Chapter 57
Freddie
A dread unlike any other fills me when Mattias drives away.
Time to face the closet full of skeletons.
I haven’t even looked at my phone—haven’t been able to stomach the sight of all the missed calls from my mother, my sister, my father, or god forbid, lawyers.
At least Grace said I can move back in with her if things go south.
As if summoned, it starts to ring. My stomach plummets. It’s an unknown number with a New York area code. Something tells me I might want to answer it, so with a grimace, I do.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Frederica Hearst?”
The voice is masculine and official sounding.
“That’s me.” My name, not my father’s.
“This is Greg Segal with the NHL, Chief Legal Officer. We’ve acquired a copy of your film.”
“I figured you would,” I reply, pleased with how confident I sound. After what I’ve been through the last few weeks, I think I can handle some suits.
“These are obviously unusual circumstances. Our interest, of course, is first and foremost to maintain the integrity of the league—which is why we’ve executed an emergency stop-gap measure. A sort of force majeure.”
I remember a little about force majeure from business school, but I’m gonna need more explanation. “Like?”
“Your father, while still the primary owner of the Monarchs, has been found to have acted in bad faith and the league will no longer accept him as executive in charge of the team. The league has determined that you, Frederica Hearst, are best suited to supersede Hugh Hearst as executive in charge while the league finds new ownership. Is this a responsibility you’re interested in accepting? ” Greg asks.
My mouth falls open. I knew I was getting in over my head, but this—this is something else. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by dropping out of business school. I don’t want to be an executive. I want to make movies.
“I think you have the wrong person,” I manage. “I’m not cut out for that.” Surely there’s someone else.
“Legally, your father has listed you as his next of kin in the operating agreement. Additionally, recent events have given both the players and the league reason to trust your intentions. Assuming you intend to forfeit your sale commission. This season is already extremely tumultuous for the players, let alone with the playoffs around the corner. It will help if someone they can trust is running the show until we can find a more permanent solution.”
Did I hear him right? My father listed me as his next of kin? Not my sister? He never even asked my permission. It was clear that he didn’t give two shits about me or my choices, so why would he give me so much power?
“I see,” I manage to say.
“Is this something you feel that you can handle for the time being?”
“Not really, but do I have a choice?”
“The league is unable to suggest a better alternative at present.”
“Well I guess that’s that, then. Send over whatever paperwork I need to sign. I’ll handle it,” I say.
“That’s good to hear. We appreciate your cooperation, Frederica.”
“One other thing,” I say before he has the chance to hang up.
“Yes?”
“Does my father know?”
There’s a brief pause. “He does.”
My stomach plummets. I clear my throat. “Alright. That’s all.”
“We’ll be in touch.” The line disconnects.
I brace myself and head inside.
When the door clicks shut behind me, I swear I hear it through the whole house.
Silverware clinks in the kitchen, like someone’s just set down their fork and knife, and the air is thick with lingering words not meant for my ears.
My footfalls are heavy on the tile as I force myself to round the kitchen corner.
They’re all there—all three of them. My mother and Elle look surprised, like they weren’t expecting me home. My father’s expression is inscrutable. Only a heartbeat passes before he drops his napkin to his plate, stands, pushes his chair in and leaves the room.
“Frederica,” my mother says after another pause.
I take a seat in my father’s chair and push his half-eaten breakfast out of the way.
“Hi, mom. Elle,” I acknowledge. I swallow, but keep my chin up high.
My sister’s expression twists into a scowl, her eyes red and puffy. “How could you do this to us? How could you ruin our family like that?”
Even though we’ve never gotten along, drawing her ire like this guts me. I guess deep down, I wish I was someone she looked up to. Someone she admired instead of someone to be ashamed of, but I’ve just driven the wedge between us deeper and I don’t know if it’ll ever come out.
“I didn’t ruin our family. Dad did.”
“Frederica,” my mother warns, already trying to diffuse the situation before it’s begun.
Maybe that’s part of why my father’s had such a hold on us all. Like the film Smile illustrates, trauma doesn’t go away if you refuse to acknowledge it. It compounds. Grows bigger, more devouring.
Elle ignores her. “Did you even think about how this would affect us or about the things we’re all going to have to deal with now?
This whole city is going to hate us. Mom won’t even be able to go to the grocery store without getting heckled or worse.
Who do you think’s going to want to hire me when I graduate, knowing what kind of family I come from?
I’m going to have to change my name. Dad might even go to jail—” a sob chokes out of her and she covers her face with her palms.
I take a deep breath, but I’m shaking with rage.
When I feel like my voice is even enough, I say, “Do you know what he did to me, Elle? He manipulated me into a contract I never wanted, because he doesn’t agree with my life choices.
He’s trying to control my life with a fucking legal contract.
I’m not a child anymore. He doesn’t get to make life decisions for me, but he doesn’t understand that because he’s so used to manipulating our whole family without consequence because none of us ever stand up to him.
We’re people, Elle, not his fucking puppets. ”
She’s crying, and some part of me feels guilty, but mostly I’m just furious.
“You still didn’t have to go nuclear,” she blusters. “You made me and mom collateral damage. You’re so selfish.”
“I’m not fucking selfish!” I slam my fist on the kitchen counter.
My mother, white as a sheet, flinches, and I feel a pang of guilt, but I turn back to Elle.
“You can say a lot of things about what I just did, but it wasn’t selfish.
Do you know how much I stood to gain from keeping my mouth shut?
A fucking lot. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of.
But going nuclear was the only option to stop what was happening, and I had to stop what was happening because it was wrong,” I grit out.
“I’m not the one who manipulated and lied to an entire community for profit, Elle.
I’m not the one who engaged in collusion and tried to put hundreds of people out of work for money we don’t even need.
If you feel like collateral damage, it’s probably because you still haven’t learned anything from his mistakes. ”
She stares at me, long and hard, but she doesn’t have anything to say to that. My mother, also speechless, looks horrified.
“Freddie’s right,” comes my father’s voice. I jerk around and see him standing in the kitchen entry, looking utterly exhausted—older than his years, in a way that deeply unsettles me.
As much as I loathe him, I know he's not going to be around forever. The fact that this is what our relationship has come to strikes a soul-deep pain.
“This family is in a compromised position because of my business practices," he says. "I realize now that if I keep doing things the way I’ve been doing them, the way Teddy’s been doing them, I’m headed for some very lonely days. All the money in the world won’t change that.”
Elle looks shell-shocked. My mother, shaking her head, pours herself a glass of wine.
“Freddie, may I speak to you upstairs?” my father says.
I’m frozen, still reeling from his last words—and I have no idea what he’ll say in private, but for once, I don’t feel afraid. Wordlessly, I nod and follow him out of the kitchen.
“Obviously, this isn’t how I expected things would turn out,” he says when he’s seated at his desk, myself in the wingback chair across from him, just like the beginning of the season.
For the first time in my life, he looks something other than sure of himself. Vulnerable. Aged. As angry as I am, it still hurts to think I’m the one who’s done this to him. Who’s put his face all over the evening news.
“I’m—”
“Let me speak. You have to understand, I never wanted a part of this team, Fred. I bought in with my brother so I could keep an eye on things, make sure he wasn’t being swindled out of his senses.
You know how Teddy is. He doesn’t have many sensibilities to begin with.
Throw fame and glory in the mix and it’s a recipe for disaster. ” He rubs the bridge of his nose.
“So when I received the keys to the castle, I dealt with it as best as I knew how. I have no use for this franchise. Especially not nine months ago, when they were nothing but a money pit. I saw an opportunity to make all the stress it’s caused me over the years worthwhile.
Getting you involved was two birds with one stone. ”
Not liking the sound of that, I say, “Elaborate.”
“You know I wasn’t a fan of your career trajectory. You’re my daughter. I want you to have stability. To be a part of this family. I thought if I could rope you into some real responsibility, you’d change your tune.”
“It wasn’t your decision to make for me. You’ve never taken me seriously. Never let me make my own decisions,” I say slowly.
“That’s not true.”
“Yes it is.” My fingers curl around the chair’s armrests. “Remember what you said at the Christmas banquet? That things didn’t mean as much coming from me?”
“I’m sorry, Fred. I didn’t mean that.” He sighs.
“I think you did, and I think it’s going to take a long time before I’m ready to accept that you’re sorry, if you really are.
” I think of what Margot said, about paying lip service.
“Words aren’t enough. I need to see it for myself.
You can’t force me to be who you want me to be, just like I can’t force you to change, but we’re never going to be able to move past this if you can’t accept me for me. ”
His expression hardens, but he nods. “I understand that. Let me start with cleaning up some of my mess. Consider our contract null and void. Mateo is meeting with Eros this week. I’ll handle the legal fees and settlements.”
I nod. “Are you angry that the league’s put me in charge for the time being?”
“My daughter’s the acting president of a national sports franchise. How could I be mad about that?” He gives me a weak smile, and some of the tightly coiled rope inside me unwinds.
“I’m sure they’ll force a sale soon,” I reply.
“Probably. And then what? Back to movies?”
“If I can find my way back.”
“You will. You’re a smart girl,” he says. “And now you won’t have my reputation shadowing yours.”
Sadness darkens his eyes and another lump forms in my throat. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry, Dad.”
“Don’t be. It’s business, not personal.”
It’s a start. You can’t defeat the Babadook. You manage it, by accepting that it exists in the first place. For the first time since I was a little girl, I get up and throw my arms around my father. When he squeezes me back, it’s like some missing piece of me slides back into place.