7. Does that really say cindercorn under species? #2
“This one he’ll be spectacular in, especially if he’s displaying his wings for you.”
My eyes widened at the thought of my husband wearing a suit while in his gorgon-incubus doohickey form. “Oh. Oh, my. Please?”
“Invite my wife over for some of your coffee. Coffee is life for her, and she likes it iced with cream and sugar.”
“I make a mean iced coffee.”
“That was a factor in establishing this bargain with you.”
Oh, well. I’d just cope with the scolding when Quinn found out I was making deals with the Devil to get him in a wickedly sexy suit. “I hope she likes kids, because we’ll be outnumbered and surrounded.”
“She loves children.”
Well, then. “Deal. Bargain struck!” I held out my hand to seal the deal. “I’ll even give her back sometimes, although with the number of kids we have around, you may have to bargain with me to get her back.”
The Devil frowned.
“You lost that one, my dear brother. Now, for the matter of the roses.” Sariel pointed at the one with the best blossoms, big, red, and delicious.
“This one is her favorite, and it is the first she sampled when she came home to my little grandson for the first time, so it is quite special for them both.”
The Devil crouched beside the roses and touched the charred branch. “Did you see?”
“I did. She heard the description already.”
“It’s totally something my asshole father would do, and he’s not smart enough to do the job right. I mean, the house is made of brick.”
“And has been fireproofed to my little grandson’s standards,” Sariel added.
I wrinkled my nose. “Yeah, that didn’t help matters for that asshole at all. Now I’m wondering if we can fireproof our poor roses.”
Valorie emerged from her house, and it amused me how the cops scrambled to make sure the older woman didn’t fall making the hike over.
“I love that old woman,” I confessed.
The Devil chuckled. “She loves you as though you were hers. She is a sweet woman who has no place in one of my hells, although don’t tempt me into bringing over one of my devils. He might be able to keep up with her.”
Sariel smacked the Devil with his wing. “Do not play matchmaker right this moment. She is slated for elsewhere.”
“But she’d make such a fine little demoness,” the Devil complained. “Don’t ruin my fun.”
“If you hurt my roses even more than they’re already hurt, I will teach you both the true meaning of pain and fear,” I warned.
To my amusement, the archangel and his brother turned their attention to the poor plants. Aware I might eat snow or bruise my ass again, I slid along the sidewalk.
Chief Barfield intercepted me at the end and kept me on my feet. “Your husband would kill me if I let you fall. Stay in the snow and off the ice, you.”
“Valorie!” I waved at the old woman, eyeballing how to reach her. I opted to take the long way around, crunching through the snow until I reached the street, which had been questionably salted.
“Welcome home. How did you enjoy your trip?” she asked, coming towards me. I met her at the halfway point, and accepted a hug from her, as she’d trained me well. “Your poor roses.”
“They better be fine,” I hollered at the archangel and the Devil.
Valorie held up my phone. “This looks a lot like him, yes. Who is he?”
“The shitty father. It turns out I have more parents than normal, and the Gardeners are the shit ones. The other pair is far cooler. I’ll bring them over so you can meet them. Was there a woman with him?”
“Yes. She was driving the car.”
I took my phone and pulled up a picture of my mother. “Her?”
Valorie huffed. “Looks like her to me.”
I stomped through the snow to Chief Barfield.
“It’s a case of the asshole parents trying to make my life miserable yet again.
My mother was driving the car while he was trying to torch the house.
And since they’ll lie their asses off, I’ll just request an angel now to verify their guilt, just in case there was some practitioner up to some pretty bad tricks.
I can email you information on them, once my roses are taken care of. ”
The chief chuckled. “I can tell where your priorities are. Still, until we bring them in, it’s not going to be safe here.”
“We were just swinging by for some things before resuming our vacation,” I admitted.
“That will work nicely. Check in with us daily. Normally, I wouldn’t ask such a thing for a pair on vacation, but Dowry is concerned for your safety.”
Wrinkling my nose at the added complexity, I thought about it for a few moments before nodding. “Sure. We can do that. Just let you know if there’s anything weird and call if we find anything amiss?”
“Exactly so. Dowry will want you to check in with him, too, but since you live in my jurisdiction, I’d like you to keep in touch with me, too.”
“Sure, I can text you both or call as needed.” My husband came out of the house, and I spotted several large ceramic pots in the entry. “He’s being excessive again.”
“He is so good at being excessive,” Valorie commented. “When it comes to you, he takes the little things to extremes.”
“He really does. He looks really good in that jacket.”
“And that’s my cue to go warm up in my house while you admire your scenery. Send over some hot cops to question me,” she ordered before heading home.
I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh until she disappeared into her house. “Did you hear that, Chief Barfield? Send over some hot cops to question her.”
“I’m not sure I have any sufficiently hot older cops capable of withstanding her wily ways.”
“Sacrifice one that deserves a good woman before the Devil starts sending his minions over to seduce her. He really will, too.”
“I might have an older gentleman who has been a widower for a while, and I’ll send some of the young, fit men to learn how to question a friendly old woman.” The chief snickered. “You’re going to turn Manhattan upside down.”
“I really will.” Aware I would fall on my ass again if I got anywhere near the icy sidewalk, I trudged through the snow and observed my husband, his uncle, and his grandfather conferring over the roses.
To my shock, Sariel manifested a shining sword out of the air and eyed the ground.
“Don’t kill my roses! Swords are for stabbing.
Don’t stab them, they’re already having a bad day. ”
All three shot glares at me, and I stomped my foot. “No traumatizing my roses.”
The archangel sighed, flicked his wrist, and turned his glowing sword into a shovel. “I’m not going to stab them, my little granddaughter.”
“That poor sword is going to file for its retirement or put in a request for a new owner.”
“It’s a sword, not a living thing,” Sariel stated before going to work digging up the abused rose plant. Once freed from the ground, he handed it over to the Devil. “He will whine sufficiently less should you be the one abusing your holy fire.”
More fire? I crossed my arms over my chest and kept a close eye on my uncle.
“Your cindercorn is positively cranky this morning,” the Devil said, taking the rose bush and walking to the house, completely ignoring the ice. The ground steamed in his wake, and I realized he cheated, melting it so he wouldn’t slip and slide.
“What did Chief Barfield have to say?” Quinn asked, examining the gaping hole where the rose bush had been. “Can I hire you to be my gardener, Grandfather? That would have taken me an hour to dig out.”
“No. I’m only doing this because my little granddaughter would cry if her roses couldn’t be saved.”
“Her roses?”
“She loves them more than you do, so they are hers, and you just get to enjoy them, too.”
Hah. I slated that as my victory, and I pointed at the Devil, who worked at putting my poor plant in one of the pots. “And that one is my favorite.”
“The roses will be fine, Bailey.”
“I showed pictures to Valorie. Of my asshole parents. She thinks it was them. I already told Chief Barfield to request an angel for verification when they’re brought in for questioning.
Practitioners could trick people with their likeness, and I’d rather have the truth than jump to conclusions.
But, let’s face it. My asshole parents would do just that.
Maybe we should ask the uncle over there about adding some extras to their future accommodations. ”
“I could work something in with roses,” the Devil replied, coming out of the house and brushing his hands together. “I’ll take the roses home with me while you’re vacationing and care for them until your return. That will prevent any future trouble, and my wife enjoys caring for the underdog.”
“I’ll call her over for coffee when we’re back, and I might even give her back,” I replied.
“You’re evil,” the Devil informed me.
I giggled.
My husband regarded me with narrow eyes. “What have you done, you sneaky woman?”
As I looked forward to whatever punishment my husband would concoct, I announced, “I cut a good deal with the Devil, so I get to invite his wife over whenever I want, and I might even give her back.”
“And you yell at me about bargaining?”
“But she likes coffee, and I make the best coffee. And she likes kids.”
“She wants you to have another one of my suits, and I may have told her this specific suit works very well with wings.”
It didn’t take my husband long to figure out what I had in mind. “I’m going to let this slide once, Bailey.”
Victory was mine. “Okay. What do you want to do about my asshole parents?”
“I’ll let Barfield deal with that problem. Once we get the roses moved inside, we’ll gather what we need for our trip and resume our vacation.”
“I can go start the packing while you manly men—and angel—handle taking care of my roses,” I offered.
“I’m going to need your coffee for this,” Quinn announced without any shame. “I have gone weeks without your coffee, and I will surely perish if I do not get any.”
I loved him so much it hurt. “I’ll make extra coffee just for you.” As I’d get scolded if I fell again, I waddled to the door, gave my favorite rose’s new pot a fond pat, and began preparing for our adventure to Vermont.