Chapter 9 Losing Control
Losing Control
Kai to Tess: I wish we could do that again… [unsent]
Tess
“Tell me everything he said.”
After picking me up, Kai drove us straight to his place. Now we’re sitting in his living room, the tension between us thick as we try to unravel the meaning behind that guy’s cryptic words.
“He said something about me being… busy,” I say, wracking my brain. “And then—wait, yeah—he said that some things are harder to bury than others.”
Kai’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything.
“There’s more,” I add quickly. “He also said it’s a small world, and you never know who’s watching.”
“Did you notice anything strange about him? Anything that stood out?”
“He had an accent,” I recall after a moment, the memory snapping into focus. “Russian, maybe? Or German? I’m not good with accents.”
Kai’s jaw clenches so tightly I hear his teeth grind. His expression hardens, the temperature in the room seeming to drop.
“What is it?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“The men who broke into your flat,” he says slowly. “They were the Russian Mafia.”
“What?” I shriek, leaping to my feet.
“This is why I didn’t tell you before,” he says, standing as well. “I didn’t want you to freak out.”
“Of course I’m freaking out, Kai! The fucking Mafia?”
“Do you have any idea why they’d be interested in you?” His eyes pin me in place, sharp and unyielding. “Tess, I need you to be honest.”
“What the fuck?” My voice rises. “No! Why the hell would I have anything to do with the Mafia?”
“You need to calm down—”
“Calm down? Fuck you, Kai!” I shout, my chest heaving. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this sooner!”
Before he can respond, I whirl around and storm upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind me. My legs buckle, and I slide to the floor, my back pressed against the door as the weight of the evening crushes me.
What the fuck is happening?
The Mafia.
This isn’t real. This can’t be real. I’m a fucking gym receptionist, for fuck’s sake. I haven’t done anything to deserve this kind of attention.
Tears spill down my cheeks, and a broken sob escapes my throat. The events of the night swirl in my mind, too overwhelming to process.
“Tess?” Kai’s voice comes from the other side of the door, softer now.
“Go away,” I manage, my voice shaking.
“Please,” he murmurs. “Don’t cry.”
“Leave me alone,” I snap.
There’s a long pause, then I hear a quiet thunk, like he’s rested his head against the door.
“Goodnight, Hurricane,” he says softly, his voice filled with something I can’t place.
I don’t respond, but I sit there for a long time, his words echoing in my mind as my tears continue to fall.
Kai
I shut myself in my office and dial Enzo. It’s late, but I’m praying he answers.
“Kai,” he answers immediately, his tone brisk. “I was just about to call you.”
“Tell me you’ve got something,” I demand.
“Did something happen?” There’s an edge of urgency in his voice that’s not like him.
“One of the Russians threatened Tess today.”
“Bastardi,” he spits. There’s a tense pause. “Yeah, I’ve got something. I’m heading to England now.”
“What?” I sit up straighter. “Why?”
“I can’t discuss this over the phone.”
A cold knot tightens in my chest. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“I’ll explain when I get there. Just keep her safe until then.”
“Obviously.”
“I’ll land in eight hours.”
The line goes dead, and I lower the phone, staring at it as my thoughts spiral. What the hell has he uncovered?
Knowing I won’t sleep now I busy myself on my computers. I may not be able to find anything on Tess, but I know that Nate will be eager for his next victim, so I get searching.
A woman came through one of the shelters not long ago.
From what Carina managed to get her to divulge she’d been brutally gang raped by her husband and his friends.
That’s the kind of sick fuck that deserves Nate’s version of justice.
Just because I don’t like to get my own hands dirty doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the need for that style of revenge.
I find out all the information I can on the woman's husband then send it through to Nate on the secure line I set up for him. It’s completely untraceable and the message will delete itself after twenty-four hours.
I must fall asleep in my chair because I’m jolted awake by a knock at my office door. Then, “Kai?” Tess’s quiet voice follows. “Are you awake?”
I don’t move to open the door, refusing to trust myself around her. “Yeah.”
The door creaks open, and I curse myself for not locking it.
“What do you want, Tess?” I ask, scraping a hand down my jaw. My tone comes out harsher than I intended, but I don’t bother to soften it.
She huffs, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. She moves to stand directly in front of my desk, looking far too comfortable invading my space.
“I can’t sleep.”
My jaw clenches. “What do you want me to do about it?”
“Well, you’re not sleeping either,” she says, shrugging as if that’s reason enough. “So... entertain me?”
I keep my expression blank. “I’m not in the mood, Tess.”
“Too bad.”
Before I can respond, she hops up onto my desk, right in front of my keyboard, and my eye twitches.
“Watch it,” I warn, my voice low.
“Live a little,” she quips, swinging her legs like she doesn’t have a care in the world.
I grip the armrests of my chair, trying not to give her the reaction she’s clearly fishing for.
“You know,” she starts, tilting her head with that maddening, knowing smile. “You’re nicer than you pretend to be.”
My eyes narrow, but I stay silent.
“You act like I annoy you,” she continues, undeterred, “but I think you’re scared.”
“Scared of what, exactly?” I challenge, taking the bait.
“Losing control.” Her gaze locks onto mine, steady and unyielding, and I hate how accurately she’s called me out.
She’s right.
I’m not annoyed with her. Not really. Despite her incessant rambling, her mess, and her pert ass perched on my desk like it belongs there... I like her.
Her presence is like a balm, soothing something raw and aching inside me, and that scares me more than I’d ever admit.
Tess leans back on her hands, legs swinging. “Why don’t you let anyone in?”
I freeze, her question slicing through me. “I do.”
“Yeah, right,” she snorts.
“I let Nate in. Carina… sometimes.”
“Okay, so why won’t you let me in?” What am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing, Tess. Not a fucking thing.” I sigh with exasperation, raking my fingers through my hair.
She grins, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of me.
I clench my fists tighter. “You’re exhausting.”
“Admit it, Kai. You’d be bored out of your mind without me.”
I narrow my eyes. “Go to bed.”
She ignores me, of course. “You know, you could try smiling. Just once. It’s not that hard. Here, watch—”
“Tess.” My voice is sharp enough to cut glass.
She pauses, tilting her head, her tone shifting. “It’s okay, you know. To let someone see you. The real you.” She says it so softly, her words digging under my skin like they belong there.
Her gaze locks on mine, and something inside me snaps.
Before I can think better of it, I’m out of my chair, closing the space between us in two strides. She doesn’t flinch when I step into her space, her lips parting as if to speak, but I don’t give her the chance.
My hands cup her face, her wide eyes are dilated, looking at me with a hopefulness that crushes my willpower.
I crash my lips against hers. It’s messy, raw—more of a battle than a kiss—but when her hands fist my shirt, yanking me closer, I know I’ve lost.
Lost the fight. Lost control.
I kiss her with everything I have, and she gasps against me as her body rocks against mine. My dick strains against my joggers.
I jerk my mouth off hers. Instead of pulling away I kiss down her jaw, her neck. I pull her closer, her body heat radiating through her clothes. “Kai,” she whispers as her head lolls backwards. The motion pushes her tits closer towards me, teasing me.
I bring one hand up to cup her perky breast, finding her without a bra, the soft flesh, warm beneath my palm and covered only by thin cotton.
A low growl slips from my throat and her head snaps to mine.
I push her top higher up, exposing the smooth, pale skin beneath until her chest is free.
I lower my teeth to her nipple, biting the pointed bud and she arches into me.
Tess moans and the sound goes straight through me, sending all my blood rushing south.
I release her nipple then lift her into my arms, clutching her under her thighs and carrying her out of my office. Her lips latch onto mine as I stumble to my room, kicking the door open with my foot.
She gets tangled in her top in her haste to remove it, I help force it over her head then do the same with my own as our mouths separate for a fraction before crashing back together.
Lowering her onto the bed I trail my lips down over her, kissing her, tasting her. Her collarbones. Her breasts. Her stomach. I peel her sleep shorts off her legs then kiss my way back up until I’m hovering above her soft red curls.
“You’re a natural redhead.”
She laughs and slaps my head gently. “Oh god, I haven’t shaved.” She tries to push my head away.
I growl, my hold on her hips firm. “I don’t care about that, Tess. Let me taste you.” I look up at her with hooded eyes to see the same desire reflected back at me.
She gives a small, jerky, nod and I take the green light.
I flick my tongue out to swirl her clit then flatten it to run it over her slit.
I part her lips with my fingers and slide my tongue up from her entrance to her swollen clit.
Teasing as it pulses against my tongue. I latch on and suck.
Her hips buck wildly against my head, hands tangling in my hair, twisting and pulling like she’s not sure whether she wants to hold me closer or pull me off her.
“Kai, please,” she whimpers.
I lift my face from her cunt, feeling her arousal coating my chin. “Ride my face.”
“Oh… no we need to do that. Really. I don’t think—”