Chapter 20
CHLOE
My hands shook as I gripped the steering wheel when I left Dad’s. The last moments of my visit with him had been a blur. After he dropped that bombshell, I’d lost the ability to think.
Overcome with jealousy, I reached for my phone to dial my sister. This couldn’t wait until I got back to Evan’s. Plus, I needed to talk to her in private to hear exactly what happened from her first.
It kept ringing. There was no answer.
I couldn’t get myself to leave a voicemail because what would I even say?
Instead, I kept dialing over and over in the hopes that she’d pick up. She might’ve been at her nanny job, where she worked all hours. Finally, on what seemed like the hundredth attempt, she answered.
“Chloe, what’s going on? I was in the middle of changing the baby and figured I would call you back when I was done. I just put him down to sleep. How come you keep—”
“I need to talk to you,” I said, cutting her off.
“Is it Mom? Did something happen?”
“Everything is fine with Mom. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just left Dad’s, actually.”
“You went to see Dad?” She sounded understandably surprised.
“I did.”
“Wow. Okay. How was it?”
“It was fine, and I’ll fill you in on that later. There’s something I need to talk to you about first.”
“What?”
My heart thundered in my chest. “Dad mentioned something that I never knew before. I don’t know if you specifically kept it from me, but I need you to be honest.”
“Jeez. Okay. What the hell is it?”
I slowed my speed a bit as I continued to drive. “It has to do with Evan Ricci.”
“All right. What about him?”
“Dad alluded to Evan moving out all those years ago because of…” I paused. “What happened between you and him? And I need you to tell me the truth.”
“Okay, but first I need you to tell me why you’re worried about this right now. It was so damn long ago.”
Not for me it wasn’t. Those years were still like yesterday, especially as of late. Panic gripped me. I could hardly breathe. I wasn’t ready for whatever she was about to say. “Hang on,” I told her. “I need to pull over.”
“What’s going on with you, Chloe?”
“I’ll explain after you tell me what happened between you and Evan,” I practically shouted.
“Nothing happened between Evan and me. That was the issue.”
Her denial felt like someone had shot me with a tranquilizer, but I was still confused. “Be more specific,” I urged.
“Well, after you moved away to school, it was just him and me living with Mom and Dad. I’d recently broken up with Tommy.
The house felt different with you gone, and without you around occupying his attention, Evan and I started hanging out more.
I knew you two were close and had wondered if anything ever happened between you.
I actually asked him that, and he swore it hadn’t.
That made me feel better about trying to get close to him. ”
I bit my nail. “How close did you get?”
“We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re asking.”
That was definitely what I’d been digging for. Calm washed over me. As I leaned my head back against the seat, I let out all the breath I’d been holding. But just when I felt nearly euphoric, Fawn had to go and ruin it.
“We did kiss.”
My jealousy returned in an instant. It hurt to find out my sister had experienced something with Evan that I never had.
I gulped and forced out the words. “What was that like?”
“You really want to know?” She laughed.
“Yes.”
“It was obviously good—at first. The guy could kiss. But I’m sure you already figured that. It was me who initiated it.” She hesitated. “It didn’t last long, though. We kissed for maybe a minute before he pushed back and stopped things from going any farther.”
I swallowed. “Did he say why?”
“Not really. He just told me he couldn’t do it. He left the room, and after that, he avoided me.”
“You never discussed it with him?”
“Nope. And a couple of weeks later, he told Mom and Dad he’d found another place to stay and was moving out.
He thanked them for all of their help and promised to keep in touch.
But once he left, we didn’t see much of him.
Eventually I confessed what happened to Mom, and we assumed I was the reason he’d moved. ”
“Wow,” I said, reaching for my bottle and downing some water.
“Then eventually, I heard he’d met someone and gotten married.” Fawn paused. “Gosh, this was so long ago. Why are you bringing it up tonight?”
Here we go. “Because I’m actually living with Evan at the moment.”
“Oh my God. What?”
After nearly giving my sister a heart attack, I explained the whole situation, still parked on some random street.
“I can’t get over this,” she said when I’d finished.
“I assume his story will match yours if I ask him about it?”
“Stop being paranoid, Chloe. I told you everything.” She sighed.
“Look, it was a dick move for me to try to get with him after you left. I knew you had had feelings for him. I wasn’t very mature back then, even though I was the older sister.
But I was attracted to him, too, and thought I’d shoot my shot.
You were away living your life at school, and I was stuck in Dry River.
I figured what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you, especially after he confirmed that nothing had happened with you two.
But it was still a mistake. And it took me a bit to get over the rejection, which I suppose served me right for making a move in the first place. ”
Still obsessed, I had more questions. “What did Evan say to you when he pulled away from the kiss?”
“I don’t remember the exact words, but it was something about him not seeing me that way, and he didn’t want to cross the line with someone who was like family.” She paused. “When I asked him if it had anything to do with you, he denied it.”
That hurt a little. “Well, that makes two of us who got rejected by Evan, then.” I laughed. “He’d turned me down before I went away to school.”
“Really? What happened?”
“I’ll tell you the story another time.” I closed my eyes in shame.
Reducing my relationship with Evan to the moment he’d turned me down, though, wasn’t a fair portrayal. Fawn would never understand the bond he and I had developed back then. And I certainly couldn’t explain it in one phone call.
She chuckled. “I’m shocked that Dad knew Evan’s moving out had anything to do with me. Mom must’ve told him after I confessed to her that I’d scared Evan away. Anyway, since you’ll see him tonight, you should smack him upside the head for both of us.” She sighed. “Kidding.”
“He’s actually turned out to be a really good guy, Fawn. You should see how he is with his daughter.”
“So you’re telling me nothing has changed?”
“What do you mean?”
“You still have it bad for him…”
I chose not to respond to that. Instead, I changed the subject and told her about my breakup with Scott as I started the car and resumed driving.
By the time I hung up with my sister, I was already parked in front of Evan’s. I was grateful to have reached her. If I hadn’t, I might not have gotten any sleep tonight. Now I just had to hope Evan’s story matched hers when I asked him about it—as soon as possible.