Epilogue It was the little things in life.
Easter Morning.
I recruited the Devil to help me with my dirty work, tricked my mother-in-law into recruiting Sam to help with everything, gave the kids to The Grandfather Quinns, all bazillion of them spread over a ridiculous number of generations, and took Sunny, Rabies the Wonder Wolf, Blizzard, and Avalanche to retrieve Jeffrey Dowry so he could be reunited with his family.
Rabies the Wonder Wolf, cured of the disease that had almost killed him, suffered from severe separation anxiety and couldn’t handle life without Sam or I nearby. One day, he might adapt better, but of all the problems we could have with our latest rescue, we could handle separation anxiety.
Until then, we accommodated him, although I wouldn’t mind when he learned he could wait outside of the bathroom rather than on my feet.
Nothing made going to the bathroom more interesting or complicated than dealing with a ninety-five pound wolf firmly pressed to my legs the entire damned time. As far as I could tell, he feared the toilet might rise up and get me if he didn’t keep a close and careful eye on me.
In good news for my sanity, Rabies the Wonder Wolf loved car rides.
It was the little things in life.
The Devil heaved a sigh. “I can’t believe you’re making me do good deeds on Easter. I’m going to catch some disease if I do this. Face eternal shame. I might die.”
“Look, I can’t drive two vehicles at the same time, Lucy. You need to drive this so I can drive my present for Sam. You know, the one you helped me acquire?”
“Yes, I seem to recall striking a bargain with a naughty cindercorn so my wife wouldn’t be stolen from me, potentially permanently, as the caretaker of your gorgons, your gorgon-mice-rat doohickeys, and the rest of your menagerie.
It’s bad enough you’ve recruited me to make sure your various doohickeys have the perfect Easter.
I had to recruit the fucking assholes to make rodent-sized dishes, furniture, and everything they might need to be happy in their basement mansion.
At least you were willing to accept quails as replacements for miniature turkeys. ”
“Okay, I can accept I may have gotten slightly overenthusiastic over my varied Easter preparations.”
“We’re going to end up triggering an apocalypse in the Plaza, and you invited every single member of your family to help end the world.”
“Lucy, it’s dinner. You won’t die. Or face eternal shame. Your father might want a hug, but I’m not responsible for that. Just hug him and act happy.”
“Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“Yes. Uncle Lucy, who likes unicorns. Not just unicorns, cindercorns. And as you like cindercorns, and I’m precisely a hundred percent of the current breeding population of the entire species, you love me.
” As I was driving, I couldn’t point at my stomach, which was already beginning to show evidence of the tiny terrors occupying my insides.
“You particularly love the tiny terrors on the way. And naughty uncles don’t get invited to hold the babies right away, where nice uncles who dance to my tune get invited to the delivery and get to hold the babies. ”
“You win.”
“I had this figured out, but thank you for reaffirming that.”
The Devil laughed, and we spent the rest of the drive to the hospital talking about how best to integrate Jeffrey with his family.
We both needed some serious tutoring on how to handle important and serious things with grace, as neither one of us came up with any good ideas on how to make sure things worked out as we wanted.
My husband’s new SUV, which the Devil’s wife had brought to the hospital, waited in the secure lot, and I loaded the pets into it after making sure everything was in good order.
I giggled at the flame-orange bow in the back.
Leaving the animals in the Devil’s care, I went inside to discover Jeffrey waited in the entry fiddling with his tie and fidgeting.
“Ready?” I asked, painfully aware he had nothing to take home with him.
“As ready as I can be. Dr. Rassen says it’ll be difficult to adjust, especially since I keep remembering things. But I remember my sister and brother. And their children.”
“If you’re not ready, we can always reschedule.
They just think we invited them to dinner because I’m a new chief, and apparently, family dinners with the commissioner and his family is a thing the new chiefs do at least once.
And since my family is as ridiculous as my husband’s family, we had to take over an entire damned hotel to fit everybody.
I brought my uncle with me, so you get a choice of vehicles.
You can go on a ride with the Devil, or you can join me with two wolves, a husky, and an ocelot. ”
“Did you just say I could go on a ride with the Devil? Is he your uncle?”
“Yes, and yes.”
Jeffrey blinked. “But how?”
As he handled the news my uncle was the Devil, I figured he might be able to handle the insanity waiting for us at the hotel.
“I married the Devil’s nephew. Well, great nephew.
It’s complicated. He’s a pretty nice guy, he just likes to pretend he’s all evil.
Really, he’s not all that good at being evil.
Just pretend you’re awed. His native language is sarcasm. ”
“Are you going to be offended if I go with the Devil?”
“Absolutely not, especially since the Devil is probably trying to convince Rabies the Wonder Wolf the world is not ending. I dared to leave him in the SUV.”
“You have a wolf you named Rabies?”
“Well, he was rabid when we found him, and it’s a miracle he’s recovered so well, so he’s Rabies the Wonder Wolf. That plus he immediately developed separation anxiety, so we have to take him everywhere until we can convince him he won’t be abandoned.”
“You have a wolf.”
“Technically, we have three wolves, but Belinda is more standoffish, and she doesn’t like to leave home.
She loves people, but car rides scare her, and she’s not good about going new places.
We’re working on that, but it’ll take time.
She just likes people too much to be released into the wild.
Belinda is a very good wolf! We have a big enclosure for our pack, although Rabies the Wonder Wolf and Sunny sleep in our room.
Belinda has herself a cozy den in her enclosure, so she’s happy.
Apparently, Belinda needs a friend that’s not Rabies the Wonder Wolf or Sunny, so we’re waiting for a rescue so she can have a proper pack.
That will be fun. By fun, I mean, we don’t need more wolves, but we’re going to end up with more wolves.
We’re going to need a bigger house. Again. ”
Jeffrey stared at me. “Are you nervous?”
Damn. Jeffrey had learned my ways. “Maybe.”
“I can tell. You’re positively babbling.”
“I just want everything to be perfect today, and I neglected to tell my husband I was bringing you to dinner. In fact, my husband still thinks we’re three weeks out from the reunion.”
“I see. You are being sneaky, and you are afraid he will disapprove.”
“Maybe you should become a therapist, because that is something my therapist would say.”
“Why do you have a therapist?”
I laughed. “Well, apparently, all police chiefs get therapists, because we have a tough job. I had no idea Sam was seeing one, but he only gets a session once a month. I get a session once a week. Apparently, I really do have more self-esteem issues than an entire ward can readily handle, so my therapist is trying to undo the harm from my idiot parents. Rabies the Wonder Wolf comes to my sessions, and he’s basically a police wolf in training and a therapy animal.
Sunny is also a police wolf in training, but she’s learning how to be a bomb wolf among other things, so she’s learning different skills.
My husband will mostly handle Sunny while I get Rabies the Wonder Wolf. ”
“I’m amazed you have time to deal with someone like me.”
“Someone like you? Please. Your nephew is my boss, and nothing is more annoying that watching my damned boss get mopey because of a cold case he can’t pester us about no matter how badly he wants to come into my office daily and ask me to use the damned magic I already used to close that damned case.
I have plenty of time to ‘deal with you’ because you’re nice, you deserve to have your life back, and you have a family who loves you.
And for once in my life, I get to say helping people like you is my job, and I really like that.
” I dragged Jeffrey to the damned rental SUV we kept around because the convertible couldn’t fit everybody, I didn’t want to keep two cop cars in our driveway, and we needed to be able to cart our entire menagerie around. “Hey, Lucy. This is Jeffrey.”
The Devil played nice, smiled, and shook hands with the commissioner’s uncle. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please forgive my niece. Pregnancy plus nerves means her mouth surely runneth over.”
“She’s been wonderful.”
“Well, that’s her default. She’s just really weird about it.
Get on in, and I’ll fill you in on everything you need to know to get through today without taking one of those anxiety pills you have in your pocket.
Bailey, I’ll make sure he has a good time, so try not to worry.
If there are any problems, it’s not as if you don’t have an entire hotel full of those who can fix it if you ask.
And unfortunately for all of us, we have learned you are not afraid to ask. ”
I laughed at that. “Blame Sam. It’s his fault. He taught me nobody is going to hate me if I can’t do everything myself. It turns out life’s a lot better when you aren’t constantly sabotaging yourself.”
“That it is,” the Devil agreed.
I considered hiding in the lobby, but after I gathered the flock of pets and my purse, the valet made off with my keys to park my husband’s new baby in the safety of the parking garage. I heaved a sigh, went inside, and waited for the Devil to escort Jeffrey inside.