Chapter 5 #2
‘You look like you’ve been busy,’ Immy gestured to the bags.
‘I went shopping for some clothes for you.’ He handed her the bags.
‘You bought me clothes?’ Immy said in surprise.
‘Well, I figured you might be here for a few days, and as much as I love seeing you walk around in my shirt, I thought you might prefer your own clothes. Most of them are from Popsy, just down the road, as I know you wear a lot of their stuff, but I got some other bits too.’
She loved the clothes at Popsy, all brightly coloured dresses with large flowers or different animals.
She had an otter dress, one with bats on, one with cows.
She had a raspberry dress, one with tea cups, one with unicorns and dragons.
She could never walk past the shop without popping in to see their new styles and she almost always bought something.
Her favourite dress had little sweets all over it, which she wore a lot when working in her shop.
She also loved that Xander paid attention to what she wore and knew her taste in clothes.
She peered inside the bag. There was a dress with seahorses, one with starfish, one with narwhals and one with a beautiful murmuration of starlings across a pink sunset sky.
‘These are beautiful, but I can’t accept them. This must have cost a couple of hundred pounds.’
‘You don’t need to worry about that.’
‘I do worry about it. I’m not with you for money or expensive gifts. I do need clothes and I’m very grateful you’ve bought these for me but I’ll pay you back.’
She bit her lip. She didn’t have a lot of money in her savings and most if not all of that would have to be ploughed back into the shop and new stock.
‘It’s my job as father of your baby to make sure you have everything you need, including clothes.’
She scowled and he leaned over and gently rubbed the scowl away with his thumb. ‘It’s a gift, and one I’m happy to give you. So just say thank you.’
She smiled. ‘Thank you.’
‘My pleasure. Now open the other bags.’
She picked up one bag from Liberty, a shop that had recently opened on Cherry Lane, the main high street through Lovegrove Bay.
She hadn’t had a chance to pop in there yet.
She looked inside and pulled out a forget-me-not-blue satin dress that looked like it might be some kind of ball gown.
It had a deep V slash at the front, which gathered the dress together in a beaded and sequinned flower. It was beautiful.
‘This is lovely, but it’s a bit formal for lounging around the house.’
‘I thought we could go on a date tonight, if you’re willing.
No expectations of anything more than dinner.
But everything about our relationship has been physical so far and I’d really like the opportunity to do it properly, to date you, get to know each other, outside of the bedroom.
Maybe we can see if we stand a chance of being together long-term. ’
She stared at him, her heart already thundering in her chest that he wanted that, because she wanted that too. But she didn’t know if he wanted that because of her or the baby.
‘Because I’m pregnant?’
He frowned. ‘Because I adore you, because we have something special I’ve never had with anyone before. Isn’t this worth a try to see if we can have something serious?’
She sighed. ‘I don’t think my heart will survive if you push me away again.’
‘That’s not going to happen.’
She wanted to believe him, she wanted to trust in him but she couldn’t do that yet.
But she couldn’t keep him at arm’s length either.
She could date him, see what they were like in a proper relationship and try to keep her heart locked away as much as possible.
At least until she knew she could trust him with it.
‘Or not,’ Xander said, sensing her hesitation.
‘I totally understand if you just want to be friends. I hurt you so badly and behaved like a complete ass and I understand if you never trust me again. Just say the word and I’ll take the dress back and never mention this again.
I certainly wouldn’t want to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. ’
‘I’d like to go on a date with you.’ Immy spoke from the heart before her head could get involved.
His face lit up and she knew she was making the right decision. ‘You would?’
She nodded. ‘I know I said I just wanted to be friends, but I don’t really want that. I am scared of getting hurt again and I’m trying desperately to protect my heart but I believe everyone deserves a second chance. We deserve a second chance.’
‘And I take that very seriously. We can go as slow as you want. Just because we’re tentatively dating, doesn’t mean we need to jump straight back into bed with each other. No sex, until you’re ready. You can take as long as you need to find out if you can trust me.’
‘OK.’
‘I’m going to take you somewhere a bit classy for our first date. Thought you could wear this. I got you some sandals too – flats. I know you hate heels.’
She looked at the sandals, lovely little strappy things with diamantes across the toes.
She felt touched that he’d not only bought her all this but that he knew her style and preferences.
‘Thank you. This is all too much. Although I’m very excited about our date tonight.
I haven’t been on a proper date for a very long time. ’
‘We’re doing things properly. I’ll even wear a suit.’
She smiled at that. Although she wasn’t sure her heart could take the sight of him in a suit. It might just combust.
‘I also bought you some underwear as you don’t have a bra and I’m sure wearing my boxer shorts isn’t that comfy.’
She looked inside the next bag and laughed. ‘You bought me lingerie.’
He frowned in confusion. ‘What’s the difference?’
‘Have you ever been in a long-term relationship other than with your wife? I know you were married for five years but you also said you weren’t intimate with Brook during that time. Any long-term relationships prior to her?’
‘No.’
‘Oh, you’re going to be so disappointed if things work out for us.
Women tend to go for comfort rather than style when it comes to underwear.
On a day-to-day basis anyway. I wear boxer shorts, women’s ones, and rather plain sports bras.
This is the kind of thing you wear when you want to seduce someone. ’
‘Oh well, I must admit, I probably bought them because I thought you’d look hot in them. Not that I’ll be seeing you wear them for quite a while.’
She pulled out one set that was sky-blue satin, with little pink flowers decorating the edges.
It came with a matching pair of tiny satin shorts.
They were lovely and she would have no problem wearing them for him.
Eventually. She loved the way he looked at her body when they made love – it made her feel like a goddess, when she was anything but.
‘I think this will go very nicely under my dress tonight.’
‘I was hoping you’d say that. And I could never be disappointed in anything you wore. If things work out and you’re here permanently, if I was lucky enough to call you my wife, I’d feel like I won the lottery. You could wear a sack and I’d still think you were beautiful.’
She stared at him in shock, her heart thundering in her chest.
‘Am I jumping too far ahead?’ Xander said.
She reached out to stroke his face, swallowing a lump in her throat. ‘A little bit.’
‘Sorry, just pretend I never said that. But you never have to worry about what you wear with me. I always think you look amazing.’
But she didn’t want to dismiss what he’d said, pretend it never happened.
‘Don’t be sorry. I want this to work too. I really do. I’m just… cautious.’
‘Because I hurt you?’
‘That’s part of it and I do understand your reasons, you were trying to protect Etta. But if this is going to work long-term for us, then it has to be for the right reasons, not just because I’m carrying your baby.’
‘I get that. And I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you that I’m worth taking a chance on.’
She frowned. ‘You have nothing to prove to me. You just need to be yourself and then I’ll fall in love with the real you.’
‘The real me is a dick.’
‘I don’t see that at all.’
‘My wife cheated on me for five years, I was clearly not husband of the year material. Maybe I worked too hard and I wasn’t there to support her but we needed the money.
I promised to look after her and the baby and that meant long hours.
But clearly I wasn’t approachable either so she couldn’t talk to me about how she felt and it ended up escalating into that big explosion of pent-up rage and frustration.
That should never have happened. It should never have got that far. ’
‘Hang on a minute.’ Immy swivelled on the sofa so she was sitting cross-legged and facing him.
‘You can’t possibly be taking the blame for what she did.
She shouted at her five-year-old daughter on her birthday and told her that she hated being her mum and hated her.
That is the most despicable, vilest thing I’ve ever heard.
That is one hundred percent on her. She might not have been happy with her life, but she could have walked out at any time without destroying a five-year-old’s life, without making her doubt she’s lovable for the rest of her life, without making Etta question your relationship with her too.
She could have easily asked for a divorce from you at any point, or even shouted at you for every possible wrongdoing under the sun, but to do that in front of a five-year-old, to make Etta the target of her hatred, is unforgivable.
That is not your fault, there is nothing you did that warranted that kind of behaviour. ’
He stared at her and she saw the pain on his face.
‘You’ve been carrying this guilt ever since she left, haven’t you? Thinking this was your fault.’
‘Yes, it had to be me that drove her to that.’