9. Rico #2
“I’on know, Snow. It’s… sex. I ain’t ever put feelings on that shit. If I had an itch, and I was out handling business, I’d pull up on a slide. It’s what I’d been doing. It ain’t mean shit to me.”
“But it meant something to me! You burned me! Do you even know who gave it to you?!”
My jaw clenches as she drags us down memory lane. We hit a door, but once again, I say fuck it and open it.
“Yeah, actually. I fucked Tiny–”
Snow shoots up to her knees. “You fucked her raw–”
“Man, hell no, Snow. You the only… you the only girl I ever fucked raw, because… you the only person I put feelings on sex with.” My eye patch feels too tight, but I don’t take it off. I just look away from her, thankful I can’t hear her heart breaking like I know it is.
How dumb of me to really think she never gave a fuck about me. Shit’s so evident now… maybe because she’s clean. Maybe because it’s just us. But it’s too much for me. Especially if I wanna clear the air foreal.
“You know better than anybody the kind of life I lived, Snow. But, being young, I thought I could carry on being Luney in the streets, Rick at home, and Richard with you. Bitches ain’t ever meant shit to me, but a means to an end.
That’s how I was taught and that’s how I operated, until you.
Man… it wasn’t supposed to happen like that.
Shit… after I fucked her, I stopped fucking anyone else.
I tried to put the shit out of my head. Ain’t really want no one to know what I did. Damn sure couldn’t tell you.”
“Who else have you fucked that I know, Rico?”
I sigh. “Porscha.”
I look up when I hear her gasp. Somehow I knew, me fucking her friend would hurt way worse than me fucking Tiny.
“Wow,” she breathes. “You truly hated me.”
“Man, you know that’s not true Snow!” I lean forward, planting my hands on the bed. She scrambles back, and I fight not to let that affect me.
“Just the thought of you fucking with any other nigga got me fucked up. I’ve murked almost every nigga who ever touched you.
Put them in the dirt. Put them there myself.
The only reason Set not there is ‘cause I promised Fredo. And Cochise earned his life back. You’re the first and only woman I’ve cared about outside of my mama. ”
“And yet you fucked my best friend!” she cries.
“And I know the exact moment you did it, too… it was way before Set stepped to me, so there’s no excuse except you wanted to hurt me that badly.
You burned me. You cheated. You isolated me from the only people who cared about me, by intimidation or, in her case, your dick.
The ways you’ve hurt me, Rico… you couldn’t love me.
If you did, then your version of love hurts. ”
She dips her head and sniffles.
I want to tell her I come by it honestly, but I’ve done enough. I’ve laid myself bare, and I guess, now–
“I fucked Pooh.”
The air is sucked out of the room. My eyes lock on hers. They’re bloodshot, but still clear as day. Like the small smile on her lips.
“No you didn’t.”
She lowers her bottom to the heels of her feet. “Yes, I did.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I do. I met him, and I fucked him.” She smiles fully. Victoriously.
But she’s lying. There’s no way she knows that nigga. No fucking way. For a reason.
Nan didn’t even know of her until I brought her here. Snow only knows what I told her about Pooh. There’s no way–
“He ate my pussy right there on the dining room table. The one in the Hundred Acre Wood, with the glass chandelier on top–”
“Stop–” My fingers dig into the bed. There’s no way… no way for her to know about that fuck ass place, in that fuck ass house. There’s no way–
“That gold cross dangling in my face as he pumped into me–”
“Snow–” She’s baiting me. She has to be. She wouldn’t do that. Not my Snow. Set, okay. But she wouldn’t fuck Pooh–
“The best part, was after,” she continues, driving the knife farther into my chest. “That nigga’s a trick. Gave me this beautiful eighteen karat gold bracelet. Must be an heirloom, because there’s something on the inside I can’t make out–”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I roar, jumping out of my seat. I pivot at the last second, grabbing my toppled chair and throwing as hard as I can against the wall.
This bitch fucked my father. And his bitch ass gave her one of my mother’s bracelets.
I guess there was something worse than her fucking Set.
When I turn back toward Snow, she’s cowering as far as she can away from me, holding onto my headboard.
“TE GUSTA ESTO?! TE GUSTA QUE ESTé ENOJADO?!” My head feels like it’s being split in two, and I’m sure I just busted a fucking stitch.
I gotta get out of here before I really do snap her neck.
Stalking out of my room, I pull out my phone. It takes three tries to get it right, but I dial Haze’s number as I lock myself into my office.
I’m killing this bitch.
And I’m killing Pooh.
My mouth opens to proclaim as such before I’m interrupted.
“Hi, Rico!”
I’m not expecting Patience, so unfortunately, some of my ire is smothered at the sound of her voice.
She’s the perfect balance to Turk and Haze. The path to how they got to where they are now was rocky, but they’re probably one of the most, if not the healthiest example of a relationship I’ve seen. And it’s because of her.
They know it, too, and spoil her accordingly.
“My bad for answering Auty’s phone. She’s in one of her moods right now. Is Wynter okay? Between you and me, I think they’re more connected than they think.”
I deflate in my chair. “She’s… alive.”
“I know that tone,” Pay snickers. “I know she’s working your nerves, but she needs you.
Something is driving Wyn to indulge in drugs and alcohol, and if anyone can pull her out of that hole, it’s you.
Once she confronts her demons, she can manage her triggers, and live a full, sober life. I believe in you, Rico.”
“Well, thanks, little fox,” I chuckle. I stopped calling her zorrita after Pay came back from Colombia accusing me of calling her a slut all this time. Spanish and its triple entendres.
“Be the change you wanna see! I’ll tell Auty you called, and have her call you back when she’s feeling better.”
“Fasho.” We say our goodbyes and I breathe deeply a few times.
For the sake of my sanity, I make myself believe this bitch wouldn’t do something so fucked up as to fuck Pooh, while also making a note to see about her own trifling ass mama.
Then, after an hour, I walk back to my room.
“Just… if you’re going to kill me, at least–”
“I’m not gon’ kill you, Snow.” Since the chair burst when I threw it, I just stand by the side of the bed, and shove my fisted hands into my pockets.
“Everything’s clear, and out in the open. Let’s start all the way over.”
She makes a weird noise, but I ignore it.
“Not even as friends. Let’s start from nothing.
The slate is completely clean. I’ll even keep up this honesty thing.
We’re two completely different people from when we last really knew each other, and the present should dictate that, especially when you’re supposed to be staying sober and building your endurance. So from now on, we’re at level zero.”
She leans down to wipe her face before narrowing her eyes at me. “I don’t get it… you’re not killing me. Why? Why do you care that much that you wanna start over? Auty begged you not to hurt me?”
I don’t answer right away. Yeah, I just called Haze to tell her she’d be twinless, but she isn’t the driving reason behind me wanting her to be better. Not with the air clear.
Nah. This has everything to do with my own shit, my own aspirations still buried too deep to shine light on.
So, I give her a half-truth, already breaking my honesty vow.
“This isn’t about anyone else but you, Snow.
I could manipulate you into accepting my truce, but I’m tired, and it’s been a long night.
And you basically called me a heartless ass nigga, and I kinda wanna prove you wrong.
So can you just agree so I can uncuff you? ”
She purses her lips. “And… you’re not gonna kill me? Not now, or in the foreseeable future?”
“On my mama, Snow, You’ll live to see another day.”
All the fight whooshes out of her before she nods.
I walk to the other side of the bed and uncuff her, careful not to touch her. She clambers off the bed and rushes to the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door.
“Jesus! I’d been holding it for hours!”
I chuckle as I hear her wash her hands, and meet her at the door. She follows me like a lil’ kid until we get to another door, and I open it for her.
“You can sleep here for now. I’ll have your clothes moved to this room. Breakfast is at sunrise, which is in a couple hours–”
“Say less.” Snow walks past me and collapse facefirst onto the duvet.
I roll my eyes. “I’m keeping this door unlocked, but I’m telling you now, ain’t no one gon’ help you escape, but they will kill you if you try to kill me.”
She doesn’t answer, and a few seconds later, snoring filters through her room.
I pull the door closed, and ignore a grinning Fredo as I go and climb into my own bed.
Before sleep takes me, I turn and face my own bedroom mirror, at this fuck ass eye patch.
We really not identical anymore.
“No,” I answer aloud. “I guess not.”