Chapter 37 Famine Without End
Sapphire
Patient Two expected to respond favorably to correctional Lady-Doll Regimen within three weeks. Temporal Displacement Fixation (Time Traveling Delusions) requires further investigation and rigorous treatments pending compliance.
The raw eggs weren’t that bad.
But the oats and laxatives had me spending most of my day in the washroom.
“Were your meals as tasty as you hoped they would be?” Meridei pulls up a small metal chair. I was hoping she was too busy for my case. That I could slide on by without attracting anymore of her attention.
“They were fine. Thank you.” I face away from her on my bed, strapped down after the washroom trips finally stopped.
“Fine? I’m sure they are nothing compared to your feasts of crumpets and cookies, yes?”
Ah, I see what we’re doing now.
“They were even better. I feel cleansed and well nourished,” I say in a level, controlled voice.
Meridei is quiet for a little too long, though I don’t dare turn around to see if she’s left or not. I know better.
“You sure you aren’t craving cake? Perhaps a bite of chocolate? I could sneak some in for you, if you’d like?” Meridei slips into a friendly mask with a hushed volume to her questions. If I didn’t know who she really is, I might have fallen for her olive branch.
“Oh, no thank you. I am dedicated to the carefully planned regimen you have planned for me.”
“How…womanly of you to fully immerse yourself in this experience, Miss Valdawell.”
I can feel her eyes bore into me.
“When will I get to see my husband again?” I change the subject, hoping she’ll stop baiting, stop attempting to catch me slipping up.
“Tomorrow. At your first dual treatment.” She pauses, sighs like she has something to get off her chest. “I am so sorry, Miss Valdawell, I know he asked me not to tell you about what happened earlier…”
I perk up but still refuse to face her. “What happened?”
“I would just hate for this to affect your rehabilitation. Especially with how committed you are.”
“What is it?”
Meridei sighs again as if she might cry. “Part of your husband’s affliction is caused by how pent up he is…sexually.”
I blink at the stone wall, then turn to look her in the eye. “Huh?”
“I know it’s a sin, but it’s my duty as a conformist to help him recover and relieve him of these obstacles.”
Is she still talking about Niklaus?
“I performed oral sex on him, Miss Valdawell. I am so deeply sorry. I offered to take that burden off him, since you’ve been failing your marital duties and participating in overconsumption of sweets and pastries.
He was so desperate for my mouth to swallow his semen.
I had to uphold my vow to help those who can’t help themselves as a senior conformist of this asylum. ”
Meridei stands to move a loose strand of hair away from my left eye.
“Between us girls, his cum tastes wonderful.” She uses her thumb to wipe her bottom lip, then sucks it clean. “Maybe if you spent less time stuffing your trap with sugar, you’d remember how delectable his cock tastes.”
It’s not hard to keep my face emotionless because I don’t care what he does.
He isn’t really my husband. I have no romantic attachment to him.
But I’m trying to understand why my chest pulls taught, like someone is pulling a string and tightening the fabric that keeps me together.
My skin prickles as I examine her mouth, her lips curling into an innocent smile.
The thought of her mouth on him…
My stomach knots. A stack of coals smolders and smokes under my ribs.
Am I angry that she thinks this would hurt me, and she’s clearly hoping for a big reaction? Am I burning on the inside out of disgust? I don’t want to know what kind of explicit activities Niklaus takes part in! I don’t want to think about his hands woven into her hair as she…
“H—he asked you to do this?” I stammer then clear my throat.
The image of him on a patient bed while she pleases him…that image refuses to loosen its grip on me.
“Yes,” she says, watching my reaction closely.
You think I care?! How do I keep from laughing in your smug little face? I don’t give a shit about Niklaus. You can have him!
But that resounding ache blooms in my gut as my thoughts refuse to go quiet.
“Thank you for doing what you need to do to help him,” I respond submissively, bowing my head in gratitude.
No, I will not give you the satisfaction of a reaction. I’m sure that’s what you’re used to getting. And what happens after that, Meridei? You probably punish your patients with gruesome treatments for lashing out.
Meridei’s perfectly serene face flinches at my lack of a desired response. A quick twitch in her cheek and the fake look of remorse and feigned innocence is gone.
“Good.” She turns to the door, walking on her tiptoes with her hands behind her back like a disciplined ballerina. “You will get your glass of water for supper, then I will see you and your husband first thing in the morning for dual treatments.”
I unclench my fists and rest my head back on the bed as the door scrapes open.
Meridei pauses at the threshold.
“I do hope it’s not awkward for the three of us tomorrow.”
One orderly escorts me to a treatment room with a circuit board and two white reclining chairs I’ve only ever sat in for a dental checkup.
Meridei stands behind the circuit board, examining her cuticles as I’m seated, strapped in, and told to wait.
Nerves whoosh in out of my lungs, though I refuse to let her see it, so I keep my bored gaze trained on the white shoes of my orderly stationed at the door. The only thing that breaks my trance is watching three orderlies escort Niklaus into this room.
His walk is confident and unbothered. Why? Probably because he just got his cock sucked. While I’m digesting laxatives, he’s probably getting his choice of which conformists he gets to bury his dick into.
Bare feet stand next to the shoes I’m choosing to focus on. I won’t look up. I swear to God, I won’t lock eyes with him.
“How terribly uncomfortable.” Meridei pats the top of my head. “We’re all in the same room together after last night.”
Niklaus laughs, but the sound is unnerving. It has a sharp edge to it that is unexpected. Somewhat cruel. Somewhat angry.
“Here.” My orderly holds a glass out to me. Three raw eggs swirl in a slimy puddle. Awe, and here I thought I wasn’t getting breakfast today.
“I think I’ll skip it,” I say.
I have a twisty feeling inside that this treatment is going to upset my stomach. And it’s already seriously unhappy with me after yesterday. After the ninety-seven trips to the toilet.
“Drink it!” Meridei orders with a little less patience she’s had yesterday.
My eyes flash up to Niklaus, watching me in his white uniform and dark hair hanging in his face. Those hardened deep blue eyes have lost their usual unamused look. They’re wider. They’re…alarmed.
I gulp down the raw eggs, ignoring the slimy lumps as they pass over my tongue. It’s just raw eggs. It’s just raw eggs. But that convulsing urge to gag is definitely there, however I would rather drop dead then let either of them see it.
Niklaus waits for me to finish. That subtle grimace flashes from existence, and in its place he smirks. “Hello, darling wife.”
I let my eyes roam over his face before redirecting my attention to the orderly.
“Thank you,” I say as he takes the empty glass away.
Niklaus’s orderlies connect his shackles to the reclined chair, ensuring he can’t do anything to break free.
“That’s good. I can strap him in myself,” Meridei commands, heels clacking as she rounds the circuit board to join Niklaus.
The orderlies nod like mindless soldiers, exiting the room to leave the three of us alone. And the silence leads to an image that sneaks past my best mental guard. An image that pierces a hole in the cold, emotionless state I’ve decided to meditate in.
The image of these two together. Her mouth on him. On her knees. Niklaus looking down at her with stormy eyes.
Why would he want her? Knowing everything he knows about her from what we’ve read? Her disturbing proclivity for tormenting her patients? What my mother did to her? What Meridei put my parents through?
I didn’t have much respect for him to begin with, but this tanks whatever remained.
Still, the burn in my chest grows as I watch her touch his chest, tighten the straps over his stomach, and lingering for a moment too long. That uneasiness sends my nerves into a frenzy.
“Is that too tight?” Meridei asks, making circles with her thumb over his wrist.
My stomach falls.
“No.”
“Mmm,” Meridei moans. “And here?” She runs both her hands over the straps on his upper thighs.
I turn away, trying to summon that numb sensation that lets me dissociate from the ache that’s curling around my lungs like a venomous snake.
It’s hard to retract into myself though, to go somewhere deep into the forest of my mind.
They’re right next to me. Our chairs are pushed against each other.
I tighten my elbow against my body to keep from touching his.
Niklaus laughs again. “I see what you’re doing.”
I’m filled to the brim with hard shards of ice.
Breathe.
“You’re awfully quiet over there, Miss Valdawell,” Meridei taunts.
I keep my mouth plastered shut. If I speak, I might cry.
“Sapphire S. Valdawell. That’s what your file says. What does the S stand for?” She waits, but I remain unmoving. “Or could your parents just not decide?”
“My mother couldn’t decide.” That’s only half true.
“And she didn’t realize you’d get made fun of for that I bet.”
I slide my glare to Niklaus. Because she’s right, what my mother didn’t anticipate was that Niklaus Demechnef would be that person to find any little thing to tear me down with.
Even my middle name.