Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
ZOE
The soft click of the door closing echoed through her apartment.
The sound felt as final as a judge hammering his gavel.
Zoe dressed and now sat frozen at the dining room table, hands resting on either side of the map, her breath shallow.
The air still hummed, her pulse hadn’t yet slowed, and she suddenly felt dizzy.
She drew in a shaky breath, pressing her palms flat to the table, unsure where all this left her. She wanted him. He wanted her. Yet they weren’t going to be together.
How was that fair?
At least Jackson had been honest—she could appreciate that—but honesty didn’t make it hurt any less.
Her heart clenched. She hated that he thought he was too broken to love. She wished he’d just let her in. She didn’t need to fix him, she knew better than that, but she wanted to shoulder even a sliver of that weight, to show him he didn’t have to carry it alone.
The apartment was quiet except for the hum of the refrigerator and the occasional meow from Whiskers.
Zoe stared at the map spread out before her, willing it to be enough to pull her mind from him, to stop the sting of his absence and the tears threatening behind her eyes.
Moments ago this map had felt like the next step in a big adventure.
Now, it just looked like faded ink and paper.
She wasn’t sure what to do next. She felt empty.
Then her phone buzzed beside her. The email preview popped up on her phone.
Subject: Fertility Consultation Follow-Up
It had to be divine intervention. She wasn’t sure how else she could describe it.
She hadn’t seen the name in weeks. Not since she began researching clinics.
She’d reached out to them once. It had been late one night, after too many cups of tea and too much thinking, but she’d never followed through with the new patient paperwork.
Zoe read the first few lines: We’re reaching out to see if you’re still interested in scheduling an appointment…
Something inside her shifted.
Her throat tightened and tears she hadn’t realized she was holding back stung her eyes. It wasn’t just about Jackson. It was about everything she’d been waiting for—the family she wanted, the future she dreamed of, the life she kept promising herself she’d start “someday.”
Jackson might take years to heal. Maybe he never would. And she loved him enough to understand that. But she also loved herself enough to know she couldn’t keep standing still. This was something she had to do.
She crossed the apartment to her desk, opened her laptop, and then her email.
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, trembling slightly, before she began to type.
First she filled in her name. Then her date of birth.
Next, the insurance provider. The ordinary details of her life suddenly felt enormous, like bricks laid toward a future that was hers to claim.
At the bottom of the form, she hesitated only a heartbeat before clicking submit.
The screen refreshed, showing a polite message thanking her for her submission. Just like that, the first step was done, and with it, the weight of a choice she’d waited too long to make had been lifted.
Zoe shut the laptop with a soft click and returned to the table.
The map still waited, its edges curled and yellowed with time.
She traced the faded trail with her fingertip, her chest tightening.
She still wanted to follow it, to find that hidden bloom, see if it still existed.
And she still wanted to do it with Jackson.
Because part of her, the superstitious part, felt that maybe if they found that flower together they’d find a way to make things work.
She walked over and opened the living room window.
The cool breeze blew back her gauzy curtain.
Outside it smelled like damp earth with something sweet mixed in.
It must be the cherry blossoms, Zoe thought.
From here she could see the square below, the streetlights highlighting the stone fountain at the center.
Down the way, electrical candles flickered in the windows of the Cinnamon Spice Inn.
Zoe closed her eyes, inhaled the earthy scent, and listened to the faint hum of crickets waking up. Life pressed forward whether she was ready or not.
Standing there with her eyes closed, she whispered the words she’d been afraid to say aloud: “I just want a family.”
And tonight, she’d taken one small, terrifying step toward making that dream her own.
Whiskers interrupted Zoe’s moment by weaving between her legs, begging once more for food.
“Alright, alright. But just a little bit.” Zoe walked over and poured a small handful into her porcelain dish.
Her kitty purred, already devouring her second dinner, blissfully unaware of Zoe’s heart twisting itself in knots.
“Friend zone,” she whispered, forcing herself to believe the words because losing him wasn’t an option.
And yet, even as she said it, her chest ached. Because she didn’t just want a whimsical adventure with a friend. She wanted him, all of him. A family. A future. Everything she’d been too afraid to admit aloud. And she wanted it with Jackson.
There had never truly been anyone else for her.
She could see it so clearly, the holidays spent with his family at the farm, the late nights up with their little ones, rocking them to sleep.
The midnight dances in the kitchen. The knowing that no matter what life threw at them, he’d always be by her side. Forever.
That was the type of love they’d have, if he’d only just let her in.