Chapter 3
The van stopped next to Mab and Jess and through the open window, a familiar voice said, ‘Can I give you a lift, ladies?’
‘The Chocolate Cake Bookstore? And Holistic Redding Experience? What’s that all about?’ shouted Jess above the noise of the motor, momentarily distracted from her worries.
Out of the van stepped their new acquaintance.
He was very tall, and now that Mab came to look at him properly, she could see that there was something oddly elegant about the way he moved, when he wasn’t demolishing chairs.
His t-shirt didn’t look nearly warm enough for today though; Mab supposed he didn’t notice the cold because he came from the North.
The Geordie accent was the best thing about him, apart from his wonderful bone structure, as far as Mab could tell.
Her initial warm appreciation of his finer points had faded.
How was Jess ever going to get another job?
Leo looked even paler in daylight, and the shadows under his eyes could have only been caused by too many late nights and way too much partying.
‘Oh, you’re back. What’s redding?’ said Jess, without much enthusiasm.
‘I couldn’t leave without making it up to you both; I’ve completely wrecked your day.
And Reading’s a place not far from here, isn’t it?
Remember The Ballad of Reading Gaol? Now I come to think of it, they’ve got quite a good football team, or so I’ve heard.
I can’t see why you’re asking me about it though. ’
‘No, not Reading the town, “Redding”, as on your van! And make that “life”, wrecking the day doesn’t begin to cover this,’ said Mab. Her eye was hurting more than ever, and she had just realised that she had nowhere quiet to work on her book today, now the café was out of bounds.
Leo looked puzzled. Mab pointed to the side of the van.
‘Redding! It’s written on there,’ she said, keeping her temper with difficulty.
There was a stunned silence. Then Leo turned slowly towards the van, shaking his head in disbelief.
‘The stupid git! He never could spell. It’s supposed to say “Reading” as in reading a book,’ he said. ‘I’ll kill him when I see him, preferably after he’s put it right. Which had better be soon, mind, or the whole thing is going to look like one big joke.’
‘Who painted the letters?’ asked Jess, interested now in spite of herself.
‘My little brother Josh. I’ve got two other brothers and a dad who can all handle a brush better than Josh, but he went on and on at me to give him a chance to prove he could do it. He wants to join the family signwriting and bodywork business but our dad says he’s got to do his A levels first.’
Mab looked more closely at the beautifully executed gold letters and at the glossy finish of the van itself.
‘Well, actually, the rest of it looks lovely. It wouldn’t be much of a job to change one letter. And anyway, forget the van, I want to hear more about The Chocolate Cake Bookstore. It’d better be worth hearing though, after what happened back there.’
Leo shrugged apologetically and smiled down at Mab and Jess. Mab folded her arms, not ready to let him off the hook yet, however warm and fuzzy that smile was making her feel. Leo gestured towards his van.
‘It’s a long story. We’d better just get in here, because you two look as if you’re freezing.’ He held out a hand to each of them. ‘And I need to introduce myself properly first, even though I feel as if we know each other quite well already.’
Jess snorted. ‘You can say that again.’
‘OK, pet, if you like. I need to introduce myself first, even though…’
‘Oh, shut up!’ Frowning for a moment, Jess shrugged and took one of the outstretched hands.
After a moment, Mab took the other one. This was weird, but rather nice.
The three of them stood in a circle, smiling sheepishly.
Leo broke the silence. ‘It’s like a séance, this. Anyway, my name is Leonardo Lamb.’
Jess opened her mouth but Leo interrupted her. ‘Before you say anything, I know it’s a ridiculous name. I’ve spent years trying to stop people labelling me Lamb Chop. Most people just call me Leo these days.’
‘Ha! You think your name’s silly? We’ve been there,’ said Mab.
They all climbed into the van, even though Jess said that they shouldn’t really get into a stranger’s vehicle and if George tried a silly trick like that, she’d ground him for a year.
‘But we’re not strangers now,’ said Leo. ‘Come on, this is no place for a board meeting. Let’s go down to The Green Man and have a pint. It’s past lunchtime, and I could murder a pie. I’m starving.’
‘Board meeting? Have I missed something here?’ asked Jess.
‘No, but I need to put a proposition to Mab, and the van isn’t nearly comfortable enough. The heater doesn’t work either.’
‘A proposition? I hope this isn’t something rude?’
‘Not in the least bit… er… rude, but what I’ve got to ask you is really important. It’ll change your life. We’re going to be business partners, you and me.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve only just met you, and I don’t need a business partner. I haven’t got a business, to begin with, and, more to the point, I haven’t got any money.’
‘We’ll worry about all those things later. We’re definitely going to be partners. And what’s more, we’re going to be sensational.’
‘We are? In what way?’ Mab was intrigued. It was about time someone thought she was sensational. Rejection slips had a dampening effect on the ego after a while.
‘When I’ve got some decent food and a beer in front of me, I’ll tell you all about it. But you need to promise to hear me out before you start to pour cold water on my plan.’
‘It’s a deal. Jess is better with the cold tea anyway,’ said Mab. Jess stuck out her tongue. The van trundled the few hundred yards to the pub, and Leo parked across two spaces before jumping out to open the door for Jess and Mab, bowing politely.
‘You’re a gentleman,’ said Mab, ‘but you’re rubbish at parking.’
‘True, but I always stand my round, pet, so let’s get in there. The beer down here’s not a patch on our pint, mind.’
‘Don’t push your luck, Leo,’ said Mab, ‘you don’t know us well enough to insult our beer. And hurry up, I’ve got to be at work soon. I’ve got pick-and-mix to sell.’
Inside The Green Man, sunshine flooded through the lounge windows and the warmth of the blazing log fire burning in the inglenook took away any chill that might have been in the air.
Wonderful smells of garlic and herbs were floating through from the kitchen, and Mab’s thoughts once again turned to food.
How was she ever going to take control of her weight if she just lurched from one snack to the next?
And was there really any point at the moment?
Leo quickly bought drinks and took them over to the fire.
There was just enough room for Mab and Jess to squeeze in opposite Leo, although he did take up an awful lot of space.
Sitting sideways with his long legs stretched out, he made quite a tripping hazard for the elderly ladies and gentlemen making trips to the cloakroom.
‘OK then, give us the gen. How do you know Mab’s name, how and why are you and Mab going to be awesome, and, more to the point, does it involve lots of money?
’ asked Jess, downing half of her pint of bitter in one gulp.
Mab looked at her enviously. How did Jess stay so skinny?
Mab was making her own Diet Coke last so that she wouldn’t have to have another and had ordered a tuna salad instead of the steak and ale pie that the others had chosen.
And Jess and Leo were shortly going to be eating proper ‘homemade’ chips too.
It was so unfair. Leo finished his pint and stood up.
‘I’ll just get the next round in, and then I’ll tell you, but money is definitely one of the plus points of my plan.’
‘Do you always drink so quickly?’ Mab asked.
‘No, but it’s hair of the dog time today. I was on a real bender yesterday with my brothers – even our dad couldn’t keep up. They all wanted to celebrate with me.’
‘Celebrate what?’ Mab could never stand being kept in suspense. But Leo shook his head, and refused to elaborate until he was back from the bar.
‘Nice to meet a generous bloke for a change,’ said Jess, ‘not like your Pete; he was always busy in the toilet just at the moment when money was about to change hands.’
‘He’s not “my Pete” any more, thank goodness,’ said Mab, sniffing rapturously as the pies and salad were delivered, along with a large earthenware bowl full of crisp golden, chunky chips. Leo reappeared at the same moment.
‘By, that looks bonny. Pass the vinegar and give me five minutes to get outside of my dinner, girls, and I’ll be all yours.’
‘What makes you think we want you?’ grumbled Mab, but she started on her tuna, and was soon feeling quite smug about the lack of calories in her lunch.
She stole a chip or two, to take away the horrible taste of her drink.
Mab would have loved a large, cool glass of crisp white wine. Jess looked into Mab’s glass.
‘Not drinking, Mabel? They’ve got your favourite cider on draught here, you know?’
‘Oh… erm… no. My boss doesn’t like me smelling of booze in the shop. He says it gives a bad impression.’
Jess raised her eyebrows but said nothing. After a few minutes, Leo leaned back and stretched his arms high above his head. Mab waited, holding her breath. This was the point when Pete would have burped as loudly as he could. She smiled as Leo, mercifully burp-free, began to speak.
‘I’m starting to feel quite human now. Right, I’ll talk while you two finish your food.’ The others nodded, still chewing. ‘I’d better start at the beginning of the story.’