Chapter 27 #3
Something about that statement stung like hundreds of little needles pressed into my skin. Lauren chuckled to herself with little to no humor.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked curiously. She drew her head back, eying me with a vaguely amused smile, her cute as hell dimples prominent.
“You’re still hard,” she marveled as if this was unbelievable.
“Lauren, you are butt ass naked.”
“Wanna join me?” Her fingers settled at the waistband of my gray sweats, eyes coming up to mine with a silent urge for permission.
I didn’t stop her as she tugged them down, watching as her front teeth sunk into her lower lip slowly.
My erection twitched at the sight. There was just something about the way Lauren would bite that lip of hers. She asked again, “Do you want me?”
What a strange question to ask a man you’ve got hard as fuck without even touching.
“Clearly,” I replied. “I do.”
Her arms at my abdomen rose to circle around my neck, pulling me along as she stepped backwards toward the shower. Looking over her shoulder, she moved one arm behind her for the faucet, the steady rhythm of her breathing growing irregular as the running water warmed over her outstretched hand.
She was nervous.
And this was when I realized Lauren was not playing with me. Not this time. Rather than excite me, this concerned me at first.
“Hey,” I called her attention away from the running water, raising my eyebrows questioningly once she looked my way. “Where’s all this comin’ from?”
“I want you, as well,” she explained in the exact same tone you’d expect someone to say, ‘Duhh, obviously’.
“Yeah, but—”
“Stop talking,” she complained, stepping backward into the glass-walled shower, until the water landed on her shoulders. Her hands landed in mine and pulled me forward. “Don’t try to talk me out of this.”
The shrinking distance between us was tempting.
As the space between her lips and mine came to a close, my inhibitions moved to the far, far corners of my mind, unleashing a lust from within that decided to ignore the red flags.
Something was definitely wrong, but once Lauren’s lips were on mine, all of those thoughts left my immediate attention.
Lauren’s first few kisses were shy, testing the waters as she got a feel for how much the time apart might’ve changed our relationship.
As she realized our dynamic was left unchanged, her arms came up and circled around my neck, pulling my body in closer, her hardened nipples pressing into my chest. I kissed her back, a mere participant at first, rather than take over, giving her the opportunity to find her own, to get comfortable.
Kissing Lauren was always an event.
Even though she’d gained a lot of experience with me these last few months, it was always a cat and mouse chase with her.
Initially, she would come in aggressively, and then draw back shyly before she got carried away.
I doubted she knew her habit of doing this drove me insane.
Not in a bad way, of course. Lauren’s natural tendency to tease gave my natural tendency to dominate something to work towards.
Her initial aggressiveness subsided and like clockwork, I started to feel her reeling back.
No you won’t…
I followed her as she drew back, my hand coming around between her shoulder blades and holding her in place.
Her muscles relaxed as I took over, matching my momentum as I took lead.
It was with subtle intrigue that I noted that although the water that poured over us was hot, Lauren’s nipples against me were rock hard.
My mouth followed hers as she took a few steps back, ultimately stopping once her backside pressed against the marble ledge mounted against the shower’s back wall.
Bottles of shower gel and shampoo fell from it, slamming into the puddles at our feet.
Without our lips separating, she hopped onto the built-in shower ledge for a seat, and her hand dropped down to take me within her grasp.
Slowly, her hand moved up and down my length, a kind of uncertainty in her touch.
It was then that my lips moved away from hers, and just like the last time we tried this, I offered her an out.
“Are you good?” My voice was hoarse, which took her (and me) by surprise.
But goddamn… the feel of her hand moving up and down the length of my erection was intense—unexpectedly intense.
After being in a monogamous relationship with a woman like Lauren, caught up in the enjoyment of simply being around her, it seemed to have slipped my mind that I hadn’t physically been with anyone in months.
Months. I’d been celibate for over a hundred and ten days.
How the hell did I not notice?
Lauren’s eyes rose to mine slowly from where she sat, answering my question not with words, but in the way her hand came around my back and pulled me in closer as she wordlessly spread her thighs.
Lauren talks when she’s nervous.
Today, she didn’t say a word. Ironically, her uncharacteristic silence only seemed to draw out the talkativeness in me. When my voice sounded in my ears, it almost sounded like I was trying to talk her out of it. I couldn’t explain it, but something just didn’t feel right.
“I don’t have protection.”
Lauren’s eyes dragged back up, peering through her eyelashes when she replied, “Do you have anything I could catch?”
I made a face at first, stating the obvious, “A baby probably.”
She chuckled at this answer, flashing a coquettish smile that was doing absolutely nothing to calm my erection down. “That’s what the morning after pill is for.”
No sign of humor in her words.
She pulled me in closer, craning her neck for a kiss which I unreservedly gave.
In the middle of the kiss, Lauren scooted up a little from her seat, touching the head of my shaft lightly against the plumper folds of her opening.
In that moment, there was absolutely no going back.
A sound like a moan reverberated through her lips against mine in response to the new sensation.
I didn’t part my lips from her, keeping her attention as my hand traveled down to guide myself through the distance that separated us once and for all.
The last time I’d been with a virgin, I was a virgin myself, and if my memory served correctly, there was nothing I could do to make this totally comfortable for her.
But I could try my best.
The water from the shower hit along my back, traveling down the rest of my body and hers.
Lauren was so wet that she was overflowing, and that had nothing to do with the shower stream.
As I moved the tip of my erection up and down the length of her folds, coating myself with her natural juices, the water from the shower mixed in to create more slip.
With her hands still set on my back, our lips briefly separated, and she drew in one breath before I brought it right back, pushing into her at the exact moment our lips touched.
Lauren flinched, her teeth sinking into my lower lip involuntarily in response to the initial discomfort.
Behind me, I felt her fingernails dig so deeply into my back that I was sure she was puncturing the skin.
I paused for a stretched moment, allowing some time for her to get acclimated to my girth.
From the way I felt each and every contour of her warm walls cling along the rigid hardness of my erection, I knew one thing for sure.
The tremendously tight fit was incredible for me, but for her it must’ve felt like I was ripping her in half.
Slowly, I inched further into her, feeling her fingernails drag down my back in one long, painful scratch.
I didn’t mind, as I was aware that I was likely hurting her more than she was hurting me.
Three quarters of the way in, the force of her grip relaxed slowly, a sign that the hardest part was beginning to pass.
Drawing back, I eyed her curiously as I ran my tongue along the part of my lip where she’d bitten me.
I tasted blood, which for some reason, I found funny.
Neither of us said anything, and the stream from the shower poured on, hitting us both.
It was then that I made a decision, realizing where I was.
“Wrap your legs around my waist,” I instructed, my voice coming out husky—completely lost in the moment. To her questioning eyes, I explained, “We’re not doin’ this here.”
My girl’s first time is not gonna be in a shower.
Lauren’s wet hair set along my pillows, encircling her head like a curly, black saint’s halo.
Her back pressed into my bed, the tiny droplets of water on her naked skin running down to meet the fabric of my sheets.
She looked at me with those dark eyes wide with expectation, as I hovered over her, feeling her walls tense up around me with every breath I took.
“Relax,” I whispered, trying to sound reassuring, but against the intensity of her tight hold on me, the word barely came out audible. Still, she somehow understood, letting out a slow breath before grazing her front teeth along her lower lip nervously. Lauren and that lip…
My dick twitched at the sight. I’d never actually told her that watching her bite that lower lip of hers never failed to turn me on, but she’d certainly felt my response to it just then.
A half smile raised my cheek as I lowered down to meet her lips, timing my first thrust at the exact moment our lips touched.
As expected, she flinched, her hand coming up to catch my bicep reflexively before relaxing yet again.
I deepened our kiss, starting my movements off slow so to not hurt her, developing a slow and deliberate momentum that saw her fingernails squeeze into my arm.
Lauren, despite her expected discomfort, was into it.
I could tell from how wet she was. With each thrust into her, I felt her fingers around my arm loosen, and the rigidity of her body relax once and for all.
Briefly, I thought myself lucky for the fact that I wouldn’t need to pull out. I was sure I didn’t have the willpower.
When the first moan passed through her lips, it marked a meaningful transition in the process.
As her pain began to subside, I could feel the composition of her body change the moment it started to get good for her.
I smiled against her lips, a sense of relief settling upon confirming I hadn’t hurt her too bad.
That was my cue to up my speed, at the same time bringing my hand down between us to meet her clit, as I gradually increased my pace.
At the first hint of my fingers rubbing into her spot, her walls involuntarily clenched harder onto my dick.
Our lips parted, and a whine sounding like my name echoed through the room.
Shit.
She was perfect.
I’d never been one of those ‘Say my name,’ type niggas in bed, but with Lauren, hearing my name scattered along sounds of her labored breaths between each moan was—
“Kaaaaain!”
Beautiful.
Lauren’s body quaked under mine, her fingernails digging into my skin once again, but this time for a different reason.
Her breath hitched, the hardened nipples of her breasts pausing against me, and for a brief second, everything stopped.
To the cadence of the most beautiful moan, I felt her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me down for another kiss as her body rocked to the rhythm of the first orgasm.
“I love you,” she confessed between kisses, her voice sounding like a cry, weakened and quick as though she had no intention of hearing me say it back. “I love you so much, Kain.”
Lauren didn’t wait for a reaction, giving me no room for comment in the way that she desperately pulled me back down to her. There was a necessity in her behavior, an undeniable need to be close as her second orgasm shot through her and prompted her legs to come around and pin me to her.
The intense clenching of her vaginal muscles as she climaxed and quivered was just what it took to set me over my own threshold.
A guttural sound that almost sounded pained ripped from me as I filled her with my seed, a seemingly never-ending supply, as one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever experienced took complete control over me.
Lauren’s breathing was erratic as she struggled to catch it, her hold on my arms growing limp as her dark eyes fluttered open to meet mine. The euphoric look on her face was a relief to me as I came down from my own personal high.
I didn’t ruin her first time. There had been an inexplicable fear in me that I’d misstep and do something that would scar her. Seeing the faint smile in her eyes now turned out to be the most satisfying part of this entire experience.
I watched as her teeth sunk into that lower lip yet again—a sign that she was nervous. Despite this, Lauren was the first to say something. As we laid side by side, watching each other affectionately, her feather light voice chimed.
“Please don’t ever leave me again.”
Again.
As my mind began to clear, it was then that I understood what just happened.
Lauren didn’t give her innocence to me just now—she surrendered it.
A last ditch bargaining tool, so that I could make her a promise and calm her insecurities.
In exchange for her all, she asked that I don’t break her heart ever again.
She felt unsafe in my arms now. She felt temporary.
And her body was all she believed she had to offer. Her virginity.
Shit.
The last thing I wanted to happen, happened. I did ruin her first time.
With six words, Lauren filled me with a regret that shattered me inside. I didn’t wear the heartbreak on my face at first, opting to wordlessly pull her close, both as a silent reassurance and so that she wouldn’t see the guilt that flashed through my eyes.
“I’m yours,” I confessed, the most vulnerable thing I’d ever said out loud to anyone. “Long before today, and long after it—I’m yours.”
Lauren pulled away from my grasp, compelled to look into my eyes for signs of dishonesty. She searched them for what felt like ages.
When she confirmed my words to be true, she replied, “Promise me.”
The faint smile that turned up my cheek was vaguely sad. I had her love, but I did not have her trust.
“I promise.”