40. Wyn #2
“Only ‘cause you said ‘please’.” False humor colors his voice, but it bounces right off of me.
“She’s never done that, Rico… I can’t believe–” a sob interrupts my rant, and I move my face so that my cheek lay in his drenched t-shirt.
“I killed the two people she thinks she needs the most, Snow. If I can’t kill her, then I think we have to take that into consideration.”
“I feel like I’m losing her. I feel like I’ve lost her already… why? Why did you do that?”
I lean back and meet his piercing glare. His tongue ring swipes his bottom lip before he combs it with his teeth.
“There is no world where I would let the two muthafuckas who are supposed to do right by you keep living after they’ve failed you so miserably.
I fucked you up, bad. I’ll admit that. You fucked yourself up, too.
But all roads lead to Aaron and Amani Shaw.
I was going to tell you in person, but Turk jumped the gun and I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone but me.
But hear me; when it comes to actually doing them in, I’m not sorry, Snow. ”
When he’s done, I exhale, blowing all the air out of my body until I melt into the bed.
“I know,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I love you, anyway.”
There’s a second of stillness, but then he yanks me to his chest. His shoulders drop, and he presses his lips to the top of my head again, keeping them there.
“You do?” he asks, and my heart twists at the relief dripping from his voice.
I throw my leg around his hips and pull him impossibly closer.
“I do, baby. Always. Thank you for always putting me first, even when I don’t… and thank you in advance for not killing Auty.”
“Life is beating her ass enough,” he says. I want to ask what he means, but my eyes grow heavy, and I’m out like a light before I can open my mouth.
It’s one of those weird days where it’s storming in the middle of the summer. But it’s still a good day. A really good day.
Today is day one of the rest of my life.
I’ve been given a clean bill of health for the time being.
My hair is beginning to grow and cover the curved scar on the side of my head, though for Mars’s sake, I still threw on the bucket hat Miele crocheted for me when she first found out I was getting my head cut open.
I don’t have to see the inside of the hospital for another year. It already feels like a fever dream, these past few months. Until I look in the mirror, or glance at the obituary from my parents’ funeral that Rico banned me from going to.
I went anyway, of course. I keep trying to tell Richard that he don’t run shit, especially me. And, no matter what, I couldn’t let Auty go through that alone. It was bad enough she planned everything, but the final goodbye?
She wouldn’t acknowledge me. It’s not like the funeral home was packed. In fact, it was only us, Patience, and Pops. The whole, short service, not a word, not a glance. When it was over, the funeral director handed her the urns, and she walked out of the chapel without a single glance back.
Words would have been said in the parking lot, if Rico hadn’t have swooped in and berated me the whole ride back to his condo. He laughed when I threatened to shoot out his new windows, and we haven’t been speaking much since, on account of him testing my gangsta.
Ju and Mars spending the afternoon with me is an obvious attempt at softening me up, though nothing really can bring me down. All the shit I’ve overcome in this crazy life, I’m thinking about buying some scratchers, since clearly God is providing me some luck for once.
Mars tired himself out hours ago. Once he came in talking about how he spent all night online gaming with Deucey, I knew it was a matter of time. While he snores loudly in my guest room, Ju and I lay on my shag carpet, watching the rain pour down on all the ants below us.
She’s been quiet herself. I know she met up with Bleach and Miko recently, but the fruits of that conversation, she hasn’t told me. So I’ve been waiting her out, enjoying the little things I miss about having a sister.
Every so often, she sighs, or cuts her eyes to me. Her fingers will trace the fingerwaves of her new pixie cut. Now, she’s doomscrolling on her phone.
“I can sit like this all day,” I breathe, shifting so that I’m laying on my stomach. My carpet is so thick, I don’t feel the floor at all. “I love the rain.”
“The rain sucks,” she spits. I hear her phone thump against the floor before she joins me on her back. “It always reminds me of sex.”
My cheek rests on the backs of my hands as I turn to her, grinning. “Fredo and Slime?”
A full body shudder runs through her before she nods.
“I didn’t know what the hell I had back then.
Those two turned me out so bad… I tried to have a ho phase in college.
Why not? You know… nothing ever came close.
Not even the threesomes I had. Them niggas ruined me.
I can’t believe the best sex I ever had was when I was eighteen. ”
“Let me guess, to the soundtrack of rain, too?”
Ju faces me. Sadness fills her eyes, even as a grin pulls at her lips.
“There was this storm once… it rained for like three days. We planned out our whole lives, including Mars. Hanging out with them was so fun; I mean, duh, they were so fine and had money. But that storm… I fell in love with both of them. And now every time it rains I think about how they made me shout it as we made love.”
“Have you reached out to Slime yet?”
Ju blinks, dislodging a tear from her lashes.
“I can’t even tell Blanche about Mars. I had the perfect opportunity, but then I chickened out.
Then Miko tells me she’s married to Ty-Ty, and I spent the rest of the day crying and looking at old pictures.
Sometimes I can’t believe someone I knew for only five months changed my life in such a permanent way, but if I’m this fucked up, then I know Gio…
no, Wyn. I don’t think I’m going to reach out. Not anytime soon.”
I keep the words I want to say to myself. Ju knows she’s hurting, she doesn’t need me to point it out. And besides, maybe she liked Fredo more than Slime. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to be anything without their third in their trio.
I shift onto my back as well, eyes locking onto the chandelier in my kitchen.
“Stop waiting for the right time, and just do it. We’ve been back like what–eight months?
You said Blanche isn’t even close with the rest of your family, so I doubt she’d tell your mom, if that’s your hang-up.
In fact, text her right now.” My body stretches over hers for her phone, but she pushes it out the way.
“I’m not texting her I have a son, crazy lady. Next time I see her… before her birthday, definitely. Maybe I’ll just pop up with him.”
My phone begins to vibrate as she continues to plan out things I know she won’t do.
One thing I’ve learned about Ju is sometimes, she’s all talk and no action.
That, on top of her struggles with people pleasing, are whooping her up and down the street at all times.
Caring for Mars full time has made her grow exponentially, but only when it comes to being a mother.
Standing up for herself and her choices is still near impossible for her.
And unfortunately, my love for arguing Rico down keeps her from flexing more of her authority as Mars’s mom, when it’s so easy for me to go up for her.
Seeing Deucey’s name, I grin and answer the facetime. The screen is dark, and I sit up straight when I hear sniffles coming from his end.
“Deucey? What’s wrong?”
“Can you come get me?” he hiccups.
Ju sits up, too, glancing at my phone.
“What’s wrong, booski? Where’s your parents?”
“They keep fighting. All they do is fight, Auntie. Ever since Ma went to the doctor. It gets so bad sometimes. I don’t wanna be here. Can I come with you?”
My teeth sink into the meat of my lip as I stand. Ju’s already in my bedroom, waking up Mars for where ever we’re about to go.
“Where’s Rue?”
“With Papa Patch. We’re supposed to go to Uncle Cheese’s dinner but–”
“No. Go and lock your door, then pack some clothes. I got my PS5 out of storage so don’t pack that. I’ll be there in like thirty minutes.”
Light shines on the screen when Deucey opens his closet door. They got my baby hiding in the closet?!
Deucey wipes his face with the hand holding his phone. Distantly, I hear those buffoons yelling and carrying on, and I start cracking my knuckles. These niggas have lost their minds.
“Please hurry, Auntie.”
“I’m putting on my shoes now, Deucey Doo. You wanna stay on the phone with me?”
“No,” he sniffs. “Just hurry.”
“I will.” I let him hang up, just as Ju and Mars walk into the living room.
“We need to go get my nephew. You got something on you?”
Ju’s eyes stretch. Grabbing her purse, she pats it twice and arches a brow. “My darling brother-in-law wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“We’re going to get Deuce?” Mars sleepily asks, rubbing his eyes as we shuffle into my elevator.
“Yeah, Marzy. You guys can have a little sleepover here.” I pull Ju behind so he can stand ahead of us. “You gon’ stay in the car with Mars and park a little ways away. I don’t know what I’m walking into, and I don’t need Mars seeing some shit,” I whisper to her.
“Yeah, I figured if you’re asking me about a gun,” she whispers back, but I wave her off.
“That’s just for show,” I say, but the way my stomach squeezes, I know I don’t even believe that.
Ju has us at Auty’s house in no time, and parks two houses down. Thankfully, it’s barely drizzling on this side of the city. Handing me her purse, I tell her to stay put and take big steps toward the house.