Chapter 30
Connor
Keeping his word to his friends, Connor lay in bed and considered inviting Daisy to visit him in Nashville. She’d be pissed at him, but he hoped he could convince her to come around.
The timing could be perfect. She didn’t have a job. The Freeze season ended soon, since they wouldn’t be making the playoffs. She could still record the podcast. Podcast hosts worked remotely all the time.
Connor sat up, running a hand through his bedraggled hair and dangling socked feet off the side of the bed. He’d ask her. She wouldn’t say no. He would grovel if he needed to.
Bracing himself for the onslaught, he grabbed the stupid device off his bedside table and powered it on. As expected, his phone dinged rapidly from the moment the screen lit up. He ignored the notifications from his agent and teammates in search of a flower he didn’t find in the sea of messages.
Hazy and Lover’s names appeared over and over.
He opened the thread from Hazy.
Dude where are you? Daisy is waiting.
We’re still in the family room.
Did you leave?????
we’re going to wait 10 minutes then take Daisy home
Not fucking cool man. You threw her to the sharks and then didn’t show up
I can’t believe you left without telling Sarah
This fucking sucks. Come back
Ugh. Now I know how you felt all year trying to play with new people
Lover’s thread displayed similar sentiments, but in a kinder package.
I introduced Daisy to Gwen!
Will you be done soon?
We should get ice cream after this. The place is open til 1
Daisy and Roxie are in for ice cream. When will you be done
Don’t worry we got you. You should call your sister tho *picture of Dylan with an action figure
Why haven’t you called Daisy? She’s upset and worried
Omg how am I supposed to adjust my play again for this new guy
CALL DAISY!!!!! She’s so excited! We wish you were here for this
After that they had created a group chat to tag-team their guilt trip.
Lover
*Picture of Daisy at the practice rink*
Hazy
Woooo she made it happen
Lover
If Beanie was here her entire life would be made
Hazy
Yah Beanman call your girl
Lover
Ew never say Beanman again
Call her she’s contracted with the team now!!! The rest of the season and all next year!!
Connor’s heart skipped a beat at Daisy’s news, a split second of elation and pride before devastation took hold.
He couldn’t ask her to leave the Freeze for him. Daisy was Seattle. She belonged there. She’d built a community there. Her career was taking off in the industry she’d worked so hard to break into. If he asked her to come, she would. And everything he loved about her would whither and die.
He should have called. Texting was a coward’s way out.
But he didn’t think he could bear to hear her disappointment.
And he needed to think about the best words to say.
If she yelled at him or cried or told him to fuck off, he wouldn’t be able to get the words out.
So instead of typing the message he’d planned, he tapped out the opposite.
The message that would destroy him so she could flourish.
Hey I guess you know about the trade. Sorry I didn’t tell you in person. I shouldn’t have left like that. I heard your good news you’re going to be amazing. I’m sorry I can’t be there to see it. It’s best if we call things off. Don’t think I’ll be getting a deal in Seattle anytime soon
He stared at it for several minutes, trying to reason his way out of this nightmare.
Nashville would be his home for the foreseeable future.
Seattle didn’t want him. It nearly killed him, but he pressed send.
Then he blocked her number and deleted her contact, fearful that if he talked to her, he wouldn’t be strong enough to stick to his decision.
Casey and Evan would be pissed if they knew what he’d done. He’d have to tell them she broke up with him, unwilling to do long distance; otherwise, he’d never hear the end of it.
Tears pricked his eyes, pressure building in his sinuses when he lay on his bed and scrolled through his messages.
No matter what he did, someone would get hurt.
Connor did his best to ensure that he would be the one taking the majority of the blows.
Reading through Lover and Hazy’s messages eased his pain.
Until he reread Hazy’s text thread, and bolted upright.
Desperate for it not to be true, he found Sarah’s thread and opened it. Under his last text to her sat an error message. Not delivered. Fuck. It was two days too late, but he called his sister.
Two weeks after the trade, Nashville faced off against San Jose. Nashville had the home-ice advantage, but it would still be a disaster.
Patrick Mills came out playing hard. He started warm-ups by spitting in Connor’s face. In the past, Connor would’ve pummeled him. Instead, he wiped the spit from his face and went about his normal routine.
On the first face-off Patrick said, “You didn’t deserve her, but I didn’t think you’d be this big of an asshole.”
Connor didn’t respond. He couldn’t deny the truth; he was an asshole.
Patrick scored a goal and shoved Connor into the glass during his celebration. When Connor answered with a goal of his own, the crowd went wild, but Connor skated a slow lap, foregoing a big celebration.
Patrick played dirty. Some of his moves should’ve been penalties.
None were called. Every check into the boards Connor deserved, and he let it happen.
After one particularly rough play Casey and Evan helped Connor off the ice, and Casey asked, “What the hell, man? Why are you letting him get away with this shit?”
“He’s not worth it,” Connor mumbled in response.
As the first period went on, the violence from Patrick dwindled. The hits got lighter. The chirps became fewer.
At the start of the second period they faced off at center ice, and Patrick said, “You look like fucking shit.”
It wasn’t a chirp. Patrick wasn’t trying to start a fight. He simply stated a fact, and Connor didn’t have the energy to respond.
Connor scored after that face-off, and Patrick let him have his halfhearted celly.
But the next face-off, his rival whispered to him, “You know I have to kick your ass, right?” No real animosity lined Patrick’s tone, which was a first for them.
It felt like Patrick could see into Connor’s soul and knew nothing he could say or do would make Connor feel worse than he already did.
Connor nodded, resigned to this fate. The fans would love it. He dropped his gloves first and raised his fists, the rest of the team not daring to interfere. Patrick shook his head and dropped his gloves.
Connor threw a weak punch. Patrick dodged and wailed on him.
“All! She! Ever! Wanted! Was! You!” Patrick yelled at him through gritted teeth, accentuating each word with a blow. He landed hit after hit, Connor getting a few in for show, until Connor fell onto the ice. Then Patrick pulled him to his feet, and they skated to the penalty boxes together.
A trainer stuffed cotton into Connor’s bleeding nose.
When they met again in the face-off circle, Connor asked, “Is she okay?”
Patrick shook his head.
Nashville kicked San Jose’s ass. Connor refused to do media availability, sending Casey instead. He couldn’t face the public in his current state.
Connor hung back in the locker room. If he waited long enough, maybe Patrick wouldn’t be around when he left. Because Patrick would never let this go without fighting for Daisy, and Connor was a coward. He knew it. Patrick knew it. Daisy knew it.
So Connor lingered in the showers, letting silent tears track down his face until the room went quiet.
His faucet stayed on long after everyone else’s, his bag the last still hanging in a locker.
Eventually, the lights went out. When Connor did finally leave, he still found Patrick waiting for him, leaned up against his car in the garage.
Casey and Evan were there as well, being protective as hell. He loved them. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t understand. Connor hadn’t explained it to them.
He’d tried so hard to act normal, but he was doing a shit job.
When they asked him to go out, he went. When they invited him to dinner with their partners and kids, whom he adored, he went.
He got to be fun Uncle Bean to Casey’s kids again.
He fit into their lives both on and off the ice like he’d never left, and was grateful to have friends so close they had become family.
Connor could show up as his worst self and they’d still love and care for him, but he didn’t let them.
He let his mood and his failures fester.
Patrick might be the only person who understood, because on some level, Connor and Patrick were the same.
He thought he’d exhausted his emotions and become numb again in the shower, but at the sight of Patrick standing there, arms folded over his chest, leaned casually against Connor’s car and knowing exactly what Connor needed, Connor’s control over himself crumpled.
Tears escaped him. He was broken and could see no possible fix.
Never before had he let himself be this vulnerable with anyone. He could claim Casey and Evan’s support pushed him over the edge. But it didn’t. Patrick’s did.
Daisy’s best friend took the time to check on him.
Broke his face, but then pulled him up off the ground.
Patrick wasn’t doing this for him. He was doing it for Daisy.
Connor was so relieved there was someone to do this for Daisy.
If Patrick was here, taking care of Connor, then on some level, Daisy wanted to make sure he was okay.
Patrick opened his arms, and Connor walked right into them. It wasn’t a man hug. It wasn’t one of those quick slaps on the back. Patrick wrapped Connor in a true, long, tight hug that healed a cracked piece of Connor’s heart.