14. You want to eat sea bugs? #3
I giggled. “Sea bugs are delicious. Okay. Let’s find you something you’ll like.
” After a moment of looking at the salad section, I found one that would be close to his comfort zone.
I took hold of his menu, tilted it so I could look over it, and pointed at the seared tuna salad.
“This will be a good starter for you. Salad, a kind you like, and you’ll have some fish to start with.
It’s seared, so it looked at some heat, and you can get a feel for if you’ll like sushi or not. ”
“I’m man enough to admit I’m scared.”
My phone buzzed on the table, and according to the screen, my mother had remembered to call me back. I snatched the device, and aware I was in a restaurant and couldn’t be rude to the other guests, I answered, “Did the taming of the hungry beasts go well?”
“Everybody has been fed, watered, and cuddled,” my mother reported. “Is everything okay?”
“It seems my husband’s upbringing had a dire lack of seafood in it, so I’m rectifying the situation through making him try various sea bugs.
I’m starting him on training wheels with some tuna on a salad, and he will enjoy some proper clam chowder with me.
After the clam chowder, I think I’m going to get this big platter for two, so he has the most choice of sea bugs to try.
He claims he’s man enough to admit the strange new food scares him. ”
“Ah, yes. Don’t blame him much. Gorgons are particular with their diets, and one of the brides in his family line was likely allergic to seafood once upon a time, and the entire hive will avoid the food the brides are allergic to.
You don’t have to worry about allergies with him, so feed him whatever you’d like.
Your father and I have been learning things like that so we know what’s safe to feed you both. ”
I had a mother who cared what I could eat, and I had a mother who wanted to burn my house down along with my poor rose bushes.
It would take a long time to come to terms with the vast differences between my mothers—and my fathers were in two entirely different universes.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to talk to you before. ”
“You were asleep, and I do quite enjoy talking to your Sam. He’s quite the gentleman.”
“He really is. His expression is really cute. The menu is baffling him.”
“There’s really no steak anywhere on this menu,” he whined.
“The lack of steak is disturbing to him.”
My mother laughed. “I bet it is. I spoke to your father this morning, and as he was aware you would be busy with important matters this morning, he suggests you should look into that woman’s activities in Maine before you head to Long Lake.
That will be an efficient way of handling the matter.
He would prefer to just smite all that might be a threat to you, but that is not allowed.
He is also working on a present for you, one he thinks you will enjoy. ”
“A present? What sort of present?”
“The kind where he meddles more than he should and decides to interfere when he shouldn’t.
I tried to talk sense into him, but he claims if all it takes is some random human telling an idiot you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time to put an end to this mess, he sees no reason why not to pay some random human to talk to the idiot and make those arrangements.
By the way, do make sure you’re in Long Lake by noon the day after tomorrow.
That would fall nicely into your father’s manipulations. ”
“There are so many idiots, Mother. Which idiot are we discussing?”
My mother was quiet for a long moment. “That is going to take some getting used to.”
Oh. Right. I had a mother I actually wanted to call my mother, and I’d just gone and addressed her as such without thinking about it. Oops. “To being called Mother?”
“Yes. Now I understand why your father was strutting around. I mean, he usually struts around, as he is very much like a peacock. I really do like birds, which is part of your father’s charms. He’s like a very warm peacock who enjoys showing off.
But you must have called him your father. Now I understand his peacock ways.”
“You like animals to a compulsive degree.”
“That did not take you long to figure out.”
“Sam is convinced I get my dumpster diving habits from you.”
“I have been told I am not allowed to retrieve any animals from any dumpster. As a result, I spent all of last night checking dumpsters for abandoned animals. As soon as the moon rose, I resumed my search. I found a nest of raccoons, but I left those alone. They didn’t need to be rescued.
Your father should have learned by now telling me I can’t do something is a damned good way of convincing me to do it.
I’m going to find new dumpsters to explore tonight on my quest to find some pets to rescue. ”
Yep, she was definitely my mother. “I think Sam is resigned to how I will insist on rescuing animals from dumpsters, but he has told me I can’t adopt all of the animals I rescue.”
“That is a smart approach. For some reason, your father thinks I’ll actually heed his various little warnings when it comes to rescuing strange animals from dumpsters.
My first step is to find an appropriate animal to adopt out of a dumpster.
Alas, I lack your ability to find your way with ease.
That is a gift from your father, although I temper your abilities somewhat. ”
I pondered that. “He’s the reason I can find my way, but you’re the reason I can find my way efficiently?”
“That’s right. Do you have any recommendations on how I might find the dumpsters with animals in them?”
“May my father forgive me, but go to Manhattan. There are many dumpsters. If you can’t find an animal in a dumpster, you’ll find plenty of them on the street.
Just be careful. The rabies outbreak there is serious.
My father probably snooped into how often I’ve contracted rabies from rescuing animals, so he is concerned we’ll both become rabid on him.
At the same time. That’s a lot for someone to handle. ”
My mother laughed. “Yes, that is a concern for him. He’s trying to figure out how to rid the Earth of rabies in an allowed fashion so you will be safe while rescuing pets from dumpsters.
It will keep him amused for a while. Tomorrow night, I will be working on a project somewhere remote, so don’t fret if you can’t get a hold of me.
Your father has protective tendencies, and he is not quite ready to handle all of the women in his life creating trouble at one time.
We must ease him into us causing trouble together, all right? ”
“I am game for causing trouble. I’m very good at causing trouble. It’s one of my best skills.”
Quinn heaved a sigh and bowed his head. “It really is.”
“Since you missed that, my husband is coming to terms with just how honest I was by making that statement. But he acknowledged I am skilled in causing trouble.”
“Poor Samuel.” My mother laughed. “Please don’t worry if you can’t get a hold of me or your father.
Your father is fretting, and when he frets, he spends every one of his moments where his light shines on you trying to mitigate the fates he dislikes.
I told him you are his daughter, and it would take a lot more than some stupid human to do anything truly harmful to you.
Just be a good girl and go to that place in Maine tomorrow and then go to Long Lake the day after, and plan to reach Long Lake in the morning hours.
That should work best for what your father is trying to arrange. ”
“Okay. We can do that.”
“Bring your darling pets with you, but leave the kitten in the SUV. Your puppies will be most important.”
“And you say my father tries to meddle,” I teased.
“I am so much better at protecting things than he is. It is my purpose. I’m merely doing exactly what I should. Oh. That reminds me. Your father is quite upset over those mortals.”
I sighed. “Remind my father that my husband’s uncle has been making preparations for them, and if he wants to be involved, that’s a good way to go about it. They’re digging their own graves, so it’s all right to just leave them be. I can handle those idiots myself.”
“Yes, you can. Good girl. In case your father doesn’t remember to call you tomorrow because of his scheming ways, we both love you.
Now, I have more dumpsters to explore, for surely there are more animals out this time of night.
And I might even adopt one just to drive your father a little closer to the edge of his sanity. ”
My mother hung up, and I giggled. “She’s seeking out dumpsters so she can rescue animals, Sam.”
“Yes, she was trying to do that yesterday, too. I’m surprised you dove right in on calling her your mother.”
“She’s nice. It was easier than I thought. Because she’s nice. I figured I’d dive right into the awkward first daughter-mother conversation, but it wasn’t awkward at all.”
The waiter came, and my husband sighed, gave me his menu, and told me to pick for him, else we’d never eat dinner.
Giggling, I went with my first plan, ordering him the kind of salad he enjoyed with seared tuna while I had a shameful number of tiger shrimp, one of which I’d save for him.
I ordered us a cup of lobster bisque and a bowl of clam chowder each before ordering their most elaborate seafood feast for two.
I ordered a pot of tea for myself so I’d feel fancy, and with a chuckle, my husband requested the same.
Once the waiter left, I raised a brow at him. “Tea?”
“I should ask the same, Bailey. You asked for tea, and you asked for it in such a way to lead me to believe you are excited to be receiving minty grass. Should I be concerned?”