Chapter 38 #2
“What did Xavier and Vesper do when you killed your father?” I ask.
“At that point, Xavier and Vesper had already put distance between us, but after I killed him they disowned me completely. They changed their names, moved away. Xavier joined the Division, I assume with the hopes of making his own way in the world without our oppressive family name. So I took up our father’s mantle, took his place in the council, even officially joined the cult.
I made a name for myself too, became a person people respected, feared even.
The whole time I couldn’t get you out of my head, though. ”
He pauses, his fingers gently brushing my knee as he rests our joined hands on my leg.
I try to ignore the shiver that crawls its way up my spine at the sensation of his hand on me, trying to remind myself of how dangerous he is.
But whilst I’m still wary of him, I can’t deny the part of me that seems to crave the lure of danger.
“I started using my power for good,” he continues, his fingers idly tracing circles against my skin.
“I started cutting away the rot of this city, killing everyone who’d ever been a part of those hideous experiments, and freeing any Echofae that I could.
Then, by chance, you turned up when one of my missions went awry.
But you mistakenly thought I was the suspect, and I realised then, a way I could talk to you without being close to you.
That’s when I started sending the notes. ”
I stare at the floor, trying to focus on everything he’s saying. “I get all that, but what has this got to do with the murdered seers? And why did they wait so long to try the ritual again? It’s been what? Twenty years since it was attempted on us?”
“Because they realised the ritual failed, not just because of your mother, but because they needed the Codex Of Thorns. It won’t work without the right incantations, and the Codex has been hidden for that very reason. They’ve spent the last two decades looking for it.”
I inhale sharply. “Stryx and I read about it in the Archives, shortly before we were attacked.”
He grimaces. “It seems like someone’s been trying to stop you figuring out too much, trying to work the narrative to their advantage.
A few months ago I started to hear whispers, rumours about a new, formidable mortal, someone who could bring about the revolution the cult so desperately craved.
The rituals started not long after. I’ve been wondering if it’s that same person who attacked you in the Archives. ”
He pauses again while I try to take everything in, my heart racing uncontrollably.
“That’s when the murders started? But if you’ve been a part of this cult, wouldn’t you be part of this too? How can you not know who this person is?”
“This cult, they’re…fanatical, especially of late.
I’ve been keeping my distance in recent years.
I blamed it on my growing responsibilities as Governor, but I know a few of them started to suspect that I was hiding something.
A couple of weeks ago they called a meeting out of the blue, and I decided to attend so I could figure out what was going on.
As soon as I arrived I was cornered. My memory after that was forcibly siphoned, so I have no recollection of what happened to the seer or who was responsible for it.
They made me take her home, remove her diadem and I instructed her to lock the doors.
When she ended up dead the next morning…
I assumed whatever they were doing, they were trying to pin the murder on me for some reason.
I had no choice but to do the same thing with the rest of the victims.”
I narrow my eyes at him, playing it all out in my head. “I don’t understand. How did they force you to do all this? Not only once, but three times? You’re clearly powerful, why didn’t you just fight back?”
He turns his head and his gaze locks on mine, guilt swimming in the depths. “Because they threatened to kill you if I didn’t.”
I swallow thickly. “You—you did all this…for me?”
I’m really not sure how I feel about that.
“I couldn’t let them hurt you,” he insists, his grip on my leg tightening.
“But don’t worry, I made sure to play them at their own game.
You already suspected Corvus, so I continued sending the notes; I made you think I was responsible, deliberately confused you so you would be drawn to investigate me.
I hoped in doing so you would learn the truth and release me from that damn oath. ”
Realisation dawns on me like I’ve been plunged into the icy waters of Lake Voyd. “You were showing me everything from the beginning. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. You even had those damn diadems and Cyril’s crucible right in plain sight the first time I stepped into your office!”
He chuckles darkly. “Yes, that was particularly fun. When you accused me of being the murderer, I did wonder if their presence had factored into your equation.”
I inwardly curse myself at the fact that I didn’t. That’s why there were three diadems—he had already removed one from the third victim before he died. I frown as I process that. “So, the third victim, he was–”
“Left in the street, yes. I was taking him home when I had a sudden vision; I saw your impending death at that brothel. I damn near lost my mind. I took the diadem from his head, like the others, and I ran straight to you.”
“That’s why you asked me what I’d figured out about the murders, you were trying to work out how much I knew?”
He nods again. “I knew I had to do something to point you in the right direction, but then Vesper…I honestly have no idea how she came to be involved. As far as I’m aware, her and Xavier were never privy to information about the cult like I was.
I was going to see her body for myself, to try and figure it out, but then Xavier accused me of her murder and attacked me.
I saw the doubt in your eyes then, and I worried I’d taken this too far, luring you in.
So when you marched into my office to interrogate me, I was drunk enough that I thought being honest with you about my true identity would be a good idea. ”
“Considering it led us here, I’d agree,” I say with a wary smile, and the look of relief on his face is almost heartbreaking. “Why did you have to resort to these stupid gimmicks, though? Why couldn’t you just find a way to tell me instead of leaving breadcrumbs for me to follow?”
His expression turns grave. “Like I said, they would have killed you. The prophecy foretold you were the key, but which way you would turn was completely unknown. If they discovered I’d told you the truth about them, no doubt they would have killed you.
I had hoped the murders would bring you to the truth instead, as well as my other clues.
As a detective, you were safe to investigate without being looked on suspiciously. ”
“Yes, Stryx said something similar, though her version of guidance seems to be a little less intrusive than yours,” I mutter as I rub my hands over my eyes, trying to make sense of it all.
“Well, you can’t say it wasn’t effective,” he jokes, but it falls flat.
“This is completely insane,” I groan, closing my eyes as I let my head fall back against the wall. He stays silent, and I crack an eye open to find him staring at me sadly.
“What is it?” I whisper, anxiety roiling through me at his pained expression.
He slowly stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up so I’m standing inches from him. He runs his hand over my shoulder, smoothing out the creases in my cloak with a frown.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you.
When you bumped into me in that alley after the first murder, I tried to act all nonchalant, but inside, I thought I was going to lose it,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible.
“And now you’re here, and you finally know the truth, I thought I’d feel happy or relieved. But I just feel…guilty.”
My heart aches as I study his beautiful face.
He’s done some truly awful things—things I can’t ignore—but as I see the pain in his eyes, I know in my soul he has remorse for his actions.
And this bond between us isn’t imagined.
He clearly cares for me, enough to have been looking out for me this whole time.
Even if he does have a messed up way of showing it.
I don’t know if my confused feelings about him come from me, or from this bond we seem to share from our unique biology, but right now, I can’t find it in me to care.
My entire world has turned upside down, and right now, he is the only thing anchoring me to my sanity.
I tentatively brush my fingers against his chest, the pain in his eyes too much to bear. “I feel like we are both in serious need of a hug or something,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
He frowns. “A hug?”
“Yes, you know, what normal people do when they try to comfort each other?”
“I’m not normal.”