Chapter 28
Connor
Nashville welcomed Connor with open arms. He fit seamlessly into the team. In the first game he had three points. Their fans were cheering his name, the team accepting him, no questions asked.
He stayed with Casey and Cora, and the following evening he stood on their patio and watched Casey grill. The kids were enjoying a warm day by running around the backyard and climbing on the jungle gym Connor got them for Christmas.
Evan chased Casey’s squealing toddlers. Casey drank from his water bottle and flipped the steaks. The moment felt so natural, yet so foreign.
Evan’s fiancée, Demi and Cora sat at a glass patio table under a giant beige umbrella and chatted, both of them keeping one eye on the kids.
Connor tried to be present. He wanted to enjoy this.
But the hollow ache that had started the second he got news of his trade never dissipated.
Physically, he existed in Nashville, playing the best hockey of his life, surrounded by people who loved him and wanted him to succeed.
Mentally, though, he stayed tucked up inside himself, doing anything to stay numb.
Getting out of Casey’s way, he joined the women at their table and tried to channel the Connor they knew and loved. He was pretty sure he’d gotten the smile right.
“Whatcha talking about?” he asked.
Demi handed her phone to him. She’d pulled up pictures of the mock-ups of potential playoff jackets for the WAGs.
Connor’s heart clenched. He’d never cared about the WAG outfits. Never had a reason to. He’d dated Roxie in college, but then Dylan had been born and he’d structured his life around supporting his sister and nephew.
Apart from the occasional hookup, Connor didn’t date. He also played for a team that never made the playoffs. So no need for pomp and circumstance. Now though, scrolling through pictures of yellow and black jackets, he couldn’t help but picture Daisy in one.
She’d scrunch her nose at it. “I hoped it would be Freeze colors.” She would say. But she’d wear it. For him. At least he hoped she would. God help him, he wanted to see his last name across her back again. She betrayed the Freeze for Patrick. Maybe she would for him, too.
Did he rank as high as Patrick? Probably not anymore. He’d left her behind without a word.
Connor cleared his throat and handed Demi her phone. “Very nice. I like the leather one.”
The women gave him bewildered looks.
“What?” he asked.
Their eyes darted away from him. “Nothing,” they said.
When the kids were in bed, Casey suggested they start a fire. Cora and Demi declined the invitation, content to watch a movie where they wouldn’t get eaten alive by mosquitoes. Casey, Evan, and Connor took the opportunity to spend the time just the three of them.
It had been seven months since they had had the chance to be together like this. Casey’s fire pit ran on gas, so there was no building of fire or stirring of embers to be done. He switched it on, and they gathered around the flames in flimsy folding chairs.
When Connor had asked why Casey owned a five-million-dollar home with a state-of-the-art outdoor kitchen and fancy gas fire pit but still insisted on camp chairs to enjoy said fire pit, Casey had answered that it was ‘more authentic’ that way.
Connor sprawled out in the chair and avoided thinking about the last nighttime fire he’d enjoyed.
Crickets and frogs sang their song and the three men sat in comfortable silence for a few long minutes. Connor was starting to unwind when Evan asked, “So, whatever happened with your woman?”
“Yeah, what happened to Daisy?” Casey echoed.
Connor leaned forward in his seat, put his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands. “I don’t know, man.”
His best friends let him stew in his suffering for a few seconds before Casey said, “Cora and Demi said you were being weird about the WAG stuff they showed you. Are you going to ask her to come out here?”
Connor searched the cloudy, light-polluted night sky for answers. He found none. “I haven’t talked to her since the trade.”
When he looked to his boys for answers, they stared at him with dropped jaws.
“What?” he asked.
Evan, the first to collect himself, asked, “You left without saying goodbye?”
Connor’s defenses rose. “It’s not like I was given advance notice.”
Casey pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “It’s been two days, man! You have to say something!”
Evan nodded at Casey’s suggestion. “You can’t leave her hanging. Don’t tell Cora and Demi; they would kick your ass.”
“You don’t even know her,” Connor replied. “It’s not serious.” The lie stung. Connor was in deep. He was pretty sure he loved her.
His friends called out his bullshit. Casey said, “Dude, you’ve never brought up another girl. I haven’t seen you date in years. We’ve been trying to set you up forever, and you always blow us off.”
Evan jumped in with, “You called us for fashion advice. That’s not nothing.”
They had a point. Connor thought about the last two days.
The chaos and mix of emotions. He had expected that when he left Seattle, leaving Dylan and Sarah would make him feel the most guilt.
And he did miss them already. But the pull to go home wasn’t only attached to them. Daisy tugged on the thread too.
“You should invite her to come down,” Casey told him.
“Yeah!” Evan supported the idea. “Cora and Demi would love to have another girl around.”
Connor played with the string of his hoodie and studied his friends. They had figured it out with their partners. Why couldn’t he? “I’ll think about it.”