Chapter 12
EVAN
For the rest of that night, I was totally discombobulated.
My mind wandered as I folded laundry at ten PM after Effie had gone to sleep.
I’d had more than one fight with a bottom bed sheet as I struggled to get it folded, but at least it kept me from storming into Chloe’s room, which I’d almost done numerous times.
The words had been at the tip of my tongue earlier: “Don’t leave. ”
But what was one good reason she shouldn’t?
Because I liked looking at her? Because she made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a very long time?
Because my daughter was growing fonder of her by the day?
That last one was actually dangerous. It was probably better if she left before Effie got attached, or before I said or did something I’d regret when Chloe inevitably left Dry River again.
And yet…I still had to fight the urge to tell her not to take the other place in town.
My phone rang, and I answered as quickly as possible so Effie wouldn’t wake up. “Hey, Uncle Drew.”
“I haven’t heard from you in a while. Just checking in.”
Drew was my mother’s younger brother and only a few years older than me.
Back when she was sick, he’d been away at college and not in a position to take her place as a parent to me.
But in the years since, he’d become like a big brother and my closest confidante.
He was married now with two kids, my cousins Caden and Bryce, who were eight and seven.
Effie and the boys were like three peas in a pod.
Drew and his family were the only living blood relatives I had anywhere nearby.
“Things have been a bit hectic,” I told him.
Figuring I had nothing to lose, I filled him in on the situation with Chloe. He’d known her family forever, and I’d opened up to him over the years about what had gone down between her and me. He was as shocked as I was that she’d ended up living in my rental home.
“What do you think about her now, after all these years?” he asked.
“She’s as dangerous as ever, just for different reasons.” I sighed. “Anyway, there’s a chance she might be moving out tomorrow. Another place just opened up.”
“Do you want her to move out?”
Fuck no. I fluffed one of Effie’s shirts. “I think it’s better, don’t you?”
“I’m not sure. Sounds like having her around has been a good change of pace, even if it was just to take the trash out.”
The trash? My eyes widened. “You talking about Naomi?”
He chuckled. “I never liked her for you. Nothing against her. I just think you can do better. I think you were settling because you don’t have the time or energy to venture outside of Dry River right now. And who can blame you?”
“How do you figure I was settling?” I asked, genuinely curious. Sometimes Uncle Drew seemed to know me better than I knew myself.
“You said you liked the fact that she traveled for work because it gave you a break from each other.” He scoffed.
“Man, that tells me everything I need to know. Maura goes away with her friends for a weekend, and I’m counting the minutes until she comes home.
That’s the way it should be. Especially so early in a relationship, you shouldn’t want space. ”
He wasn’t telling me anything that deep down didn’t ring true. “You might have a point about that.”
“But perhaps the biggest reason it wouldn’t work is because Effie doesn’t like Naomi,” he added.
“There’s no fixing that or getting around it.
Anyone you bring into your life has to have her approval.
That little girl might only be eight, but she’s a smart cookie and a good judge of character.
Effie is your priority, and that doesn’t leave much time for anything else.
So, if you’re gonna be leaving her to spend time with someone, it needs to be worth it, you know? ”
I’d often depended on Drew and Maura to babysit when I went out on the occasional date and then when I’d started seeing Naomi exclusively. But I’d tried not to rely on them too much. That left me little time to venture out without my daughter. I didn’t like leaving Effie with just anyone.
He sighed. “Anyway, back to Chloe… If anything about her leaving bums you out, you should suck it up and tell her there’s no reason she needs to go to the other place, unless of course she prefers the privacy.”
I heard footsteps behind me. Then Effie appeared in the doorway of the small laundry room.
“I gotta go, Uncle Drew. Effie woke up. I’ll call you again soon,” I said before I ended the call. “Hey, baby. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“I want to make sure you’re washing my ballet leotard.”
“Yup.” I patted the pile. “It’s all folded and ready to go.”
She rubbed her eyes. “I can’t sleep.”
I grabbed the pile of her clothes to take to her room. “Let’s get you back in bed.”
She followed me down the hall, and I first set everything on her bureau, then began putting each item in the appropriate drawer.
When I tucked her in, Effie grabbed my wrist and ran her little finger along the beads. “Do you like your bracelet?”
I looked down at the blue and white beads and the letters that spelled Daddy. “I love it. I told you, I’m not gonna take it off.”
“Do you think Chloe meant it when she said she wouldn’t take hers off, either?”
“I don’t know, sweetie pie.” That prompted me to prepare her for what might be coming tomorrow.
“You know Chloe’s not here forever, right?
In fact, there’s a house that just opened up in town.
And she might take it. She’s thinking about it.
I don’t want you to make her feel bad if she decides to leave, okay?
We can still keep in touch with her if she does. ”
A look of worry crossed Effie’s face. “I guess that’s okay if she does…” Then she said, “But I hope she stays.”
I nodded. Me, too.
“She told me about her mom,” Effie added.
“What did she say?”
“She said her body is there, but her mind isn’t.”
“That’s a good way to describe it.” I nodded. “It’s called Alzheimer’s disease.”
“It’s the opposite of my mom. Her body isn’t really here. But she’s always on my mind.”
Her words hit me like a blow to the chest. “That’s a very smart analogy, baby.”
“I know it’s not the same, but I feel like Chloe and I both know what it’s like not to have our moms. And you don’t have your mom either, Daddy.”
I sat with that for a moment, letting the profound sadness of her words wash over me.
Effie kept so much inside about her mother.
And the mention of her grandmother reminded me how much Mom would’ve loved her granddaughter.
My mother had always wanted a girl, and she would’ve been the best grandmother to Effie.
“Your mom loves you,” I said. “Even if she’s not here.” I paused, sick of making excuses for Katerina, but always feeling like I had to in order to protect Effie. “I hope you know how much I love you, too.”
“I do.”
I bent to kiss her head. “Get some sleep. Homemade waffles in the morning.”
“Yay!” She beamed.
Whenever Effie was sad, I tried to compensate with food. Even if it didn’t solve the root problem, if it gave her something to look forward to, then I considered that a win.
As I returned to the laundry room to finish the last of the folding, I again got the urge to burst into Chloe’s room and tell her not to take the other place. But I resisted for all the same reasons that had kept me from telling her to stay when she’d first gotten the phone call.
After I finished the laundry, I took a long shower to wash away the stress of the day.
As was often the case lately, I refrained from jerking off because I knew I’d picture Chloe.
And that would only make this predicament worse.
Needless to say, it had been a long-ass time since I’d gotten relief.
And now that my relationship was in the toilet, who the hell knew when I’d get laid again.
Before bed, I headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. As I turned on the sink, I heard Chloe’s voice behind me.
“Hey,” she said, almost a whisper.
I turned. “Hi.”
“So, I’ve been going back and forth about the house that opened up, and I was thinking maybe I should take it, you know since—”
“Don’t.” The word practically flew out of me.
Her eyes went wide. “Don’t?”
“Don’t. It’s a waste of money when you can just stay here. But that’s not the reason.” I took a deep breath in. “Effie likes having you around.” I paused. “I like having you around. I wanted to say it earlier, but I kept debating whether I should.”
Wow. That admission had come out like a runaway train. I guess I didn’t have as much control over myself as I’d thought.
“Well…” She smiled in surprise. “I like being here, too. And while I knew how Effie felt, I think my biggest reason for leaning toward leaving was because you didn’t try to convince me to stay. But now that you did…I feel better about turning down the other place.”
“And I think you should move into my bedroom.”
Her jaw nearly hit the floor. That hadn’t come out right.
I shook my head. “Fuck. I didn’t mean with me. I meant I think we should trade rooms. Mine is bigger and has a desk in the corner. You could use that for work. We can switch everything over tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I don’t need all that space because I don’t work as much from home. You do. It makes sense. You shouldn’t have to work at the kitchen table—unless you prefer it.”
“Well, that’s even more of a reason not to leave.” She looked down, then up at me. “But truthfully, I didn’t need an extra reason to want to stay.”
Fighting the euphoria that came over me, I cleared my throat. “Good then.”
For a brief moment, my world felt somewhat aligned with my desires. That is, until there was a knock on the door.
“Are you expecting someone?” She looked toward the front of the house.
“No.” I shook my head. “Definitely not at this hour.”
I went to the window and looked out. “It’s some dude I don’t recognize. He can stay outside.”
She rushed over to the door and peeked through. “Oh no,” she muttered. “Shit.”
“What?” My fists tightened.
“He’s here for me.”
“Who is he?”
She swallowed. “My boyfriend.”