terrifying of them all.
So yes, we had a conversation. But she didn’t let me ask the very sensible question I’d prepared in advance.
Instead, she rambled about crossroads, about summoning courage, about how this time was the calm before the storm, and about all players moving onto the board.
When I left her tent, I carried a scarf.
If the oracle gave the cloth to me or if I took it by accident, I can’t remember.
The thing was just there. Of course, I wanted to hand the item back, but as I turned around, the tent was—gone.
Soon after, I must have forgotten everything. ”
“How ominous.”
“You don’t have more to contribute?” My eyebrow shot up high, then a groan made itself known. “She also ranted about how I should remain in blissful ignorance for a while longer. Dion—do you assume she saw what was coming for me?”
“Yes, sounds possible.” He tapped his finger on his chin repeatedly. “There has never been a recorded oracle in existence. At least not to my knowledge. But from what you experienced—this woman might have been genuine.”
“How can you sound so cool about this?”
“Why not? Just because an alleged oracle mentioned you’re in this situation because fate found a liking in you—something I can wholeheartedly understand—and decided you deserve the chance to have your wish of being a hero fulfilled? In the end, walking this path has been your own choice, right?”
“But—”
“No but. You can still back out, Naya. Return home and never think about any of it. In theory at least, from a destiny standpoint. In reality, I’d never let you leave my side ever again, so there’s that.
Still, nothing fate nudges will set the future in stone.
Sure, ignoring a greater calling would be ill-advised, but not impossible. ”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Fuck, Nayana, have you been horrified and believed everything was predestined? That fate was oppressing you?”
“Oh, shut up, princeling. Let’s leave before the priestess decapitates you. I’m rather invested in your pretty head staying attached to your neck.”
“Aww, you called me pretty. Are you fond of my head, Nayana?” Dion’s eyes twinkled mischievously, but at least he didn’t idle any longer, and together, we abandoned the crypt.
“No. But I’m marveling at how your little neck can carry something so bloated.”
Instead of dignifying me with a retort, Dion growled in mock warning, a playful sparkle in his eyes.
“Do we have to return to the palace?” My desire to face the assembly of asshole fae under the lead of High King Fuckface was nonexistent. Not today, preferably never again.
“Yes, Naya. If I don’t report that the gods judged me and my courtship to you as worthy and that they witnessed my promise to you, Galrach will find a way to twist our absence to his advantage.”
“You’ll tell him the truth?”
“Except that the nameless god of fate spoke to us, yes. It’ll lead to enough questions about why they witnessed the act in the first place.”
“Why not omit them completely?”
“Because Galrach will contact the clergy, who’ll confirm that they registered three divine signatures, strong and long enough to prove the presence of the gods without a doubt.”
“Shit.”
“Yes, I agree. Shit.”