Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
It was light outside. I’d slept late which was unusual for me.
Before going to sleep I’d taken out Olivia’s pink notebook and read one of her chapters. It started:
Grow your outer world
Do new things, meet new people, and do things to help others. My outer world shrunk after I’d lost Sophie. I locked myself away, stopped seeing friends, going out and doing new things. I think this happens because your mind can only cope with so much when you’re grieving. Losing a good friend is catastrophic. To process and make sense of what’s happened you hide away from the world. As a result, your outer world shrinks.
It made me think about my life after Olivia had died and before I had come to Harp Brook. My outer world had shrunk. I stopped doing the things I loved and chose to sit in my flat and watch the drips from the ceiling.
Olivia had written out a lengthy list of all the things she’d done to grow her outer world. She’d attended a new writer’s group, raised money for Cancer Research and forced herself to join a gym. That made me smile as she’d written at the side:
You don’t have to exercise at the gym. I preferred to wear fancy gym clothes, walk about with a towel to give the impression I was on a warm down, and talk to handsome men lifting weights.
Closing her notebook, I lay back in bed and thought about what I could do back home to grow my world. The thought of returning to my flat, the leaky ceiling, my lazy landlord and city life was no longer appealing. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep.
Next morning, as I got out of bed, I decided that somehow today I would get Layla to the hospital.
‘Morning, Rachel,’ Ben said, as I walked into the kitchen. The kitchen was empty apart from us. He was pouring hot water into two mugs with tea bags inside.
I didn’t see Grandpa. ‘Is my grandfather not up?’
Ben gestured towards the hole in the wall. ‘He’s back there. Tom’s showing him the new layout for the kitchen. Don’t worry, I made sure he put on a coat as even though we have heaters it’s still a bit chilly. Can I make you a cuppa?’
With a sigh of relief, I smiled. ‘That would be nice.’
‘Look,’ Ben said, ‘we haven’t got off to the best start. Shall we start again?’
‘That would be good.’ I leaned against the island as he reached for another mug. ‘Is your daughter enjoying the snow?’
He turned around and smiled, which set off a fluttery sensation inside my chest. It was quite a smile, full of fun and a hint of mischief. ‘Rosie is loving the snow. Although the sledge I made us goes far too fast.’
‘That sounds cool. A handmade sledge. Doesn’t she like going fast?’
He laughed. ‘That’s the worry – she wants it to go faster. Do you like sledging?’
‘Love it,’ I gushed. ‘Rosie sounds like me when I was little. I was a speed demon from a young age. I reckon I have still got it when it comes to sledging speed.’
Ben grinned. ‘Fighting talk. Be careful or you might find yourself up against a sledge pro like me.’
He poured milk into the cups and I imagined the thrill of having a sledging race against him. My heartbeat quickened at the thought… until my mind reminded me that he probably had a beautiful wife who would not be impressed at our sledge race.
He stirred both mugs. ‘Rosie’s school is shut again and that’s causing me childcare issues.’
‘Must be tricky.’ I pictured Ben with a pretty wife and Rosie all larking about in the snow. ‘Does your other half work full time as well?’
He brought over my mug of tea, and I noticed how he kept his eyes fixed on the floor. ‘It’s just me and Rosie. My mum is helping me out again but I’m not sure whether she can do it tomorrow.’
‘Oh, I see,’ I said, sliding onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table and hiding my excitement at hearing him say he was a single father.
‘Do you have kids, a partner?’
I shook my head. ‘No, just me.’
He took a sip of his tea and grinned at Grandpa and Tom’s laughter from behind the construction sheet. ‘Sounds like they’re having fun.’
‘It’s nice to hear him enjoying himself.’
Ben looked at me. ‘I can tell you’re close to your grandpa.’
‘Grandpa and my sister, Maddie, are my family favourites.’ Humphrey leapt up from his basket and started barking at me. ‘Calm down, Humphrey,’ I exclaimed, ‘you are so bossy. Let me finish my tea.’
The dog took one look at me and hurried out of the kitchen.
A mobile phone began to ring, and I knew it wasn’t mine by the ringtone. Ben put down his tea and checked his pockets. ‘Ah, where is it?’ He stuck his head through the sheet. ‘Tom, is my phone in there?’
Heavy boots come closer and then Ben answered the call. ‘Hello, Mum, everything okay?’
He gasped. ‘What? You can’t find her? She must be in the house… She was there when I left earlier.’
‘What? Her wellies have gone, and the back door is open. I’m coming back.’ He let out a heavy sigh and walked back into the kitchen. ‘Mum can’t find Rosie. I need to go home.’ He ran his hand through his wavy brown hair. ‘Sorry, I’ll be back. Rosie is nearly seven and thinks she’s an adult.’
‘Oh, no, do you want me to come with you?’ The words tumbled out of my mouth to my surprise.
‘Really?’ He seemed taken aback.
I grabbed my coat and sunk my feet into a pair of wellies that I’d been using. ‘I used to go on adventures by myself a lot when I was little. Is your van around the back or out the front?’
‘Bizarrely I left it out the front when we arrived.’
Without a thought about Humphrey, Ben helped me open the front door and as I tried to close it, Humphrey shot out. Before I could shout and scream with frustration, he darted down the snow-covered driveway.
I trudged to Ben’s blue van. ‘Leave him. He’ll be fine.’
Ben’s van did a better job of driving down the snowy driveway than my car would have done. An older woman was waiting outside Ben’s cottage as we pulled up. Ben clambered out and I followed. ‘You found her?’
The woman shook her head. She was tall like Ben, with brown curly hair. ‘Her coat and wellies are missing. She left me a hand-drawn picture of her in the snow.’
‘Is the sledge still there?’
His mum nodded. ‘I left her alone for two minutes. I thought she was in the back room with her dollies.’
Ben strode away and headed into the back garden shouting, ‘Rosie!’
Ben’s mum ran her hands through her hair. ‘I’m so worried. You hear these stories of children being taken. I hope she’s okay.’
Reaching out I placed my hand on her arm. ‘We’ll find her. She can’t have gone far.’
‘I was doing some housework and I thought it had gone quiet in the lounge. Rosie has this independent streak in her. She’d been talking about going on an adventure when I arrived to look after her. I thought she was referring to something in one of her books.’
‘She sounds like me when I was her age.’
Ben came back. His face was taut with worry. ‘Rosie!’ he bellowed across the snow.
‘We should call the police. Oh, Ben, I am so sorry, I feel terrible. If anything has happened to our beautiful little girl, I will never forgive…’
Ben wrapped his strong arms around his mum and pulled her close. ‘Hey, come on. We will find her.’
I surveyed the lane and remembered Derek’s car from the day before. The tree he’d gone into was nursing a huge dent. Opposite Ben’s cottage and across the road was woodland. ‘Would Rosie have crossed the road and gone into the woods?’
Ben shook his head. ‘No, she would never cross this road by herself. Maybe she’s headed into town. I’ll go ask the neighbours.’
My heart was pounding in my chest. If I was Rosie and I was desperate to go on an adventure – where would I go?
Whenever Maddie and I went to stay with Nana and Grandpa in the summer holidays I was always the one who wanted to go off on an adventure. Maddie never wanted to cause Nana and Grandpa any worry so she would always say no when I begged her. After Maddie had said no, I would sneak out of the house to go on an adventure by myself. My adventures always ended up in the large forest at the end of Grandpa and Nana’s garden. I used to love the smell of the trees, their branches which always formed a protective canopy above me, and the crackling of twigs under foot.
It was then I heard a dog barking in the woodland opposite. That dog bark sounded familiar. ‘Humphrey?’ I recalled how Humphrey had stopped Rosie feeling sad the other day. Was Humphrey with Rosie now? It was a long shot. I ran across the snowy road and entered the woodland. ‘Humphrey, come here.’ He was still barking.
In a flash Ben was behind me. His loud footsteps thundered behind me. I followed the barking and pushed my way through the snowy bushes until I came to a clearing. There sat on a log was Rosie with her red bobble hat on, her red coat and matching wellies. Beside her was Humphrey, wagging his tail and gazing up her.
Relief flooded through me. ‘Ben, she’s here,’ I cried, as he appeared from the bushes.
‘Rosie,’ he gasped and ran to her. ‘What are doing out here in the cold and on your own?’
She smiled. ‘I went on an adventure and Humph-Wee came to find me.’
‘Rosie,’ Ben said, sitting down beside her on the log. ‘You can’t go on adventures by yourself. You mustn’t cross that road by yourself.’
‘I like going on adventures with Humph-Wee,’ she said, stroking Humphrey.
‘Let’s get you home with Nana,’ ordered Ben.
Humphrey refused to walk with me or let me grab his collar. He only had eyes for Rosie, which made her giggle. ‘Humph-Wee is naughty.’
Once we got across the road, Ben’s mother rushed to greet Rosie and scooped her into her arms. ‘I’ve been so worried, Rosie.’
‘Sorry, Nana, I went on an adventure with Humph-Wee.’
Ben’s mum looked down at Humphrey. ‘Oh, he’s adorable.’
‘Looks can be deceiving,’ I said, which made Ben chuckle. ‘He’s the naughtiest dog ever.’
Ben turned to me. ‘He’s a hero now in my eyes. I feel bad for calling him a naughty dog.’
I waited for Ben in his van with Humphrey on my lap. Ben was having a stern word with Rosie inside.
He came out grinning and climbed in beside me. ‘Well, that was fun.’ He reached over and stroked Humphrey. ‘Thanks, little fella.’ As he pulled his hand back, he held my gaze and a fluttery sensation engulfed my chest.