Chapter 23 #3
Connor didn’t respond right away, and Daisy couldn’t decide whether she should fill the silence or go find a rock to die under. She couldn’t imagine anything more mortifying than admitting you ogled someone so much their partner left them. Thankfully, she didn’t have to decide.
“You liked the idea of me so much you ruined both of our relationships over it.”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
“I have a question.”
Daisy swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to focus on where her hand rested on Connor’s thigh. “What’s your question?”
“You had every opportunity to meet me. Patrick or Roxie could’ve introduced us. Why did it take a decade for me to learn you existed?”
She’d considered that for a long time, and she came to the same conclusion she had about meeting the entirety of the Freeze.
It would’ve crushed her to blow up her whole life for an asshole.
“It was too risky. What if I met you and hated you? Or what if we met and hit it off and then broke things off and I wrecked friendships over it? I felt safer keeping you at a distance. Admiring you from afar. It let me shape you into who I thought you should be. Which is super fucked up.”
Connor patted her hand and placed his own on the steering wheel, allowing her to continue running her fingers up his leg.
“That makes sense. I’ve met a lot of important people in hockey, and quite a few of them disappointed me. It’s that whole ‘don’t meet your heroes’ thing.”
“Exactly.”
“But you met me, and I must not be that bad since you agreed to this date.”
“Ha. I don’t recall being asked on a date. I lost a bet.”
“I would have asked you eventually.” Connor pulled into a strip mall and parked.
“Hmm,” Daisy answered, exiting the vehicle. He circled the car and reclaimed her hand, dragging her toward an old-fashioned ice cream shop where they ordered ice cream in waffle cones and ate at a tiny table.
“So,” Connor asked, “how do I compare to imaginary Connor?”
She couldn’t help but tease him, “Oh, you know, you’re okay.”
“Nothing to write home about then?”
“Your words, not mine.” She gave him an exaggerated wink, making him laugh.
“Being unenthusiastic about your activities at first probably didn’t win me many points.”
“Yeah, I was pretty certain your apathy crushed any lingering curiosity. It reminded me that you weren’t this perfect person. But also, I had an unfair advantage when building you up in my head. My opinion wasn’t based on the hockey blogs.”
“I’m sure Patrick loooved telling you how shitty I am.” He kept his tone light and teasing.
She bumped her shoulder against his. “He did. But he also told me to ‘woo’ you.”
Connor gasped and held a hand to his heart. “We’re on our way to being best friends already.”
“I know you don’t like each other.”
Connor licked chocolate brownie ice cream off his spoon, and Daisy’s brain went offline for a few seconds. What was it about his mouth that had her out of her mind? Being jealous of a spoon was creepo behavior. She needed to get it together.
His words barely registered when he said, “I’d be pissed if I had you and then some other person caught your eye. Especially if I worked with that person. I’d lash out too.”
She shook her head, attempting to clear the lust from her brain before she answered. “That would never happen to you; you’re the only one who’s ever gotten under my skin like this.”
“Ooo, you like me,” Connor sing-songed.
Daisy elbowed him. “Don’t make fun of me.
It was a close call there for a minute. When I stumbled on you trying to cheat at a team-building activity, I didn’t think I would be able to help you.
You gave me horrible existential dread. The one time I cared about the outcome for a client, and boom.
I was handed a guy I had idolized for years, and he wouldn’t give my activity the time of day. ”
“Hey! I was coming to terms with the fact that I knew nothing about the boys I was supposed to be taking under my wing. I couldn’t have told you a single fact about either of them and hated myself for it.
There was all this pressure to perform and bond with them and be a role model after years of being on a level playing field with my teammates.
I failed. That’s a hard pill to swallow.
Nobody likes admitting their shortfallings. ”
“They never expected you to have all the answers. They’re great people.”
“I know that now. But then? I was sitting in a room full of people I had disappointed. You, when I didn’t play your game. And Hazy and Lover, who I couldn’t help like I should have been able to.”
Daisy remembered how lost he’d seemed trying to play the silly video game. How he’d disappeared into the bathroom for several minutes, and how his attitude changed when he could take a step back.
“You changed, though. On the weekend trip you became more of who I always thought you would be.”
“It was the first time I could see this all working out.”
“Oh, it was always going to work out. Maybe not how I wanted it to, but you guys were going to figure it out if it killed me.”
They enjoyed their ice cream in comfortable silence for several minutes before Daisy said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Does it freak you out that I’m an overly obsessed fangirl who’s played a pivotal role in your life without your knowledge? I can’t help but feel a bit problematic.”
“Eh, when you’re a public figure, everyone has an opinion. Everyone thinks they know who you should be and how you should act. The fact that you never asked for anything was already a huge step up from the normal crazy fans.”
“I coerced you into singing karaoke and letting me take a picture.” She wrinkled her nose, delayed embarrassment creeping in.
“You didn’t coerce me. I did it to make you smile. And to make sure you weren’t going to call any of those people.”
He was being too nice. She hadn’t agonized over it for years just to have it dismissed when confronting it. “Still weird though, right?”
“Are you trying to convince me that you’re crazy? Because Roxie and I aren’t close, but I’m like ninety percent sure she wouldn’t send me out on a date with a psycho.”
“That’s a lot of faith you’re putting in Roxie’s judgement.” Daisy pursed her lips.
“Are you saying you wouldn’t put that much faith in her?”
“No, I would, but that’s different.”
Connor held up three fingers and tapped one of them. “Are you going to become a stalker and show up randomly at my house?”
“Um, no. But I could. I know where you live.”
“But you won’t. Are you going to harass my friends and family because you think I’ll sleep with you if you hound me enough?” He ticked another finger.
Daisy pulled her head back in shock at the audacity of some people. “Uh, I will not do that. No.”
“Are you going to do anything that would cause me to seek a restraining order?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
He ticked off the last finger and then waved away her concerns. “Then you’re fine. Stop thinking about it so much. I’m just a guy who has mutual friends with you, and we’re getting to know each other. Is that enough for now?”
Daisy thought about it as they tossed their trash and walked to the car.
Could it be that simple? She’d shamed herself so much over the years it never occurred to her that having dirty thoughts about him wasn’t in itself a problem.
As long as she didn’t harass him or act on them without his consent, they were harmless.
Too soon, they were parking in front of Daisy’s building. She wasn’t ready for the night to end, but also didn’t feel bold enough to invite him in.
“I guess that can be enough for now. On one condition.”
“Oh, making demands now, are we?” he teased.
“It’s not a demand. It’s a reassurance. You need to tell me if I’m ever entering lunatic levels of obsessed. I swear I will tone it down if you’re uncomfortable.”
He made no such promise as he rounded the car and opened the door for her.
“You won’t make me uncomfortable, Daisy. I don’t need strict boundaries with you.”
She tried to stop him in the lobby, afraid she wouldn’t be able to say no if he accompanied her upstairs, but he marked her hesitation and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not expecting anything. Let me walk you to your door.”
She studied him for a few brief seconds, and then nodded, leading the way to the elevator where she leaned into him.
He was so warm, and he smelled like oranges, and he’d been touching her non-stop.
Would he kiss her? Would they do more than kiss?
Did he have a good time, or was he being polite?
Why did everything have to be so complicated?
When the elevator opened on Daisy’s floor, she walked to her door and faced him, leaning against it. He skimmed his hand along her cheek, sweeping her hair out of her face and settling his hand on her nape. She licked her bottom lip in anticipation, and his eyes tracked the movement.
For years she’d stared at his mouth and wondered what it would be like to kiss him. And she might finally find out. Oh God. This was really happening. She wanted to pinch herself.
She slid her hands up his arms as he moved closer, and then his mouth brushed against hers, feather-light, his lips soft and coaxing.
She parted her lips, every ounce of self-preservation leaving her body.
When you lusted after someone for a decade and you got the chance to act on it, you fucking seized the moment.
He took advantage of her invitation, licking into her mouth and setting her core on fire. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pressed into her, trapping her between him and her door.