13. River #2
I open my brother’s text while I sit on the couch in my living room.
Normally, after a long week, I’d have some sort of plans to go out this weekend, but this week has been fucking taxing, and the exhaustion has set in.
I had no plans but to sit on my couch and watch football and avoid thinking about anything that had to do with work or Sloane or how I was going to get through nine months of this.
Our first football game was tomorrow, and I already felt distracted.
I knew I would lock in once the game started, but right now, all I’m thinking about is what Sloane will look like in a cheerleading uniform.
Me:
Everything’s fine. So far so good.
I didn't tell him I had a private conversation with her in my classroom because I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. And I certainly didn’t want to tell him that she practically handed my ass to me because I’m sure he’d agree with her.
I was being unnecessarily hard on her. Mack called me out on it on her second day. The whole point was to act as if she didn’t exist to avoid drawing attention to anything, yet I was openly singling her out.
Fuck.
And who knows what she may have said to the counselor when she requested a switch from my class. And even if she said nothing, if it gets back to Langford that I may be harder on Sloane when I am notoriously not really hard on anyone, it might be cause for concern and conversations.
Rowan:
You sure? Nothing you want to tell me? You know I have your back, right?
Me:
I know and no, nothing. I’m good. Just tired. It's been a long week.
Rowan:
You home?
Me:
Yeah
Rowan:
Want to come over? Ellie made chili.
I stare at his text for a minute, actually contemplating it before I decide against it because the last thing I wanted was to bring anyone down, and I still wasn’t in the best mood.
Me:
Can you send some over via a courier service?
Rowan:
Lol, Margot went out.
Me:
Damn
Rowan:
Just come over. Don’t sit over there and sulk.
Me:
I am not sulking.
Rowan:
You are. Otherwise, you’d be out.
Me:
It’s not unheard of for me to stay in.
Rowan:
No, but it’s unheard of for you to stay in and not be here. Don’t isolate yourself.
Me:
Don’t shrink me
Rowan:
Fine. You know the door’s always open.
Me:
Even if it wasn’t, I have a key.
Rowan:
Alright, smart-ass, talk to you later
Later that night, my phone lights up with a notification that I’ve received an Instagram message. I don’t use my Instagram much, mostly for the reels that Ellie and Margot send me. My account is private and has only a few posts, but I will also use it if a woman I’m hanging out with does.
It’s in my message request box, and when I click on it, I notice the account is verified, and the name, stops me in my tracks: HuntersInTheWild
What the fuck?
Before opening the message, I click the profile and see that the account has over 100,000 followers, which is, in fact, what I suspected: an account dedicated to Sloane’s parents’ research and travels.
But why is this account DMing me?
I go back to the message and let out a breath before opening it, my heart pounding at who sent this and what it could possibly say.
Hey, I’m messaging you here because I figured it’s probably best I don't use my personal account to keep the digital trail as clear as possible. I did also try to call you yesterday, but it didn’t go through, so I assume you blocked my number.
Fair. So you know, I’m the only one with access to this account because I was the self-appointed social media manager for my parents.
I just wanted you to know how sorry I am about this mess we’re in.
I have zero plan to screw you over or out us or make your life any more difficult than I already have, and if things ever came out, I will take full responsibility.
I know it may not be enough to keep your job, and I am so sorry for that.
I know I shouldn’t have lied, but… as you so eloquently put it, you wouldn’t have touched me if you knew my age or situation and…
I wanted you to touch me. I thought you were hot the moment I laid eyes on you at the bar, and when you started flirting with me, I thought I could get away with it being just a fun fling, especially when it turned out we were both going to be in Maryland.
I know how immature I acted, and looking back, I should have just been honest from the start and left you alone.
But please believe me when I say, I had no idea that I would ever see you at school.
Even with my situation, that is one hell of a coincidence that I did not expect.
I know this isn’t enough. I know you’re pissed, and this throws an entire wrench in your year because it's put you on edge, and it will constantly be in the back of your mind until the year is over, and I am so sorry for that.
I am so sorry for everything. You may not want to respond to this, but I hope you at least read it. SH
I rub my jaw as I read her message again. I know I should heed Rowan’s warnings about not having a conversation with her, but this isn’t from her account. I could message her back and tell her to delete both of our messages.
But what reason do you have to message her back? You guys talked in class earlier which you shouldn’t have done.
Just like the message to acknowledge it and move on.
Do not let her suck you back in.
This is dangerous and a slippery slope.
I grab the bottled beer sitting on my coffee table and pull it to my lips as I read the message again.
Why does she have to be in my class? At my school.
Cheering for my football team.
I groan thinking about her cheering tomorrow at the first game. Thankfully, they cheer behind us on the track or very off to the side so as not to be a distraction to the guys and now, me.
The last thing I need is to lose focus because I can’t keep my eyes off one of the cheerleaders.
I think about how terrible that could be misconstrued if I’m caught looking at Sloane, and it seems as if I’m looking at someone else.
Like someone who is not eighteen.
My stomach turns, and I like the message before closing the app and tossing it to the side.
That’s enough. Now ignore it.
Ignore her.
That was the only way to get through this.