5. You’re stuck with me, so you better like me.
FIVE
You’re stuck with me, so you better like me.
When honest with myself, I had severe workaholic tendencies, something Quinn first attempted to resolve through the strategic placement of presents on my lap. When I worked around the box, he stole my new laptop, closed the lid, and hid it among the gifts.
I gaped at him. “But I was working on that.”
“You were. Now you are unwrapping presents and spending at least an hour doing something not related to identifying the key states probably somehow associated with the rabies outbreak. Once you have opened some gifts, I’m throwing you on the bed and having my way with you.
Should you have energy afterwards, we will resume working.
I need to digest what I’ve learned, and I’ve discovered you’re rather beautiful when intently working.
As I’m just a man, I have reached my threshold of patience.
Now, open your gifts.” To establish dominance and make it clear I would be doing what he wanted, he piled more presents on my lap.
“I will bury you in presents if you don’t start unwrapping some of these. ”
“That’s quite the threat. Open presents or be buried in them.” I peeked over the pile, wondering just how we’d gotten so many gifts. “Why are there so many presents, Quinn? I don’t get this.”
“People like you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “People like me? Like who? I mean, Perkette. She counts. Perky likes me, I guess. You’re stuck with me, so you better like me.”
“I love you, which is far more than merely liking.”
“I love you, too, but this is an excessive number of presents! Nobody likes me this much.”
“Tiffany is responsible for at least six of the gifts. I put one of hers on your lap already. Arthur got us a present each, as he was concerned you might rupture something in your head if you got more than that from them.”
“In addition to the like ten other gifts they got us on Christmas morning. I’m glad I had done my shopping early, and I owe your relatives for fetching the presents.
I didn’t even offend either one of them, but I’m concerned over how much Perkette liked the miniature flasks.
They were a prank. I think she now wants to do miniature experiments.
We still need to get stuff for the kids. ”
“Bailey, I bought them almost an entire bookstore each when I found out they like to read. Apparently, Beauty wants to cook, so we’re going to have to potentially remodel our kitchen—or make sure our new house has a good kitchen.
You’ve been showering them with affection, candy, and giving their snakes treats whenever I take my eyes off you.
They’re not suffering from a lack of gifts.
And anyway, my grandfather took care of the toy shopping, as he’s better at picking age-appropriate toys for gorgons, although ours are ahead of the curve in some ways. ”
“But they need the basics. They need a bedroom, and they need clothes, and they need bookcases, and they need toys.”
“It’ll be fine. They’re going to share a room until they’re in their teens anyway.
Sylvester will be wired to protect his sister until his sister picks her new hive.
If we try to separate them, he won’t be able to sleep and will suffer from anxiety.
I invaded my sisters until I was a teen because of those base instincts.
Let’s just say my sisters were grateful when I moved out. ”
“Are they aware you’re a gorgon-incubus doohickey?”
“Yes and no.”
“They’ve never seen you? As a gorgon-incubus doohickey?”
“They think I’m a shapeshifter who can become a gorgon, and as I did not want to be sacrificed to my sister’s gaggle of friends, my parents opted against telling them about the active incubus portion of my heritage.
They know I have the genes just like they do, but I’m careful.
What they don’t know about they can’t talk about. ”
“And you didn’t want anyone knowing you’re a gorgon-incubus doohickey.”
“That cat is out of the bag now, though. All the cops know, so it’s a matter of time I’ll be fully exposed.”
“You can expose yourself to me whenever you want.”
My husband chuckled. “I’m still amazed you were able to keep your hands off me for so long.”
“It was horrible. I hated when you came to my work, but damn did I love watching you go. And then you went off with Mary on the worst shift of my entire career as a barista. Also the last day of my career as a barista. I don’t miss that job, but damn it, I want to know why nobody showed up for work. ”
“I know. After the divorce, I kept getting some seriously mixed signals from you. I thought I was going mad. I’d go to your work, you’d play me cold, and when I’d leave, you’d go hot and…” Laughing, he shook his head. “You’re something else.”
“Hot and lusty and pissed off because I was hot and lusty and you hated me.”
“Yes, I hated you. Utterly hated you,” he replied in his most sarcastic tone.
“Do you know why Mary didn’t return to work? It’s been driving me crazy.”
“You didn’t ask her?”
“I haven’t spoken to her since I wrote a bitchy note I was quitting, and then I got bombed with gorgon dust, then you happened. I need to get another little yellow dress.”
I’d let him decide for himself what I meant by my statement.
“That dress won’t last ten minutes,” he warned.
The first little yellow dress hadn’t lasted much longer once the incubus part of his heritage had come out to play, although I hadn’t known then he was more than just a human with a high magic rating.
“I know. That’s the best part.” I laughed and rubbed my hands, eyeballing the presents on my lap.
I picked up what could only be a lingerie box and tore into the paper.
Chucking the lid onto Quinn’s lap, I plucked off the tissue to reveal a lacy bra and panty set.
“Oh, look. Someone likes you, Sam.” I seized the bra and held it up, marveling how little there was of it. “Someone likes you a lot.”
“I obviously need to send that person a thank you card.”
I tossed the lingerie at him and checked the box, uncovering a card. I opened it to discover a gift certificate to an adult store. “Apparently, I’m being sent to a store for naughty things for our enjoyment. Do you think you can handle such an adventure, Mr. Samuel Quinn?”
“That box must be Tiffany’s doing, as she definitely knows your sizes, and she’d find the idea of either one of us trying to go into an adult store to be the best entertainment money can buy.
As a matter of fact, I can handle such an adventure.
I’m not supposed to use real handcuffs on my wife, although I tend to ignore that rule at my leisure. ”
Whee. “It’s a date.” I placed the gift card onto the coffee table and tore into the rest of the presents, and it didn’t take me long to determine someone had blabbed to the world what my sizes were, as I wouldn’t need to buy any lingerie for at least a year, even if my gorgon-incubus doohickey destroyed a piece every day. “Is this normal?”
“When I married Audrey, we got four toasters, three waffle makers, more pots and pans than any couple needs in their life, and a lot of towels and sheets. Do they like you or me?” Quinn picked up a particularly skimpy set in red and held it up.
“Are they trying to tell us we need to relax? This is going to be a challenge. Knowing how much this stuff costs, I’m going to have to be careful.
How are you supposed to wiggle into this without damaging it? ”
“I have no idea. Maybe you’re supposed to help me into it before helping me out of it?”
My husband narrowed his eyes. “We’re going to need a babysitter that night.”
I ran out of gifts and went to work flattening all the boxes to make more space.
Frowning, I considered the issue of Mary and none of my co-workers showing up the day Audrey’s brother had brought me a bomb loaded with gorgon dust. “I wonder if that might be a good place to start with this investigation. Is it possible Audrey and her brother worked together to make sure I was on shift that day to give me that cell phone? I mean, I’m convinced she wanted to test my immunities, and that grade of gorgon dust was perfect for her needs.
So that makes sense to me. But how did they get to my co-workers?
Why did they all abandon their shifts? Was that ever investigated? ”
My husband frowned, directed his attention to my work laptop, and tapped at the keys.
“That’s a good question. I don’t remember offhand if we investigated your co-workers extensively.
We usually don’t question people who aren’t on a shift during a crime unless we have reason to believe they’re somehow involved.
I do remember looking into McGee’s financials and not finding any ties to your workplace.
That was one of the first things we looked into.
For all credit cards and bank accounts we accessed, there was no record of him having been there prior. He disliked using cash for much.”
“He used cash to buy his coffee. It was a twenty, and he didn’t want any dust, so I had to break a big bill for a small order, and that sort of thing is fucking annoying. He tipped more than he paid for the coffee, too.”
“How much? Do you remember?”
“He put a five dollar bill in the tip jar.”