9. Violence isn’t a problem. #5
“I heard something about her and a cold. What happened?”
“She used her wayfinding magic and found an ocelot kitten. The rest of the litter and its mother were dead. She retrieved the kitten as a unicorn.”
“In that blizzard?”
“Yep.”
“Right. Going to call the twins?”
“Sure am.”
“I’ll get the medications, check the instructions, and find a hotel if you’re okay with that. Otherwise, we’ll drive through the night, and I’ll take a breather after your chill pill wears off.”
“We’ll get a hotel. Let’s give the kids some stability. We’ll save mad dashes across the country for if it’s really needed.”
Tonight, I’d hope and pray it wouldn’t be needed while preparing for the worst.
Hopes and prayers did jack shit in the long run, an illusion with potential power if the divine felt benevolent and happened to be listening in.
I had enough trouble without any divines listening in, so I’d just stick to the hope part of my night and skip the prayers. Maybe that might mitigate the mayhem.
Then again, I had a prescription for chill pills courtesy of my divine great-grandfather. No matter what I did, I was probably screwed, so maybe I’d indulge in a little prayer after all.
It couldn’t really hurt, could it?
Bailey
To give us a better idea of where we needed to go to move forward with our plan to put an end to the rabies threat, I attempted to use my magic again. Instead of a trail of glittery light to follow, I took an unscheduled nap.
In the snow.
Tiffany would’ve been justified to leave my ass out in the cold to freeze to death, but she took pity on me, shoved me into the rental, and slapped me back to consciousness.
I made a note to never underestimate the strength of a mad scientist again.
“We’re going to a hotel, I’m going to take care of your demon kitten and puppy, and you’re going to sleep,” she announced.
“And we will never speak of this to anyone. If Sam finds out I let you push yourself to the point you fell over in the snow, he’ll begin his career as a biologist and dissect me. ”
He would. “Sorry.”
“It’s my fault. I forgot you have a tendency to push yourself beyond your limits because you have no sense of self-preservation.”
I couldn’t argue with her, so I didn’t. “I’ll take care of Avalanche and Blizzard.”
“No, you won’t. You will go into the room, take a warm shower, and go to bed.
I will take care of the animals. I’m also going to feed you warm soup and get you medication so you don’t expire from the plague.
I’m just glad Sam didn’t clue in something was wrong.
I swear, that man has a sixth sense when it comes to you. ”
Since even I recognized arguing with her wouldn’t accomplish anything, I nodded. To remind her he had less of a sixth sense and the help of a magical ball and chain, I lifted my arm and showed her my bracelet. “It’s probably this thing and not a sixth sense.”
“Oh. Right. Still. I’m surprised he didn’t call.”
“Well, he does know I have a cold.”
“True. Blast the heat as high as you need it and stay warm until we get to the hotel. Tomorrow, if you’re not perking up, I’ll whip you up a small batch of napalm, drive you somewhere remote, and let you go to town.”
“That sounds like a very bad idea.”
“It sounds like a great idea. You can cook the virus out of you.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s a really bad idea, Perkette. Anyway, I’m banned from having napalm.”
“It won’t be napalm, specifically. It’ll be a thick variant of gasoline with a few special ingredients.”
“Which is also known as napalm.”
“If you get really sick, I’m shoving transformatives down your throat, and I will hold your furry ass down and make you eat the napalm.”
Damn. When Perkette started issuing threats, she meant business, and I had no doubt she’d live up to her ultimatum.
Calling Quinn and begging for help might save me—maybe.
Then again, Perkette might find some way to torture my husband, too.
“Fine, but only if I get really, really sick—like in the hospital addressing people as models sick.”
“You only addressed Sam as a model of any sort, which is probably a good thing. He’s the jealous type.”
“He really is.”
“So are you.”
I stared at her. “Have you met the man?”
“Surprisingly, yes.”
“Maybe you can explain why me. I can’t figure it out.”
Perkette sighed. “You’re you. That’s why. Just roll with it.”
I blinked. “Have you met me?”
“Surprisingly, yes.”
“I’m a walking disaster.”
“He appreciates a good challenge.”
That he did. “Anything else we shouldn’t tell Quinn?”
“If you get seriously sick, he’ll freak. And by freak, I mean he’ll have a meltdown. A really bad one. In fact, I’m going to make certain you don’t have to go to the hospital at all, because if you do, he’ll lose his mind.”
“Are you running for an understatement of the year award?”
“No, but I really should,” Perkette replied. “Get some rest. I’ll take care of the hotel and the pets. And no, don’t argue with me. If you get really sick, our fun trip—and our chance to put an end to this idiot rabies outbreak—goes up in smoke.”