Chapter 9
Abby finally understood what it meant when someone’s mind was in a whirlwind.
After the tour of the barns and paddocks closest to the house, she’d been staggered by everything—and couldn’t wait to see it all in the light of day.
She’d had an idea of what the ranch did, but seeing it up close and personal was another matter entirely.
And she’d just gotten a peek at a slice of it.
Remembering to look at the things Clayton was showing her instead of staring at him had been the hardest part. But what had she expected when she arrived and saw him standing there with the wooden fence behind him and cattle grazing beyond?
She’d seen numerous photos of hot cowboys in front of such a landscape, and he blew them all away. Even if his hair wasn’t styled, and his shirt wasn’t half unbuttoned. In many ways, he was sexier because of it.
His black hat had been pulled low so she couldn’t see his eyes. He’d stood as still as stone, but she’d known he was watching her. There was a particular heat that came over her whenever his gaze touched her.
His suede coat was unbuttoned, allowing her to see the beige button-down beneath that was tucked into denim. He carried gloves in one hand as if he’d removed them and had stopped what he was doing when he saw her.
As handsome as Clayton was, it was his quiet stillness that she saw first and foremost. He appeared unmovable, but not rigid. He reminded her of a great oak—steady and strong.
She hadn’t expected calmness, knowing some of what the ranch was going through, but she suspected that everything would methodically be taken in hand and set to rights because of his composure.
She was introduced to Shane, who then asked if Caleb wanted to see more of the ranch. Her brother’s exuberant response brought a smile to her face. As the two got in the SxS and drove off, Clayton had beckoned her into one of the other barns.
The smell of hay, manure, leather, and horse filled her senses. She paused to stroke a white mare, who hung her head over the stall door. The velvety nose and the way the horse blew against her arm kept her petting.
Clayton leaned against the stall a few paces down, watching her while rubbing the neck of another horse. His pale green orbs studied her so intently that she felt as if he were reading her actions and facial expressions.
She met his gaze, wishing she knew what he was thinking. While he belonged to this wonderful, intimidating world, she was never more aware that she knew nothing of ranching than at that moment.
Yet, it didn’t bother her. She was being given a glimpse into a way of life that used to dominate Texas. Now, as more and more ranches went under, it almost seemed as if men like Clayton were a dying breed.
“I take it from your earlier comment that you don’t ride,” he drawled.
She laughed and looked into the mare’s dark, fathomless eyes. “No. Horses don’t frighten me, I’ve just never been atop one.”
“Want to change that?”
His query had her sliding her eyes back to him to see if he were joking. The seriousness of his expression said he wasn’t. She was about to decline, but something stopped her.
Why couldn’t she have some fun? She’d worked hard for so long that she wasn’t sure she knew what having fun meant.
Besides, hadn’t she just reminded herself that it wasn’t going to be long before her brothers graduated and were gone?
She needed to think about the future and discover things that she might like to do.
While she’d never be able to pay for horseback riding lessons herself, this was an opportunity only an idiot would pass up. And Abby stopped being stupid in eighth grade after she’d let Joey Ashworth take her to the homecoming football game.
“Say yes,” Clayton urged.
She licked her lips and grinned. “Okay.”
One side of his mouth tilted up in a charming smile that made her weak in the knees. “Good.”
“Why are you being so nice?” It probably wasn’t something she should ask, but she couldn’t help it.
He pulled something small and white from his pocket before offering it to the horse, who quickly gobbled it up. Then he sauntered over to her and took her hand.
The contact of his large, warm palm on hers was like being shocked. Her stomach trembled, and she couldn’t catch her breath. When he set something on her palm, she looked down to find a sugar cube.
“Keep your fingers flat, so the horse doesn’t accidentally bite them,” he warned as he moved her hand closer to the mare’s mouth.
Abby held her breath as the animal’s lips nibbled at her hand before taking the cube. She laughed at the tickle, and instantly wanted to do it again.
No wonder both of her brothers wanted to be around horses. They were amazing. Sweet, gentle, beautifully powerful creatures that spoke volumes with their eyes.
“I’m being nice because I want to be,” Clayton said.
Abby had forgotten her question. Now, as she looked at him, she felt like a fool. “The people I know are only nice when they want something in return. After what Brice has done to your family—”
“He’s working it off,” Clayton interrupted. “And you’re helping, as well. Unless you offered your assistance in exchange for something,” he asked with narrowed eyes.
“No,” she hastily assured him. “I’m just not used to this sort of kindness.”
He didn’t say anything else, simply kept a hold of her hand and pulled her after him as he walked away. Abby looked longingly at the white mare as she silently promised herself that she would come back with a box of her own sugar cubes.
It wasn’t long before she heard voices and picked out Brice’s. Clayton slowed his steps until they stopped outside of an open door. She halted beside Clayton and peered around the door to see Brice sitting in a tack room, vigorously rubbing something into the leather of a saddle.
“Then what?” Brice asked.
A man of indiscernible age due in part to his wrinkles and weathered face continued his instruction on how to approach horses both broken and wild. Brice ate it up as if it were air that would sustain him. All the while, he kept working.
She’d never seen him so dedicated to anything before. He’d gone to bed with a smile on his face the night before and had woken up with it still in place. Abby was beginning to think it was a permanent fixture now.
She looked up at Clayton to thank him and realized their bodies were touching. His eyes seemed to swallow her whole, as if he stopped looking at her he might die.
And she was fairly certain she’d perish if he did.
The moment suspended as time slowed. It held them, seizing them both in a world all their own.
Her senses came alive with Clayton. The warmth of his body swallowed her while she dragged in a deep breath of his spicy, earthy scent.
His breathing was ragged, his eyes dilated.
His fingers slid sensuously from her hand to her wrist.
The desire she saw in his gaze made her stomach drop to her feet – and her body to shiver eagerly in response. Every fiber of her being was focused on Clayton, on the need pulsing through her.
The sound of Justine calling Clayton’s name broke them apart. He gave her a look full of longing and promise before turning on his heel. Abby fisted her hands, which were suddenly cold again now that he’d released her, and followed him to the entrance of the barn.
“I suppose we’d better get started,” he said.
She smiled and waved when she saw Justine. “I suppose.”
There was much she needed to do, but she hadn’t wanted her tour to end. It had been all too short, but magical all the same.
They walked into the darkness side by side until they met up with Justine. Abby glanced around for Caleb.
As if reading her mind, Clayton leaned close and said, “Shane won’t let anything happen to him. He’ll keep Caleb busy for a while.”
Once inside the warmth of the house, Justine took her coat and ushered Abby into the kitchen. Abby found herself looking at all the garland hung around the house that she longed to have. It made things feel so much more like Christmas than the pitiful four-foot artificial tree they had.
“Mom is a nut for Christmas,” Clayton said in a flat tone.
Justine turned and swatted him with the towel she picked up from the kitchen counter. “Hush, you. He only hates it because he and his father are the ones who have to carry all of the boxes up and down the stairs.”
Clayton barked in laughter. “You make it sound like you only have a few boxes.” Then he turned to Abby. “Do you know how many trees are in the house? Five.”
“I can’t choose what color to use each year,” Justine stated with a shrug.
Abby smiled at the banter. While Clayton griped, it was done in a loving manner, because it was obvious he’d do anything for his mother.
“Let me give you a hint about how many boxes there are,” he told Abby as he leaned an arm on the island. “She has red, silver, gold, burgundy, champagne, black, pink, copper, and purple. Each of those colors has about five huge boxes of ornaments and other decorations.”
Justine rolled her eyes. “We host a lot of parties, and the decorations need to match whatever color I use in each room.”
“Abby, she even changes out the comforters in the bedrooms to Christmas ones.”
She turned her wide eyes to Justine. “No way! I’ve always wanted to do that.”
“Finally,” Justine said and looked Heavenward. “Someone who understands a love of Christmas decorating.”
Clayton let out a sound that was something between a groan and snort. “You’re supposed to be on my side, Abby.”
“No, no, no,” his mother said with a wag of her finger. “This one, I win. You’ve always had your father on your side. Now, I have someone,” she declared proudly.
Never had Abby felt so . . . included. For the first time, she wasn’t just watching families interact, she was a part of it. It was an amazing feeling.
And a reminder of everything her brothers didn’t have.
Justine opened the oven and took out some freshly baked bread that Abby knew she’d made herself. “Abby, please don’t think I’m overstepping, but I’d love if you and your brothers joined us for Christmas dinner.”
Abby hesitated, unsure how to respond. Was Justine giving the invitation out of pity or because she really wanted them here.
“We have a big party the night before,” Clayton said. “Christmas is our private dinner. Say you’ll come.”
How was she expected to refuse now that he was staring at her with those gorgeous green eyes and that crooked grin? “We’d be delighted.”
“Oh, good,” Justine said with a clap of her hands. “And Ben will be feeling so much better by then. He’s dying to meet you. In fact, he’s coming down to dinner tonight.”
“Mom,” Clayton replied, worry filling his face and voice.
Justine put her hand on Clayton’s arm. “Leave your father to me. He’s promised to return to bed when I tell him.”
Abby glanced around the massive kitchen. “How can I help with dinner?”
“No need,” Justine said with a grin. “I love to feed people. It’s my thing, sweetheart. Clayton, why don’t you get her settled before you take your shower? You’re not sitting at my table smelling like that.”
He chuckled and put his hand on Abby’s back as he led her from the kitchen and down a hallway toward the office.
“Your mother is wonderful.”
He glanced her way and nodded. “She is pretty special.”
“You’ve no idea how lucky you are.”
“Do you miss your mom?”
Abby paused inside the doorway to the office. “At times, though they are less and less as the years go on. Why should I care about someone who didn’t think twice about leaving her children behind without money or food?”
“Did you ever grieve?”
She felt those damn tears again. What was it about Clayton that he could bring them forth so easily? “I didn’t have time. I had to help my brothers deal with things, find a job, and handle all the legal papers making me their guardian.”
“You’ve been doing things for everyone but yourself. When are you going to let someone do something for you?”
Abby was certain he didn’t mean him, but she really wished he did. Because if there was ever someone who made her want to forget her responsibilities and do something selfish, it was Clayton East.