Chapter Two #2
Alexandra ignored her for as long as she could, reaching out to pretend to adjust the broom.
“It’s nothing,” she said, sounding like it was very much something.
“I just—I thought he… liked me. He said…” She trailed off, looking away sharply.
She swiped quickly at her eyes, which had done the most wretched thing and let a few tears escape.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said resolutely, slamming her composure back into place.
She picked up the broom again and began to sweep the floor aggressively.
Lisa sighed. “The men in this city,” she muttered, and Alexandra could hear the venom in her voice. “The whole lot of them need to be barreled and tossed out to sea.”
Alexandra was inclined to agree, but she didn’t quite trust her voice just yet.
She kept sweeping, though her eyes were too blurry to really see what she was doing.
The broom went over the same board four times.
She had been in this shop since she was nine years old, and she could not name one thing in it that would be different tomorrow.
“I’ve been thinking,” Lisa said slowly. “What would you say to a change of scenery?”
“How do you mean?” Alexandra asked, looking up, her emotions temporarily forgotten.
Lisa shrugged. “We don’t have anything really tying us down to this place. We could go somewhere else.”
“But—the store?” Alexandra asked.
Lisa shrugged again. “It was something I started as a way to earn a few extra dollars and to pass the time. You were always more fond of it than I was.”
Alexandra couldn’t deny it. If Lisa had her way, she’d be hiking her way through the Appalachians, never to be seen again. She looked around the bookstore, which had been her second home for as long as she could remember. “But where would we go? What would we do?”
“Well, you know I’ve always wanted to see the desert—we could go to Mexico,” Lisa suggested.
Alexandra made a face before she could stop herself. Lisa, spying her reaction, immediately pounced. “Ah hah! I thought as much.”
“Thought what?” Alexandra said, pulling back slightly and trying to school her face back into obedience.
“You don’t want a grand adventure,” Lisa said, putting her hands on her hips. “You like simplicity, stability.”
Alexandra sighed, shifting the broom from hand to hand. “I suspect that’s true,” she said quietly. “I’m just not like you, Aunt. I have no stomach for grand adventures. I’m sorry if this makes me a disappointment.”
“Oh, my dear girl,” Lisa said, striding forward to take Alexandra by the hands, setting the broom aside. “You could never be a disappointment, not ever. I just want you to be honest with yourself. After what happened last fall, I—well, I was just so worried about you.”
“I know,” Alexandra said quietly, unable to meet her aunt’s eye. The fact was that she couldn’t see a real future for herself anymore, either. She’d thought by this point she’d be living in domestic bliss, but… well, that had all been for naught.
“To that end,” Lisa soldiered on, “I’ve brought something for you.” She released Alexandra’s hands and turned back to the counter, where she’d laid her dark brown beaded reticule. She withdrew a folded piece of paper and opened it into a newspaper page.
Gingerly, Alexandra took it when Lisa held it out. She glanced at it and saw advertisements. Men seeking brides.
“Marriage?” Alexandra squeaked, her brows shooting up her forehead.
“And why not?” Lisa demanded. “It’s a good way to get out of this cesspit of a city, and a nice, quiet life besides. Look at this one—this man is seeking ‘amiable companionship’ and has three children who need minding. Oh, he owns a horse ranch outside Virginia City!”
The word companionship caught her. She read it herself. “Children?” Alexandra said dubiously. “What do I know about minding children?”
“What did I know?” Lisa said.
Her parents had died in a cholera outbreak when she wasn’t even ten years old. Lisa had taken her in, despite her disinterest in marriage and her own independent streak.
“If I can do half as well as you, then I’d be a wonderful mother,” Alexandra said, smiling at Lisa.
Lisa touched her arm. “Does this mean—”
“There’s no harm in writing to the man,” Alexandra said. “After all, he might not even want me.”
She turned away from Lisa, who began to hum as she bustled about, looking for ink and some paper.
Alexandra went to a shelf and pretended to shelve books, dragging the library ladder over and running the top row through her hands, pulling volumes out only to put them back again.
The high shelves had become hers some years ago, without either of them ever quite deciding that they should.
She bit her lip. There was always the possibility that whatever was waiting out there would be better than what she had.
Who knows, she mused. Maybe I’ll finally meet a man who values me as I am.
She put the stack of books down a bit more loudly than she intended and marched to the counter, where Lisa was still puttering, writing the letter of reply. Her resolve wavered. Her aunt turned the letter around, ready for her to sign.
She reached for the pen. Her hand stopped an inch above the paper and stayed there long enough that Lisa began, very quietly, to hum again.
Alexandra signed her name.