12. My grandfather? Also an incubus. #2
“Shit, Sam. Get Bailey on the phone, ask your grandfathers to watch the pets, and set Bailey loose. We’ve clocked her at over two hundred miles an hour, and the woman just doesn’t tire.
If she’s out on a sunny day? She could cross the country in a day.
We’ve tested some, and as long as she’s at a full gallop when she jumps, it doesn’t even bother her rider much. ”
I blinked. “I see she’s been doing a lot of testing behind my back.”
“Don’t feel bad about it, Sam. I was the guinea pig because she knew how sick I got the first time she took me on a trip.
We’ve figured out it has to do with inertia; as long as she’s at top speed when she jumps, her riders don’t really suffer from the jumps.
We knew you were resilient to her jumping, so it was pointless testing with you.
And she gets distracted when you’re riding her.
Her focus snaps to making sure you stay perfectly safe.
She’s willing to dump my ass off her back because I’m not you. ”
While I didn’t like it, I acknowledged his point with a nod. “All right.” I got the kids into the SUV before digging out my phone and calling Bailey’s number.
“You again?” my wife answered, her tone amused. While her voice was still rough, she did sound better than earlier.
“Me again. Do you trust one of my pesky relatives to watch the pets? Perkins had an idea.”
“Shoot.”
“Transform, get saddled up, and take Tiffany to Janet. You could make it to Vegas by nightfall if you haul ass.”
“But we have the rental…”
“One of my pesky relatives can take care of the rental and the pets. They can’t meddle, but there’s nothing in the rule book saying they can’t follow you while you meddle.” I smiled. “We need to get to Janet as quickly as possible, and you’re the only one I can think of who can do it.”
“I’m in. It’ll suck, but I’m in. The SUV is loaded with neutralizer, too. In case there’s an outbreak.”
“Good. I’ll ask my grandfathers to make sure it follows after you while you do the heavy lifting. I’ll call them and call you back. Sound good?”
“I’ll talk to Tiffany about the details. We might need to use the n word.”
Napalm. The thought of my wife rampaging across the United States while on a napalm bender terrified the hell out of me, but there was no better fuel for her. “Ask Tiffany if she can make her blend with store-bought supplies.”
The sound clicked off Bailey’s phone, indicating she’d muted her line while she talked to Tiffany. I found that amusing, and while I waited, I considered how best to ask my grandfathers to care for the husky and ocelot.
They would be less than thrilled with me, but I couldn’t think of another way to make Bailey willing to leave them for any period of time.
“Okay. She says we can. Apparently, one of the ingredients is neutralizer, and we’ve got the best of the best in the back. She says the ignition point is even higher than the ridiculous stuff the CDC uses, so it should be good for me for a long run.”
“Okay, listen to me carefully, Bailey.”
“I’m listening.”
“Go to the nearest police station and ask for a temporary badge; tell them you were on vacation. Tell them to patch in through the FBI for the badge. Get a firearm exemption for Tiffany, and tell them to pull her records. Have them arm her with the best firearm they can. Tiffany’s good with a gun, and I want you to have backup, okay?
Also, tell them you’re going in after one of your kidnapped officers; Dowry’s already confirmed the transfer, so Janet is ours. ”
“Got it. Should I just go straight to an FBI building?”
“If you can find one. Do not go to the CDC.”
“Why not?”
“I trust the FBI more right now,” I replied, allowing my tone to darken. “They can handle your badge situation, too. They can also care for the pets until my grandfathers arrive. They’ll guard your rental and supplies as needed. The FBI and the NYPD have a good relationship.”
“But we’re not in New York.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re a cop, and the FBI gets cops. We have friendly feuds, but at the end of the day, when a cop is in trouble, the FBI is who we turn to.”
“All right. We’ll be heading to the nearest FBI building. How are the kids?”
I smiled at the breathless quality of my wife’s voice. “They’re good. They’re going to help us do research work. They’re sweet, and I think you’ll like them.”
“Like them?” My wife’s laughter soothed me as nothing else. “I already love the little brats, and I’ll rip the snakes off anyone who tries to come between me and those poor babies.”
Bailey never did anything in half measures, and if I loved her any more, my heart would surely burst. “We are supposed to withstand a beating for them, Bailey. That doesn’t mean beat the competition into full submission.”
“I can beat the competition into submission before accepting a beating. Grudgingly.”
The grudgingly part worried me. “The kids do get to decide.”
“I’m very bad at charming people,” Bailey whined. “But I’m good in a fight! They’ll understand that, right?”
I smiled at the two kids, who were already lost in their books. “You fight, I’ll charm.”
“Deal! And you screwed the pooch this time, Police Chief Samuel Quinn!” my wife crowed. “You’re letting me do the fighting while you’re doing the charming, so you can’t stop me this time! I get to fight!”
Shit. I laughed despite knowing I had made a basic mistake and removed my ability to protest her participation in the fight.
“You win. Get to the FBI station, get your badge taken care of, and go find Janet. We’ll be hot on your heels.
I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll need you to update us with your position.
Once your rental is gone, we won’t be able to track you anymore. ”
“We’ll be talking about you tracking the rental, you sneaky man.”
She’d find I would be a willing participant in whatever punishment she had in mind. “Noted.”
“Good. We’ll call you with updates as we have them,” my wife promised before hanging up. I took a deep breath, sighed, and called my angelic grandfather.
One day, I’d figure out how an angel kept a cell phone, but by the second ring, he answered, “How can I be of service, little grandson?”
“I know you’re not allowed to meddle in this situation, but is watching a husky puppy and an ocelot kitten meddling? And perhaps driving a rental car to Las Vegas along with a very expensive stash of high-grade neutralizer?”
“An arrangement could be made,” my grandfather replied.
I sighed again, this time out of relief. “Thank you. Bailey is going after Janet, and I don’t want her worrying about the pets. We’re going to blitz—”
“Take a plane, my little grandson. It will be much faster and beneficial for you to do so.”
I blinked, wondering how I could have possibly failed to consider the option of taking a flight out west. “Huh. You’re a fountain of wisdom.”
My grandfather chuckled. “You have something else you want to ask.”
“Think you and grandfather can help Tiffany? A child for Christmas. I already told Arthur I’d try to help.”
“That’s the sort of meddling we can help with, yes. Has he asked?”
I held the phone out to Perkins. “Ask for a child for Christmas, Arthur.”
Perkins’s eyes widened, but he took the phone. “Uh, hello? Oh! Sylvester. I, uh… I don’t suppose it’s possible for us to have a child? At Christmas? She’s…”
I smothered my desire to laugh at my friend’s perplexed expression. He wouldn’t understand I’d laugh out of happiness for him rather than mockery at his nervousness. A moment later, he handed the phone back, and I pretended I didn’t notice the sheen of tears in his eyes.
“Nervous, that one,” my grandfather said as soon as I had the phone near my ear. “However embarrassing that may have been for him to say, it needed to be said.”
“I told him about the need to ask.”
“I know. I will take a moment to check in with your bride when I go to care for your pets. Your worries for her are more potent than usual.”
“She’s sick from being out in the cold as a unicorn.”
“She’ll be fine. She’ll be plenty warm enough soon, so don’t worry.”
“That reminds me. I need a new prescription for a chill pill. Tiffany said the one I have is wrong.”
“I’ll take care of it and have the details sent to your phone along with where you can pick up the prescription in Las Vegas. It’s so much fun when mortals tell the divine they’re doing their job wrong. I look forward to seeing Anubis’s face when I tell him a mortal has better sense than he does.”
I bet he would. “Thank you for taking care of Bailey.”
“Always, my little grandson. Always. And you should be proud of yourself.”
“Why?”
“It takes a lot of courage for a man like you to let your bride find her strength and truly fly. We’re proud of you both.”
My grandfather hung up, and I stared at the display for a long time, my brows furrowing as I considered his words.
“Everything okay, Sam?”
I pocketed my phone and smiled, and some of the tightness in my chest eased. “Yeah, Perkins. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
We’d make everything fine one way or the other.