5. The shoe fit a lot better than I’d anticipated. #3
“Enjoy yourself, and know if you’re not home by noon, I’ll be coming for you. I fully intend to enjoy every minute of the chase. I don’t have to go back to work until January, so I have all the time in the world.” As I knew how much she enjoyed my growl, I catered to her. “Mrs. Quinn.”
“Mr. Chief Quinn,” she growled back. “Catch me if you can.”
“Oh, I will,” I promised. “You have until noon unless you wish to surrender now.”
“Like hell I’ll surrender,” my wife hissed. “I’ll call you tomorrow and mock your failure to catch me.”
She hung up, and I laughed.
Perkins coughed. “Dare I ask?”
“She’s going to call me tomorrow and mock me for failing to catch her.”
He sighed. “She’s getting carried away.”
“Like we aren’t?”
“Good point. What are we going to do until noon?”
“Sleep, then we’ll get a rental in the morning and follow our wives. I’d like to keep them one step ahead of us, so if we’re needed, we’re close.”
“With a wolf puppy in tow?”
“Well, she’ll be used to car rides soon. It’s training.”
Shaking his head, my friend sighed again. “Whatever you say, Sam. How is it I became the bastion of sanity?”
“I’m more concerned you think you’re a bastion of sanity. Your wife collects misdemeanors and community service hours when she gets bored.”
“I really can’t dispute that. We even had a proper wedding, and it was my idea.”
“Think I should give Bailey a proper wedding for Christmas?”
“You got her a puppy. I think that’s a sufficient Christmas present.”
“It’s really not. She deserves a proper wedding.”
“In Vegas?” Perkins laughed. “That’s hardly proper.”
“The Venetian has a nice chapel.”
“If it hasn’t been booked.”
In Vegas, everything could be purchased for a price, and a lot of people would work in the middle of the night for a nice paycheck. “Let’s find out. Planning a wedding will keep us busy while we pretend we have no idea where our wives are.”
“This is going to be a disaster,” Perkins predicted.
“Well, yes. I’m married to the Calamity Queen. What were you expecting?”
“Caution.”
I snorted. “Please. Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“What did Bailey tell you the last time you asked that?”
“That it was hiding with her common sense.”
“What she said.”
Bailey
I doubted I’d ever understand Quinn. How had he translated my list to mean I wanted a puppy?
Would he realize Perkette and I meant to go to Vegas?
Had we not left enough clues? Shaking my head, I retreated to the nearest bathroom with a warning to spray down the tiles with neutralizer once I finished transforming.
The grade of transformative I used wouldn’t hurt anyone, but I played by all the rules, even the annoying ones.
Ten minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom with my clothes dangling from my mouth.
The groomer, an older gentleman armed with a utility belt loaded with combs, brushes, and clippers of various sizes, looked me over.
“It’s not every day I get to groom a cindercorn.
Set your clothes down; a tech will be by to neutralize the bathroom and handle the rest of the cleaning. You want a standard trim?”
I set my clothes down and replied, “Puh-lease. Make mane pretty? Tail, too?”
“Braids over the top to thin your mane somewhat while leaving the rest long? It’s too nice to hide.”
“Some braids nice, puh-leash. Talk hard, sor-ree.”
“That you can talk at all is impressive, ma’am. Please come with me.”
He led me to a grooming room and retrieved a bottle of powder from a tall shelf.
“Since your breed isn’t tolerant of water, I’ll use this instead.
It’ll clean your coat and add some shine.
Don’t ask how it works. I’ve been using it for years and still don’t get it.
It’s expensive, but you’ll like the results. ”
“Water bad, fire good. Pow-dur bet-ter than water.”
“I’ll admit, I never thought I’d get a chance to groom any sort of unicorn.
We get a lot of centaurs, and some of the desert breeds hate the water, too.
We’re trained in most species. Zoos and rehab centers contact the emergency clinics if they get an exotic.
It’s free schooling for me, but I’m required to volunteer hours in emergency situations.
As I’d do that anyway, it worked out great. ”
“That nice. They teach tooth clean-ing, too?”
“You open your mouth, I operate the toothbrush. Sentients are easy. Carnivore?”
“Yes. Very. Burn, eat. Eat ash and coal, too. And other things.”
“Fuels? I can do a tooth check and brushing if you’d like. It’ll only add five or ten minutes.”
“Yes, puh-lease.”
It took him over an hour to trim my fur, tend to my mane and tail, and do a full nose-to-hoof check. As promised, he even gave my teeth a good brushing. I passed the basic examination with flying colors, which would make Quinn happy.
Then, under the watchful eye of the veterinarian, I met my new puppy as a unicorn. He growled once, cast a doubtful glare at the vet, and then regarded me like a challenge to overcome, which beat him running away while yipping from terror. “He no run. This is good. Can work with this, yes?”
“He’ll need training.” The woman considered my puppy for a long moment, and then she smiled. “No, this is promising. I had the urge to run when I first saw your teeth.”
Wise people did. My teeth could crunch through bone without much effort.
“Hus-band po-leese off-ee-sur. He know dog train-ers. I hire one.”
“Oh! A police trainer would work nicely. I’ll give you a sheet with his future vaccination schedule.
I took the liberty of selecting the basics you’ll need for his care.
It’s waiting for you in reception. If you have any questions, please ask.
I’ve also prepared your first rabies treatment and had the rest packaged for you in individual dosages. ”
“Clothes clean?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll bring them to the bathroom for you.”
“Thank you.”
Twenty painful minutes later and one rabies treatment down the hatch, I emerged from the bathroom so tired I shook.
The aftermath of forcing myself to shift didn’t help any, but I hadn’t bled anywhere.
I was proud of myself for that. The first time I’d shifted without waiting for the transformatives to wear off, I’d terrified a few years off Quinn’s life and left a disturbingly large puddle of blood on the floor.
Five minutes later, a thousand dollars in the hole, and armed with new supplies for my puppy, I left.
My puppy still regarded me warily, but he didn’t growl. I carried him with his supplies hanging from my arms. At the station, I shouldered my way inside. “I’m sorry that took so long. We both needed to be treated for rabies.”
I set my puppy on the floor and secured a hold on his leash. “Is Perkette booked and ready to go?”
The cop behind the counter grinned. “She’s in general holding, rather miffed she’s alone. You can take her.”
“Please tell me she was only charged with misdemeanors.”
“I wouldn’t know, ma’am. How did your puppy do at the vet?”
I beamed. “He did great.”
“Named him yet?”
“Not yet. He deserves a good name, so I’m going to think about it for a while.”
“That he does. I’ll call for your friend to be released, so feel free to take a seat. It won’t be long.”