Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
Sleep wasn’t my friend. By two in the morning, I was still wide awake and thinking about Maddie, Frank, Vanessa, the secretive side of the house and betraying Layla. My head was full of questions. Were Frank and Maddie living separate lives? Had she caught Frank cheating on her? When I came to bed, I did think about texting Maddie to ask about Frank and Vanessa, but I stopped myself. Aunty Bev and I had assumed the worst. There could be a plausible explanation for why Maddie had circled their names. There had to be another way of bringing this situation out into the open. Aunty Bev and I needed proof.
At the edge of my mind sat my thoughts about Ben which were also trying to attract my attention. Reaching over I grabbed Olivia’s pink notebook. I needed to read her words and feel like she was with me. Flipping over the first page I felt instantly soothed at seeing her swirly handwriting – How I Got Over Losing a Wonderful Friend, by Olivia Lunn.
I opened it to the next chapter I was on. The title made me skip a breath. Don’t Make Stupid Mistakes.
Propping up pillows behind me I started to read.
Grief makes you do stupid things. It takes hold of your mind and body and instructs you to do things which on a normal day would make you freak out. Grief leaves you untethered and alone. It turns off the lights and makes you reach out for support. The trouble is, when you do try to cling to something and the lights go on, you realise you made a dreadful mistake.
She’d been gone for a month, and I was helping my friend look after his baby daughter. His daughter was sleeping upstairs. We were sat on the sofa together.
My heart had started to beat so loud I could hear it thumping inside my chest. All the saliva in my throat had evaporated. Ben was the friend whom Olivia was with. I clamped my hand over my forehead. Did I want to read what sort of mistake Olivia made with Ben?
Nausea swirled around my tummy. What the hell had Olivia done?
Through the gaps between my fingers, I read on.
I wanted someone to hold me. I was bereft. I was emotional and I wanted physical touch.
I slammed the book shut. Oh God, Olivia had slept with Ben in a grief-fuelled state. I didn’t want to read it. Closing my eyes I massaged my temples. I took some deep breaths and remembered what Connor had said. Maybe Olivia was managing this thing with Ben from heaven and maybe she trying to show me something. With a trembling hand I opened the notebook again and gasped.
I threw myself at my friend. I kissed him on the lips, pressed my body against his and I ran my hands through his hair.
Shutting my eyes I let out a wail of frustration. ‘Oh, Olivia, what are you doing to me? I can’t read this.’ An uncomfortable feeling passed over me. Olivia had slept with Ben. This was her stupid mistake. She was stunning with an hourglass figure, raven silky locks and a sexy smile. Ben would not have resisted her advances. I placed the notebook under my pillow. This situation with Ben now felt awkward and messy. I decided to lock my feelings for Ben away at the back of my mind.
Sleep found me soon after and teleported me to the perfume counter in Boots where Olivia was trying to persuade me to buy Angel by Mugler. She was frantically waving the little white tester card under my nose and saying, ‘Isn’t this divine?’
As I got showered and changed after waking, I thought about the old me who sat in her flat day in, day out, swapping over buckets and finding more things to stick in my Olivia shrine.
I now wanted to do things like cook, paint and help the local community. Throwing back the bedroom curtains I surveyed the snow-coated countryside. It was a much better view than that of those claustrophobic office buildings which always felt like they were hemming me in. Harp Brook was growing on me, despite the Frank situation. I liked being away from the city and I wanted to be close to people like Maddie, Layla and Abi. I could feel Olivia here too, in Harp Brook, and that was something which wasn’t scary, it was giving me a lot of comfort.
Tom arrived first the next morning. ‘Ben’s going to be late,’ he explained as I handed him a mug of tea. Relief swept over me at not having to see Ben after what I’d read.
Layla and Zac came into the kitchen. ‘Morning, Rachel and Tom,’ Layla said with a smile. ‘Did you get the scenery finished?’
I nodded. ‘Yes, and I am going tonight to watch the nativity. Abi just texted to say Grandpa and I have two tickets. Any news on Derek?’
She beamed. ‘He comes out tomorrow. We have talked every day since I saw him in hospital.’
Aunty Bev appeared. ‘Morning, all. Can you believe it – this morning I woke up and tried to blow out my phone alarm like it was a candle. I think living in this huge house is giving me delusions of grandeur. Bring on the extra strong coffee.’
Layla grinned. ‘That’s funny, Bev. Has anyone seen Humphrey?’
‘Humphrey?’ I searched for him under the table. He wasn’t in his basket. ‘Oh no,’ I groaned, ‘Has he gone missing again?’
Grandpa appeared behind me. ‘That dog is off enjoying the start of his Christmas week. Leave him alone.’ He turned on the radio and soon the kitchen was filled with East 17’s Christmas pop hit.
Layla surveyed the kitchen as Grandpa urged me to dance with him. She poked her head through the construction sheet. ‘Tom, you seen Humphrey?’
Pulling away from Grandpa I ran my hand through my hair. ‘That dog is a rascal!’
Grandpa placed a hand on my shoulder. ‘Relax, he’s probably saving someone’s life again or finding a lost child. That dog is a little hero. When he disappears, we shouldn’t panic. Who wants a cuppa?’
I made us all a cup of tea and some fried sandwiches as it was the start of our Christmas week. Aunty Bev went into the hallway. She returned as I carried the sandwiches to the table and glanced around the kitchen. ‘Can you hear a dog barking?’
Leaping up I turned off the radio. She was right. There was the sound of a muffled dog bark. ‘Humphrey?’ I called out, walking into the reception hall.
Layla followed with Zac on her hip. ‘Humphrey?’
I gulped as I realised the barking was coming from inside the west wing. Layla noticed as well and walked towards the locked doors. ‘He’s in the west wing. How the hell did he get in there?’
Without thinking I ran to Layla’s bag in the hallway, grabbed the keys and ran to the door. She stared at me. ‘How do you know they’re the keys? Did you just go in my bag?’
Blood rushed past my ears and my heart thumped against my ribcage. ‘Layla, I just guessed…’
I handed her the keys, and she opened the door to let an excited Humphrey out. ‘I know you’ve been in here, Rachel.’ Swiftly she shut the door and locked it. ‘You’ve let me down, Rachel, after everything we have been through. I trusted you.’ Before I could say another word, she ran away upstairs.
Aunty Bev appeared and made a fuss of Humphrey.
‘Layla knows we have been in the west wing,’ I mumbled with a heavy chest. ‘She knows we found the keys in her handbag. I have betrayed her.’
‘Don’t worry,’ soothed Aunty Bev, ‘I’ll speak to her.’
‘I didn’t want to put her in a difficult position. She’s been through a lot.’
‘Relax,’ assured Aunty Bev, ‘it will be fine. We had to find out what was going on.’
As I walked back into the kitchen, Grandpa was holding up my phone. I groaned as I saw that Mum was facetiming me. We hadn’t spoken since I’d hung up on her.
‘Hello, Mum,’ I said, after pressing accept.
My mother’s face appeared on the screen. Once again, she was on her sunbed. Today she was wearing a bright red halter-neck bikini. Her hair was pinned up at the back and in her ears were gigantic golden hoops. ‘Hello, Rachel. It’s good to see you’ve calmed down.’
I bit my lip at her dig. ‘How are you?’
She frowned. ‘Where’s Bev?’
‘Janice, I’m here,’ shouted Aunty Bev, peering over my shoulder and waving.
Relief passed over Mum’s face. ‘Thank God you’re there, Bev. We’ve all been so worried.’
Aunty Bev cackled with laughter. ‘As well as drinking and partying, Janice?’
‘Bev, this is no time for jokes. How is our father?’ In the background the sounds of heels clopping towards the phone could be heard, followed by Aunty Karen’s voice. ‘Janice, prepare yourself, Bev has walked into utter chaos.’
‘He’s fine,’ shouted Grandpa, holding aloft his cup of tea.
Aunty Bev smiled. ‘Janice and Karen, I haven’t seen Dad this happy in a long time. He told me that living here is a hundred times better than back at his home with Karen popping in every day.’
There was the sound of hissing and mumbling in Tenerife. Mum must have passed her phone to Aunty Karen as she appeared on the screen. Her pink sunburnt face made me gasp. ‘Beverly, that’s a hurtful thing to say. I do such a lot for Dad.’
‘Like what, Karen?’ Aunty Bev shouted. ‘From what I’ve heard – you do bugger all!’
Aunty Karen yelped with shock. ‘How dare you say that, Beverly! You never come up here as you’re too busy cavorting with that ninety-year-old millionaire, the one who pays for you to go on luxury holidays with him every time you flash a bit of leg.’
‘At least I enjoy myself,’ roared Aunty Bev. ‘I’d rather be on holiday with Harold and his millions than sitting watching Robert gawp at my hairdresser.’
Irritation at my family prickled away at me. I didn’t need another facetime argument and there were more pressing matters at hand like my sister’s husband having an affair and me betraying Layla’s trust. ‘We’re not having another row on this phone; we have enough stress going on here as it is.’
My mother snatched the phone back from Aunty Karen as I let out an inner groan. Why did I say the last bit of that sentence?’
‘What do you mean, Rachel? I knew you were not telling us everything.’
I had to act fast. ‘Mum, Christmas Day is on Friday, and I must cook for us all. There is more snow forecast and it’s hard work here keeping everyone fed and watered.’
Mum eyed me suspiciously. ‘You’re making me worry and I want a cocktail. It’s still early here and Gary has said no booze until after lunch.’
‘Please can I have one, Janice,’ sobbed Aunty Karen in the background. ‘Beverly has hurt my feelings.’
I’d had enough of my family. ‘Look, it’s Christmas, can we all be nice?’
‘I don’t want to speak to Beverly,’ wailed Aunty Karen.
‘Merry Christmas,’ shouted Aunty Beverly and I hung up.