1. Crazy man. #2
Somebody needed to give his tongue a hazard rating, and as he wasn’t above cheating, he enhanced his claim over my lips with a touch of his incubus influence, warning me what I’d have in store for me after the eating, the brawling, and whatever else needed to happen before we could head to our suite.
Once he finished with me, all I could manage was a whispered, “You’re pure evil.”
He grinned at me. “And now you get to stew until I get you back to our room tonight. I will be the luckiest of men.”
“Are we going to fight over which one of us is the luckiest?”
“Absolutely. But only once we’re in bed.”
Whee. “I forgot what I’m supposed to do now. You distracted me with your mouth.”
“It’s an art I’ve been cultivating with daily practice, making sure you’re incapable of even thinking once I’ve had my way with your mouth.” Quinn linked my arm with his. “Now we walk through the gauntlet of people eagerly waiting to throw things at us, as this is somehow romantic.”
“Are they flinging money at us? That would be romantic.”
Despite having mostly whispered my question, everybody laughed.
“Alas, you’re getting rose petals rather than dollar bills. You’re my bride, not a stripper.”
As I’d probably die from mortification if I even thought about stripping for anyone other than him in the privacy of our bedroom, I couldn’t blame anybody for chortling over his reply.
They knew me well, especially the feathered menace giggling a storm in the front row, who could read my mind at his whim.
I still wondered how a headless being could giggle.
“I’d be a terrible stripper,” I conceded. “I’d be trying to add layers rather than remove them.”
“You really would.” Quinn shook his head, chuckled, and had to drag me the first few steps to get me to move through the gauntlet of cops and family.
As warned, we were pelted with rose petals, and because some cops had a twisted sense of humor, a few bills fluttered our way.
Quinn’s grip on my arm kept me from chasing them down, but he caught one and handed it to me.
“I’m sure you can figure out what to do with that later. ”
Whee. If someone wanted to get my dollar, they would have to pry it from my cold, dead hands—and get through my gorgon-incubus doohickey first. As I was in no hurry to escape his clutches, I’d enjoy his hovering.
When I did finally tire of his overprotective ways, I’d transform into a fire-breathing unicorn and nip him until he behaved.
Or he joined me as the world’s best cindercorn stallion.
Janet and Tiffany, both of whom had been recruited as bridesmaids so I could pretend I had a somewhat normal wedding, waited until we reached the end of the gauntlet before they both offered me twenty dollar bills.
I looked my husband in the eyes while depositing the cash in my bra.
“Thank you, ladies,” Quinn said, grinning at our friends. “I very much appreciate your donation to my post-wedding activities. I’d say evening, but I suspect it’ll be closer to morning before we escape.”
Janet snickered. “The Devil told me I had to make sure you both showed up for dinner. It seems everyone went present shopping today, and you’re to accept all your gifts at the restaurant.
Apparently, this will be done in an orderly fashion and in pairs so Bailey doesn’t try to bolt for the door from embarrassment. Also, you owe me, woman.”
“I do?” I asked.
“I convinced your father to let you brawl a little with that gorgon you keep wanting to pick a fight with. You can thank the angels in the front row. They suggested it would be good for your little ones to be exposed to all forms of your magic early, including shapeshifting.”
“Does everybody know?” I whispered.
“Yes.” Janet pointed at the front row, where the Devil sat with his brothers, chatting while waiting for us to get out of the way so everyone could follow us to dinner. “It’s his fault.”
Technically, being pregnant with twins was the Devil’s fault, along with some help from his winged menaces of brothers.
While Quinn took steps to prevent our family from growing unexpectedly, his incubus powers didn’t stand a chance against his divine relatives.
“That is true. Quinn, we should get revenge on him. Perhaps as unicorns, after we have some napalm.”
Janet grinned. “And this is where Tiffany gets to give you a present!”
I gave Perkette my undivided attention. “I deserve a present, especially as you made me leave my precious puppies and kitten upstairs rather than being part of the wedding party.”
In reality, we’d left them upstairs in the care of an angel, as the sheer number of people present would scare them.
While Blizzard handled crowds well, the husky puppy became excessively energetic, and while Avalanche was remarkably chill for an ocelot, they’d be happier playing with their toys in our suite.
Sunny had been invited, as she had more than a touch of the divine influencing her, but it hadn’t seemed fair to include her but exclude the other two beasts.
I already missed my furry babies.
Perkette giggled, and she spun around, showing off the dress the Devil’s wife had acquired for her.
The woman, a snow leopard shapeshifter of some sort, sat with her husband and seemed like the adult of that relationship.
“You get to have a cup of napalm a week while a unicorn, and once a month, you get an entire bucket for your enjoyment. I have the documentation for it. We put it together earlier today with some help from the Devil, his wife, and his brothers.”
I freed myself from Quinn’s grip and doubled back to the front row, and as the Devil and his brothers were all conveniently located together, I flung myself at the quartet and indulged in a group hug.
The Devil’s wife dodged my affection, although she caught my veil before it could be ripped off my head or otherwise cause me trouble. Behind me, my husband laughed.
“You fucking assholes are the best!”
Quinn’s angelic grandfather chuckled. “While I am most pleased to take some of the credit, my brother is the one who has done the research. He will also, with some help from your father, teach you how to better control your shapeshifting abilities. Your little ones need exposure to all of your magic, so outside of a ban from alcohol and too much sugar, you will find the next few months of your life disturbingly enjoyable when your offspring are not doing their best to kick you in the ribs. Cindercorns have an easier time with pregnancy than human women.”
Uh oh. I saved myself from exposing the surprise by not looking at Perkette, who would be dealing with quadruplets after having been barren her entire life. “You’re about to tell me I’m not human, aren’t you?”
“You are sufficiently human for your new job’s needs,” the archangel assured me.
I grabbed Sariel’s hand, kissed the back of, and repeated the process with the other archangels before planting a kiss on the Devil’s cheek. The Devil’s wife laughed and warded me off before shooing me away. I bounced back to my husband. “I get napalm, Quinn!”
He caught me in a hug and kissed my forehead. “Heaven forbid you are forced to suffer without any napalm. There’s going to be a catch. There’s always a catch when it comes to you and your favorite fiery treat. You should find out what the catch is now to limit your disappointment later.”
As Perkette would do something like dangle a treat in front of me and then make me pay for it in some horrendous fashion, I asked, “What’s the catch?”
“You have to exercise,” the mad scientist replied. “You’ll probably survive, and the exercise will be good for the babies.”
I would remember that when she was waddling around, thanks to her four incoming children. “I’ll try to limit my whining somewhat. That is a catch I can live with.”
Perkette feigned fainting against Janet, and she flung her hand against her forehead. “It’s a miracle. Your napalm supply will be rationed, however. There will be no unapproved napalm benders.”
Heaving a sigh, my husband turned me around, planted his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me down the aisle in the direction of the steakhouse deeper within the canal’s shopping district. “And I would prefer if there are no approved napalm benders.”
I couldn’t blame my husband for his opinion.
Bad things tended to happen when the CDC authorized me to use napalm, and it usually involved mass destruction and a requirement for construction crews to remove the rubble once I finished.
Add in how I tended to scare a few years off my husband’s life, and it amazed me anyone let me near napalm at all.
And the hangovers. I could live without the napalm bender hangovers.
“That doesn’t mean there might not be an approved one.
Come on, Quinn. We’re the best at playing with fire. ”
“I’m sorry, Bailey, but you’re still outclassed by phoenixes,” my husband said.
“Just because phoenixes can fly doesn’t mean they’re better than cindercorns. We have hooves, we breathe fire, meat is delicious, and so is napalm.”
Laughing, he shook his head and continued to push me along.
“It is my solemn duty as your husband to feed you as much steak as you can stomach. If we stand here chatting, the hungry horde of police officers might toss us in the canal for delaying their dinner. It’s bad enough more cops than I anticipated showed up, so we’ve taken over every damned restaurant in the hotel, and I think we took over some of the restaurants across the street, too.
Including a buffet. The only good news is we’re not paying for it, although there’s a battle royale going on over who will foot the bill in progress.
I want nothing to do with that battle, by the way. ”
“My father?” I guessed, as I couldn’t imagine Ra liking to lose to anybody.