Chapter 56
NOVA
Wes and I stepped into Third House, and the entire coffee shop burst into cheers.
My cheeks reddened as I scanned the crowd. Hudson, Delilah, and my other friends stood next to Ruby and the baristas. Wes’s sponsor, Will, smiled at us, lifting his sparkling drink as he stood with a couple of Wes’s other AA friends. We were in a room of people who loved us, who loved me.
“Congratulations!” Ruby said, coming to give Wes and me hugs.
The space was warm and dimly lit, everyone gathered to celebrate my book release. It went live three days ago.
We had all chipped in to slowly rebuild all that Roman had destroyed in Ruby’s shop. The original art and ceramics couldn’t be replaced, but new art was created by several people in the community to fill in the gaps.
I hated that so many people had been caught in the crossfire of Roman’s one-sided feud. I knew Wes still struggled with his own guilt about that. I gave his hand a squeeze.
“I read the early reviews,” Ruby continued. “They were stellar.”
“Except for one very stupid person who can’t fucking type,” Hudson said, crossing his arms.
I smiled. “Now that my book baby has been released into the world, I have to wash my hands of it. No more obsessive review-scrolling for me.”
Wes kissed the side of my head. “Well, I concur with Hudson. You can’t write a negative review if you can’t even write a sentence.”
“I’ll beat their ass,” Delilah said.
I rolled my eyes. “The more negative reviews, the more people have read my book.”
“That’s a great attitude,” Will said with a wink.
I mean… this was what I told myself every time I accidentally saw someone rip me to shreds online. I wouldn’t say it was foolproof in preventing me from feeling like shit.
Which was why I’d stopped looking.
It had only been three days, and the book was doing well. Not the huge launch of my wildest dreams, but it was a start. After all, I’d had to completely rebuild my brand and develop an entirely new audience. It was going to take a bit longer to gain momentum.
People loved this book. It was only a matter of time before she found her wings.
I smiled, answering questions from the baristas about the spicy content as Will slowly backed away.
“Nova.”
Hudson’s eyes widened. I spun.
Lorelei stood there in a big faux fur coat and red sweater dress. Her figure and the hollows of her cheeks were more filled out since I last saw her. I released a long breath. She looked healthy.
I let go of Wes’s hand to hug her. She still smelled of the same perfume as she’d worn since she was sixteen, filling my body with bittersweet familiarity.
“You look radiant,” I said.
“I was going to say the same about you.”
When I pulled back, Lorelei’s lip trembled. “I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to read it.” She paused, her next words softer. “I’m glad I could be here for this. Thank you again, Nova.”
I nodded, offering a small smile.
It was the end of February. Lorelei had moved to outpatient treatment and meetings two weeks ago. By all accounts, she was sober and doing much better, and it was part of my healing to step back and let go without questioning or monitoring her.
This was Lorelei’s path to walk, not mine.
And I would be there for her as a friend so long as that relationship didn’t hurt me.
Hudson had decided to keep his distance, which I understood, but I chose to believe in Lorelei. That was just who I was, and I loved that about myself.
Lorelei gave Wes an awkward wave. She was usually so confident and self-assured.
I was used to her taking up as much space as she possibly could in any room she entered.
This Lorelei was different. Wes told me she was starting from scratch, likely still figuring out the woman she truly was underneath all her pain.
She’d never been given a chance to discover herself, to decide the kind of person she actually wanted to be.
Not to mention, Roman’s gaslighting and psychospiritual abuse had warped her sense of self and reality.
Lorelei glanced at Delilah from across the room, and I rocked on my feet nervously. I hadn’t realized until this moment that we had replaced Lorelei with another tall blonde with blue eyes. Which was purely coincidental, but still…
“I’m going to grab a diet coke,” Lorelei said, chewing on her bottom lip before retreating.
I returned to Wes, where the huddle of women and Hudson currently argued about the particular physics of why choose sex positions when there were three or more men and one woman.
Hudson cleared his throat. “No, no, no. Picture this: one man is laying down, inside her pussy hole. The other man is…”
I listened to Hudson explain the physics of various multi-penetration possibilities with a grin.
When I caught a glimpse of Lorelei a few minutes later, she was laughing with a woman from AA in a quieter alcove, her face more relaxed than it had been before.
Hudson lightly bumped my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Mmhmm.” I lowered my voice. “Is the cutie you’ve been seeing coming tonight?”
“Maybe,” he said with a secretive smile. He looked around the warm, magical space. “I’m excited for you, Nova. I have a feeling we’re going to look back on this launch party one day and see it as the point right before you exploded and your whole life changed.”
Hopefulness bloomed in my chest. I was simultaneously terrified Hudson was wrong and optimistic he was right.
“I know how much you want it,” he continued. “And it’s people like you who get it. I’ve never seen anyone so devoted to their vision of their future. When I tell you to go easy on yourself, I hope you don’t think I want you to shrink your dreams.”
“I don’t,” I said. My lips curved. “Thank you, Hudson. I believe in your future just as strongly, you know.”
He avoidantly shrugged a shoulder and sighed.
“I envy you. I think a part of me got beaten down somewhere along the way—maybe when I saw nepo babies getting handed my dream job in the industry right out of school while I only received rejection after rejection. Worse, I usually received no response at all. Then it’s like, why spend time and energy writing a film no one is going to read?
I have a steady job, which is more than many people.
It’s like if I didn’t make it right out of the gate, I might as well accept where I am. I’m bitter and afraid to reach again.”
I’d never heard Hudson say any of these things out loud before. I’d intuited parts of how he felt, but he always covered it up so well.
“Have you tried The Artist’s Way?”
Hudson glared at me for a moment, and then he grinned. “Fuck off, Nova.”
I smiled. It was a running joke that every New Yorker performatively displayed a copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way on their bookshelf.
Hudson’s shoulders relaxed, and I knew he was grateful I’d broken the tension of his vulnerability with a joke.
“I’ll read it,” I said. “I’ll read anything you write. We’re only twenty-five. In New York years, we’re like, eighteen, remember? We have all the time in the world to change our minds. To hop off the train and get on a new one.”
Hudson nodded, the corners of his lips tipping up. “Thanks, Noves. Joining a kinky cult and then getting shot with a gun has made you wise.”
Overhearing us, Wes threw us a pointed look, his lips tugging down. “Enough with the jokes about my girlfriend getting shot,” he snapped.
Hudson and I exchanged an impish look of solidarity that said we will literally never stop joking about that.
Wes responded by pinning me with a look that said just wait until we get home.
My stomach fluttered, and I returned to his side. He grabbed my face and kissed me, rendering me thoughtless as the girls made aw noises around us.
His lips were at my ear for the briefest moment. “Behave.”
I melted, my entire being shifting in an instant at that single word. The DJ was spinning The Strokes, and Ruby popped another bottle of a non-alcoholic sparkling drink.
The room became more crowded as more of my or Wes’s friends stumbled in or poured out into the street.
When my friend from the comedy scene, Ella, found me, her eyes were wide with excitement. “I read your book in one day. Obsessed! I ordered a physical copy, and I’m going to need you to sign it as soon as it comes in.”
Wes rubbed my back as I struggled to take this compliment like a normal person.
“I thought you didn’t write smut,” she continued, waggling a brow. “Why the switch?”
The group of people around us fell silent, all eyes falling to me. I grounded myself with Wes’s soft trail of fingers down my back as I thought about my answer.
“That wasn’t the only shift with this book,” I said, digging for the right words and squirming under all the attention.
Lorelei sat on a barstool close by, sipping her diet coke. She smiled at me.
“I wanted to write something real. I wanted to see my friends in this story, their dreams and their disappointments. I wanted love that was gritty and complicated and raw. I love my older books, but I’ve changed since I wrote them. Life can’t always be tied up in a neat little bow.”
I met Wes’s eyes. The way he looked at me made the entire room fall away, until it was Just Wes and Just Nova.
“To Nova and her hot new release!” Ruby declared, raising her glass.
The room cheered again. I clinked my glass with Wes’s, and as we drank, my eyes never left his.
“I’d like to tie you up in a neat little bow,” he whispered in my ear.
“We do that literally all the time.”
He laughed and kissed my forehead, gently pulling me from the fray. We passed by the smokers huddled outside, and Wes and I sat on the stoop of the building next to the shop. I leaned on his shoulder, watching people walk by and stare at our lively party, wondering what we were celebrating.
We were both silent for a moment.
Wes released a breath before he spoke. “You’ve immortalized our love.”
I lifted my head. “I think you’ll be in everything I write forever.”
He gripped my face and stared me hard in the eyes. “I’d fucking better.” He leaned in closer, thumbing the discreet silver ring around my neck, the symbol of his ownership. “Who do you belong to?”
I smiled as laughter and music billowed through the frigid night. “You.”
Just before our lips met, Wes said, “Forever has a nice ring to it.”
Warm and safe in his strong grip, my lips melted against his. Our future flitted across my mind’s eye, as if it had already been written in the stars.
“You think?” I asked when he pulled back. I searched his stormy eyes, finding comfort in their intensity.
“Oh, baby, I know. I’ve always known.”
He tugged on my collar.
“You and I will never be free of each other.”