12. Sloane
SLOANE
“Well, I have to say, you may be the first student I’ve seen who wanted to transfer out of Mr. Kincaid’s class.
Most of the kids I have coming in here are trying to find a way into his class.
” My counselor Mrs. Langford, an older Black woman with glasses that sit on the tip of her nose, stares at me from the other side of her desk while she types into her computer. “Any reason you want to transfer?”
Yes, I slept with him, and I lied, and now he hates me, and I’m pretty sure if I stay in his class, there’s a good chance he’ll fail me out of spite.
I think about how angry he looked when I went to his office.
How shocked he looked when I showed up in his class, and the moment of hurt that flickered across his face when he realized how much I’d lied about.
“I… just think an honors class may be too advanced for me.” I swallow down the tears that have been building ever since I talked to River earlier.
Those eyes that were once so warm were now full of anger and contempt.
She drags her eyes from the computer to me and gives me a look that tells me she doesn’t believe that reason. “You’re taking three AP courses,” she says in reference to the college-level classes that I enrolled in.
Sell it better, Sloane. “Science just really isn’t my thing.”
“Aren’t your parents research scientists? I imagine science would be in your blood.” She laughs before taking a sip from her coffee mug that has a picture of who I imagine is her granddaughter. I don’t respond, but I offer a weak smile that I hope she accepts. “No other reason?”
“Nope.” I shake my head, and I do my best to keep my face impassive. No, there's no reason I’d want to transfer out of the class of one of the most popular and beloved teachers at the school.
“Well, honey,” she says with an understanding smile, “with your course load, I don’t see any reason this would be too much for you.
And unfortunately, with your schedule, this is the only thing that works if you want to graduate on time in May.
If you really find yourself struggling in the next few weeks, come and see me, and we will figure something out.
But I think you should stick it out for now, okay?
” Her tone is warm and comforting, and if she wasn’t putting me in the most difficult situation, I’d say this was a very positive first experience with a guidance counselor.
“Okay.” I wince, because what can I say? I don’t have a better reason, and I don’t think offering the truth will help River or me, no matter how sweet my counselor seems.
But I mean, technically, I couldn’t get suspended for sleeping with a teacher before I even knew who he was, right? Yes, I lied, but the school couldn’t punish me for that, right? I lied to a guy I wanted to sleep with… not my teacher?
Fuck! Why didn’t I just come clean about everything this past weekend?
Well, it wouldn’t have mattered. You’d still be attending the school where he taught, and he would still be your teacher. And you’d still be in this mess.
True, but at least we could have prepared for seeing each other in this setting.
“You sure you’re okay, hon?”
“Yes.” I nod. “Of course. It’s all just a bit overwhelming. Being in a school for the first time in so long.” I laugh it off as I stand, and Mrs. Langford stares at me closely.
“Well, my door is always open. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Right.” I do my best to sound chipper, but I worry it comes off forced and fake. “Thank you for your time,” I tell her before I leave the office.
Great.
I spend the following morning practically hiding out in the bathroom between classes to avoid running into River.
With two floors, the school is huge, but I had no way of knowing where I may possibly run into him, so I’ve been here.
I thought about texting him last night to let him know that I couldn’t get out of his class, so there wouldn’t be yet another surprise for him, but we already had enough damning evidence in our text conversation.
I figured it might be best not to add to that.
Plus, I was pretty sure he probably blocked me.
I hope, at some point, we can have a conversation so it’s not a very tense nine months, but I know the dust needs to settle first, and he’ll probably be holding on to his anger for a very long time.
Luckily, no one knows who I am, so no one is really looking for me except my cousin, and she’s deep into the talking stage with Cole, so she hasn’t really been curious about my whereabouts today either.
The bell dings, indicating I have three minutes to get to my third period, and my stomach feels like it drops into my ass.
Just get a seat in the back. Don’t talk. Don’t disrupt anything. Take your notes and just get out of there. There’s a zero percent chance he’s going to arbitrarily call on you, so it’ll be like you’re invisible.
I stare at myself in the mirror, something I’ve been struggling to do since yesterday because I am the cause of all this chaos and drama, and I hate that.
I run a brush through my hair before applying a bit more mascara and lip balm, because, yes, although he’s pissed at me, I still want him to find me attractive.
Him finding you attractive is why you’re in this mess!
Wait. What if I just skipped?
Can I do that?
But what am I going to do for fifty minutes?
Can I just leave and sit in my car?
Maybe I can go get a latte somewhere.
I leave the bathroom and start heading toward the exit where my car is parked. The hallway has mostly cleared out as time dwindles for students to get to their next class, so hopefully, it isn’t too obvious that I’m just trying to walk out of the side door right now.
I am almost to the door when I hear a deep voice, “Excuse me, where are you headed, young lady?” I jump at the sound of his voice, and when I turn, I see one of the school security guards standing against the wall.
Well, this is probably not good.
“Oh, just to my car really quick.” I gesture innocently toward the first set of double doors.
He gives me a pointed look before folding his arms over his chest. “Nice try.”
“I just… left my textbook there, and I need it for my next class.”
“Students aren’t permitted to leave the building except during lunch hours or if you have a free period, work release, or a pass. Do you have any of those things?” he asks.
“Umm, no?” I respond meekly. This is going downhill very fast.
“I suggest you go to your class then and get a pass, and then you can go to your car,” he informs me.
“Caaan you give me a pass?” I ask with a smile. I’ve flirted my way out of many tickets and sticky situations before, and I’m wondering if maybe that works here too.
“No,” he says succinctly without any follow-up.
“I’m having a really bad day,” I tell him, hoping he’ll feel even a modicum of empathy for me.
“Well, you can’t skip class over that.”
And now I’m late, and I have to walk into class with everyone, including River, staring at me.
“Am I going to have to escort you to class, or can I trust you’ll get there on your own?” he asks, without giving me a chance to respond, and I sigh.
“I’ll go,” I whisper, not wanting to get into trouble on my second day here.
I make my way down the hall and toward the classroom and take a deep breath before opening the door slowly.
The sound of River’s smooth, deep voice floods my ears and briefly hits me with a memory of the voice message he’d left me a few days ago of him grunting while he was masturbating followed by a feral groan of my name and telling me what a good girl I was for taking his dick like this.
NOT THE TIME, SLOANE.
His voice stops immediately when I shut the door behind me, and twenty-something eyes land on me, including his warm brown ones, now icy and cold.
“I– sorry,” I whisper before averting my gaze and moving toward the back of the classroom. Luckily, I see a seat in the back row.
“Let’s all try to make sure we’re on time, going forward,” River says, and I wince before nodding and sinking low in my chair.
“Don’t trip, Mr. K is cool. He just has to say shit like that so the other teachers don’t give him a hard time.
” I turn my head to see a Black guy with light eyes smiling at me.
He’s wearing a football jersey, so I take that to mean he probably knows River on a different level and probably worships the ground he walks on or something.
“You’re the new girl, Delaney’s cousin, right?
Your parents are like the Thornberrys or something. ” He laughs quietly.
I nod and smile for what feels like the first time in twenty-four hours. “Sloane,” I whisper.
“I’m Mack,” he tells me with a smile. “Well, Alex Mackenzie, but everyone calls me Mack,” he says.
I wish we were meeting in literally any other setting so I could actually feel like I could speak.
I nod again before returning his smile. “Don’t worry about it, it’s no big deal, okay? You look like you’re scared.”
“Mr. Mackenzie!” I hear River’s exasperated voice from the front of the class, and I feel my heart start to pound. His voice is light, but I know I’m somehow about to get blamed for this.
Shit! I just wanted to be invisible.
“Sup!” He raises his hand, and the whole class snickers.
“How about we focus, alright?”
“You got it!” He points at him before leaning back in his chair and pulling his phone out under his desk.
River’s eyes pan to me, and I try to sink even lower in my seat. “You’re late and disruptive? Are we going to have a problem?” His gaze is still hard, and I’m sure he’s angry that I’m still in his class when he had demanded I switch out.
“No,” I whisper.
“Hey, she’s new, and the school is huge. Give her a break. And I started talking to her first.” Mack interjects, and I want to cry at the thought of him standing up for me.
River’s face softens but only slightly before he continues. “Both of you, let’s keep the side conversations to a minimum, if you don’t mind.”