Chapter 30
Thirty
Iopen the door to our apartment in a daze, my mind reeling from Riven’s confessions.
My cloak is drenched from the storm that’s starting to brew outside, my cheeks red and numb from the blowing gale.
The Veil has always caused frequent electrical storms, the whole expanse of the mists often lighting up from the barrage of lightning within.
My gaze immediately snaps to Stryx, the blood draining from my face as Riven’s last words ring through my ears. Before I can question her though, I notice Xavier isn’t there.
“Where is he?” I say, my voice as numb as I feel.
She twists her fingers and grimaces. “He woke up and demanded to know where you went when he realised you had gone. I didn’t tell him of course, but he figured it out quickly. He left immediately to stop you, even though it was too late.”
I sigh heavily. Trying to stop me talking to Riven only cements his guilt further, though for what he’s guilty of when it comes to this specific case, I’m still not sure.
Even though I’ve finally got some answers out of Riven, I’m more confused now than I’ve ever been, and my conflict must show on my face as Stryx looks at me and pales.
“What did Riven tell you? What’s wrong?”
I look at my best friend, my heart palpitating as I consider Riven’s words. Surely she wouldn’t betray me too? Not her. But self preservation wins out, and before I can stop myself, I ask the question that I know could break my heart into pieces.
“Why did you really leave Lunoreth, Stryx? Why did you come here?”
She swallows thickly, and tears start to well in my eyes.
“You,” she says with a heavy sigh. “I came here for you.”
“Why?” I choke out, a tear finally breaking free and falling slowly down my face. Riven was right all along.
I can’t trust anyone.
She sees the betrayal in my eyes and stalks over to me, grabbing my hands and pulling them to her chest, fixing me with a firm stare.
“I love you, Octavia. Look into my eyes and know that is true. I’ve never lied to you, but yes, there are certain truths I have omitted, for your safety and your sanity. I was waiting for the right time, but it seems my hand has been forced.”
“What is this?” I breathe, gulping down air as I try and fail to regulate my increasingly rapid breathing.
“What did Riven tell you?” she asks gently, cupping a hand against my cheek.
I sniff, momentarily debating whether I should reveal his secret, but it’s not like he’s given me any incentive to keep it hidden.
I owe him nothing. “He’s half mortal, half Echofae.
A sick experiment by his psychotic father who tortured Echofae to try and transfer their magic to mortals.
Xavier and Vesper were part of it, he’s their half brother, that’s why he cursed them all. ”
Stryx’s eyes widen at the news, but her shock isn’t as severe as I expected.
“You knew?” I accuse her, my eyes narrowing.
She shakes her head adamantly. “No, no I didn’t know. Especially about Xavier. But…”
I step away from her. “But what?”
She bites her lip. “I had my suspicions that Riven wasn’t mortal. At least, not entirely. His magic, it’s more like mine. Plus, your emotions have been so heightened around him–”
“What do you mean?” I cut in, my heart pounding furiously. “I’ve been feeling out of control because of magic use, that’s nothing to do with him.”
She shakes her head slowly with a sad smile. “No, Octavia. That’s not how magic works. Not for you, anyway. Or me.”
My mind reels back to the first time I sat in Riven’s office, when I confessed to him I was worried about losing myself to magic, but he said I would be fine.
“The Echofae are connected to each other. Our magic is born of the elements, we channel from the earth, from the sky. We are all bound to each other, our magic strengthening when we come together. We feel a sort of pull to one another, it’s our magic trying to bridge the gap.
It’s why you saved me the day we met. And you can feel it with him too, can’t you? That pull?”
I continue to step back from her slowly, shaking my head in denial, but she continues.
“Your emotions, your memories, they started becoming stronger every time he was close by. The only time in the last week you’ve felt like yourself was when you didn’t see him for two days.
That’s when I started putting the pieces together about him.
Of course, your emotions have always been stronger around me, but not as much as him.
But then, we aren’t exactly the same, you and I, whereas you and him… ”
“What are you saying?” I whisper, knowing what she’s going to say, but refusing to believe it.
Pity swims in her eyes. “Riven isn’t the only half mortal in this city, Octavia. There’s a reason you two keep getting drawn together. Your magic pulls toward each other because you are the same.”
My back hits the door, and it takes all my effort not to sink to the floor.
I stare at her like she’s flown off the edge of reason.
“You’re wrong. That’s impossible,” I say, my voice sharp with disbelief.
“My parents were mortal, brown hair, both of them. They raised me in Eidravelle. I’ve told you–”
Stryx shakes her head seriously, her eyes lost of their usual child-like innocence. “You’ve told me what you remember. But tell me, Octavia, what do you remember, exactly?”
I open my mouth, but no words come out. The answer hovers just out of my reach, as if hidden behind fog.
“I—I remember the house,” I recall uncertainly.
“The—the garden. My mother’s voice.” But even as the words leave my lips, the memories waver, distorted, like reflections in rippling water.
“I lost my memories because of my magic, you know that. The strain of it–”
“No,” Stryx interrupts, firm and calm. “That’s what someone told you. That isn’t how your magic works. At least, it shouldn’t.”
My Shadow appears as my heart starts to hammer incessantly, and I frown, anger starting to lap at the edges of my panic. “Of course it is. You’ve seen how it eats at me, how it takes things when I use too much.”
You’re wrong… The voice echoes ominously through my head as my Shadow creeps closer.
Stryx’s gaze softens, but her words are still edged with quiet insistence. “I’ve seen what it does to you, yes. But I’ve also seen enough magic to know the difference between loss and repression. You didn’t forget because of magic, Octavia. Someone forced you to forget.”
I freeze. “That’s…that’s absurd. Who would even–”
“Really? Because it seems to me that you seem to have plenty of emotions. Especially lately.”
Listen…
I mentally swat at my Shadow, trying my best to ignore him. Stryx raises a brow pointedly and I bristle, ready to argue, but the words catch in my throat. My pulse stutters as Stryx’s words start to sink in. I consider my temper, fear, my grief. How vivid and raw it’s all felt recently.
Especially near him…
Leave me alone!
“That doesn’t mean anything,” I manage, though my voice has lost its conviction.
Stryx sighs, rubbing her temple. “Your brain will invent a reality if it’s deprived of one. You believed what you were told because you needed to, because the truth was too strange, too dangerous to fit into a mortal life.”
“What truth?” I whisper, my Shadow echoing the same words in my mind.
“The truth,” Stryx says softly, “is that you weren’t born here. You were born in Lunoreth.”
I stop breathing.
You know she’s right…
Stryx meets my gaze squarely, no trace of jest or exaggeration in her tone. “You disappeared from there as a child—stolen. Kidnapped by your mortal father. You are half Echofae, Octavia. Like Riven.”
The room seems to tilt. I stumble against the door, my heartbeat roaring in my ears.
She’s right, you know this…
“No,” I breathe, shaking my head violently. “No, that can’t—that’s not–”
“Think about it,” Stryx presses gently. “You’ve always felt different, haven’t you?”
I don’t answer. I can’t. My chest aches, my thoughts splintering beneath the weight of Stryx’s words.
I feel like a tiny fish surrounded by the sharks I’ve unknowingly befriended.
If this is true, my whole life has been a lie, and everyone I’ve ever loved or deemed a friend has been an accomplice to it.
Lunoreth. Kidnapped. Half Echofae…
I can’t distinguish my thoughts from my Shadow’s anymore. It’s all madness.
“Stryx,” I whimper hoarsely, “if that’s true…then everything I thought I knew–”
“–has been built on a lie,” Stryx confirms.
Lies, lies, lies…
I continue to shake my head, firmly in denial. “Surely if I was Echofae, I would have shifted by now, or accessed elemental magic? This can’t be true.”
“I don’t know,” she admits. “As far as I’m aware, you and Riven are the only half mortals to have ever been born. Did he elaborate on his abilities?”
“No.” I rake my finger through my hair erratically.
“He’s been using illusions to disguise himself like you, and he has the same visible aura, but that’s it.
I didn’t exactly have time to interrogate him about it–” Something suddenly occurs to me.
“You said his magic felt different? What does mine feel like?”
Dangerous…
Leave. Me. Alone.
She frowns. “I’ve seen you face the consequences of your magic, but in all this time I’ve never witnessed you actually using it.”
I huff impatiently. “No one has, it’s not legal. I’ve had to hide it–”
“Show me,” she cuts in sharply.
Do it…
“Stryx–”
Hurt her…
“Show me. Now!”